The Balance Code

Elona 28th, 12 ArS Even though it was early evening, the sun was shining brightly, almost dissolving the barely visible energy dome in the air. But here, in the midst of the city’s multi-level building, only reflected splashes of sunlight filtered through. In this strange border zone between the shadows of the lower levels and the crisp sun rays of the upper levels, it was as though an orangeish haze was swirling. This haze enveloped the two humans in a even light that was occasionally interspersed with rainbow-splitting whitish patches of glare. Lelouch squinted his eyes as the reflected light from a nearby storefront splashed into his eyes. From behind the glass, a shabby unclothed mannequin stared at him with a lifeless stare. An empty plastic bottle rolled from under his feet as Lelouch turned into the alley between the store and the neighboring building. Rivalz hurried after him, looking around nervously. The alleyway ended in a blank wall, with only a gate with an electronic panel on the right. Lelouch pressed a button, and immediately in the panel opened a window, from which an electronic eye stared at them. “Who’s here?” a rough mechanical voice asked. “Rivalz Cardemonde e and Lelouch Lamperouge. We’re here to see Kajik” Lelouch replied. “You are not on the list.” Something like that was rather expected. “You’d better ask Kajik himself. He wants to see us.” “He’s busy.” “He is? Good, then we’ll call him now and find out why someone forgot to put us on the list” Lelouch didn’t hesitate and reached for his comlink. “Uh… wait, we’ll ask him,” the guard immediately jumped to attention. The door with the eye slammed shut. Lelouch leaned against the wall, waiting, and Rivalz shifted from foot to foot, not knowing where to put himself. “Come in,” the guard finally announced. The gate creaked open. On the other side stood a fearsome-looking Gammorean with a vibro-torch and a blaster. Kajik jumped out of the corner on the right, but he stopped abruptly, adjusting his gray-blue scarf and his black-and-ginger cloak. He was out of breath, but he was very diligent about pretending he wasn’t. “Where did you… aggh…” Kajik swiped his hand across his forehead in an incomprehensible gesture. “What are you doing here?!” “Came for a meeting,” Lelouch said, smiling innocently. “You… Right, follow me now,” Kajik waved his hand and headed down the left corridor. They walked quickly, almost running. The metal walls swiftly flashed past, and they found themselves on the landing platform. A lowly janitorial droid darted out from under their feet. Lelouch gave it a glance and looked around the landing platform. ‘Familiar place, though,’ he thought. Some of the walls and permacrete were still blackened from the blaster bolts left over from the fight with Naoto. Rivalz was staring off into the distance, beyond the broken chain-link fence of the platform. Apparently he was remembering, too. Kajik braked sharply as a man with a rusty mustache and an equally black and rusty cloak stepped toward him. Even though Lelouch hadn’t seen him up close before, he recognized Tarak. He was short, and contempt and irritation were sagging by skin folds and wrinkels from his face. He looked older than his age that Takeshi had mentioned the day before yesterday. “Who the kriff are these morons?” Tarak nodded toward Lelouch and Rivalz and glared angrily at Kajik again. Lelouch couldn’t see the latter’s face, but judging by the emotions in the Force, he was feeling a strong irritation and annoyance. It had to be said that Kajik wasn’t the kind of man whose emotions were easy to read. Apparently, he had some control over them, unlike Tarak. “I’m doing my job, Tarak, looking for employees,” Kajik hissed. “You kriffing brought some random morons here, for fuck’s sake!” Tarak was so angry that he was blushing to the roots of his rusty red hair. “That’s the kind of guys that…” “I know what I’m doing. You can trust them.” Lelouch smiled imperceptibly with the corner of his mouth. That was all he could afford in this situation, while inside he was quite amused watching this scene. Since the Kinraths were enemies of Naoto, his group had been gathering information on them, which Takeshi had shared. Including the location of this base, as well as the fact that newcomers were not invited here, which was logical. But what was strange was that Kajik had brought him and Rivalz here in a cargo transporter, and even climbed into the compartment for negotiations, as if trying to conceal the presence of strangers. The situation became even more interesting when Lelouch learned that Tarak had planned the kidnapping of Kallen, which had jeopardized Kajik’s plan to kidnap Rivalz. In other words, there was a clear lack of coordination between the two. All that was left to add was the reaction of both of them to Naoto’s attack and Takeshi’s account of Tarak’s violent temper. In the end, Lelouch concluded that Kajik was playing a game behind Tarak’s back, and that he and Rivalz were pawns. Lelouch didn’t want to be a pawn, so in one simple move he ruined that game, putting Kajik in a very awkward position. Oh, and now he’s trying to justify himself by saying he trusts Lelouch and Rivalz. Incredibly hilarious! It’s just a shame he couldn’t get a good laugh out of it. “Oh, yes, he knows! But you’re doing it behind my back, damn it! I get a call from security saying there are two people standing here who aren’t on the list!” Tarak yelled. Kajik wanted to interject something, but didn’t have the chance. And he was starting to lose his temper, too. “We have rules, Kajik, and you break them every time!” “And you keep changing them!” “Because I’m the fucking boss! Got it?!” Lelouch thought Tarak was going to explode from the tension or have a stroke. Rivalz, meanwhile, was huddled behind Lelouch’s back, fearing that Tarak was about to pull out his blaster and shoot everyone in a fit of rage. Kajik took a deep breath as he listened to another barrage of insults in his direction. “Yes, you’re right. But they’re already here.” “So get rid of them!” Tarak grabbed his gun after all, but Kajik stepped