The dark side of your heart

Lovino Vargas was lying in his bed, covering his ears with his hands. Slowly, he mustered the courage to crack open his eyes, finding himself in the darkness of his bedroom. Silence... silence... silence... everything was dominated by wonderful silence. Little by little, he removed his hands from his ears, an old habit remaining from his childhood, and finally opened his eyes completely. His bedroom was a modest place with nothing more than a bed, a bedside table, a chest of drawers and a closet. A room he had turned into his personal shelter by painting it dark brown and covering the only window with the thickest and darkest curtains he could find. Since he didn't fit into the closet anymore and even less under the bed, it served as a replacement for the narrow places he used to hide in. Another bad habit he just couldn't get rid of. At last, he completely woke up and looked around, trying to adjust his sight to the darkness, which was interrupted by a single ray of sunlight, struggling to enter the gloomy bedroom. "What time is it?" he asked himself in a slightly dozy voice, palpating the night table at the side of his bed, until he found his wristwatch. It was exactly noon. "So late, dammit," he complained, got up and went to open the curtains, finally letting some more light into the room. He was greeted by a sparse and almost deserted scenery. A street cat was sniffing around in his trash, but escaped, as Lovino began to tap on the window to chase it off. He saw it running away, until disappearing between some trash cans. The young man stretched and left his room to prepare himself a simple breakfast, during which he would browse the newspaper, looking for a new job once again. The last one didn't work out when he had threatened his boss after hearing how the latter planned to molest one of his female coworkers... well, at least he had been able to give that scumbag a good scare. After having toasted some bread slices and made coffee, he opened the newspaper, marking some vacancies with a red pen. Taking a bite from his toast and a sip from his coffee, he kept scanning the job offers, and as he stood up to get some sugar, he noticed at least five voice messages left on his answering machine. The Italian rolled his eyes, assuming that they were all from Feliciano, the only one who ever called him. Letting out a snort, he pushed the button to replay them. It was exactly as he had thought: Feliciano. "Ve~ hi, Brother. How are you? Fine, I hope. I suppose you're sleeping right now or pretending to not be home, but I know you're avoiding me. Whatever, remember that Mom's birthday is soon. Yes, I know, you won't come, so at least go buy her something nice, and I'll come pick it up. Ciao." Almost all the messages had the same content, with only slight variations. Lovino groaned angrily and picked up the phone reluctantly to call the younger one back. He waited a couple of minutes, until his twin answered the phone with his usual cheery voice. "Hey, idiot. What do you mean, I have to buy something for Mom?" Lovino asked him without even a greeting. "Ve~ Well, this is something people usually do for their mother's birthday, and if you're not coming to congratulate her in person, it's the least you can do," said Feliciano bluntly. "You know I'm living in the middle of nowhere, I won't find anything for her here. And I think I don't have to remind you that I'm unemployed," grumbled Lovino, taking aggressive bites from his toast. At the other end of the line, he heard his brother letting out a sigh, as if he was hearing that excuse every year. "You could go into town, find her something cheap, write a note and let me give it to her. Ve~ it's not that hard," objected the younger one. Lovino got mad and threw the bread on the plate. "You don't say, Feliciano. You know exactly how hard it is for me to go into that damn town full of people and all the other trash that exists out there. Just buy her something in my name and done, problem solved." "No, I won't do that again, it has to be something you choose for her yourself. For real, brother, you never told me why you're behaving like this towards Mom and Dad for years... as if they had done something bad to you," said Feliciano in a quieter tone. Lovino ran his hand over his hair, thankful for the fact that his brother was too far away to hear the speculations that were passing through the younger one's mind at that exact moment. "Give me a break. Fine, I'll buy her something, but only if you stop mentioning that nonsense. I'll call you when I'm back," spat Lovino, hearing his brother dreamy laugh. "Thanks, Brother! Mom will be happy! But she would be even happier if you came visit her." "And I would be happier if you stopped blackmailing me with that. I will never return to that