The dark side of your heart

There are moments, instants existing in this world that feel surrealistic. A part of you tries to process the fact that it's in fact happening, that you're experiencing it for real, while another part is just waiting for the moment for you to suddenly wake up and realize that it was only a very realistic dream... but this moment's not coming and everything feels as though you're wandering through a kind of daydream. Something similar was now happening to Lovino and Antonio, who were still immersed in that awkward kiss which they just had started to get used to. Their mouths had only recently created a mutual movement, slow and without any hurry, just like their breaths, that were getting calm again... or, at least, until they were interrupted. Tortuga basically jumped on their legs, or, more precisely, on Lovino's legs and buried his claws into the Italian's trousers for a better hold, accidentally scratching him. Lovino let out a pained sound, breaking away from the kiss and bringing himself and the other man back to reality. Antonio practically jumped to the side and let out a stifled scream, immediately averting his gaze when his emerald eyes met the other's brown ones. "Ah... I, so-sorry, sorry," he stuttered, moving a few steps away from Lovino, who desperately tried to process what had happened, and then had no clue, what to do, just standing there and listening to Tortuga's endless meows, while the cat was attempting to climb up his legs without a lot of success. Redirecting his gaze from Antonio to Tortuga, he decided to pick up the latter, who was obviously demanding his attention, and looked at the Spaniard again, who was walking towards his living room, covering his mouth and with a slightly shocked expression on his face. 《And what now? I'm such an idiot, such a stupid idiot... and Lovino? Oh no, he doesn't say anything, what should I do now?》 Actually, it was Lovino, who should ask himself that question, but instead was just watching that dumb Spaniard walking around in the living room and staring at the floor. "Lovino..." "I need to go home!" interrupted him the agitated Italian as soon as he heard his name. Then started to panic and ran away, carrying Tortuga in his arms. He felt like being in one of those teenage movies from the USA, but he really, really didn't have a clue how to confront a situation like that. What should you do after being kissed out of the blue? He didn't know, never in his life did he have to go through something like this, not even received a confession of love or an invitation to a date, so that kiss was enough to raise an alarm inside him, and he stormed away to hide, like every time he was scared of something. He entered his house, panting and with a heart that was beating fast as if he had run for miles. Only after arriving at his bedroom, he noticed that he was still carrying the cat in his arms. He violently shook his head and let go of Tortuga, who jumped on the bed, followed by the Italian himself. He buried himself under his blanket and clang to a pillow. After having rolled at least five times over the mattress, being evaded by Tortuga, and let out a scream of pure frustration, he followed his instinct and old bad habits, got out of bed and climbed the best he could under it, raising a dust cloud that made him cough and sneeze. Having managed to twist his body enough to squeeze himself under his bed, a feeling of relief overcame him immediately, and he buried his face into the pillow he had brought with him. "I'm not a kid anymore," he scolded himself, noticing that he had recently returned to his bad habits again and after all that effort it had cost him to get rid of them when having reached adulthood. Then he heard a meow and raised his head a bit, watching Tortuga join him under the bed and rest his long, thin body on his bent paws, what made him look like a sphinx. The cat was looking at him with his intense blue eyes with dilated pupils that seemed to take over his entire eyeball and licking his whiskers, as though he was about to say something to Lovino and just savoring the words. "I'm suffocating," said Lovino out loud, feeling his heart powerfully pounding against his chest. The cat was just passively observing him. "This hurts too much," proceeded the Italian, laying down with his face on the soft pillow and trying to breathe normally, but couldn't: every time he closed his eyes, he started perceiving the gentle contact of Antonio's lips on his mouth, and when he concentrated really hard, he could even sense the other's hands around his neck. Another shiver went down his spine, from the back of his neck to the other end, slightly numbing his legs. "God... I don't want to feel like that." He closed his eyes tightly, as though it were a supplication directed to God himself, whom he believed in so hard. He perceived a tickling, then a cold nose pressed itself to his cheek, followed by a rough tongue. The cat seemed to be looking for his face. Lovino petted the animal's ears and then also his chin and neck, sensing the vibrations in Tortuga's throat, when the cat started purring. "It would be so great if I could just stay here forever... living is too hard, don't you think?" the Italian asked the animal, who moved his head, showing him the parts where he wanted to be carressed. Lovino continued to stroke the cat, seriously thinking about staying