between him and Lelouch, raising his hands. “This could hurt business. I’m doing this in your best interest!” Tarak stared at him suspiciously, but still took his hand off the blaster and calmed down a bit. “Let me do my job and it will benefit you.” “Huh? And what benefit will those two assholes bring?” Tarak put his hands to his sides, nodding toward Lelouch and Rivalz again. “Information. I make acquaintances,” Kajik added as Tarak snorted again, “And it’ll cost us a lot more if all we do is threaten all our informants.” “Fine, just make sure you report back later,” Tarak muttered and headed inside the base. Kajik glanced at Lelouch, waving his hand, urging him to follow. It looked like his eye was already twitching after all this. ‘Whoa. Either Tarak really is that unstable, or Kajik has already pissed him off before. Either way, in a situation like this even I would start thinking about getting rid of a boss like that,’ Lelouch thought to himself. They wandered through the corridors for a while, heading deeper into the base. Eventually they ended up in a small room that looked a little like an office. A little like an office because the room was a little empty for an office. Only above the water cooler hung a strange picture of an upside-down bantha with a pink hat. Rivalz and Lelouch sat down across from Kajik. Lelouch wondered what that strange picture meant in the middle of the empty gray wall of the bandit base, and missed the moment when Kajik pulled out a blaster and pointed it at his face. Rivalz nearly fell out of his chair, letting out a strangled scream and raising his hands as if he wanted to protect himself from the blaster shot. Lelouch licked his lips, sighed, and forced himself to look away from the muzzle of the blaster. With almost no change in his face, he asked: “So?” “Why?” Kajik asked what was probably the most appropriate question in this situation, having unmistakably determined who had come up with the idea to show up at the base rather than the agreed upon meeting place. ‘Why did I set you up? ’ Lelouch mentally grinned and said: “I prefer to play only those games where the rules are agreed upon in advance.” “Oh,” Kajik raised his eyebrows, “the rules are already agreed upon. And they’re simple: you pay your debts.” “I don’t owe you anything,” Lelouch reminded him. “And I came here because I wanted to.” Kajik lowered his blaster, noticing that Lelouch was not impressed. “And what was it that you wanted?” he stretched out. “The question is more for you. What did you want to offer me?” Kajik leaned back in his chair, pausing briefly. “Anyway, you said no back then. Said all you wanted was… wooden chess, right? Why did you suddenly change your mind?” “Well,” Lelouch smiled, “I already have wooden chess. Now I can dream of something bigger, can’t I?” “L-L-Lelouch, w-what are you doing?” Rivalz muttered in confusion. No one paid any attention to him, though. “About what?” Lelouch also leaned back in his chair and nodded at the cooler. “Could I have some water?” Kajik silently took a plastic cup, poured water, and handed it to Lelouch. He sipped it leisurely and said: “Often a customer does not yet know what he wants to buy. But when he sees a product on the shelf or in an advertisement, he suddenly realizes that here it is, what he has been looking for so long! Have you heard of it?” Lelouch put his palms together and placed them on the table, looking directly at Kajik. “So what do you have in your store?” Kajik grinned, tilting his head to the side, looked somewhere down, then nodded to himself. He stood up, poured himself a glass of water, too. “You know, Lelouch,” he waved his free hand in his direction, “I see your kinds from afar. Those who can be useful to our cause. Those who have the courage to take risks. But not because they’re stupid enough not to realize it. No. They take the risk because they can see what others cannot.” Lelouch covered his eyes and nodded faintly, indicating that he agreed. Rivalz looked at him and Kajik in surprise, unable to grasp the gist of the conversation and not realizing that he was partially involved in it as well. “The only problem is that their vision can vary from person to person, which is critical to a… let’s say horizontal contract. It’s a matter of trust.” Lelouch raised his eyebrows slightly. He was a little amused by the streamlined way Kajik had described their agreement. “You said yourself that you can trust me.” “Huh,” Kajik snorted. “Within the terms you yourself declared invalid.” Lelouch nodded in agreement. Then he smiled slyly and said: “The conditions might be different, but the end goal is still the same. I’ve already said that I received a wooden chessboard. Now it’s time to step a little higher and start organizing tournaments myself, taking the crown off the top of the tower.” “Oh, even so,” Kajik marveled, and then shook his head, grinning as well. “The tower is tall, Lelouch.” “What do you mean?” Rivalz asked quietly, completely losing the thread of the conversation. “But that was your original plan, wasn’t it? Why do you want someone who knows Xarn?” “Huh?” Rivalz perked up when he heard the familiar name. “You do not know him.” “It’s just a matter of time.” “Wait, you want me to introduce you to Xarn?!” Rivalz stared at Lelouch in shock. “But after all…” “Would that really be a problem?” Lelouch turned his head toward Rivalz. Something cold and hard flashed in his gaze, making Rivalz shiver. “N-no, it’s just… So how can it be… without a reason…?” “We’ll discuss that later,” Kajik interrupted him. “Will this be enough to pay off the debt?” Lelouch tilted his head slightly, scrutinizing Kajik, who was still standing at the water cooler. “So that’s your price?” he grinned. “Only a small part of it,” Lelouch grinned. “You talk like you’re selling me a miracle. “Are you betting?” “Cause why?” Kajik wondered. “I’m a bookie, I take them.” “Then think of it as a stock investment. They’ll go up.” “Oh, really?” “Are you, Kajik, the kind of man who takes risks?” Lelouch leaned forward as Kajik sat down across from him. “All right, I’m intrigued. Let’s see