Voice in the Silence

“Do you even understand what you’ve done?” Steven yells angrily, shoving Dave against the wall and gripping his shoulders tightly. “Go ahead, Steven,” the dancer thinks to himself. “Let it all out. Just don’t retreat into yourself.” “Can you imagine what I thought?” the musician continues, shaking Dave by the shoulders. “I blamed myself for everything—that I annoyed you, that I acted like, fuck, like some kind of weakling.” “You’re not a weakling,” Dave says. “It’s not your fault.” “I went to all your acquaintances,” Steven seems not to hear him. “No one had any idea where you disappeared to, and your agent blatantly lied. I felt it. I thought you were tired of coddling me and protecting me like a fucking princess. But I’m not a princess, damn it!” “Not a princess,” Dave confirms. “Don’t hold back, Steve.” Steven hates when people butcher his name. Dave gets his way—it becomes the last straw. He pushes the dancer against the wall with all his strength and sinks his teeth into his neck, closing them tightly. Dave exhales sharply, trying not to make a sound, so as not to scare or stop Steven, who needs to vent every last bit of his anger. There will almost certainly be a purple mark on the neck. So what. He deserves a harsher punishment. The musician bites with such ferocity it seems he might pierce the skin to the blood. Finally, he releases the tortured neck, and Dave swallows nervously. What punishment is coming next? The answer comes immediately. Steven grips his hardened cock, painfully pressing it through the denim. The hand moves along it with force, provoking two conflicting sensations in Dave: on one side, the fabric rubs unbearably against his tender skin; on the other, he missed Steven’s strong hands. “Do you not give a fuck about anything?” the steel-voiced musician asks, not letting him answer. He bites Dave’s lower lip, pressing against his mouth. Dave tastes metal as he reflexively drags his tongue across his lips, and Steven aggressively shoves it back in. He doesn’t allow Dave to take initiative, and Dave surrenders. His lips sting from the bites, the air is critically scarce, and the musician doesn’t show any sign of stopping. Dave hangs limply on his neck, wishing Steven would give him air and undo his pants. Finally, Steven pulls away, surveying Dave’s flushed face with satisfaction, and drops both hands to his crotch. Dave exhales as his hard cock is freed. Steven smirks and runs his hand along it, spreading the already emerged slick.

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Tanya finally decided to share the beginning of her work with Alena the day before their meeting. Alena eagerly started reading it right in the office while Marina clicked away at the keyboard with importance. It turned out to be so little that the girl was ready to cry out in disappointment. But she knew that asking for more was useless, and she wouldn’t get any additional material anytime soon. Alena wondered if this move had been planned in advance. What if Tanya wanted her to be even more desperate for this date? There was no other way to call it. Alena stood at the metro exit, glancing at the time. Tanya wasn’t late yet—she just preferred to arrive at the appointed place early. The sun was shining, and the snow sparkled beautifully on the few patches not covered with tiles. It was a little cold, Alena felt a tingle at the tip of her nose, and she really didn’t want to appear in front of Tanya, sniffling. A few minutes past the appointed time, Alena saw the fiery-red curls shining in the bright sunlight. Tanya hurried toward her, smiling widely. “Hi! Sorry I’m late,” she kissed Alena on the cheek, pressing her other hand against her. Alena was taken aback by such a greeting and muttered an indistinct hello in response. Tanya’s face was close to hers for only a few moments, but she managed to catch her gaze. Brown eyes with a mischievous squint, a straight nose, slightly chapped firm lips, and an almost healed piercing under the lower lip. “No, don’t even think about it,” Alena told herself. “You’re such a cutie,” Tanya said happily, looking at her with affection. “Am I?” Alena squeaked, her voice tight. “A real little sweetheart,” Tanya confirmed, almost ruffling her cheeks. At least, that’s what Alena thought. “Cold?” “No,” Alena lied skillfully, “but if we just stand here like this, we’ll both freeze.” “Okay. Shall we take a walk in the park? Haven’t been here in ages.” Alena was more than happy. Just the thought of sitting across from her at a table with nobody else around made her feel a little nervous. They talked about the business trip. Tanya shared details about work events, and Alena felt only a light relaxation from the easy conversation. In the café, to her own surprise, she didn’t feel awkward at all, and Tanya’s glances didn’t make her want to sink through the floor. A thought crossed her mind—does she even see me clearly? “I don’t think I’ve ever impressed anyone like this before,” Tanya smirked as soon as Alena reminded her of her ‘favor.’ “Is it really that impressive?” “Apparently, not just me,” Alena confirmed. “You really like it?” Tanya asked seriously. Alena was taken aback by her genuine bewilderment. “Of course. I feel like reading your bits is way more interesting than my stuff. All my whining and rambling just fade next to them.” “What are you talking about?” Tanya protested. “What you write is the heart of our book. The way you show the characters, their emotions, and the plot itself… you never know what’s coming next. And honestly, I even envy their relationship. That they have each other. I think we’ll have to share this story with them once the book’s done.” She paused, giving Alena a meaningful look. “But my scenes will probably have to be cut, so they don’t freak the guys out. And you’ll probably have to read them a few times to adapt them to your style, even though I tried to imitate yours.” “I’ll have to read them a few times because they’re better than any porn. Honestly, now I can’t watch regular porn the same way anymore.” “You watch porn with guys?” Tanya asked, a sly smile on her face. “Oh, don’t be surprised. Just because I’m not into guys doesn’t mean I can’t indulge in some gay porn occasionally. And, by the way, the fanfic is about guys anyway.” “That phenomenon really defies logic.” Alena shrugged. She never thought about it. She just did what she liked, without overanalyzing it. The conversation turned to the latest season of The Merge and the show as a whole. When it was time to say goodbye at the subway exit, Alena wanted to share the news that she had started writing an explicit scene herself. She kept working on it every evening, jotting down little paragraphs that she would read over and over, constantly revising. The work took a lot of time, but it gave her complete pleasure. “I have to admit, I’m working on something unusual,” she said mysteriously, lowering her eyes, though she could still feel Tanya’s attentive gaze. “Oh really? Another twist?” “I can’t say yet,” Alena replied, raising her eyes to meet Tanya’s focused stare. “I don’t even know when I’ll be able to say, or if I even will.” “You sure know how to intrigue someone. How am I supposed to sleep peacefully knowing you’re scheming behind my back?” “Alright,” the girl surrendered. “I’ll let you read it when I’m ready.” “Can’t wait,” Tanya smiled softly. “And I’m looking forward to our next meeting too. I didn’t get nearly enough time to admire you today.” Alena flushed and hoped it didn’t show on her face. “Me neither. Especially since you’re so dressed up today.” Tanya laughed. “Next time I’ll wear something lighter. Just as long as I don’t have to wait a month.” “You won’t,” Alena promised. Tanya, as usual, rested her hand on Alena’s cheek and leaned closer. For a moment, Alena thought she might actually kiss her, right on the lips. But Tanya kissed her cheek instead and traced it with her other hand, holding Alena’s face in her palms for a moment. When Tanya disappeared into the train, a voice inside Alena shouted, “No, not this! No more bi-crushes! Why me? Breaking the main rule of lesbians and gays… and falling for a bi.” Alena realized she had gotten herself into a big mess once again.