under his bed until being forgotten by the world. Or, at least, until these suffocating feelings would leave him alone. He passed a few more hours there, feeling on his stomach the warmth of the cat's body, who had decided to curl up and sleep next to him. Each time the Italian closed his eyes, he saw that scene from earlier repeating itself in his mind, like an endless movie. Each time he ran his hand over his neck, he felt the Spaniard's touch like a burn mark on his skin, and each time he was just looking at the darkness and the cobwebs under his mattress, he heard Antonio's thoughts in his head. The other's fear and also these ones... that had screamed, how happy he was. But Lovino still didn't understand the reason for Antonio's happiness, he just couldn't seem to grasp the simple idea that even he was able to make another person happy. It didn't occur to him, so he was brooding over that topic, creating thousands of hypotheses. He didn't get it, didn't get a single thing about what was happening to him or to Antonio, nor the situation in general. He just wasn't used to it. Lovino could effortlessly create a manual about what to do when half of the world hates you, about how to avoid people and how to treat the ones who only wanted to deceive you, the liars and hypocrites... but when it came to the opposite, he was helpless, without knowing what to do with all these unknown feelings. When his brain got tired of thinking so much, he forced his eyes to shut and slowly fell into a deep sleep, still hidden under his bed. Meanwhile, the new morning was beginning outside and people were starting their day. However, there were some, who hadn't slept a wink during the night. One of them was Antonio, who hadn't left the living room. Once again, he was lying on the floor, completely forgetting about the fact that he possessed furniture. Sprawled out, with his stomach and cheek pressed against the cold floor. "God, why have you made me such an idiot? Or did Mom drop me as a baby?... Why do I always have to ruin everything?" he asked himself quietly, with a sad tone. "You're stupid, Antonio Fernández Carriedo, S.T.U.P.I.D. How in the world could you do something like that?" He closed his eyes and remember the exact moment when an impulse impossible to control made him push Lovino against the wall and give him that not very romantic kiss. "Ahhhh! But it's Lovino's fault!" he exclaimed, suddenly sitting up on his calves. "If he wasn't so damn cute, this wouldn't have happened." Yeah, he was very sure that Lovino was the only one to blame. "If he wasn't that way with me... though he's mostly scolding me all the time and I make him angry with my personality und he always complains how much I frustrate him, because of the way I am..." With every aspect he listed, Antonio doubled over more and more until his forehead was touching the floor again. "Yes, I'm really an idiot... How could I believe even for a moment that Lovino could be into me? I only made him go through bad things and the only time I've seen him happy and having fun wasn't even due to me, but to Emma and the others." Now, he rested his arms on the floor. "It's obvious that he'd never fall in love with someone as useless as me... maybe he only kissed me, because he had no other choice. Right, what else could he do when I was literally pressing him against the wall? Maybe he isn't even gay, and I traumatized him or something," he continued, letting his body slide to the ground again. "Lovino deserves someone better than a manic-depressive guy with suicidal tendencies, who apart from that is also a hypocrite... no, he should have a pretty girlfriend or person in general, who wouldn't cause him so many problems, nor annoy him with all that depressive shit. Someone, who'd be there for him instead of making him worry or angry, nor frustrating him. Someone, who doesn't need to push him against a wall in order to kiss him... yes, someone like that." The more Antonio was thinking about that imaginary perfect partner for the Italian, the worse he was feeling himself. "But thinking about that hurts too much..." he concluded, closing his eyes tightly and sensing the cold floor tiles under his cheek and arms once again. If Antonio could be a bit stronger, if he had more self-confidence... if he wasn't such a depressing and pathetic guy, then he would be worthy of Lovino's love. But he wasn't, he was just himself, Antonio, so useless that the only thing he could do was to smile as if everything was perfect. That's all. "I need to apologize and tell him that it was an error... and if I'm lucky, we can be friends again. This is more than enough for me, it has to be," he said to himself, looking at the clock and realizing that he had to go to work in a few hours. He didn't want to, didn't want to act like a happy guy, since he was about to hit rock bottom any moment. Again. But if he didn't go to work, he wouldn't have money to eat, so he forced himself to get up from the floor against his will. It was so difficult that he started thinking for a moment that his body had turned into pure concrete. He went to the bathroom, but instead of doing all that morning ritual, was just standing under the water jet of the shower and watching the window and the mirror steam up. Thinking about all the things that could change from that day on. A thousand scenarios passed through his head and in every single one of