what information you can get. The rest later.” “Good. Ah,” Lelouch nodded in the direction where the landing platform should be, “we won’t be disturbed?” “What do you think?” Kajik said lazily. “You created this problem. And it’ll hit you first when he wants to find out who you are.” “Me? Huh, well, I have a good mirror for that. You’ll see yourself in it.” “Gee,” Kajik whistled. “You’re already threatening me, I see!” “Not after you, not after you.” Rivalz stared at the two of them dumbfounded, trying to figure out what the hell mirrors they were talking about. Kajik spoke to him for the first time all day: “Let’s get back to more specific things. Tell me what happened at the Babel Tower.” After a while, Rivalz and Lelouch finally stepped out into the fresh air. It was getting dark. As the gate slammed shut behind them, Rivalz breathed a sigh of relief and said: “You shouldn’t have gotten into this shit. It’s my fault.” “Enough already,” Lelouch cut him off. “I realized it was your fault. Now we need to focus on solving the problem.” “You don’t understand! You’re involved in some kind of mafia trouble! This is no joke, there’s no turning back in this kind of thing!” “We’ve already gambled with the mafia! And you were fine with it,” Lelouch hissed at him, dragging him away from the entrance to the Kinrath base. “No! This is different! It’s one thing to just gamble, but it’s another to actually participate in all of this. He already knows everything about you, about the Academy and your sister, and you know nothing about him! It’s a deal with the devil, Lelouch!” Lelouch looked coldly at Rivalz, clutching his hand tightly. “I believe it’s not the first one I’ve ever made. Now calm down.” “You scare me sometimes, Lelouch. Sometimes I think it’s not you, but someone else,” Rivalz turned away from him as he released his hand. Lelouch didn’t answer and walked toward where they’d parked the flyer. As he placed his palm on the car door handle, he noticed that his hands were trembling finely. He quickly tucked them into his pockets so Rivalz wouldn’t notice his nervousness.

***

Elona 29th, 12 ArS Kallen didn’t have any friends at the Academy, but that was more than fine with her. She carefully avoided extracurricular activities and group projects: she didn’t want to waste time on such nonsense. But it seemed that not everyone was happy with that state of affairs. First Lelouch needed something from her, which couldn’t have been a good sign. He asked to go to one of the buildings she had never visited before. In a small hall, colorful balloons hung on the stairs leading to the second floor, and a plate of pastries and bottles of juice stood on a table in the center. It turned out that Kallen had just been accepted into the student council and they had decided to throw a party to celebrate, even though she had absolutely no desire to do so. The argument that she couldn’t join any clubs for health reasons, they found unconvincing. They definitely need something from her, even if it’s not clear what. In any case, it would be rude to refuse to attend a party in her honor. True, Kallen was quickly beginning to regret that her role as a sick homegirl prevented her from swearing at the people around her in Mandalorian curses. Rivalz was still annoying with his stupid behavior and bullshit, and Lelouch was once again almost emotionless, as if he were a droid. “Hi, my name is Shirley, if you don’t remember me, we’re in the same class,” a girl with long ginger hair greeted. Her face was kind, a welcoming smile shining on it. Nevertheless, Kallen sensed in Shirley’s emotions either irritation or some other negative feeling. What it was caused by was completely unclear. ‘Nothing new, though. Hypocrisy all around,’ Kallen thought. She knew Milly Ashford, but not personally. It was impossible not to hear about the president of the student council, the granddaughter of the headmaster of the Academy, who organized crazy events. Anyway, it was immediately obvious that she was crazy. Who in their right mind starts an acquaintance with dirty jokes?! While Shirley argued indignantly with Milly about her behavior, Kallen decided to greet the only person whose face she had never seen before. “Hi, what’s your name?” she asked. “N-nina,” the skinny girl with glasses barely audibly replied. Judging by her emotions, she was in great discomfort. But Kallen doubted it was from the girl not liking her. More likely, Nina was just an introvert and didn’t like this party. “You don’t like noisy parties either?” Kallen asked sympathetically. Nina nodded hesitantly. “Then why don’t you leave?” “Try objecting to the president,” Nina said and smiled bitterly. Kallen turned around and saw that the arguing between Shirley and Milly had ended with Milly embarrassing Shirley to no end. She was all burning with the emotion of indignation and her face was flushed. Nina at first glance seemed the most normal of them all, but she clearly didn’t want to communicate, so Kallen stepped away from her. Just then, two people entered the hall. A protocol droid with a female body was pushing a girl with her eyes tightly closed in a hovering wheelchair. “Oh, hi, Nunnally,” Shirley said as she approached, still a little red from her argument with Milly. Somewhere behind them the loud speakers came to life, but immediately cut off the song that had barely begun. “That’s Lelouch’s little sister. She can’t join the student council yet, but that doesn’t stop us from spending time together.” “Hi,” Nunnally smiled, turning her head unmistakably toward Kallen, though she didn’t open her eyes. After Shirley’s words, Kallen noticed that Nunnally and Lelouch did look alike: they were both very slender, their facial features were equally thin, and their skin was pale. Only Nunnally’s hair was light blonde and Lelouch’s was black. But the most interesting thing about her was that she was slightly louder than the other humans. Or not louder… Kallen still couldn’t find the right word for how she felt. It was just that some people stood out a little more than others. A few days ago she had felt something similar from