Archangel Lucifer Lectures

Hello, readers! I write, write and suddenly - ideas appear in my head that fall out of the plot. Here's one of them. The trouble is that such stories are invented and written for a long time and therefore I don't really like them. But they are very funny. Please do not judge strictly. Enjoy reading everyone!))) Lebanon, Kansas, Winchester bunker. January 2019. An ordinary morning, no different from the rest. The only difference is that the gloomy-gloomy Luci sits in the main hall and looks at the hunters arguing for an hour and Maya, who took the side of Sam (Lucifer was very pleased with this fact) and proves, in a raised voice, that he is right. "Yes, he was here! - the girl confidently poked her finger at the screen. - And I tell you that you both smoked and he ghosted you!!! Dean answered her in the same tone. Lucifer covered his ears with his hands and covered his eyes. The reason for the disagreement was the game (Seaport is called.). There you can buy ships and send them with cargo to other regions. Just in January 2019, and in general, strange ships appear in the game with the first snow. They are inferior neither to pick up themselves, nor contact them. Dean was somehow not particularly interested in cargo transportation, especially on water, but Sam and Maya played actively, creating a common company, and often argued where it was more profitable to send ships and what to do with intruders. The elder Winchester regretted only that he had forever lost the opportunity to sit at the computer on his important matters. A sensible thought appeared in Dinyakha's head: you need to buy yourself a separate computer, password it from Sammy and that's it. Business! It remains to print a bundle of money and give it to... sucker, gee-gee-gee. Or find a rich... um... sponsor. Dean carefully squinted at the serious Devil, who was trying to abstract himself from the dispute. Seeing Dean, Lutz grinned and showed him a fig, finally bringing down the hunter's dream to breed a winged man for money. "You have Cas for these purposes. Cheat on his health - mentally added a blonde to the hunter. "I'm not your buck can, Dinny." "That ship has surrendered to you! Lucik could not stand it. - Didn't find more good reasons to call us?! Dean was ready to nail it. Instead, he tempered his rage, went to the archangel and hissed through his teeth: "I didn't ask you to come. Called only Maya! - You hear, - the winged slightly pushed the interlocutor back, - because of you and Sam, I follow her! Sammy is more to blame though... you also excelled. - And added more severely: - Try not to be rude to me, otherwise... I will recoup in full on your brother, and after - on you. Got it, I hope? As for his brother, the Light-Bearing was not joking, and indeed had been on edge lately, so Dean Winchester silently nodded, not venturing to dare. Winged headed to the library. Read. In fact, he wanted to hide from the debaters and immerse himself in Zen. It was not possible to relax - the brunette appeared, showing with all her appearance that she did not intend to be here anymore. Winged invited her to sit next to him. - Well, it's just... just... - the girl in a fit of rage could not find the words that correctly describe such a person. - Tell me, Lucifer: how can you not notice the ship?! - Old age is no joy, the blond chuckled as he read a scroll taken from a shelf. The brunette glanced at her comrade in misfortune - he did not know what to do with himself. The archangel looked sadly at the girl. "What are we going to do, sun?" 'he asked, his head down on his folded hands. The contents of the scrolls were not at all attractive. Having studied everything and everyone, Lucifer had no idea where else to get knowledge. The emptiness infuriated him. Maya stroked her lover's hair and smacked the top of her head. - We will sit quietly, like mice... and read, "the brunette whispered in her ear. "Mice can't read. "We'll teach them! 'the brunette winked. That made me happy! Spending grace in the wind again... Eh! He said something else aloud: - Uh-huh. Let's turn Sam into a kitten, to the heap? 'the archangel suggested. "And we'll teach him how to attack mice. It will be fun. There was no talk of any fun. Lucifer was rather indignant. How can you be like that... um... rash? - Oh, - the girl responded. "Look at you. After all, the same! "Not true! 