Just phantom

The signal marking the end of the time for the first game blended seamlessly with the final chord of the song. Another season of the Game had begun. In-ho switched off the music box shaped like a miniature stage with musicians, then, with indifference and a barely perceptible weariness, watched as the surviving players stared at each other in fear. A familiar sight—he already knew exactly how they would behave: they’d cry, scream, beg to go home. But the moment the guard showed them the coveted piggy bank, even the most ardent pacifists would change their minds, regardless of the fact that the price of that money was their own lives. Nothing ever changed: people were always the same in their desperate grasp for a chance to climb out of their own filth. In-ho finished the whiskey in his glass, deliberately ignoring the poisonous whisper of his inner voice reminding him that he had once been the same. Something unpleasant clawed at his chest, echoes of old memories. He didn’t want to remember the number 132 on his chest, didn’t want to recall how he had once been ready to trample over others to claim victory, to protect the one who now existed only as a phantom, a fragment of a happy, peaceful past when he had not yet lost a part of his soul. He sighed, trying to hide behind his mask, but he could already feel the memories swirling behind him, following his every step, refusing to let him go without mentally tormenting him first. For the last time, the Game Master cast a sullen glance at the players through the camera. He had no desire today to watch their hysteria. Ahead lay a grueling week and a meeting with unpleasant VIP guests. He decided to retreat to his room. Even if Il-nam had complaints later, it wouldn’t matter to In-ho. Still, the Game Master had enough energy to call the Officer, give instructions for tomorrow’s second game — if the players survived, of course — and only after that retreat to his room, bringing along the unfinished bottle of whiskey and the music box remote. The room greeted him with silence and solitude. In-ho was alone with his heart-wrenching thoughts. His gaze fell on the wall calendar, marking a fateful date. A date he wished he could forget, yet it was etched into his memory: the day he lost his beloved wife and his soul was forever shrouded in darkness. It seemed In-ho would never stop longing for her—for her voice, her smile, her gentle gaze, and warm touch. For years after Yun-hee’s death, he had realized that time didn’t heal anything. It never got easier, and probably never would. He still couldn’t bring himself to visit her grave. With a heavy sigh, he sank onto the bed and removed his mask, surrendering more and more to painful yet warm memories, where she was alive, happy, and radiant with joy. Yun-hee deserved to be remembered that way. Or perhaps it was easier for In-ho to remember her like that, cowardly as it might seem. It was easier to imagine, even for a moment, that she might walk into the room, touch him, smile, and gently kiss him, as always. Even if it was just a fleeting illusion… He closed his eyes, and the phantom scent of her favorite citrus-floral perfume enveloped him, carrying him further into memories… *** The café that Jun Ho had dragged him to one day during lunch greeted them with the pleasant aroma of coffee, warmth, and coziness. It had just opened, and the Hwang brothers were curious to try the coffee there. — Finally, I managed to drag you out somewhere for even a few minutes, — Jun Ho announced. — You’ve been disappearing to the police station almost until night for a couple of days now, — added the younger brother, glancing reproachfully at his older brother. — Sometimes I feel like I’ll forget your face if you keep vanishing like this, hyung. In Ho just smiled, looking at Jun Ho with a sly, knowing glance. — Oh, you say that like it’s not you who comes to the my job every day after school, — he retorted. Indeed, at the police station, everyone already knew Jun Ho, who often visited his older brother, and about his desire to follow in In Ho’s footsteps, so people addressed him as “future colleague.” Jun Ho loved learning all the details of police work, and he was fascinated by hearing about investigations. In Ho appreciated his brother’s desire to help people, but he worried that Jun Ho might become disappointed in the police or in some people, because he idealized the job too much… — Good thing I always know where to find and see my hyung, — Jun Ho replied. —Otherwise, you’d be buried in work completely. And you need a little break too, admit it, In Ho! In Ho chuckled softly, smiling warmly at Jun Ho. He really didn’t mind taking a little break from