goddamn place. It's already enough that I have to leave the house just for this shit," said the irritated Lovino, thus Feliciano stopped insisting. "I got it, I got it. Just let me know when you have the present and I come pick it up," said the younger twin to finish the argument. But before Lovino could hang up, his brother stopped him. "Brother, wait, just one more thing..." he commented. "When you go out... please be careful." His tone became more serious. The older one frowned. "I'm not disabled, dammit!" he yelled and abruptly hung up. Sometimes he was extremely annoyed by how overprotective Feliciano was towards him, a trait he had surely picked up from Lovino himself. But still, the older one didn't like to be spoken to as if he was some kind of handicapped guy, one who couldn't be near other people. With a snort, he sat back at the table and ate half of his breakfast. After having calmed down a bit, he looked through the kitchen window and suddenly started to feel worried. It was almost a year ago since the last time he had gone into town, and he didn't want to go through another one of those fits he usually got from being in the middle of a big crowd. Maybe Feliciano was right, after all, and he should take his precautions. How he hated being forced to live like that... but perhaps even if he had been normal, he would have still disliked people... there was just something about them that prevented him from getting close to them. They all made him feel as if they represented an imminent danger. He folded the newspaper, placed it on the table and went to get ready. When he was already dressed and presentable, he crossed himself in front of the crucifix hanging on the wall next to the door and took his money, his keys and also his MP3-player together with the giant headphones he got precisely for situations like these. As time passed, Lovino had learned different tricks to suppress the noise and make it more tolerable: he cranked up the music to full volume and somehow managed to damp the sounds coming from outside a bit. Of course, he could still hear them, but not as loud as before. Right as he opened the door to leave towards his torture, he saw the street cat again that had been sniffing around in his trash, now insolently lying on his doormat and dozing in the morning sun. "Comfortable, aren't you, you little bastard," mumbled the young man, patting the animal's head. It lazily opened one eye, looked at him and fell asleep again. "Guard the house and keep your paws off my trash," he said to the cat, who let out a barely audible meow, almost as if in response. Lovino put the headphones on and walked to the village's only bus stop, continuously repeating to himself, what a bad idea that was... he definitely didn't want to leave his godforsaken village for something stupid like a present. Writing a sappy birthday card would be enough in his opinion, but Feliciano could get extremely persistent when he wanted to (in other words, unbearable). What started as simple nervousness while getting into the bus, turned into anxiety, which continued growing the closer the bus got to the city. The number of passengers kept increasing as well, and for every new person boarding, Lovino raised the volume of his player and pressed the headphones tightly to his ears from time to time. He began to perceive light murmur, but the music could still deal with that. Lovino started to take deep breaths, searching for something to distract himself with, until the bus finally reached his stop. As he got off, the noise became a little louder, what made him ponder if he should just go back in and return home. But he didn't. After all, he was already there, and if he didn't buy the goddamn present, Feliciano would not only not forgive him, but also get more than enough blackmail material to make him visit their mother, what was even worse than spending a day in town. He took a deep breath again, clenched his fists and started walking, avoiding people, as if touching them would do him some kind of damage. Just as feared, the buzzing of different voices began to penetrate the cushions of his headphones, forcing him to press them to his ears constantly. The music was already at its loudest, and he tried to walk faster to not spend too much time near people. The noise slowly started to get annoying, so the line between his eyebrows became more and more pronounced with the time, without him noticing, while fragmented sentences reached his ears. In all that mess he managed to perceive worry, frustration, anger, crying and sometimes also dumb or very superficial thoughts. "Shut up..." he grumbled quietly, trying to not be heard and running his hands over the earphones for the umpteenth time. He barely looked at the shop windows. After 25 minutes of walking he had reached the