'returned the blond. In order not to quarrel completely, the archangel turned away from the brunette in order to avoid conflict. After a moment of silence, the brunette whispered: - Do you hear the hunters arguing? The luminous listened - deathly silence reigned in the bunker of the keepers of knowledge. "I don't like it at all," the girl said excitedly. "Where have they gone?" "How do I know?" Maya looked out into the corridor and listened. There is light in the house, but there are no owners. Have you gone somewhere? Hardly. The younger Winchester does not like parties and prefers to stay at home and look for things on the Internet. Dean, though, is an avid party animal. The brunette leaned her back against the wall and crossed her arms on her chest. Thought about it. Something was wrong. But what? The archangel went out into the corridor and frowned. Where could the hunters disappear if they did not plan to leave the house before morning? Lucifer's gaze fell on Sam's computer - the game with the unfortunate ship remained uncovered. What could happen to the stooge brothers, since neither Lutz nor Maya heard them?! "Winchesters, where are you?" - the girl called them, you never know, maybe hid somewhere? But from whom? From around the corner, behind the winged, a small kitten's head appeared. - Meow! he said plaintively. The brunette turned to him and squealed as she approached the cute creature and clapped. The kitten is brown, with the same eyes, shaggy. Maya took him in her arms and scratched the pubic. The kitten froze, covering his eyes. - When did the hunters get a pet? "I don't know," Lutz shrugged his shoulders, and mentally shouted to himself: "There is no time for a woman, but there is time for a menagerie in the trench." Unnatural for the Winchesters. Ahead was another "Meow!" and the winged in amazement turned to sound. A black kitten appeared from the shadow, with green, serious eyes and white front legs. "He reminds me of someone," Lucifer said, slyly squinting and scratching his chin. - Yeah. Me too, "the brunette nodded. There was something strange about these cute creatures. - Winchesters, are you here?! 'the girl called them again. - Meow!!! - both kittens responded clearly, and the girl almost dropped the brown cutie with fright. The brunette stared at Lucifer with incomprehension. - So! I did not understand humor! Why when I call the Winchesters, do these two respond?! And then Lucifer exploded with loud laughter and fell on his back, continuing to laugh. "Stop laughing, Luz! 'the girl barked at him. "And explain it to me! - Yes, because they are - and there are Winchesters! - through laughter stretched Light-bearing. Kittens hissed evil at him. - Wow-wow! Lucifer put his hands forward, defending himself. - I just clarified, guys... kittens! And again he burst into laughter. The black kitten did not like this and, without thinking twice, attacked the laughing blond and began to scratch his face. - Ah-ah-ah! Lucifer shouted, trying unsuccessfully to remove the angry animal. - Sorry-and-and, Dee-and-in! Kitten Sam, unlike his older brother, sat peacefully in Maya's arms and purred. - Sammy is good, - the girl spoke affectionately, continuing to stroke the kitten. Then she looked at Dean's efforts - the archangel was desperately fighting for his life. Finally, the wingman managed to push Dean aside and back to his feet. The archangel's face is all scratched, some scratches miraculously did not hurt his eyes. Lucifer shouted furiously at the black Dean, then slowly approached his beloved, stroking the shaggy kitten. The black kitten was alert. What is Lightbringer going to do with his brother? - You will attack me again, I will make a rug from your brother, and I will hand you over to the laboratory for experiments! Sammy meowed in fright, clutched his claws at the hands of a deadpan brunette, buried his face in her T-shirt. - Hush, Sammy. Everything is ok. Lucifer is just joking, - the girl coldly focused on the last word. "Lucifer won't hurt you or your big brother. I will control. Lucifer ponik. Killing cats was not part of his plans... But! These kittens are Vin-ches-te-ry - people he didn't like at all! At least 2/3 of them. But with Sam it was possible to agree. Probably. It remains to separate these two. Maya broke the blond's plans by taking Sam's kitten in her arms and going with him to the kitchen to feed. - Dina can't be touched, 'the girl sternly warned, before retreating behind the door. There now. The talkative option was taken away, the non-talkative torment was banned... Sadness, trouble... Although, how many times did Lutz break the prohibitions, m? Blond stared at Dean with a sly smile. - Well, Dinny, let's start the survival course of the Winchester kitten (KVkV)? Here's a freak! Dean arched his back and hissed. - Oh, scared! winged pretended to be scared. - You need a KVkV course! Sammy passed it, by the way, while he was sitting with me in the cage, and after that too... He showed himself well, I am madly proud of him. Now it's your turn, Belkin! 