work. — Alright, I admit it, you win, — he surrendered. — Thanks for looking out for me, Jun Ho, — he added, his voice filled with genuine gratitude, and then affectionately ruffled his younger brother’s hair, as he always did when Jun Ho was smaller. Jun Ho snorted in annoyance and muttered quietly, “Hey! I’m not little anymore!” glaring at his older brother, which made In Ho break into another quiet, warm laugh. — Okay, let’s go order coffee already, — Jun Ho said, softened by In Ho’s laughter, and led him to the counter. In Ho had no idea yet just how fateful these few steps would turn out to be… — Good afternoon, gentlemen, — a pleasant, melodious female voice made the brothers turn their attention to the barista standing behind the counter. —What coffee would you like to order? Her light brown eyes looked at them with such kindness and friendliness, as if they weren’t just customers, but old friends. A soft smile played on her lips, making it impossible not to smile back. Her warmth seemed to envelop and comfort them, drawing attention just as much as the charm of her smile… — Sir, — Jun Ho’s words were interrupted by In Ho, who hadn’t noticed himself admiring the stranger while lost in thought. — What coffee will you have? In Ho hesitated for a moment, having completely missed when Jun Ho had placed his order and it was now his turn, but he quickly collected himself and replied: — Sorry, I was just… lost in thought, — he said, awkwardly clearing his throat. — I’ll have a black, strong espresso, please. — Alright, — the girl replied, once again flashing them her radiant smile. — Your order will be ready in a couple of minutes. With that, she walked away, and In Ho watched her leave, still captivated by her charm… — Hey, In Ho, — Jun Ho tugged at his brother’s hand, — are you okay? In Ho flinched, looked at his younger brother, and then, putting on the calmest expression he could muster, replied: — Of course I’m fine. Why would anything be wrong? Jun Ho squinted. — Because you’ve been staring since we got near that girl… — The younger Hwang brother trailed off, glancing at the stranger nearby who was busy making their coffee and too occupied to hear them. — Jun Ho, don’t even start, — In Ho said in a quiet but exasperated voice, noticing the corner of his brother’s lips twitch into a sly half-smile. When Jun Ho let out a soft chuckle, In Ho sighed, resigned, realizing no one was going to listen to him… — You have really good taste, hyung, —Jun Ho said softly, winking playfully, which made In Ho roll his eyes. — Jun Ho, please, — In Ho tried once more to calm his younger brother, but that only made him more amused. — I didn’t even hope anyone would ever catch your eye, —Jun Ho giggled, noticing the killer glare his brother shot at him. —Alright, I’ll be quiet now… In Ho sighed, not really trusting that promise. Meanwhile, the girl returned with their order. — Your order, — she said, handing them their coffee and a dessert that Jun Ho had apparently also ordered while In Ho was still lost in thoughts about the beautiful stranger. — Thank you very much, — Jun Ho said. — You’re welcome, — she replied with a smile. Jun Ho paused for a moment, then continued the conversation casually: — It’s really cozy and nice here. — Thank you, — she replied politely. — It’s your first time here, right? — Yes, — Jun Ho nodded. — But we already like it here a lot… Noticing the mischievous glint in his brother’s eyes, In Ho tensed — and rightly so. — Especially my brother, — Jun Ho continued with the most innocent look. — He loves coffee, and I think this place will become his favorite. Right, hyung? — he added, clearly prompting In Ho to join the conversation. In Ho flinched, feeling flustered again as the girl’s gaze returned to him while Jun Ho watched them with a knowing look. What a little devil! he thought. Not knowing what to say, he took a sip of coffee and finally replied: — Well, that’s quite possible — the coffee really is good… — Well, — she replied, giving him another enchanting smile, — we always welcome regulars… In Ho felt his embarrassment grow under her attention, and judging by Jun Ho’s sly grin and his own blushing cheeks, it even manifested physically. — That’s good, — In Ho answered awkwardly, then added, — Alright, we’ll go find a table so as not to disturb your work. Indeed, during their conversation, a new customer entered the café, so the Hwang brothers took their order to a table. — You’re blushing, — Jun Ho giggled, enjoying the sight of usually composed In Ho flustered. In Ho shot him a scorching look, then sighed wearily. — Someone said you weren’t little anymore, but you’re acting like a child. Jun Ho just snickered and then