them Lovino ended up hating him, not wanting to see him again or considerably distancing himself from him. Not once did it occur to him that the Italian might also have feelings for him. The Spaniard just couldn't grasp the idea that someone, whom he considered as strong and brave as Lovino, could be interested in a piece of garbage like him. No way. He got out of the shower and almost slipped, but managed to hold on to the sink in time. After having recovered from the scare, he headed to his bedroom, to dress himself with all the spiritlessness in the world. Despite having just been in the shower, he could barely keep his eyes open and needed to give himself little slaps in the face to wake up. He was so lost in thought that he completely burned his toast for breakfast, added so much sugar into his coffee that he couldn't drink it and oversalted his fried eggs to such an extent that he wasn't able to eat more than two bites either. Finally accepting that this day had started in a catastrophic way, he left the house, running towards the already cramped bus and passed his two-hour ride with getting mentally ready to smile and wait tables as if his love life didn't go down the drain before it could even begin. The rest of his routine went relatively normal. It just sufficed to show his smile, be friendly, swallow everything that was tormenting him and behave himself with that "natural" cheerfulness like his attitude was called by his coworkers. But in the meantime, Antonio was brooding over a bunch of things that didn't have anything to do with his job. He had just served tea with honey to a group of young women, who tried to flirt with him using sweet, innocent smiles. He returned that gesture, of course, beaming like always, but as soon as he turned his back to them, he wiped it from his face for a couple of seconds and let out a very long sigh. "If you sigh like this again, I will start to think that you're deflating or something like that," he suddenly heard Francis' voice. And without even realizing it, Antonio was already turning around with a smile, not because he was really happy to see his best friend, but because his body was reacting on its own. "Francis, what a surprise," he greeted him. The other one looked puzzled. "What surprise? We agreed two days ago that I would come visit you at your workplace. Is everything okay?" asked his friend, examining his face. The other let out a forced giggle. "Oh right, I forgot. Yeah, I'm okay, just a bit busy," answered Antonio. Francis looked around. The café was almost completely empty, except for the tea-drinking women. "Of course, you have so much to do that you don't have even a free second," he said sarcastically. The Spaniard sighed for the umpteenth time. "Alright, I'm busy with other things, not with work. But nothing you have to worry about," he quickly added the last part just as Francis wanted to ask him about it. "Every time you tell me not to worry, I feel the need to worry even more. So just tell brother Francis, what's on your mind right now," asked Francis, wrapping his arm around Antonio's shoulder. The latter didn't really have the desire to talk about his lovesickness, especially with the Frenchman, who, despite quickly falling in love with people and being a conqueror of hearts, didn't always give good advice. "It's really nothing that bad, just the usual... work and my house," was Antonio's vague reply, wanting to downplay the issue. "I don't think you'd be so down just because of that. That's not like you, you're a person who doesn't get affected by anything and is smiling at life. So it clearly has to be something more serious," commented Francis, sitting down at the counter and choosing something to drink from the menu. Antonio looked at him with a rather unusual expression on his face, that the Frenchman didn't see. "Do you really believe that's how I am?" asked the Spaniard out of the blue, with slight reproach in his voice, as if he was angry at his lifelong friend for believing in that lie, for not noticing that he was affected by every little thing and that he wasn't the strong guy who wore his smile like a shield, like a symbol of his bravery... no, Antonio was nothing like that, and it was incredible that the one he almost considered a brother still hadn't seen that. "Of course I do," answered Francis, raising his gaze to meet Antonio's. "You have taken care of others all your life, myself included. That's why I consider you strong and that's why I wonder what might have happened to you to make you show so openly that you are feeling down," he explained, crossing his arms and placing them on the counter, not taking his eyes off the Spaniard, who smiled again. He was a bit tired of hearing these things about himself, to be glorified like that, despite him actually wanting them to realize how he was feeling for real and to save him... without any sweet-talk... just how Lovino did. The sole thought made him lower his gaze and his smile got slightly weaker. "I told you, it's nothing that bad, I just did something very stupid, but today I will straighten out things again... I'll tell him that everything was an error." Antonio forced a smile, but couldn't deceive Francis this time. "But was it really?" inquired the blond, resting his cheek on his palm and looking at the Spaniard, who slowly nodded with a weak smile on his lips. "Yes... it was me who had a wrong