'the winged one declared happily and laughed with his beloved, mad laugh. Dean shook his head. It is a pity that he is now an animal, not a person, otherwise he would have beaten him to hell. Seeing him rubbing his hands in preparation for his plan, the elder Winchester had to come to terms with his fate. - What a bad kitten you are, Dean! Lucifer chided. - have to spank you!! The black kitten looked blond and ran away. - Coward-ishka! Lutz shouted after him. Dean Winchester stopped, turned around and crept close to the guest room the Devil was in at the moment. "Knew you were coming back, Belkin," Lucifer lay on the bed, on his back, with his hands folded under his head. Winged continued: - You weakling, hunter. Easily succumb to provocations. Well, nothing. I will correct this misunderstanding. For Sammy's sake. Dean listened to the winged man, leaving cover long ago. Lucifer snorted at his interlocutor without a shadow of mockery. "Why are you silent?" Meow something back, otherwise I'm crucified here like a fool in front of a concrete wall. "Meow," Dean said dryly, keeping his eyes fixed on Lucifer lying peacefully. "Thank you for the good meow, hunter. There was silence in the room. Dean was washing, and Lucifer was slowly falling asleep. How to return the true appearance to the hunters, the archangel did not know. Maya and Sammy went somewhere... Blond shielded his eyes and shook his head slightly. At least she would not feed him, for joy, otherwise it will turn out from wessel... shaggy kolobok. -Ha ha ha! - for no reason or nothing, the winged man laughed at the top of his voice, turning to his right side and holding his stomach. Sammy's kolobok! Dean twitched at such a statement and looked at Lutz in fright. He felt a glance at himself and, turning his head a little towards him, explained: - If your brother gets excited, it will become round, like a kolobok! So go and control it. I don't need a fat Wessel. The image will spoil. Having said this, the archangel turned away from Dean's black kitten and, quietly laughing a couple of times, fell asleep. "Here's a goat! senior Winchester thought and ran to find Sam. "I hope they didn't break my brother?" Driven by this disturbing thought, the elder Winchester approached the kitchen silently. He stopped and listened. It was suspiciously quiet. Panic gradually engulfed the small cat body, the pupils widened in horror, and the heart beat wildly. Dean looked around. "Where is my brother?" 'he thought. Meow! Maya immediately appeared, with a brown kitten in her arms and shouted displeased at the black one. - Here comes the elder Winchester! - the brunette announced sadly and turned to the brown kitten: - You shouldn't have cried, Sammy! Your brother's all right! Dean was taken aback: Was Sammy crying?! Dean stared at the girl incomprehensibly. "What are you looking at me for?" 'the girl was indignant. "It's not my fault you're hanging around where you don't know! A couple of moments later, the brunette added in a stern voice: - Yes, Sammy almost cried when he didn't see you. He ate almost nothing because of the worries! Where have you been, Dean Winchester?! The black kitten put his head down. Poor brother of mine, thought Dean. "How could I leave you?" Maya noticed a change in the kitten's eyes. - Now I see how guilt burns you from the inside. Don't leave your brother alone, dunce Dean! "Meow," the elder Winchester replied a little audibly. - Go, woe-brother. Go, - the brunette turned around and walked confidently towards the plaintively meowing Sam. Dean Winchester wanted to immediately run to his younger brother, who meows so plaintively that his heart bleeds. But the guilt turned out to be stronger and, it is unclear why, directed the black kitten back to Lucifer. The elder Winchester reached the room with the winged one sleeping there. Myavknul - zero attention; fluttered louder - Lutz was both asleep and asleep. Chernysh trudged towards his room. - Do you think I deliberately detained you here? - like thunder in the middle of a clear sky, the voice of the Fallen sounded. Dean froze, hesitating to turn to his interlocutor. "Fear strikes you a mile away. Fear for my brother, - the archangel continued to say, looking at his nails, then at the kitten. "I felt that way before I was banished. Now, I don't care what's going on with my brothers. However, I worry more about your little brother than about the heavenly brotherhood. You don't know why, Dinny? Lucifer knew the answer to his question perfectly well. I just wanted to attract the attention of Dean Winchester, and so that he turned his face, and not... tail. - You didn't die there, did you? Lutz inquired. "Don't make Sam cry again. He is very vulnerable to me. The elder Winchester shook his head and turned to face the