laughed, replying: — At least I’m not afraid to talk to girls. — I’m not afraid to talk to girls either! — In Ho protested. — Yeah? So much that you’re still not married, —Jun Ho teased warmly. — I just haven’t met the right girl, — In Ho tried to counter. — Well, now you have! — the younger exclaimed, and the older brother just snorted, sipping his coffee. — Come on, hyung, admit it — she really caught your eye, — Jun Ho persisted. In Ho’s gaze returned to the pretty barista, who continued working with new customers. Her movements were graceful, and she radiated positivity and charm. His gaze softened, a light smile appeared on his lips, and to Jun Ho, that was clearer than any words. — I was right, — the younger brother announced proudly, smiling victoriously. — You’re unbearable, — In Ho rolled his eyes — but without irritation, which made Jun Ho laugh. Perhaps, after all, he wasn’t entirely wrong… The next day, In Ho came to the same café, but this time without Jun Ho. His body craved a morning dose of caffeine before his shift, and the second, main reason was hope—hope that he could see the beautiful stranger again, who had not left his mind since yesterday. His hope was rewarded: she was at her post, which made In Ho very happy. But then he noticed a man nearby giving her unwanted attention, and judging by her forced smile and nervous glance, it was clear she didn’t appreciate it. In Ho sat on a nearby chair, not intervening yet, but staying alert, ready to step in at any moment. — Come on, beautiful, don’t be so uptight — give me your number, — the persistent man said. The girl calmly placed a cup of coffee in front of the rude client and replied: — I don’t give my phone number to strangers. I’m not interested in dating. Now, I’d like to continue my work. She turned away with firm determination to end the conversation and resume her work, but the insistent grip on her wrist stopped her, making her frown at such audacity. In Ho tensed as he watched. — Come on, a beauty like you can’t help but want to meet someone, — the persistent client clearly wasn’t going to give in so easily, and when the grip on the girl’s wrist only tightened as she tried to free herself, In Ho couldn’t take it anymore. — First of all, the girl clearly said she’s not interested, — In Ho’s icy voice made the man look at him. — Secondly, it’s very rude to invade someone’s personal space like that. The man opened his mouth, clearly intending to reply rudely, but then changed his mind, giving In Ho a scowl — either intimidated by his icy gaze or noticing the police uniform, wisely deciding not to escalate. Seizing the pause, the girl freed her hand from his grip, and he snorted in annoyance: — Fine, whatever, not like I really wanted it! There’ll be someone more compliant anyway! But when he saw In Ho’s gaze, now sparking with warning, he grumbled and hurried away with his coffee, muttering under his breath. In Ho relaxed; he didn’t want to start his day with a fight anyway. The girl exhaled in relief. — Thank you, — she said with a smile, — I thought he’d never leave me alone. In Ho blushed at her smile but returned it nonetheless. — It’s nothing, — he replied awkwardly, — it’s my job, and I just couldn’t do otherwise. She smiled again, giving him a curious, attentive look. — By the way, I remember you, — she suddenly said, a mischievous glint in her eyes. — You came with your brother yesterday. Did you like my coffee? — Well, you could say that, — In Ho replied, nervously brushing his hair back. She laughed kindly, her soft laughter wrapping pleasantly around him, and In Ho smiled again, soaking in the light she radiated. — So, the same order as yesterday, sir? — the stranger asked. — Yes, the same, — he said, smiling gently. She nodded and went to prepare it, and In Ho’s gaze lingered on her again: not only was she pleasant to look at, but also in her manner, which made him like her even more. A few minutes later, she returned with his order — and a small dessert. — This is a little gift for my rescuer, — she said when he looked at it questioningly. — No refusals allowed, I won’t be persuaded, resistance is futile! She said it with such conviction and confidence that In Ho couldn’t help but laugh warmly. — Well, then I have no choice but to accept your gratitude, — he said, smiling. — Exactly, — she nodded, smiling softly again. — Thank you once more, sir…? — In Ho, — he introduced himself, picking up on the questioning tone in her voice. — Just In Ho. — Thank you, In Ho, — the girl repeated, and the warmth in her gaze made something flutter in his chest again. — Always welcome, madam… — Yun Hee, just Yun Hee, — she giggled, extending her hand. — Nice to meet