idea of everything, so I don't have any other choice than to make it right," he finally replied, absolutely determined to not ruin anything anymore. However, perhaps there was someone who didn't think the same. It was close to noon when Lovino woke up. He lazily opened his eyes, but, forgetting that he was lying under the bed, tried to sit up, still half asleep, and bumped his head, crying out in pain and with tears in his eyes. He placed his hands on the affected area. "Damn," he let out between clenched teeth, palpating his head and hoping that he didn't have any serious injury. But it was only a bump. Twisting his body again, he crawled out of his hiding place and got up, stretching. His back hurt a bit due to the uncomfortable place he had been sleeping in. Saying a few more curse words due to the impact earlier, he looked at his clock, noticing that he had wasted most part of the morning. His stomach was growling. Trying to wake up completely, he left his bedroom, still thinking about everything that had happened the day before, or better said, the night before. He headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast and spotted Tortuga, who was having a comfortable walk under the table and also searching for something to eat. "Stealing my food again, aren't you?" he said, petting the cat's back, who rubbed up against his legs. The Italian squatted down to be at the cat's height, who was meowing at him and begging for food. But instead, Lovino stared at him and took his fluffy face in both hands. "The hell is your owner plotting? Why does he do strange things like that?" he asked Tortuga, hoping for an answer again, that the animal would explain to him in detail how Antonio's head was working, but the latter only meowed and tried to free himself. But in vain, since Lovino took him under his forepaws and picked him up. He directed his eyes at the cat again and frowned, thinking about the next question, while Tortuga was still squirming in his grip. "Why did he do that, for god's sake?" he asked the cat, who jerked another couple of times and then gave up. "Feliciano said that people only kiss... when they love each other," continued Lovino, feeling his cheeks burn, as if his entire body heat had gone to his face. "But that's absurd! This idiot can't be in love with me, unless he has a very strange taste... strange enough to fall in love with someone like me and even do things like that." His voice got quieter, as he was too embarrassed to even say it out loud. Lovino pressed Tortuga against his body and hugged him like a pillow, hiding his face in the cat's warm and soft stomach and perfectly hearing the animal's accelerated heartbeat. Tortuga was meowing, as if begging him to let him in peace once and for all and to just feed him already. Not even he was in the mood to bear all that drama between his owner and the Italian. "But what should I do if he really is in love with me?..." asked the latter into Tortuga's fur, hugging him a bit tighter. Lovino didn't want to admit it, not even to himself, but the thought that the Spaniard might be in love with him for real, made him feel weird. Made him feel something very similar to happiness. "Ahhhhhh! That damn Spaniard!" screamed Lovino in the end, let Tortuga go and got up to prepare breakfast, no, lunch. Pondering so much had made him hungry, and he needed to appease his nervousness with food or else he would go crazy. The rest of the day he passed walking back and forth in his house, trying with all his might to find something to distract himself with, to stop thinking about the kiss and about Antonio's possible opinion of him. He felt stupid acting like that, like a teenage girl in love, but he just couldn't help it. And to top it off, his chest had been hurting all day and his heart didn't want to calm down. He even arrived to the point where he seriously was considering to get on the bus, go to town and ask for... no, demand an explanation from Antonio! It should be illegal to cause such emotions to other people. But when it started to get dark, suddenly someone rang the door. Lovino did a jump on the couch where he was sitting, since he knew that Antonio was the only masochist who would come to his house. He looked around, trying to calm himself, but instead started to panic when he heard the doorbell a second time. "W-Who's there?" he asked. A completely unnecessary question, since he already knew. "It's me, Antonio... Can I enter? I want to talk to you." It would be no exaggeration to say that Lovino was about to hyperventilate now. He went to the door, but placed and removed his hand so many times from the doorknob, that he had to hit himself in order to pull himself together: after all, Antonio was waiting outside and would start to think that something happened to him. So he took a deep breath, placed his hand on the doorknob again, this time he would open that damn door for real. And he did, not meeting a smiling Antonio, who couldn't wait to see him again... but instead one with an afflicted expression on his face. "Hola Lovino, good evening," the Spaniard greeted him politely. 《It's time to resolve this problem.》 