point, where he didn't care about choosing something nice anymore, now the only thing he wanted was to just buy something and finally leave, so he didn't have to keep hearing all these voices and exclamations turning into an unbearable noise. As he unintentionally reached a busy street, he damned the whole world. At the traffic lights, a crowd began to form, of people waiting to cross the street. Shutting his eyes tight and biting his tongue, he tried to ignore the slight throbbing starting in his temples when a bunch of incessant sounds reached his ears. The voices became already incomprehensible and impossible to tell apart. "Come on, turn green already," he implored the traffic light, while the chaos of words got worse and worse. He could now almost sense the pain in his ears and head. Finally, the light obeyed him and Lovino almost ran to the other side, escaping the little crowd that had formed in the street corner. Luckily, he spotted a discreet shop nearby selling accessory for ladies, and entered it without thinking twice, feeling relieved. The voices of the women inside the shop assaulted him directly. He ground his teeth again. 《Does this look good on me? What if he doesn't like it? This doesn't suit me. My face is too fat. My eyes are too small. My skin is too dark for this color. I have to look better, I need to look better.》 Things like that were reaching Lovino between the rhythm of the music he listened to. For a moment, he found it incredible what a mess of thoughts women could have in their heads: almost all of them were focused on their appearance, and he could swear that nearly each one suffered from some kind of complex. It didn't take him long to choose the first decorative comb with rhinestones he could find, and practically rushed to the checkout. Still listening to all that self-critique coming from the female customers, who, despite posing like models in front of the mirrors, possessed an entire list full of deficiencies in their minds, with only a few good qualities. "Would you like to pay in cash or by card?" asked the young woman at the checkout in a friendly voice, while Lovino twisted his fingers nervously, feeling the throbbing in his head and brain increase. He needed a while to answer. "Cash," he almost snarled, now running his hands over his hair, massaging his head along the way and trying to alleviate the pain, but it only grew worse the more women and sometimes their partners kept entering. More insupportable voices, more noise reaching his ears, and more pain. The cashier took her sweet time wrapping the comb, while Lovino passed from twisting his fingers to wrinkling his t-shirt in his fist. His hands were starting to sweat, and the music in his headphones wasn't really helping anymore. The young woman gave him the little package with a smile and an invitation to visit the shop again. He mumbled a thanks and quickly left, just to encounter another crowd outside, which only worsened his headache, that would soon turn into migraine. When the wave of thoughts and feelings hit him, he let out a groan, now noticing that he wasn't hearing any music anymore. Which was strange, so he took the player out of his pocket, realizing that the battery was empty, since he hadn't thought about charging it before leaving the house. He cursed out loudly, what brought him some reprobative looks and also some words in return. The noise kept heading towards him, and suddenly the migraine made its appearance. 《I'm going to be late. I can't believe he did this to me. I'm gonna kill my boss. I need money. I can't be with him anymore. I give him five minutes to show up. I can't find my phone. Today, Dad will come home from travelling. How should I ask him for divorce? I have to pass the exam, no matter what. Everyone's an idiot. I don't want to be here. I hate this.》 Shutting his eyes tight, Lovino walked past all these people, hearing everything what was going on in their minds. It was as if someone shouted directly into his eardrums. The headache was starting to become unbearable. "Shut up already," he whispered again and bit his lower lip, trying to endure the pain without shedding tears. He had to get out of there as soon as possible, but the street was crowded, and the farther he walked, more and more people appeared. It hurt... his head was about to explode. He was panting and struggling to discretely cover his ears, but it was in vain. There were just too many people there, who created a noise he couldn't take. He reached the bus stop, but it was full of people, so decided to use the subway instead, however, encountered the same problem there. So there he was, searching for a less crowded place, and stopping at a corner, when the pain began to blur his vision. He rested his forehead against the wall, trying to recover a bit, still