Lelouch as well, only many times stronger. By the way, he was back to normal now, except for the abnormally weak emotions. No, it wasn’t that Kallen hadn’t met people whose emotions were hard to feel. It was just that it was far rarer among humans specifically, and that it was more characteristic of the older ones. Speaking of loud people. Kallen turned her head toward the entrance to the building, staring at the wall in surprise. She couldn’t see through it, of course, but at that very moment she sensed something strange. Someone was coming this way, so loud that Kallen could hear them approaching even from here. Even louder than Lelouch had been a few days ago. She hadn’t heard anything like that until now, so she froze motionless, not knowing how to react to it. “Hey, Kallen, why are you standing there like that? Hey, look, I got the champagne!” Rivalz appeared beside her, excitedly shaking the bottle. “That’s not allowed!” Shirley became indignant again. “We’re of legal age, ya know?” Rivalz shrugged it off. “What if Kallen isn’t? And anyway, we’re at the Academy!” “Shirley, as always, is all for a healthy lifestyle,” Milly put in. “You say that like it’s a bad thing! Alcohol is what’s really bad!” “Kallen, ignore her, one month means nothing,” Milly whispered conspiratorially. ‘How do you know when my birthday is! ’ Kallen was about to exclaim, but then she heard a pop. Rivalz had opened a bottle of champagne, and a jet shot through the air right in her direction. The white foam never reached Kallen, left floating in the air like a piece of styrofoam. Only the bursting bubbles and the small splashes that dripped onto the floor told that there was real liquid hovering in the air. Everyone was in such shock that they didn’t notice a curly-haired guy with dark glasses and a blue coat with a stand-up collar appear in the doorway. His right hand was extended palm upwards towards the liquid hovering in the air. “Uh, miss?” he turned to Kallen, removing his glasses. Everyone immediately stared at the stranger. “S-Stadtfeld,” she introduced herself, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Ms. Stadtfeld, could you move a little to the side? I apologize, but liquids are hard to hold,” he said in an apologetic tone. Kallen obediently moved away from the flying champagne. As soon as she did, it spilled onto the floor where she had been standing a moment ago. “Holy shit!” Rivalz exclaimed. “Dude, that’s you, isn’t it? How the hell did you do that?!” “Well,” the stranger scratched the back of his head in embarrassment as he came closer. “Wow” Shirley exhaled. “Oh, so you’re a Jedi?” Milly asked. “Yeah, I mean, I’m a Padawan. I mean, I’m still learning.” “I thought Jedi looked different,” Shirley said. “I changed my clothes so I wouldn’t embarrass people,” she said, smiling broadly. “If you’re a Jedi, you have a lightsaber, don’t you?” Nina spoke up. Her eyes suddenly lit up with enthusiasm. Kallen didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. The guy was simply deafening with his presence. It was definitely his she had sensed until a few minutes ago. In contrast to his loudness, his emotions on the contrary were as if heavily muted. And his facial expressions and gestures were expressive enough to not match the faint emotion. ‘What the hell is this? ’ Kallen thought. It just doesn’t work that way. Everyone’s vividness of emotion is different, but it usually goes along with facial expressions and gestures. So much difference she hadn’t encountered yet. Even the weirdness with Lelouch could be explained by the usual hypocrisy. But this… this was too much. Meanwhile, Nunnally interrupted the flow of questions: “Hello, Suzaku.” “Hello, Nunnally,” the boy smiled. There was silence. “Ahem” was heard from Lelouch’s side. “This is my friend Suzaku Kururugi. It’s good to see you, Suzaku.” “What? Lelouch, why do you have Jedi as friends?!” Rivalz freaked out. Suzaku lowered his eyes for some reason. “Why not? When my parents were alive, we lived on Coruscant, that’s where we met,” Lelouch replied. ‘He and Nunnally are orphans? ’ Kallen wondered. However, her thoughts immediately flowed in another direction. While she had been in shock at the sensations Suzaku was causing, she had somehow overlooked the fact that he was, in fact, a Jedi. And Jedi are the enemy. They serve the Republic, they played no small part in the defeat of Mandalore. The massacre on Gildraan is worth remembering. Does that mean she should hate Suzaku? Kallen was still silent, not knowing how to respond to him. Jedi are bad, but Suzaku was bribing her with his politeness and the fact that he had saved her clothes from the champagne. He didn’t look down on those around him, as one might expect a Jedi to do. “Uh… Look, it’s really nice talking to you, but I actually came by for a bit,” Suzaku said in the meantime. “Lelouch, Nunnally, I wanted to say goodbye to you for a while. My Master and I have to leave Mandalore, so I won’t be able to visit you. But we’ll be back soon!” “I miss you already, come back soon,” Nunnally said. ‘Kururugi… wait…’ frowned Kallen, still pondering the Jedi. ‘Familiar last name! ’ Suzaku walked over to say goodbye to her and Nina. “Kururugi… Is that a coincidence? It’s actually just the same last name as…” Kallen asked him. “Ah, yes, Genbu Kururugi was my father,” Suzaku shrugged indifferently, though a slight shadow came over his face. “So you’re a Mandalorian!” Nina whispered in horror, voicing Kallen’s thoughts. “Well… yes, but I’m a Jedi, I serve for the good of the Republic,” Suzaku’s tone was as if he was apologizing for something. With that, he walked out of the student council building, followed by Lelouch. ‘Both a Jedi and a Mandalorian…’ thought Kallen confusedly. Yes, today was definitely a crazy day. ‘Oh, and the son of the former leader of Mandalore. It’s all clear. He’s a traitor! ’ Kallen felt something like relief. At least now it was clear who this Suzaku was and how he was to be treated. He might be polite, and he might be able to do magic. But the main thing was that he had betrayed his people, and that was unforgivable!

