Battlefield

The message arrives during the sunny day. Not at night, when you expect a threat from every sound, nor in the morning, when you can still hope it was just a bad dream. But during the sunny day, right in the middle of a noisy market in the central square. Mikasa stands by the butcher's shop, drinking in the half-forgotten scents with pleasure. People jostle elbows, haggle over prices, and someone laughs too loudly. The city has long lived as if the war were an old, scary fairy tale told by elders to keep children from rushing outside the walls. Mikasa knows this all too well; she and Eren used to listen to the exact same stories. Not that it worked, but it was certainly worth a try. Her hand reaches for the transmitter automatically — a reflex honed over long years. Jean is on duty today; he probably wants to share yet another pinnacle of his own wit to cheer her up. He is likely still a little in love with her, Mikasa thinks with a touch of melancholy as she opens the message. Or perhaps he simply feels guilty, in a some strange way, for provoking Eren all the time... “Squad wiped out. Almost no survivors. Captain Levi—presumed dead.” She reads it slowly, syllable by syllable, as if it were a foreign language. Squad. Wiped out. No survivors. Captain Levi. Her brain refuses to process the word "dead" right away. It is a strange word, and it certainly has nothing to do with the Captain's fate — not now, and not in next forty years. Jean really needs to work on his sense of humor. There are only a few titans left outside the walls, the pathetic remnants of once-mighty armies that Eren, for some reason, did not restore. The new walls, however, match them: barely ten meters high, many trees stand taller. Just the thing for training raw recruits; even Levi, in his current condition, could handle it easily. Absolute nonsense... "What kind of nonsense is this, Kirstein?" Mikasa breathes out angrily, slamming the door of the headquarters, only to freeze as she looks into the tired, visibly bloodshot eyes of her comrade-in-arms. Jean wasn't one to cry over nothing. Especially not in front of her. "Only Wright and Denny made it back, two hours ago," Jean’s voice trembles imperceptibly, and Mikasa quickly runs through the names of the recruits who were supposed to go with the Captain. There were about twenty of them, she recalls. "They scattered and lost the Captain's trail, but since he still hasn't returned to the city, then... you know." The world around her sounds muffled, as if she has been trapped under thick glass. She sees Jean’s lips moving — he seems to be saying that it can not be that bad, that the Captain must survive. But Mikasa cannot hear him. Captain Levi had been on the brink of death so many times, yet he always returned: sometimes wounded, sometimes furious, sometimes even more silent and detached than usual, but he returned. Always. He was the one constant of the Scout Regiment, as unyielding as Wall Sina. Mikasa raises her eyes and looks at the sky beyond the spotlessly clean window. It is far too bright for such news. It should have been shrouded in a thick smoke of gray clouds — just like the day they all nearly lost each other. If only for the sake of propriety. A few minutes — or hours, she isn't sure — later, she is already heading toward the wall. Fragments of memories flash before her eyes. Levi inspecting the squad and barking out curtly: "You're alive — good job, I didn't expect much more from you." Levi looking at her thoughtfully: "Well, look at that, I didn't think you'd actually go through with it." Levi, with his usual deadpan expression, handing out beatings to clueless recruits who dared to smuggle a few bottles of wine into the barracks. And a bonus one for Annis, who had smiled sweetly and risked offering to share their feast with him. If there was one thing the Captain wouldn't be touching anytime soon, it was wine. Mikasa wouldn't either, for that matter... Annis did not come home today. "Your pass, miss Ackerman?" Mikasa indifferently hands the guard the document signed by Jean, which she had obtained only after a fierce argument. Had Annie been in his place, Mikasa wouldn't have held back. Though, Leonhart wouldn't bother lecturing her on the dangers beyond the walls or trying to shield her from anything; she, of all people, knew what one would do for the sake of reuniting with family, and a routine scout outing was trivial by comparison. Besides, Annie was indifferent to Mikasa, to say the very least... After all, Eren was right: sometimes, even genuine care can feel like heavy shackles. She will not repeat that mistake. Even if Levi asks her to kill him, she will do it without hesitation. But she is duty-bound to find him and give him a choice; it feels like that was exactly what Eren wanted for them. It begins to rain. Mud clings to her boots and to Lin's hooves; her cloak grows heavy, but Mikasa does not slow down. The remnants of Shido Village, where Denny last saw the Captain, are vast. The main thing is to find Levi before sunrise, before the titans gather; she does not want to fight them. Eren clearly didn't leave them here just to keep Mikasa from getting bored during the long nights. She rides into the village slowly, feeling her body instinctively shift into combat mode. On the surface, these are just abandoned houses — a familiar sight beyond the walls — and yet, something is off. Her intuition tells her so. She notices the first body, carefully covered by a soldier's cloak, on the threshold of a small building that looks like a local shop. Next to it is another, and another. Mikasa coldbloodedly counts up to eighteen. They are all here. Lying neatly, covered with cloaks, as if someone had already tended to their corpses. Strange. Judging by the concentration, it had been a brutal slaughter; in such a situation, you either fight or run for your life — a proper burial for comrades-in-arms is certainly out of the question. And what exactly happened here anyway? If they had been attacked by titans, there would be far fewer bodies left; those monsters' appetites hadn't waned in the slightest... Mikasa walks from one blood-stained body to the next, examining their faces and the insignia on their cloaks. But the Captain is not among them, and with every new body, the weight in her chest does not lift. Because with every step, the thought echoes more clearly: if he is not here among the dead, and not in the city among the living — it means he is out there somewhere, dying alone. And that thought chills her deeper than the autumn rain. No one deserves such a cruel fate, not even a lone wolf like Levi Ackerman. After all, he still has family.