Dispersal of the rainclouds

      — Do you realize that you kinda left her hanging? — Monica asked with a strange smile on her face.       I shuddered from the rush of goosebumps. There was a very sticky, nasty, terrible feeling in my chest. The feeling that something irreparable is about to happen. — Sorry, I’m going to Sayori. Yes, right now. I’ll be back with her in an hour! — I resolutely turned to leave the classroom. Already in the corridor, as the door slammed, a wild, almost primal horror seized my heart. Cold sweat broke out on my back. For a brief moment, I couldn’t take a breath because of the excitement. All due to the fact that at the edge of my consciousness, one terrible thought visited me, answering the question why Sayori did not pick up the phone today.

I broke into a run.

I quickly bypassed the school corridors and turnstiles at the exit, and found myself on the street. I inhaled greedily. My lungs were burned by the fresh autumn air. The sky was overcast, dark blue clouds were approaching from the west. Another breath, and I ran on.       “I’m such an Idiot!” — the insides spiraled with a tight corset of guilt and fear. My heart was pounding like a machine-gun burst. It will stop as soon as the last cartridge is fired — “How could I be so blind and as deaf as an adder!” “…This would be so much better if I could just disappear!..” — Sayori’s anguished voice rang in my ears. With every passing meter, my soul became more and more lousy. Panic rained down from the volcanic stifling ash covered his head. At the traffic light, I slowed down to catch my breath. Exhaust gases flying from the road, snakes clogged into the lungs. I looked up hard. The red numbers were counting down slowly and slowly, as if mocking. “…If I wasn’t here, you wouldn’t have to waste your time on me!..”       I spat viciously at my feet and rushed on, not even waiting for the green light. Stumbling over my own feet and not paying attention to the stiffening muscles, I clenched my teeth until I heard them cracking and accelerated with the last of my strength. A left turn, a sharp brake, a U-turn. So familiar and native street stretched ahead. Here’s well seen my house, and Sayori’s house is behind it. “…I like you so much that I want to die!..” Everything shrank inside. I flew over another busy intersection, running through the red again. Her house was only a stone’s throw away. The wind mercilessly lashed my face, burning and scratching cheeks, nostrils, throat. And still, through watery eyes, I was able to distinguish the white neat fence of Sayori’s house. The rain began to fall modestly. I began to slow down. Meter by meter, inhale by exhale, step by step. I stopped at the wooden gate breathing heavily. “If all of these would be just my bad thoughts… I wish it was all my paranoia!” — the brains were slowly boiling, turning into a burnt, black-coal-covered porridge with lumps of confused thoughts and conjectures.       I entered the courtyard and walked confidently to the front door. Running gave a good discharge. My mind was sober after the adrenaline dose, a viscous fatigue rolled over my shoulders. I grabbed the door handle tightly, pressed it and opened the door with a bang. As always, it’s open. An empty hallway met me at the threshold. And silence. Ominous silence. The lights were off everywhere. I clenched my fists until white. A vein appeared on my forehead. “The main thing is not to freak out…” — I took a deep breath and then exhaled. It didn’t make me feel better. I swallowed loudly and deliberately stomped up the stairs. Each step echoed briefly on the stairwell, taking my anxious gaze higher and higher up the stairs, until at the level of the baseboard, Sayori’s bedroom, which was further down the corridor, seemed to me. Trembling like a leaf on the wind, I went to the door to her room. It was quiet on the other side. I reached for the door handle with an uncertain movement. I quietly grabbed her and froze… Froze. At the most crucial moment. “It’s uncivilized to break into a girl’s personal space like this, isn’t it?” — fingers turned white because of my tight grip. — Sayori… — my voice was shaking, — You didn’t pick up the phone this morning. Today is the first day of the festival. You didn’t oversleep, did you, sleepyhead?       The silence was the answer to me. “…Why won’t the rain clouds go away?…” — If you don’t answer me in thirty seconds, I’m in… — and suddenly I heard a quiet, forced, strangled wheeze. A downpour drummed on the window. My nerves finally gave up. I open the door with a loud bang, looking straight ahead and…

My heart skipped a few beats.

— S-Sayori… — I mumbled her name indistinctly and couldn 't say anything else. — “My beloved Sayori… no…” — I opened my mouth, but could not squeeze out a sound. The first tear rolled down my cheek. Her body swayed slightly on a short noose tightly tied around her slender neck. She was wearing her favorite pajamas. Her fading sky-blue eyes looked down and through somewhere. — SAYORI! — I rushed forward. Instantly a heart-rending scream was squeezed by a spasm in the throat. I was choking. I was literally on the verge, I could barely keep myself in hand. A sharp object was needed. Urgently. I tried to make out at least a stationery knife on her desktop through the eyes covered with approaching tears. Fuck.

I can’t see a damn thing.

Notebooks and pencils flew off the table. Then I began to pull out of with the clang the drawers with the office: paper clips, stapler, rulers…

Nothing!

Suddenly the eye caught on a red scissors. Without any hesitation I grabbed them and ran up to Sayori again. My heart skipped a beat once again. It was worth curse looking at her… I bit my lip until it bled and looked away. There is a lump in the throat. Large drops of tears in the eyes. And an incurable wound on my heart. “Concentrate!” — I put the stool on the floor and climbed on it. Wiping away my tears, I took the scissors in my teeth and lifted Sayori for a little. Now the most difficult thing was coming. With one hand I continued to hold Sayori, with the other I used scissors to slip the rope at the neck and carefully, convulsively, fearing harm, began to cut. The seconds stretched like a viscous resin, mocking on me, seemed like hours. The blades barely gnawed through the hard and tough fibers of the cursed loop. The material with a goddamn mocking crunch, a vile mockery, slowly and reluctantly dispersed under the closing blades. I was boiling inside, exploding, burning alive and drowning. I wanted to break these fucking bonds of death with my teeth and nails. I became fixated and, as if in a delirium, whispered: “Hurry up! Come on! Well!”. I barely had my will for not to burst into tears on the spot. And finally, the scissors made their last click — the rope broke! Sayori fell on top of me, I barely managed to grab her. The stool, unable to withstand two of us, tipped over. I hugged Sayori tightly to me and landed hard on my back. The air was knocked out of my lungs, the forces I needed so much were rapidly pouring out of my body. “This is not the end yet!” — I supported Sayori by the shoulders and gently laid her on my lap. A few salty drops fell on her face. A bleeding abrasion was imprinted on Sayori’s neck with a terrible long ring. Her slightly pale eyes looked like an empty glass right through my chipped and crushed heart, touching the vulnerable soul. How painfully her azure eyes burned through me now… I stretched out my cold trembling fingers to her scar, to the carotid artery. How scary it is not to hear her heart now, when my own was pounding for four. It’s scary to think that you’re late and that it’s all your fault. So dreadfully… I closed my eyes. Exhaled. Time stood still. I couldn’t hear the rain, or my own broken breathing, or anything. One hand on her wrist, the other on her neck. “Please… You are welcome… Be here…” Sayori replied me I felt it. I felt her weak but desperate knock-knock. My heart was electrocuted. The last cartridge will fly out soon. Time is running out. Every second counts. Blinded by tears, I took my mobile phone out of my pocket and pressed the cherished numbers “119”. Buzzers...