***

“You probably won’t believe me,” Suzaku said as he and Lelouch walked toward the Academy’s exit, “but Kallen is a Forceuser!” “Really?” Lelouch acted surprised. “Aren’t all Forsusers taken into the Order?” “Apparently she’d been overlooked for some reason. Not just any Forsuser, but a powerful one. She shines in the Force! I wondered why she didn’t stop the champagne herself. Then I realized she probably doesn’t know how. I think I should tell my Master about her, even if she can’t be accepted into the Order at her age.” “If she can’t be accepted, then why tell him?” Lelouch asked. “Well,” Suzaku thought for a moment, “it’s the right thing to do. Untrained Forsusers who aren’t registered can be dangerous, you know that. What if she gets angry and hurts someone?” “Look, we’ve been in the same class for years. She’s never even lifted anything in the air. Let alone hurt someone. I don’t think we should interfere in her life if she’s already in control,” Lelouch tried to sound as convincing as possible. The only thing missing was the Jedi’s attention! “But these are the rules. I have to report her.” “Suzaku, why are you so stubborn?” Lelouch thought. It was urgent to dissuade him from informing his Master about Kallen before he left. “You see… I’m afraid that if the Jedi come after Kallen, they’ll find out about Nunnally and me. Then our cover will be blown,” he admitted quite honestly. Though there were other considerations on his mind in favor of not letting anyone know about Kallen. In particular, Jedi attention might have interfered with his plans for her brother’s group.” Suzaku froze, looking at Lelouch in confusion. “I’m sorry, I hadn’t thought of that. But after all… She really could hurt someone, and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop her.” “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll keep an eye on her. If I notice that she’s out of control, I’ll call you right away.” Suzaku nodded. Lelouch mentally sighed in relief. “Just call at once if you notice anything. I don’t want either of you to get hurt.” “Of course. Why don’t you tell me why it’s better to keep people like Kallen out of the Order if they’re dangerous? Shouldn’t they be taught to control the Force?” Lelouch tried to change the subject so Suzaku would think less of breaking the rules. “No, a trained Forceuser person is far more dangerous than an untrained one. Without training, it’s extremely difficult to learn truly dangerous techniques. The untrained are less tempted to use their skills for evil. Sure, they can do harm because they are stronger, faster than others, and can sense their emotions. But only if they lose their temper, from grief, for example. That’s why it’s important to put them on the account, to help them in the right moment. My Master says that adults already have enough self-control, although there are exceptions. However, while they may be able to restrain themselves, such people may not have a strict moral compass due to lack of proper upbringing. You take one into the Order, train them, and then they start intentionally harming others. It’s like… giving a blaster to the first person you see and hoping they don’t kill anyone. Lelouch nodded, showing that he agreed. Overall, a logical thought. Only the Jedi, he thought, had gone to extremes. It could happen that if a Forsuser didn’t have access to the Jedi’s knowledge, he would seek it from alternative sources. And this can lead to unfortunate consequences. It’s funny that Lelouch himself, in fact, found himself in a similar situation. He’d love to be in the Temple Archives right now. But, since the Jedi wouldn’t give him that opportunity, it would become their problem. Someday. “Why have you been accepted? You were ten years old at the time. Did you have a strict moral compass?” Lelouch joked. “Uh, well… I don’t know, but I’d like to believe I’m a good Jedi,” Suzaku smiled. If Lelouch didn’t know his friend, he wouldn’t have noticed the nervousness or sadness behind his smile. ‘Perhaps I shouldn’t bring up the subject? ’ Lelouch pondered. This wasn’t the first time Suzaku had avoided talking about it. On the one hand, Lelouch really wanted to know more about his joining the Order. But on the other hand, forcing his friend to talk about something he didn’t want to…. “Okay, bye,” Suzaku said as they reached the Academy’s gate. Alone, Lelouch headed back towards the student council building, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Doesn’t want to talk… Why?” he was now ready to curse his habit of analyzing everyone around him and wanting to know all their weaknesses. Doing such a thing towards his loved ones was completely wrong. Huh. If only that was the worst thing, he did towards them! Lelouch was well aware that he had just manipulated Suzaku because it wasn’t to his advantage for him to tell his Master about Kallen. Without thinking about it, just out of habit. He’d lied to him from the beginning about having the Force back in the first place. What would be the difference if he told his friend about it? Okay, the first time they’d met, years later, the fears had been well-founded. But now Lelouch knew for sure that Suzaku wouldn’t betray him. And yet he kept lying about that and countless other little things. Each false detail added up to the previous one and widened the difference between his real identity and the image that others saw of him. The worst part was that the line was never clear. Sometimes Lelouch himself didn’t realize how many layers of lies had piled up there in his attempts to reconcile himself with the fact that he was doing wrong. ‘I guess it’s really stupid to pretend to myself that I haven’t done anything wrong and don’t intend to. And that’s after Grass and the Babel Tower. But how I’d like to believe that myself that condemns the determination to get my hands dirty in innocent blood is real. The one who shares Suzaku’s ideas rather than constantly pretending to agree.’ Lelouch found the student council building ahead with his eyes. The mood to go to the party was completely gone. That there was still a way back was nothing more than an illusion. It was time to find the courage to admit the truth.