you. — Likewise, Yun Hee, — In Ho took her hand gently in a handshake. — By the way, a beautiful name— it suits you, — he gave an awkward but sincere compliment. — Thank you, — Yun Hee blushed for the first time in their conversation, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear. In Ho’s heart raced for some reason at that gesture. — It’s pleasant talking to you, — Yun Hee returned the compliment. — My brother should hear you, — In Ho smiled, trying to joke, — he thinks I can’t talk to girls. Yun Hee laughed. — I understand, younger brothers can be annoying sometimes, — she said, and In Ho smiled warmly; his little brother was indeed a persistent nuisance, though beloved. Then In Ho glanced at his watch: he realized, for the first time in many years, he was late for work. His gaze returned to those warm, beautiful light brown eyes, and for the first time, he didn’t care at all about being late. — Do you have to go already? — Yun Hee asked understandingly, noticing his glance at the time, and In Ho felt a pang of reluctance. — Yes, I’m already late for work, — he replied, finishing his now slightly cooled coffee. — Thank you for the delicious coffee and pleasant company. — Always welcome, — she said, watching him reluctantly get up. — And In Ho, — she called as he was about to leave, — I’ll be very glad to see you again, — she added, a slight blush coloring her cheeks. Her gentle, unassuming words warmed In Ho’s heart. Looking at this wonderful girl, at her warm smile, he realized he, too, would want to return here again and again. — I’d be glad to see you again too, — he replied, words spilling from his lips naturally. — Then, see you soon, — Yun Hee winked playfully, and In Ho smiled back, answering, — See you soon… Leaving the café, In Ho caught another glimpse of Yun Hee through the window, serving a new customer, and a dreamy smile spread across his face. Yes, he would definitely come back… *** Wedding. Probably the most thrilling event in anyone’s life, and for In Ho, it became just as thrilling as when Yun Hi said “yes” to his marriage proposal. Yun Hi looked stunning in her wedding dress, and her eyes, glowing with sincere happiness, made her even more beautiful. In Ho froze as he looked at her, still unable to fully comprehend that this amazing woman was now his wife. That now they would be together, forever… At the wedding banquet, Jun Ho sincerely and warmly embraces his older brother and says: — You’re practically glowing, hyung. In Ho hugs him back and replies: — Of course, I married the most beautiful woman in the world. Yun Hee, standing beside him, lightly taps him on the shoulder. — In Ho! — she says, blushing slightly, — Don’t embarrass me! In Ho just smiles at her in response. — What, it’s true, — he says in the most innocent tone, causing his wife to blush even more. — Congratulations from the bottom of my heart, brother, — Jun Ho smiles at the sweet scene between them and says. — Thanks, now it’s your turn, little brother, — adds the older brother with a sly smile. Jun Ho clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes playfully. — Oh, don’t turn into mom, — he replies, then, looking around conspiratorially, adds in a whisper: — She’s already getting on my nerves about you marrying before me. In Ho and Yun Hee laugh warmly at Jun Ho’s playful complaint. Jun Ho walks over to his brother’s wife. — Congratulations on officially joining the Hwan family, Yun Hee-nuna, — he says in a friendly manner, shaking his sister-in-law’s hand, — finally, this bore has grown up enough to take this step, — he adds jokingly, receiving a reproachful look from In Ho and a chuckle from Yun Hee. — Thank you, Jun Ho, — she replies, — I’m also happy to finally be married to the best man in my life, — Yun Hee gives In Ho a sly glance. — Yun Hee, — In Ho immediately reacts, blushing just like she did earlier. — What, it’s true, — Yun Hee innocently blinks at him, returning his teasing. But then her gaze fills with sincere affection. Jun Ho smiles again and then says: — Take good care of such a wonderful wife, hyung, — and then turns to his sister-in-law, — and don’t let him stray from the right path, nuna, he needs someone watching him closely. Yun Hee giggles, and In Ho scoffs. — Who’s talking, — he grumbles, but his lips curl into a slight smile. Jun Ho sticks his tongue out at his older brother like a child, to which In Ho rolls his eyes. — Enough, let’s wait for the newlyweds’ first dance! — Jun Ho waves at them and disappears into the crowd. — Sometimes he can be unbearable, — In Ho comments warmly. — But he loves you so much, — Yun Hee smiles in response, and In Ho doesn’t argue. Soon, it was time for the first wedding