feeling the hellish pulsations in his temples. "Calm down, you have to calm down," he said to himself, his voice broken due to the intensity of the pain, and forced himself to continue walking a couple of streets, until he spotted a small café with only one occupied table. Without thinking twice, he quickly entered and sat down at one of the free ones. Placing his elbows on it and hiding his head between his arms, protecting himself from something the others were oblivious of. He could still hear voices coming from all directions, but now they were less; just some pedestrians passing by and the three young men sitting at the other table. The latter were drinking cappuccino and eating a croissant while talking. Some of the café's employees were coming and going without noticing Lovino. "Say, Antoine, when will you have time to meet your friends again?" asked a blonde guy with a French accent. 《I have the impression that he has started avoiding us lately. Is there maybe something wrong with him?... No, it's Antonio, he's always alright.》 "Shut up," muttered Lovino through clenched teeth, as he heard the Frenchman speaking and thinking. "Fran is right, we haven't been to a real party for years! Of course, we're responsible adults now and things like that, but drinking a proper glass of beer together once in a while won't do any harm," said an albino guy with a strong German accent. 《Take me out of this damn routine. If I spend any more day going to work and then returning straight home, I'll kill myself. Come on, Antonio, you always have something to do, you're always alright and ready to have fun.》 "Shut up," repeated Lovino, listening to the red-eyed German's real thoughts. "Gilbert is right, mon amour. You are the one who's going through life with a smile and cheering up everyone. Give us a bit of your innate happiness, would you," purred the Frenchman. 《I'm not alright...》 Lovino was so overwhelmed by the intensity of these words that it made him jump. "Come on, Antonio! Oh, how I'd like to smile at life like you're doing every day. Tell us your secret," the albino insisted. The cheery and lively laugh of the third guy filled the café. 《I'm not alright!》 And once again, Lovino got startled from this thought that wasn't a simple exclamation, but a real scream. Still with his head between his arms, he looked around, searching for the owner of that voice. "No clue what you're talking about, I'm just living my life, you two are exaggerating," answered the said person. But this time, this brown haired young man with huge green eyes sounded happy and had a radiant smile on his face. 《I'm not alright! I'm not alright!》 This was what his heart kept repeating at the same time, so loudly it made Lovino frown. "I'm so jealous, Antonio, you're leading such a comfortable, unstressed life, without having to worry about everyday problems. Oh... I wished I could be so happy like you always are every day," said the silver-haired guy in an exaggerated tone, resting his cheek on his palm and looking at that Antonio, who was laughing with a huge smile on his lips. 《I'm not alright, I'm not alright, I'm not alright, I'm not alright, I'm not alright, I'm not alright, I'm not alright, I'm not alright, I'm not alright! I'M NOT ALRIGHT! NOTICE THAT I'M NOT ALRIGHT! PLEASE, NOTICE IT ALREADY! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!》 Lovino groaned again and immediately covered his ears with both hands, resting his head on the table, trying to suppress that scream that sounded more like a heartbreaking supplication. "Shut up, shut up!" begged the Italian, pressing his hands tighter to his ears and closing his eyes again. He jerked while he was doing that and attracted the three guy's attention, who turned around to his direction. "Hey, you have a customer," said the German to the green-eyed man, who jumped up from his seat, revealing that he was wearing an apron, out of which's pocket he took out a notepad. The café's logo was sewed on his t-shirt. That young man was working as a waiter there, who, as it seemed, had some free time and didn't notice Lovino's presence. He stormed towards the Italian, hoping that his customer wasn't angry. "Please excuse the delay. Welcome. Do you already know what you want to order or should I bring you the menu?" he asked with his big smile engraved on his face. Lovino slowly lifted his head and directed his brown eyes at the other's emerald ones, which seemed to match his smile for a moment. "Stop doing that," commanded Lovino straightforwardly, making the waiter let out a nervous laugh. "Excuse me?" the latter asked. Lovino frowned even more and began rubbing his temples without averting his gaze. "Stop smiling, hypocrite." Antonio was completely overwhelmed by these words. 《What's wrong with that guy?》 "Uh... sorry, if there's something bothering you, feel free to tell me, and I'll do my best to make it right," was the only thing he could say, while Lovino hid his head again. No, there wasn't anything he could do. "Leave me in peace," replied the Italian, trying to ignore the comments coming from the other. "What did you say?" Antonio started feeling nervous, especially as he saw how Lovino started running his hands over his head furiously. "I said I want you to leave me in peace, to stop talking to me. It's not that hard, is it?" the Italian snapped, now burying his fingers in his chocolate brown hair. "Eh... no... but you haven't ordered yet," objected Antonio, seriously thinking about calling the manager. He heard the customer groan and let out a kind of pained sound. "Whatever, just bring me whatever and don't... talk to me... again," the latter managed to say, clenching his jaw and pressing his fingers to his head, reaching his ears. At that moment, Antonio realized that something was wrong. That wasn't just a mean, young customer wanting to ill-treat him, no, he seemed to be in pain. "Are you okay?" Antonio asked, placing his hand on the other's shoulder, who immediately jumped up and slapped it away. "Don't touch me!" he shouted, knocking over the chair while standing up. Antonio backed off, and the two other guys turned around to him, together with some people who were passing by. 《What's the matter with him? How strange. He seems crazy.》 "Sh-Shut up," said Lovino, covering his ears on the spot. "But no one's talking," remarked Antonio with slight fear in his eyes. And once again, Lovino felt all the looks and words directed at him, all at him, each one of the thoughts... just like during his childhood... it was exactly the same. "Shut up," he repeated, ignoring Antonio, but the mix of voices just got louder. He began staring at the ground, avoiding the sight of the looks that surely represented the perfect accompaniment to that collection of unpleasant thoughts. Enough... he had enough... Instinctively, he started looking for a place to hide, scanning the café with his eyes. Immediately, they spotted a little cellar, almost next to the counter, and without doubting for even five seconds, ran there and locked himself in, latching the door, in the very moment as Antonio caught up with him. Practically slamming the door in his face. "You can't go in there!", the waiter exclaimed, while the Italian looked for the light switch and turned it off, making the cellar immerse itself in partial darkness despite the time of day. Then, Lovino slumped to the ground, covering his ears and closing his eyes; he could hear the yelling of Antonio and the other employees, together with the vibrations coming from their fervent knocking on the door. He hid his head between his legs, feeling once again like the six-year-old who was afraid of the voices. But for heaven's sake, he was already 23... he couldn't do that kind of things at a public place. And still, there he was, curling up into a ball in a narrow spot, trying to hide from all the noise that was hurting him. And wishing for everything to disappear. "Hey, we won't do you any harm, but you have to get out of there." Antonio's voice again. He already knew that!... It wasn't them who he feared... but the noise. Feared getting out and be forced to deal with all that. He heard another murmur from the people outside, a French and a German accent having joined them; they made suppositions, while others kept pounding against the door, already having sent someone to get the cellar key. In the meantime, Lovino stayed there in the comforting darkness, longing for a bit of silence. 《Of course that just had to happen during the first weeks of me working here. He's surely mentally ill. What weird people exist in this world. We should call the police or a psychiatrist.》 "Shut up already, damn you all!" snapped the Italian from inside and kicked the door, scaring the others, who exchanged quizzical looks, because they had been whispering all the time on purpose, to not upset him. Antonio looked nervously at the door and was pushed towards it by one of his coworkers, saying that, being the one with the most tactfulness, he could manage to bring that odd customer, who was making that scene in the café, to his senses. Everyone agreed, since Antonio was always kind, attentive and like a people magnet with a calming aura that made everybody in his company feel better. He wanted to refuse, but the others kept insisting to the point that he decided to agree, but under one condition: if he couldn't convince the guy, they would be obliged to use force or even call the police if there was no other way. Antonio knocked one more time on the door and leaned his ear against it. "Hey, if you don't come out, they'll call the police, and I don't think you're a bad person... maybe just had a bad day." 