***

The Mandalorian mask looked up at Lelouch with its dark T-shaped visor. It was atypically wide for such helmets, by the way. Lelouch contemplated how to fix the helmet. Clearly, it had been stripped of all electronics. Indeed, why would a slave need electronics? Nina’s help was not something Lelouch would risk. Otherwise, what’s the point of a mask if someone knows who’s underneath it? Rivalz was right then. Kajik knows too much, as will other potential enemies. Playing from his own personality was too dangerous. The only thing that wasn’t quite clear yet was how to make Lelouch Lamperouge disappear and someone else appear…. Lelouch’s thoughts turned from the problem of fixing the mask to its seemingly obvious solution. Forcing the person who would fix it to keep silent with the Force. Of course, C.C. had warned of the possible consequences of Force subjugation. But after all, Lelouch was still planning to use it only on his enemies, not his allies, so the consequences didn’t really matter. He just had to take them into account in the future. The bigger problem was the fact that Lelouch still didn’t know if he could guarantee that he would be able to use subjugation at the right moment. From his previous experience with it, it was clear that this technique depended on emotion. Something that certainly shouldn’t be relied upon. Besides, Lelouch couldn’t understand how any technique could be emotion-dependent, if control was necessary when using the Force. Perhaps it would be a good time to try again to squeeze a little more information out of C.C. Greeney sat at her datapad with a small holoprojector connected to it, watching something on the holonet. “So, the things you’re not ready for, you still want to do? “ she asked after listening to his question. “It’s necessary for my plans, so I’m going to try it anyway, whether you help or not. Or are you not interested in the success of my plans?” Lelouch snorted. C.C. thought for a moment, looking past him. “Not a contradiction to emotion, control is, when as an accompany it is serves. If not, the fallen one you’ll be, the one the Jedi scare the younglings with. So be careful,” she said finally. Lelouch just rolled his eyes. “Oh, I see, that the Jedi are right about something, you don’t want to admit,” C.C. snorted. “I still don’t get it. Emotions are fickle, how can a technique be based on them? I can believe that emotions temporarily enhance techniques, analogous to how the body is capable of much more under stress than when it’s calm. But how can there be completely different techniques? It can’t be that my Force subjugation is different from the mind trick just because I got angry while using it. See? That’s why I don’t believe in this Dark Side nonsense.” C.C. snorted condescendingly again. “Just like with the Light Side, » Lelouch added. “There’s the Force. Why does it even need to be divided into two sides? It’s like… I don’t know, declaring that gravity can be bad or good.” “An unusual approach, that is,” C.C. said thoughtfully. “Outside the box, you’re thinking.” “No, I’m just trying to get away from all the esotericism,” Lelouch shrugged, trying to hide the fact that he was pleased with C.C.'s words. However, he still didn’t understand. “More than the presence or absence of emotion, Darkness and Light are. It’s like… Force utilization two approaches. Two ways of thinking and seeing the world around you. Being Light doesn’t mean never feeling, being Dark doesn’t mean never being at peace.” “Suppose so,” Lelouch frowned. “But what’s the difference?” “What the difference in sensation is between using left and right hands of yours, can you tell me?” “Uhm…” Lelouch didn’t know what to say to such a strange question. He even clenched and unclenched his fists on both hands. There seemed to be a difference in sensation, but he couldn’t quite grasp it. “Why are you asking me this” he asked irritably. “It’s a metaphor I’m trying to find, so will come to understanding, you might in the end.” C.C. replied in a tone as if she were stating the obvious. It wasn’t that Lelouch didn’t like philosophy, but right now he was more interested in practice. And the fact that he didn’t understand how the hell he’d gotten what he’d gotten was annoying. “Tell me what I need to do to repeat the Force subjugation.” “Again, you demand it, but you don’t do it, even though you are threatening to. What you need to do, do I know?” C.C. stretched out lazily, the seriousness in her voice gone. Lelouch turned away from her. He already knew that this tone meant that the conversation was over for the day. Once again, it was no use. In any case, one thing is clear: he has to try. “Must be strong, your will, remember that deeply. Otherwise the victim, you will become,” C.C. added unexpectedly. That night Lelouch pulled the hood of his jacket deeper, took his bag and mask and went to the lower levels in search of a suitable workshop. Still, the comparison to his hands gave him one thought: using the Force is like a muscle skill. How does one learn to write? The brain sends commands to the hand over and over until it looks like the sample. And there are no words to describe that feeling of being able to write in the hand itself, no words to describe the feeling of knowing how to write correctly. It’s the same with the Force. It was probably the same way Lelouch had learned to use telekinesis as a child, he just didn’t remember it well. But back then, the task was made easier by the fact that there was an example in front of his