dance, and In Ho led his wife onto the dance floor, decorated with a wedding theme. The eyes of relatives and friends were fixed on them in joyful anticipation. As the first chord of the song played, Yun Hee froze for a moment, recognizing the melody of her favorite song, and then her eyes sparkled with sincere joy: — But we were supposed to have another, more fitting song, — she says, still in pleasant shock from her husband’s surprise. — Well, I made a few changes, — In Ho shrugs, — and if this song makes you happy, then it’s more than fitting, — he adds simply, as a fact, and then begins to lead her slowly in the dance. Fly me to the moon, Let me play among the stars… They spin together to the melody, completely absorbed in each other. The song gently envelops them, and Yun Hee’s eyes shine with genuine joy. Looking into them, In Ho truly felt ready to fly to the moon or to the stars, overwhelmed with happiness as if his heart could burst. In other words, hold my hand, In other words, darling, kiss me… Their fingers intertwine and squeeze tighter, the warmth of their palms becomes one. Yun Hee, light and weightless, like a cloud, giggles softly, spinning around her axis while holding her husband’s hand, only to press herself back against him again. This closeness intoxicates him, and enchanted, In Ho, unable to resist, gives his wife a soft kiss on her lips, which makes her smile… Fill my heart with song, And let me sing for evermore… Yun Hee, fully immersed in the melody of her favorite song, closes her eyes and begins to sing softly, and In Ho supports her. Their hearts are filled with love and light, trembling from the deep meaning of the song’s lyrics, as if it had been written just for the two of them… You are all I long for, All I worship and adore… Yun Hee looks at him with eyes full of love and adoration, and In Ho is ready to worship both her and all the gods for giving him this gaze. “I hold perfection in my hands,” In Ho thinks with admiration… In other words, please be true, In other words… — I love you, — In Ho and Yun Hee finish the line together, looking into each other’s eyes, then merge into a kiss amidst the thunderous applause and cheers of the guests. But they pay no attention to them, as the whole world has narrowed down to just the two of them. After the kiss, Yun Hee wraps her arms around In Ho’s neck and whispers excitedly into his ear: — Today, I’m the happiest woman in the world. — I’m the happiest too, today, — In Ho replies, embracing her back. — And I will do anything to keep it that way… Yun Hee presses herself closer to him, and they freeze, overwhelmed by the happiness of the moment… *** In Ho carefully opens the door to his apartment and quietly steps inside. It’s already late, and he doesn’t want to wake Yun Hee, especially since he had a dangerous incident at work today, something he still hasn’t figured out how to explain to her. In Ho doesn’t even turn on the lights, trying to quietly take off his outerwear, which he manages to do with some difficulty… — In Ho? Yun Hee’s call tells him that his mission to sneak in unnoticed has failed. And it’s no surprise that she wouldn’t be asleep until he returned from work. In Ho looks at Yun Hee, who stands in the doorway of the living room, bathed in the soft glow of a desk lamp, warm, homely, slightly sleepy — she must have dozed off waiting for him. — Why are you suffering in the dark? — Yun Hee walks over to the switch and turns on the light, and In Ho freezes. Yun Hee turns to him, her gaze first landing on his pale face, then on his forearm, and her frightened eyes say more than words ever could: she noticed everything and understood. — Hwang In Ho, — Yun Hee presses her lips together, pointing at the bloodstain on his shoulder, — don’t you dare tell me you were trying to hide this from me! In Ho rarely got to see his usually sweet and gentle wife turn into a fury. — I just didn’t want to worry you, — he tries to defend himself. Yun Hee walks up to him, her angry gaze burning into him. — As you can see, you failed, — she concludes, — thanks for at least coming home instead of going off somewhere to treat your wound so you wouldn’t “worry me”! In Ho touches her shoulder: — Yun Hee, — he says hesitantly, — I’m fine… — You’re hurt, In Ho! — Yun Hee snaps, — again! In Ho frowns, the pain from his injury and the fatigue hit him all at once, and maybe that’s why his response comes out a little sharper than he intended: — Because it’s part of being a cop! And you’re overreacting, Yun Hee! — Because I’ll never get used to it, In Ho! Tears fill Yun Hee’s eyes, and In Ho feels an unpleasant knot inside him: she’s scared for him, and instead of calming her down, he