wingman. "Meow," Dean said with hatred in intonation. "Why are you indignant?" exclaimed the archangel. - It's not my fault that you turned into kittens! And the light-bearing as if the current struck. He became numb on the spot after realising WHAT he had done. - Kapets... the archangel whispered, and instantly moved to Maya. Dean was left alone with himself. - Honey, I'm back! Lucik reported happily, appearing in the kitchen. Not finding anyone there, frowned. Where are you? After a couple of minutes, I called them again. - My sunshine, where did you hide from me? It makes no sense to play this game - I will find you anyway. I will torture the first, half to death, and I will squeeze the second! Do you hear? Silence in response. Lucifer sighed. Fucking search! Not home, but the Bermuda Triangle, in miniature! He left one, lost two. Get hurt! Poor Dean... Dean?! I remembered that I left a black kitten alone near my room and moved to him. "Where have you gone?" - blond with horror examined every centimeter of the corridor and the room, but the kitten never found it. - Hey! The archangel somehow folded his wings behind his back and listened. Silence and twilight. He clapped his hands a couple of times - the light was on all over the corridor. Now this area is the most lit. "Where have you gone?" - blond with horror examined every centimeter of the corridor and the room, but the kitten never found it. - Hey! The archangel somehow folded his wings behind his back and listened. Silence and twilight. He clapped his hands a couple of times - the light was on all over the corridor. Now this area is the most lit. - Where are you, stubborn? 'the blond barked. Silence in response. Dean, as luck would have it, did not respond and Lucifer began to slowly boil. "I should have nailed you earlier when you were a hunter," added the winged one in the heat of the moment. The elder Winchester trembled at such words, hiding in a nightstand in Lucifer's room, hesitating to show himself. However, the arch turned out to be... smarter. And trickier. Suddenly, the bedside table door opened, the hand grabbed the kitten by the scruff of the neck and pulled it out into the light. "Here you are. Dean Winchester swallowed nervously. While Lucifer was considering what to do with the unlucky kitten, a serious Maya appeared behind him and, slapping the arch on the shoulder, made him turn face. Winged raised his eyebrows up, not understanding what the girl wanted. - Luci! Give me Dean! Without waiting for an answer, she herself took the black kitten from the taken-aback archangel and left. Lucifer grunted, seeing her off and biting his lower lip. Arrogance of the level of God directly. Well, nothing, later the winged one will win back. At all and for all. While I decided to sleep and headed to my room. Two hours later, the brunette returned to Lutz, lay down quietly and pressed her back. Blond felt her, turned his face and pressed his beloved to himself, smacking his temple. "My dear," he whispered in her ear, burying his nose in his hair. Where are the Winchesters? "I decided to make them. Both. Tired of their meowing. Lucifer turned the girl's face and looked at her in surprise. -Are you serious?! The brunette rolled her eyes and laughed, Lutz still looked at her with misunderstood eyes. - Well, really! Where are the Winchesters?! - In the refrigerator. Sam on the top shelf (stew with vegetables), Dean on the bottom (meat soup, in a small saucepan). "Stop scoffing! Maya was offended. -there now! Why can you joke, and I'm inferior? "Because I am the Devil, my dear. You can't do without jokes. He gave his beloved a fiery kiss on the lips. - Oh well, 'the brunette took pity. "Your hunters are alive. They sleep. - In the fridge?! "No," the girl tapped her forehead with a winged finger, and he smiled innocently. "Everyone in their room is napping. - What principled hunters... - Yep, 'the brunette yawned, got comfortable on the archangel's chest and fell asleep. In the morning we went to wake up the little dormouse. Chernysh was found immediately - in his room of nozzles without rear... paws. We checked the room of the tent - no one, went into the kitchen - it is also empty there. Then they moved to the main hall - no... - Klatz-klatz! What is it? Where? - Klatz-klatz! heard again behind the winged. The couple slowly turned to the noise... and the following dawned: a shaggy brown kitten, with a smart look, pressed his paws on the keyboard and searched for something on the Internet. He was not at all embarrassed by the lack of toes. Although you are a man, even though you are a beast, you are still Winchester! But with Lucifer there was another attack of laughter, which dumped him on his back. Maya shook her head as she watched