Hysterics

ㅤ "How do you live with this!?" Sodia burst into the spacious inn room while Yuri had managed to find an hour or two to rest from the noisy company. They had agreed to meet with Flynn the next day and discuss the cooperation of the knights and guilds in protecting the townspeople in the absence of barriers until sufficiently strong walls could be erected, but apparently his detachment had arrived ahead of schedule. Yuri glanced at Sodia halfheartedly, lazily getting out of bed: this was not how he had intended to spend his precious time. Yuri said nothing, merely asking the question with his eyes. "I can't take this anymore!" Sodia began to walk quickly toward Yuri, but stopped halfway. "How can I get rid of this feeling?" "Didn't I tell you?" Yuri immediately understood what she meant. "You can only live with it." "But this…" Sodia tried to control herself, to find the right word, "is such a heavy burden." "You're luckier than me," he said, stepping closer to his guest. "I'm alive. And if it makes you feel any better," he leaned in to speak quietly right next to her ear, "I forgive you." Sodia definitely didn't get any better. Panicking, she retreated, her eyes darting around the room, searching for cover. Her breathing quickened, and fear filled her eyes. Suddenly, it dawned on her. "You must punish me!" Sodia unceremoniously took the whip from Rita's bed, which she'd left behind after the upgrade at the merchant's, and forcefully shoved it into Yuri's hand. "Punish me!" Yuri hadn't expected this turn of events, so he continued to stand there with the whip in his hand. And as if that weren't enough, Sodia began to bare her torso, kneeling, exposing her back. She didn't care about Yuri's forgiveness: she couldn't forgive herself. "Come on! Please!" She needed a shake-up. Yuri wasn't sure that it was exactly she needed, so he continued to look at her with confusion. Until the door opened and Flynn peered into the room. Yuri was sure he'd knocked, but no one noticed, lost in their own rambling thoughts. Flynn and Yuri's gazes met, but neither of them could find the words. Simply saying, "You got it all wrong, she was just trying to kill me," wouldn't cut it. Ultimately, Flynn was the first to snap, breaking the silent scene. "Sorry to interrupt…" he said, before closing door back, as if he hadn't fully comprehended what he'd just seen. Sodia was speechless and numb, whining silently. Yuri understood: although it was easier for him, he too had to justify himself to Flynn, which wasn't the most pleasant task. But that would be later. It was necessary to solve the problem in the present. "It seems you've punished yourself enough," he finally said, realizing how much the situation had worsened. Weakly, Yuri still held out hope for a favorable outcome. However, Sodia decided not to make things any easier for him, jumping up, pacing, clutching her head and hair, and throwing a tantrum. Her state was already quite fragile, both morally and mentally, and now her nervous system had completely given out. Tired of listening to her incoherent lamentations and self-flagellation, Yuri decided to resort to extreme measures. If she so desired to be punished, why not give her what she wanted? In his own way. Catching Sodia against the nearest wall, pressing her against it, Yuri kissed her. He did it with all his might, with passion: he knew no other way. Then he hovered over her, asking with a threatening, languid tone, his gaze piercing and confident: "Are you sure you want me to punish you?" Sodia fell silent in surprise. Yuri's gaze, his breath, and… his skill made Sodia feel such a powerful desire. So wrong. Her thoughts were so preoccupied with her completely confused feelings that she sank deep within herself, unable to see anything else. She darted her eyes wildly from side to side, catching thoughts flying by at a maddening speed. She couldn't catch a single one… After watching her like this for several minutes, Yuri exhaled and sat down on the bed, resting his chin on his hand, waiting for Sodia to come to her senses. He'd expected her to shut up, of course, but he hadn't expected such a strong reaction. 'I think I broke her…' Sodia's own desire came as a surprise. She would have liked to blame it on her body going crazy, succumbing to the weight of the overwhelming emotions. But the truth was, Yuri had always evoked a storm of emotions in her. No matter how much she condemned him, or accused him of negatively influencing Flynn… The leap from hatred to love had proven so simple. No, not that kind of love, sublime and pure. But to the dirty kind. To true punishment, as Yuri had said. To betrayal of heart and conscience. And her body responded most disgustingly to the spontaneous proposal. And most of all, she was afraid that… "And… And what if I want to be punished again?" Yuri chuckled. Sodia continued to surprise him, even amuse him. There was no trace of her hatred and contempt left. Just as there was no trace of her recent panic and hysteria. Only sincerity. And a certain degree of naivety. She was literally begging to be teased. "Then you'll have to become my girlfriend. And that's a punishment worse than you could ever imagine." "Monster!" Sodia agreed, shuddering. Then, exhausted and meek, she sat down next to Yuri. "What should I do?" she asked calmly, hoping for practical advice. "Maybe you should tell Flynn everything? You're not really interested in my opinion. And Flynn… will understand. And forgive." "Like he forgave you?" "If only…" Yuri snorted contemptuously. "He takes every opportunity to nag me and lecture me about how we could have found another way. But while we were searching, people would have died. And that's me. You're a different story. You're not a murderer. And, unlike me, you repent. The worst you'll get is a lecture. You've learned your lesson and I doubt you'll want to repeat it." When Sodia wasn't frowning, when she wasn't spewing venom, brimming with hatred and contempt, she even looked sweet and deceptively innocent. Not everyone would be able to see the hypocrisy and courage to step over morality behind such an appearance. But she lacked the courage to accept responsibility for her misdeeds. Her emotions were easily read on her concentrated face. "If you're scared, I can come with you," Yuri offered, quietly adding more to himself: "I'll be a lightning rod…" Sodia's gaze shifted sharply to him, filled with such naive hope that Yuri couldn't help but grin. "Hey…!" was all she managed to protest. Yuri stood up, offering her his hand. "Come on. I'll be right here." ㅤ