raised his voice. — Yun Hee… — he extends his arms toward her, and she collapses into his embrace, burying her face in his shoulder. — I hate your job, — she whispers through her sobs, — I know you’re saving people, and how important that is to you, but… I hate letting you go knowing you might not come back… I hate jumping at every phone call when you’re not home… I’m so afraid of losing you… — Shh… — he soothes her, gently stroking her back, — I’m here, and as long as I breathe, I’ll never leave you, I’ll never go anywhere… Yun Hee slowly calms down in his arms, then, looking into his eyes, she simply says: — Let’s go, you need to have that bandage done… In the living room, Yun Hee grabs the first aid kit, sits In Ho down in a chair, and starts bandaging his arm, sitting on his lap for convenience. Yun Hee isn’t very skilled, but she’s trying hard. — I’m sorry, — she says after a few minutes of silence, — it must hurt, and I shouldn’t have snapped at you. — And I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, — In Ho replies, — I sometimes forget how hard it is for you to be the wife of a cop. Yun Hee smiles, though her eyes still hold traces of tears. — All done, — she says, tying a knot at the end of the bandage, — patient, you’re free, — she jokes, finally calming down. But instead of letting her go, In Ho hugs Yun Hee tightly and pulls her close, to which she happily hugs him back. — I have the most beautiful wife in the world, — In Ho says, overwhelmed with sincere feelings. — Your best wife in the world will strangle you if you try to leave her a widow again, — Yun Hee grumbles, but her body has softened in proof that she’s thawed. In Ho laughs and kisses her gently on the top of her head. And then there’s only the soft glow of the lamp, the peacefulness of their reconciliation, the warmth of their embrace, and the gentle scent of her floral-citrus perfume that envelops them both… In that moment, it seemed to In Ho that this would always be how it was… *** In Ho nervously sat in the hospital corridor, waiting for Yun Hee to undergo additional tests and analysis. He couldn’t quite process what he had just heard a few moments ago… Liver cirrhosis… Subcompensation… It sounded like a joke to someone who didn’t even touch alcohol… And In Ho blamed himself for not noticing, for missing the warning signs like fatigue and loss of appetite, until he came home from work and found his wife unconscious on the floor… It was then that he first hated his job, because he wasn’t there when Yun Hee needed him most… — Mr. Hwang? The doctor’s voice pulled In Ho out of his thoughts, and he immediately stood up to face him. — So, what do you say, doctor? Does she have a chance? — he immediately asked the question that had been tormenting him, — please, tell me she does… — There’s a chance, — the doctor replied, — but… — he hesitated for a moment. — But? — In Ho hurried him, feeling the coldness inside him spreading. The doctor sighed and continued: — The repeat tests showed that your wife is pregnant. In Ho froze. Under normal circumstances, he would have been overjoyed by this news, but right now… The doctor’s face told him it wasn’t going to end well. — From your expression, I can see you understand where this conversation is going, — the doctor confirmed his suspicions. In Ho clenched his fists and slowly exhaled. A lump settled in his throat. — The pregnancy will cause the disease to progress faster, — In Ho said in a broken whisper. — Correct, — the doctor nodded, — and it will make full treatment impossible… Of course, we could wait until after the birth with a mild treatment and then find a donor, but I can’t guarantee that she’ll make it through the pregnancy… Everything inside him snapped. It felt like a death sentence. — We talked to Mrs. Hwang about… — the doctor stumbled over the words, as if it physically pained him to say the word “abortion” to such a shaken man. — but she stubbornly wants to keep the baby. If you, as her husband, could somehow influence her… In Ho exhaled sharply and rubbed his face. — I understand, — his voice was devoid of any color. — I’ll try… And with that, he turned and headed into the room where Yun Hee was waiting. He opened the door with a trembling hand, stepped inside, and saw his wife sitting there. Yun Hee was holding her clenched fists on her lap, biting her lip. Her usual lively and fiery gaze was now dimmed. Upon seeing her husband, she jumped up and, crying, rushed into his arms. — In Ho, — she sobbed, her voice breaking, — I won’t let them kill our baby… I won’t, I won’t, I won’t… — she repeated, trembling in hysteria in his embrace. — Forgive me… And In Ho couldn’t find the words. He couldn’t