Lovino felt a freezing shock all over his body for a moment. Problem? What problem? "Would you let me in?" asked Antonio. Lovino just stepped aside with that typical rough attitude of his and slammed the door shut after the Spaniard had entered, startling the latter, who thought that the Italian was mad at him. "What do you want now?" grumbled Lovino and sat down in his armchair. Antonio took a seat on the couch in front of him, as if he wanted to keep as much distance as possible between them both. "Listen, Lovino... about the thing that happened yesterday..." started the Spaniard, crossing his fingers and playing with them, while staring at the floor. 《Come on, say it... say that everything was an error, a misunderstanding.》 Lovino heard with terrifying clearness what Antonio was planning to tell him, and felt as though every cubic centimeter of his skin was frozen with liquid nitrogen. He wasn't able to breathe for a few seconds, but stayed calm, or at least made it look as if he was. Furrowing his brow, he firmly clutched a pillow. "I wanted to tell you..." No, no, no, no, no, no! He wanted him to shut up! Didn't want him to say it out loud... didn't want to hear it from his mouth, with his actual voice. "Please forgive me," continued Antonio, having lowered his head, so that the shadow of his hair was covering his eyes. Should Lovino maybe chase him away? Tell him to get lost, before he had the chance to pronounce "I'm sorry, Lovino, that kiss was a mistake, I'm not interested in you at all"? These words shouldn't affect him, after all it was only logical, but hearing them with the Spaniard's real voice instead of the one of his heart and mind... no, the Italian didn't feel strong enough to bear it and face the obvious. "Forgive me..." No! He had gotten it already, no need to say it... it was enough... Couldn't he tell him a lie instead, at least? Antonio had a real talent for that... Lovino wanted to be lied at, to hear him say something else, no matter what. For the first time in his entire life, he didn't want to hear the truth. "Forgive me, Lovino, for falling in love with you," uttered Antonio finally, lowering his head even more, as if he wanted to bury it in the ground. He said it so fast that more than half a minute passed before Lovino managed to grasp it. "Huh?" the Italian asked in a thin voice, barely able to speak. He saw how Antonio's shoulders were trembling and how his arms, that were resting on his knees, were so tense that every muscle could be seen. The Spaniard continued to lower his head (if that was still possible). "That kiss was my mistake, I couldn't control myself and did this to you, thinking only about myself and my own feelings. But I didn't want to offend nor hurt you in any way! So please forgive me... it was an error and a misunderstanding, because for a moment I had the impression that you had the same feelings for me," he explained, letting out a sad laugh, relaxing his arms a bit. His shoulders dropped more and more. "And forgive me also for being that stupid and believing in nonsense like that." His voice almost became a whisper. "Why are you calling it nonsense?" inquired Lovino, his voice becoming firmer again. He sounded as if he were angry, and Antonio started shaking again. "Because it is, isn't it? We're talking about me, and unlike everyone else, you do know very well how I really am. It's more than enough to not let you want to have a relationship with me, at least not a romantic one. If I were you, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone like me, I'd always think how pathetic I am... and..." "But you're not me," interrupted him Lovino in a strict tone. Antonio raised his head in surprise. The Italian was looking like always, frowning and with a slightly intimidating expression and posture. "Of course I think you're pathetic, just look at how you're acting right now. I really wonder why the hell you lack so much in self-confidence," the latter scolded him, although he really should have a look at himself regarding the last aspect. Antonio was staring at him, unsure what the Italian's point was. Meanwhile, Lovino kept talking, sounding angrier and angrier. "And I wonder as well why you're just jumping to conclusions like that. You don't know what I'm thinking and much less what I'm feeling about you, so stop that," he continued. The Spaniard kept silent, until he finally seemed to have gathered his courage to speak. "So... what are you feeling about me? If you're telling me that you don't hate me and that I don't know what you're thinking, tell me yourself then." Antonio's voice had gotten calmer, but Lovino didn't expect these words and once again felt his face burn as if it was on fire. 《I don't understand you, Lovino, stop giving me hope... if you continue like that, I'll start to believe that I really have a chance and then there will be no turning back. I don't want to develop even deeper feelings for you, so just tell me the truth before it's too late.》 Lovino got more and more nervous while he was listening to Antonio's thoughts and looking at his emerald eyes, waiting for an answer. Lovino didn't have a clue what to say. How should he explain his feelings? He didn't even know himself whether it was attraction, love, friendship, pity, or curiosity... so how should he name that bunch of emotions that didn't let him in peace? What should he answer? He had brought this upon himself and was realizing that just now. Antonio's eyes were losing their faint shine from a few seconds before, and his brows started curving, turning his face into an expression of sadness and disappointment. He was staring at his knees again. 