《The one who's having a bad day for sure is me, and that's your fault. Come on, just get out of there already... stop behaving like a kid. Do you think we all can run and hide somewhere, every time we're having a bad time? If that was the case, I would do that every damn day.》 Lovino frowned and kicked the door again, scaring Antonio, who hadn't expected that. "Fuck off!... Leave me alone," screamed the Italian. He wanted nothing but complete silence, however, didn't get it. "Well, I can't do that, because you're in our cellar. Look, my bosses are already getting anxious, so why don't you just tell me what I can do for you to find a solution, and we end this without any bad consequences for anyone?" spoke Antonio again. 《Come on, man, if that goes on, I'll start thinking that the whole world has gone crazy and not just me alone... don't make me lose any more faith in humanity and come out.》 Lovino buried his head between his hands and legs one more time... once again he was causing problems... once again he was making everyone worry. "I wished everyone would disappear," he mumbled, without expecting that the other would actually hear him. "Don't say that. If everyone disappeared, you'd be all alone and that would be sad," said Antonio between giggles. 《Yes, you're so right, everyone should disappear and the world go to hell. I don't really care what happens to me.》 Hiding in the cellar, the Italian clearly heard Antonio's real thoughts and couldn't avoid biting his lower lip out of rage. Who did he actually pretend to deceive with those empty words of his? "And people like you should be the first ones to disappear," he said straightforwardly with a voice as cold as ice. His eyes, so full of pain and supplication just a few seconds ago, suddenly lost all their shine. He heard the waiter's laugh through the door, and a hollow sound told him that the other one was probably resting his head and both of his hands on it. "Ouch, that was cruel," Antonio said, his voice turning a bit sad, but still laughing quietly. 《I know that already... no need to tell me...》 Contrary to his previous thoughts, this time his inner voice sounded broken... giving the impression that his words came accompanied by a long, tired sigh. An exhausted voice. What a detestable, pathetic person... who made him remember why he hated people that much; he detested their superficial masks they're putting on for the others, the stupid act they're preparing every day, which seemed to be made to entertain an audience represented by the whole world. That guy made him furious, made him sick with his damn smiling face behind which he was hiding all these thoughts that had already consumed his real face for sure. That mask had probably become his second nature a long time ago and turned into some kind of leprosy, devouring him from the inside. The same leprosy, Lovino was hearing with perfect clarity. 《I don't think he'll come out, but if we call the police, there will be a huge chaos here, and I don't have the strength to deal with it... I wanna go home...》 "If you want, you can tell me what's wrong, and I'll find some way to help you. Come on, out with it, what do you need?" Antonio started again with that stupid cheerful and condescending tone, a friendliness that sounded ALMOST honest. 《Why me, why is it always me, who has to help everyone? Don't they see that I'm way too tired to save the whole world again? I'm sick and tired of having to pull everybody out of their misery, while I'm drowning there myself more and more. Come out... just do it and put an end to this drama, I beg of you... I've had enough.》 "I told you to shut up, shut your goddamn trap!" screamed the furious Lovino, standing up and punching the door a couple of times in a fit of rage. The owner of the café feared that he would break it. Antonio got scared and backed off a few steps, but then returned and leaned his ear against the door once again, listening to the Italian's panting on the other side, as if he were out of breath. "Just... be quiet...," the latter said in a low voice, still feeling the throbbing pain attacking his head. "Sorry, but I have to convince you somehow, and won't stop until I manage to. Come out, would you? What can be so bad you have to lock yourself in a cellar?" asked Antonio dulcifying his voice. He sounded happy and optimistic, almost like one of these guys giving motivating speeches and selling things on TV. Now he just needed to explicate an effective ten-step-program to boost your self-development. However... his real voice was the complete opposite. Lovino felt for a moment as if he was dealing with two different men. 