bring himself to bring up the conversation. He couldn’t break her heart even more… All he could do was hold her tighter as she wept uncontrollably in his arms… *** The heavy scent of medicine filled the hospital room, the beeping of the medical device breaking the silence over and over again. Wires from the machine and the IV drip were tangled around the bed, and amidst all this, there she was: his Yun Hee… A lump formed in In Ho’s throat as he looked at her, exhausted by both the illness and the pregnancy she had stubbornly insisted on keeping, despite all the doctors' pleas… — Yun Hee, — In Ho called softly, and she opened her eyes. — In Ho, — her eyes lit up at the sight of him, and a tired but still sincere smile bloomed on her lips, — you came… In Ho swallowed the lump in his throat, forcing a smile in return. He leaned down and kissed her forehead with love. — Of course, how could I not come? — he said. — How are you? — In Ho asked. — I feel a bit better today, — she answered, still smiling, — I even managed to feel our little one move today, — she added with genuine joy and tenderness, placing her hand on her now rather large belly. In Ho’s gaze shifted to Yun Hee’s stomach. He couldn’t fully share her excitement, for sometimes, deep down, a thought flashed in his mind — the baby was stealing the few remaining scraps of life left in Yun Hee. But still, he couldn’t suppress the sad smile when he touched Yun Hee’s belly and really felt the baby’s movement. — She greeted you! — Yun Hee marveled, and In Ho blinked a few times, trying to force back the tears that suddenly welled up. He stroked her belly a couple of times, took a deep breath, and then gathered himself to say what he had been meaning to say on his way here. — Yun Hee, — he said, — I’m going to have to leave for a while… Yun Hee looked at him carefully, as though trying to read his thoughts. — Where? — she asked anxiously. In Ho hesitated. The recent events flashed before his eyes: the strange stranger, the takjji, the slap, the three hundred thousand won he had used to pay for another month of Yun Hee’s hospital stay, and the scorching, even through his pants, business card with a circle, triangle, square, and a phone number on the back… A chance, a dangerous, risky chance, but a chance for Yun Hee and the baby to survive… — On a business trip, — In Ho answered smoothly. — But what about your work here? — Yun Hee asked. — They… — In Ho faltered under her gaze, — let me go… — he finished the sentence with a half-truth. They really did let him go. Forever… — Will there be any communication there? — Yun Hee continued to ask. — I don’t know, — he replied. “I don’t even know where I’ll end up,” the thought flashed in his mind, but In Ho quickly bit his tongue, not daring to say it aloud. — But if there is, I’ll definitely call you right away, — he promised quickly. — Yun Hee, there’s a lot of money to be made there, and we really need that now. Yun Hee took his hand in hers and squeezed it. — In Ho, — she said, — I won’t be able to stop you, will I? — she said more as a statement than a question, but her eyes carried a silent plea: “Don’t go! Stay!” In Ho raised her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. — It’s a big chance, Yun Hee, — he said. — Trust me, I’ll come back, I promise. But Yun Hee gripped his hand tightly, not wanting to let go. — In Ho, promise me you won’t get involved in anything dangerous because of me, — she said anxiously, her monitor beeping more frequently. — Shh, calm down, you can’t be stressed, — In Ho gently stroked her hand, which did seem to calm Yun Hee a little. — Everything will be fine. Then he leaned down and touched his lips to hers. — I have to go now, you’re tired, you need to rest, — In Ho said. — Also, Jun Ho wanted to see me. Lies… His brother had been deeply disappointed in him after the “loan” that cost In Ho his job… And it hurt… — Alright. See you soon, my love. Yun Hee believed him and looked at him with affection… And he wanted to run away as quickly as possible so he wouldn’t snap and tell her the whole truth: about the business card, the phone call to the unknown, and the meeting set for midnight… And so he hurried to leave… And that too hurt… And felt disgusting… — See you soon, my dear, — In Ho replied, giving Yun Hee one last loving look. After stepping out into the corridor, he leaned back against the wall and pulled out the business card, staring at it for a long time. In Ho wasn’t a fool. His police instincts screamed that something was off — there was no such thing as easy money, and free cheese only exists in a mousetrap. But if this was the only chance to save Yun Hee and the baby, whatever awaited him