her lover. - Kotan-botan! shouted at the top of his voice winged through laughter. Sam looked away from the laptop, pressed his ears and timidly shrieked: - Meow... Maya helped the laughing blond man up and pushed him into the hallway. "I'll never forget you like that, Sammy! - the last thing the younger Winchester heard before Lutz disappeared behind the door, continuing to laugh loudly. Having laughed enough, the archangel seriously wondered: how to return the hunters to their former appearance? The answer literally came by itself - they rang the doorbell. Lucifer opened... He covered his face with his hand and shook his head. Only you were missing here! Blond decided not to stand on ceremony with such a guest. - What did you forget in Kansas? 'asked the arch immediately, arms crossed. - Lord, since we are friends now, let me solve your problem. Friendly, so to speak. Why did this... demon decide that he and the Devil are friends?! Winged remembered several creatures very hostile to him... Miranda, Esmyralda, Jergenes, Solise... And Sammitas? It is still unclear what kind of demon, and indeed, is he a demon? - Lord, - the demon decided to remind of his presence. What are you thinking? Lucifer was apparently too deep in his thoughts, because he did not hear him. Tas did not dare to go ahead, so he patiently waited for the winged one to come to his senses and let him into the house, or drive him home. "Will you allow it?" once again the demon of Blood gave voice. Lucifer came to his senses, shook his head and stared at the demon. - H-what? he replied in confusion. - Lord, are you all right? You are pale. Lucifer looked in the mirror - from there a gray face looked at him. Yeah... a miserable sight. -Let me help you. Please. The archangel sighed and with an inviting gesture allowed the demon to enter the house. Later it turned out that Lutz was a little sick, against a nervous background, and spent the rest of the evening lying in bed. Maya gave the demon the last instructions and went to the winged one, to heal. Approx. author: the events of the evening and the next day will be described in the form of a diary-report, which will be kept by Sammitas himself, starting at 21:00. So, 9 p.m. Suddenly appeared before Sam - he startled his eyes, jumped off the table and ran away. Just came, the operation has already failed. Glitter. 21:10. Looking for a namesake, ran into Dean. Almost rude from this fighting kitten! Ask Lütz for a surcharge or what? You never know, I will lose my eyes, with what means will I restore them? 21:15. I'm sitting in ambush, in the toilet. Almost burned the diary (ACCIDENTALLY!). 21:25. Dean realised I was keeping a record of this hunt. I tried to break them - it didn't work out. Here's a burdock! 21:45. Dean and Sam conspired against me. Are you serious? 22:00. I had records. Goats... I had to run after them. 23:00. Caught and put Sam in a bird cage. Waiting for Dean. 23:30. Dean rushed and began to try to free his brother. I stand on the sidelines, film it and have a quiet laugh. Found someone to deceive! 00:30. Slept escape. I had to catch Sam again. 01:30. Caught both! Ha ha ha! Try to escape now! 02:00. And what do you think? The Winchesters escaped! 03:30. Didn't think catching kittens was that HARD! I wound up. 04:00. I saw kittens at the end of the corridor. EMBITTERED kittens! They're coming to me. A-A-A!!! 06:00. I sit in captivity and write on the floor. Little pot-bellied thing, I'll get to you! 07:30. I got out to freedom, found my mobile. I threw off the previously filmed video on Instagram. 08:00. Lucifer woke up. Today he looked better than yesterday. Love can cure any disease. 09:00. Luminous delivered both Winchesters vividly into an enchanted cage, yelled at me and said I was the brake. Thanks, mlyn. 10:00. Maya got up and Lucik went to breakfast with her. 11:00. I cook the elixir of transformation into a person. Dean and Sam are loudly meowing (protesting). 12:00. The elixir is ready. Sam sneezed and Dean snorted. 12:30. I tried to pour liquid into the throats of cats - it did not work. Crowley called for help. 13:00. Crowley, hearing from my mouth the story of the stooge brothers, laughed. A little later he said that he had never seen a squirrel and an elk in the guise of kittens in his life. I took a photo with them as a keepsake. 14:00. Crowley did not help, or rather, slipped away when he took a picture of lovely creatures. I had to call Lucifer. Got a slap in the face. 15:00. The kittens willingly drank the elixir. Waiting for the effect. 17:00. Winchesters again Winchesters! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Luz and Maya are fine. This concludes my diary report. I will save these records as memory. To be continued...