eyes and there were sensations transmitted through the Force. Now there was only an idea of the desired result and vague memories of those three successful times. Above the door with the cloudy glass, a bell jingled. The light from the street lamp arrowed to the dusty counter, then slipped back out as the door closed. Along the walls of the workshop were racks full of tools, parts, and electronic devices of all sorts. “What can I do for you?” asked the slightly sleepy shopkeeper. He was short, with a large, hairy head and large spherical glasses that fit snugly over his eyes. Lelouch couldn’t remember what this race was called. But it didn’t matter now. Where to start? Maybe the same emotions he had felt back then? But Lelouch didn’t hate this sentient being. That was the original idea behind the experiment. But how else could he replicate that feeling, maybe use his imagination? The feeling of… power over another’s mind. When it’s completely, without a second thought, fully heeding what you’re saying. Oh, it was delicious. Lelouch raised his hand, reaching forward a little to better concentrate the Force. If there is control of the body, there will be control of the Force. That’s what the Masters at the Temple sometimes said. Mentally linking more complex mental actions with the Force to simpler, physical ones. Like children counting on their fingers, younglings raise their hands to move an object at a distance. Only controlling the Force is many times more complicated: even masters often need to make movements for telekinesis. ‘If it doesn’t work, it’s nothing irreversible will happen. Maybe they’ll think I’m weird,’ Lelouch reassured himself as he sent the Force directly into the workshop owner’s brain. The man even recoiled a little. ‘Now… Do I hate you? ’ he wondered. No, it wouldn’t work like that. That first time… Lelouch felt the emotions of everyone in that room because of the surge of the Force. In the Tower of Babel, he opened up in the Force when he realized that he had been unfairly accused of cheating. He has to make the connection between these incidents! Yishit by the end of the day was weary of the dusty boredom, the monotonous routine. Slumber entangled him, but then a bell rang painfully through his head, jolting him back to reality. The stranger, whose features were hard to see beneath the hood, stepped inside. Without a word, he held out his hand, and reality swam again, as murky as store glass. It wasn’t a dream, was it? If it was a dream, it was definitely a nightmare. Thoughts tangled, jumbled together in a torrent, finally spilling out, out of his head. This is it! Lelouch couldn’t see everything, only feel the emotions. Now it was necessary not to disintegrate into separate streams himself, with an icebreaker to reach the very beginning of the river and change its course, imposing his will. Lelouch was seized with excitement, as if he was trying to hold this stream with his own hands right now. And then a prickling fear surged up. Lelouch opened his eyes, which he had closed unwillingly before, immersed in the Force. Yishit was staring at him, tear-damp glasses distorting his black eyes. This was his fear, this was him hurting from the fact that his consciousness had just been tried to be broken. He just wanted to be himself, to live a life, maybe a dull and sleepy life, but his own. ‘I’m doing something terrible, aren’t I? ’ Lelouch thought bitterly. A soft condemnation met his thoughts, despair and hope to get out of the broken labyrinth of his mind. “Don’t!” the other’s whisper desperately pleaded. “I’m sorry,” he was whispering himself. Lelouch sprinted out of the store into the fresh evening air. He was breathing heavily, his heart beating loudly in his chest. His hands touched the damp skin of his face. Yishit’s tears were pouring from his eyes. Damn it. This empathy thing had gone too far. No, it didn’t take hate to use the Force subjugation. Hate was needed to wash away doubt and pity. Its heat was the fuel that accelerated the process. The connection, the penetration, and the change in past times had flashed by so quickly that Lelouch hadn’t even been able to realize or feel exactly what he had done. And now he knew why subjugation could have such serious consequences. It is devastating. But worst of all — it is necessary. Otherwise the plan would become too dangerous and risky. Then there was no way to help Rivalz with his debts, to stop the Black King and Clovis. And it takes practice to make sure that everything goes smoothly at the right moment. Lelouch growled silently, in a desperate rage slamming his fist into the wall, which immediately began to crack. The Force swirled around him worriedly. For the sake of the ultimate goal, someone had to get hurt, hadn’t that been obvious from the start? It had been, of course. But even killing now didn’t seem as heinous as this damned Force subjugation. How could he have so easily brushed off the consequences as recently afternoon? So why should this workshop owner suffer, why not pick some thug after all? Lelouch had found the answer on his way here. He needed to know if he could use subjugation in a situation where the enemy didn’t seem to be the ultimate evil, where he wasn’t the bigger scum that Lelouch thought himself to be. Ability to do what the situation demands, despite their emotions, is especially important for a Forsuser. Lelouch hugged his shoulders, trying to calm himself down. If he didn’t do it now, he wouldn’t be able to do it at the decisive moment. There