《He doesn't say anything... I knew it. Even if he tried to make me feel better, that kiss just happened between us in the heat of the moment... nothing serious for him...》 "You're wrong!" yelled Lovino all of a sudden, jumping up from his seat and startling Antonio, who hadn't said a word. "I'm not the kind of person, who's kissing someone because he has nothing better to do or due to the situation... I... I'm not even able to touch anyone except for my brother, so what should I say about kisses! I don't do anything just because of an impulse! So don't just assume these things about me and consider me someone frivolous like that, because I'm not!" Lovino's voice got louder as he spoke. He was clutching his fists and staring intensely at the Spaniard's emerald eyes that opened wide, while the latter was listening. The Italian started panting, fearing that this time he did create a misunderstanding for real. 《No... I told you not to give me hope... no...》 But in the exact moment as he was thinking this, Antonio jumped up from the couch and threw himself at Lovino in a hug, almost pushing him into the armchair he had been sitting before just now. "So it's alright for me to think that you love me too? Because if it is, then I won't ever let you regret your words. I'll give you one last chance to send me to hell and to tell me what you're really thinking of me. But if you don't, I will take it as a fact that you have the same feelings for me and will never let you go. Understood?" asked the Spaniard, hugging him tighter and tighter, almost making Lovino's bones crack. The Italian didn't know whether he was suffocating now because of that hug or rather due to all these feeling that came at him like bombs from Antonio's head and his own heart. He didn't understand that much of what was going on and almost felt nauseous. "I swear to you, Lovino... you have five seconds to give me an answer, and if you won't, I'll kiss you until you run out of breath," threatened Antonio again. The last words colored Lovino's face into all possible shades of red. 《Don't say anything, don't say anything, please...》 He heard Antonio almost begging in his thoughts just as he was about to open his mouth. So he closed it again, and still doubting if he was really taking the right decision, Lovino bit his tongue in the end and placed his trembling hands on the Spaniard's back. The latter flinched when he felt the Italian's fingers. And just as promised, he grabbed Lovino's face and kissed him. It was completely different from the last time, not that rough neither awkward, but instead full of passion and almost intimidating, as if he was actually trying to steal Lovino's last breath. The Italian tried to adapt to that new situation again and after some time decided to relax his tense body and just let Antonio guide him, obeying his every thought. For the first time, he didn't want to question anything, just going with the flow and nothing more. It felt good, after all. After a long while, Antonio broke away from the kiss, but still wasn't fully satisfied, so he started kissing the corners of the other's mouth, his cheeks, his jaws, the tip of his nose, his eyes, his forehead and also gave him a small kiss on the neck, before returning to his lips, as if he was marking Lovino completely. The Italian was feeling himself about to die from pure embarrassment, while hearing how Antonio's thoughts were filled with happiness. In the end, the Spaniard hugged him once again, as if his arms were a cage, in which he wanted to trap Lovino forever. "Lovino, I swear I kill myself if I wake up in a few hours and realize that everything was a dream. I'm serious." Antonio placed his chin on the other's shoulder, while Lovino himself didn't know anymore if the heat he was feeling was from the mortification or just the Spaniard's warmth. Or a bit of both. 《If it's really a dream, then I don't to wake up, then I could sleep forever until I die, without caring for anything else. God... I need to be sure that this is real... that he's here, with me.》 "I'm here," replied Lovino quietly, but close enough to Antonio's ear, who slowly removed himself, but still kept his arms around the other's hips, looking at him with a slightly odd gaze. His lips were only barely curved and there was fascination in his eyes. "Hey Lovino, this might sound strange... but sometimes I feel as if you could read my mind," said Antonio. This time, Lovino's heart didn't pound out of emotion... but of pure fear. He stared at Antonio, who was still looking at him like before, as if he was trying to find the missing piece of a puzzle. A puzzle that was Lovino himself. "And what if I could?" inquired the Italian with caution, carefully examining the Spaniard's face for the tiniest change of expression. But didn't spot anything and moved on. "What would you think it that was true?... I mean, if there really was someone able to hear everything you think and feel," he asked, gulping. Antonio blinked a couple of times and rolled his eyes, thinking of an answer. Finally, his smile got wider. "That would be horrible," he said, shaking his head, as though he wanted to remove that terrible idea from it, and hugged Lovino one more time, needing to feel that physical contact again. The other didn't react immediately. Lovino was caught in his arms, his scent and his last words... Antonio was right... it would be horrible.