there… He would save them… *** He didn’t save her. He was too late. He couldn’t. She was gone. Now, only her black-and-white photograph stared back at him from the gravestone in the columbarium… And In Ho felt his world crumble to ash when Jun Ho showed it to him. His brother said that she died just two days before his return… If only he had killed those bastards from the final earlier, maybe he could have saved her… And why did Mr. Oh give him the knife so late… — Hyung, — Jun Ho placed a hand on In Ho’s shoulder, — I’m sorry… But you did everything you could. Nuna wouldn’t want you to blame yourself… In Ho stared at Yun Hee’s photograph, unable to look away. She was holding a bouquet of white roses, smiling happily. The photo was taken by In Ho during one of their anniversaries. The second photo, where they were together, was taken the same day. Yun Hee had stopped a passerby, asking them to take a picture of them together… “My husband’s a looker too, I want a picture with him!” — Yun Hee’s voice echoed in In Ho’s mind from that day… In Ho sighed. It was right for her to be here too, because the old In Ho had died along with Yun Hee… — She died alone… — In Ho whispered, his voice thick with emotion, to either himself or Jun Ho. — I wasn’t even there… But she didn’t want to leave. She held on until the very end… And he left her, thinking he could save her. Fool. Now he had forty-five and six billion worthless won, but Yun Hee and their shared days could never come back. All that was left for In Ho now was to hope that Yun Hee didn’t think he abandoned her to die alone, lying about a “business trip”… — Hyung… — Jun Ho tried again, gently trying to reach In Ho. — Go away, — In Ho spat out, not sure whether it was a request or an order. — Leave me alone. You shouldn’t be ruining your reputation by supporting a lost brother… — But I can’t! — Jun Ho protested. In Ho wanted to throw a venomous reply at him, something about how his younger brother had been handling this perfectly fine before his dismissal, but he had no strength left for that. Instead, he gave Jun Ho the coldest stare he could muster, and after a moment, Jun Ho, albeit reluctantly, left. Alone now, In Ho stayed next to the photograph and gently touched her lone picture, stroking it with his fingers. — I’m so sorry for everything, my love, — he whispered through the lump in his throat. — You deserved a better husband than me… A wetness slid down his cheek, but In Ho didn’t pay it any attention. This was the first and last time he’d allow himself to cry. — Goodbye, Yun Hee, — he said one last time, and then, turning, he slowly walked toward the side exit of the cemetery, determined not to cross paths with Jun Ho again… In Ho never returned to their apartment. It would have been too empty. It would have reminded him of her. The walls would have suffocated him from every side. Instead, In Ho rented the cheapest goshiwon. After dismissing yet another call from Jun Ho, In Ho set his phone to silent and opened a bottle of soju. It was strange that, even after the third bottle in a row, alcohol didn’t affect him. The irony — he couldn’t even get drunk and forget… In Ho decided to turn on the radio that was sitting nearby to fill the silence with some music… Fly me to the moon, Let me play among the stars… When the song echoed through the tiny room, In Ho felt like the entire universe was mocking him, but he didn’t have the strength to change the song. He reached for another serving of soju, letting the painful melody sink into him, as if punishing himself for not saving the most precious thing… Or maybe trying to create a phantom of her presence… After a while, whether from fatigue or the alcohol, In Ho finally drifted into sleep, hoping that everything that had happened to him was just a cruel nightmare, and he would wake up the next morning with Yun Hee by his side… But the ill-fated business card found under his door the next morning clearly signaled: his nightmare would never end… *** The memory fades, but the phantom scent of her perfume still lingers in In Ho’s nose. Yun Hee’s image disappears for a while, remaining in the distant past — a past he wants to destroy and preserve at the same time… In Ho sighs. The only things that have truly changed are the surroundings and the alcohol. He picks up the remote for the music box and presses the button, starting the melody once again… Fly me to the moon Let me play among the stars… And he will keep summoning the ghost of the past, over and over, just to feel alive for a few minutes, to remember that he once was real too. And he doesn’t care that all that remains now is a phantom… In other words, please be true In other words, I love you…