was no turning back, only forward. And there was blood ahead. That was what he wanted to force himself to accept. The bell rang painfully again. He felt dizzy and nauseous, but Yishit lifted his head and recoiled. The same stranger stepped toward him, but now his hood was pulled down and his movements were harsh. Fear chained Yishit’s arms and legs. Lelouch leaned on the counter with his left hand, looming over the small creature, his right hand raised in the same gesture. His lips contorted in a wicked grimace, and he determinedly invaded the man’s consciousness. The important thing was to do it quickly and painlessly. And this time the pain was swept aside, the fear slightly prickled, but it too dissipated under the pressure. The last barrier of will remained. Suddenly, Lelouch was thrown into a dark abyss, bristling with the toothy edges of gears. He quickly, though not without effort, suppressed a flash of panic, and his feet touched the dark surface, beneath which he could see vaguely the thick snakes of wires or the bulging lines of giant microchips. Yishit stood before him in the beam of light. He seemed even smaller now, barely taller than C.C. “Don’t,” he whispered. His cloudy black eyes under his glasses looked pleading. “I can see in your face that you don’t want to do this.” Lelouch’s heart clenched, letting the bitterness of regret flow through his veins again. He brought his hand to his head and whispered: “I have no face.” His fingers touched the cold surface of the metal. The mask that had been the pretext for this nightmare appeared on his head. “I can see that you want justice. But your methods are unjust. You are confused, this is not your way!” Lelouch turned around and met Suzaku’s gaze. He looked at him with reproach and disappointment. They were standing on the roof of the Academy, but the sky was swallowed up by the darkness of unconsciousness. “Without getting your hands dirty with blood, you can’t change the world.” The skin of his palms and fingers tightened unpleasantly. Lelouch looked at his hands, covered in dried blood, and put on gloves to hide the blood from other people’s eyes. “But what does this have to do with senseless cruelty!” Yishit’s voice was full of piercing despair. Lelouch grabbed the edges of his cloak, pulling it towards him as if he was trying to hide. He didn’t have the resolve to follow through. He was ready to fall to his knees and surrender. He knew that truth was not on his side this time. ‘If you started it, finish it, accomplish the goal by all means right and wrong. Pity can be left for later. Look, see why it’s important? ’ someone else said coldly. Lelouch looked down and saw that beneath the murky glass of the floor were now the squares of a chessboard, not wires and chips. And the glass itself reflected the faces of his friends and family, encircling him from all sides. They reached out their hands to him, grabbed him by his cloak, pressed him down, looked at him with empty dead eyes. “You…” Lelouch hissed angrily in a voice not his own. “I won’t let you!” No one, not Kajik, not this one… No one dares use his loved ones! No one tears his most precious memories from his mind! Lelouch rushed toward Yishit, who was suddenly much farther away than he had been before. His lightsaber with a curved hilt appeared in his hand. A violet light illuminated the dark space. “I know you, Lelouch,” Yishit said quietly, who had grown noticeably taller. “I’m not the one you hate, you wouldn’t do that.....” “Oh, that’s the problem. You know too much now,” Lelouch grinned beneath his mask. “And no one should know me.” The blade of his sword glinted in Yishit’s glasses as Lelouch raised it over his head. “I’m myself — no one.” It sounded funny. A strange, abnormal smile crept onto his face. Yishit wanted to say something, but the sword sliced him in half and he melted into thin air. Lelouch woke up where he stood, at the counter. His head was slightly dizzy, and his whole body felt weak. He seemed to have used up almost all of his Force on this mental struggle. Yishit was slowly settling down along the wall on the other side. Lelouch cleared his throat and called out to him. The voice felt alien. “Yishit.” The man raised his head, looking up at Lelouch from below. His gaze was blank and lifeless. “Yes?” he said, equally blank. “Stand up,” Lelouch commanded. He stood up. Lelouch licked his lips nervously and pulled a mask out of his bag, then a small datachip.»Right here is a list of my requirements, as well as some sketches for… modifications. I don’t know if you need it, though. You’ve already seen what I want, » Lelouch said, that strange, even a little sinister smile reappearing on his lips. Yishit twirled the helmet in his hands and nodded. “Remember, I was never here. Don’t make any notes, don’t tell anyone about my visit or my existence. And… act normal. You can do that, right?” Yishit nodded again, albeit a little aloofly. A cloud of vapor escaped from his mouth. Lelouch shivered, the room felt cold for some reason, though it didn’t look like it had been more than a couple of minutes. “Very well, after the task is completed, wait for further orders. The order must be given to…” he paused before saying it out loud for the first time: “to Zero’s name.” The street greeted Lelouch with a warm breeze. He took a deep breath as he began to realize what he had just done. That he had succeeded. And while one part of him was triumphant, the other part was still embarrassed to remember Suzaku’s reproachful look.