《If I were you, I would stay in that cellar, until I lose consciousness and don't know who I am anymore. Could you make some room for me, so I can rot there as well?... Seriously... I'm done, can't take it anymore... I wished I could be like you and just escape. I'm sick of all of this.》 Lovino let out a long groan and squatted on the floor, covering his head again, to ease the pain, to block off the noise. He was the one sick and tired here! "I promise you that everything will be alright," remarked Antonio as a consolation attempt. Lovino opened his eyes wide, as wide as his eyelids allowed him to. No... that idiot couldn't have dared to say that, right? He could not have dared to tell him the biggest lie in the world! "Everything will be alright." And he even promised it? LIAR, LIAR, LIAR! A liar like Mom, a liar like Dad... a sad being, not even able to deceive himself and rotting in his own misery, dared to promise him that everything would be alright. That with an artificial smile and a well-prepared act, with the wearing of a beautiful, happy mask, everything would wondrously turn out great. Now Lovino started to feel really nauseous. Leaving one hand on his ear, he moved the other one to his mouth... he was about to vomit... Having suppressed his gagging as well as he could, he covered both ears again and tried to fix his blurry gaze on a specific spot. He didn't want to be there anymore, or with other words, couldn't be there anymore... it was time to go home. "Call my brother..." he said quietly, fearing his own voice as usual. He was so tired as well... As soon as Feliciano got the call, he stormed out and showed up at the indicated address forty minutes later. He arrived out of breath after having run through the entire city in search for the café and immediately asked for Lovino, who was still in the cellar and listening to what were almost supplications coming from Antonio. Everyone was a bit surprised that the brother didn't even want to know what happened, but instead went straight to the cellar and knocked on the door. "Ve~ Brother, it's me, Feliciano." And if these were the magic words and some kind of "Open, Sesame", the lock bar was removed and Feliciano could enter. He spotted Lovino curled up on the floor, with his head between his knees, just as a countless number of times before. The older one didn't look up and had his hands on his ears, while his bangs were covering his eyes. Feliciano squatted in front of him, placing his warm hands and his forehead on top of his brother's. 《I'm here... let's go home.》 Feliciano said, using their secret way of communication. Lovino took a few deep breaths, nodded and stood up, with his brother's help, to finally get out of there. "Please excuse the trouble," said Feliciano politely, listening to the long, very long lecture from the café's owner and repeating one apology after another. "Just shut up already, you useless piece of shit," spat Lovino in an aggressive but also cold tone, surprising the owner, who stopped speaking for a few seconds. But before he could continue, the Italian started to drag his younger brother towards the exit. "How nice that we found a solution after all. Everything turned out alright, told you so," said Antonio, while they were about to reach the door. The Spaniard smiled from ear to ear and even had some dimples on his cheeks. Lovino shot him a gaze so full of despise that his eyes lost all of its shine. "You're a farce," he said to him and stepped out, without even bothering to look at his confused face. Feliciano had called a taxi. The driver warned him that the two-hour-ride to Lovino's house would be a bit expensive, but the younger twin didn't care what he had to pay as long as his brother was well. They got into the car and it drove off. Lovino kept hearing the driver's thoughts, but they were all about everyday problems, so he began pondering about what just happened... it hadn't been the first time, of course, and would surely not be the last. But it definitely was the first time for him to hear someone's heart scream like that and even worse... to see said someone show that spectacular smile and deceive everyone. "Why do people lie?" asked Lovino still in a quiet voice, watching the crowded street they were passing with indifferent eyes. With that expression on his face, it seemed as if he didn't belong to the rest of the world. Feliciano turned to him, unsure if he was just talking to himself or really asking him, but still replied, looking out of the window as well and trying to find the answer in the faces of the people outside. "Perhaps that makes everything easier to bear... lying helps us to confront our reality," he said. Lovino kept watching the people, peeking at Feliciano from time to time, who had forced himself to reveal each of his private secrets to not hurt him... the one who couldn't allow himself to lie in order to confront the world like all the others did.