Traces of Hope

Crystal went out for a walk one afternoon before Jewell was due to get home. She kept a close eye on her watch, knowing Jewell would let her have it for leaving Sheena alone just so she could get some fresh air. Although the air was nippy, it felt refreshing. She needed the exercise, anyway. Unable to lose much weight without a serious amount of long-term hunger, she settled for at least not gaining any more. She watched what she ate and exercised as regularly as she could, only allowing herself one or two days a week for sweet treats. Pulling her jacket tighter around her, she reflected on the night before. Jewell had finally apologized for hitting her, much to her surprise, and they had talked extensively. Things seemed a whole lot better by the time they were settling down for the night. However, after they made one last check on Sheena and turned in, Crystal went to initiate sex, knowing that Jewell wouldn’t do so on her own, and was met with the usual excuses and rejection. “Crystal, I’m tired. It’s been a long day. Can’t this wait?” Fed up with being pushed away, she responded, “No, it can’t wait. Therefore, I shall check out this escort service Kaori told me about.” “The hell you will,” Jewell growled through the darkness. “Well, if I can’t have sex with you and if I can’t have sex with others, who can I have sex with, Jewell? No one?” Jewell remained silent. “Forget it. I’m putting my foot down now, and that means you’re not going to get your way on this one, so I don’t want to hear any complaints. And displays of jealousy aren’t going to make me feel guilty either, so don’t even think of trying to put any guilt trips on me.” “Oh, I won’t be jealous, Crystal. I’ll be furious if I ever find out you cheated on me.” “But why? I just don’t understand. Why should you be furious? We’re only friends.” “That’s not what the marriage certificate says.” “No, but that’s what our lifestyle says. Besides, a marriage certificate is just a piece of paper.” After a moment of silence, Crystal said, “I’ll be your friend if you want to be friends, but don’t even think of preventing me from seeing others.” The jangling of the phone cut off any response that may have come from Jewell. Business as usual,Crystal thought to herself. And that’s exactly what it was. “They need me to get to the station right away,” Jewell said, snapping on the light and beginning to dress. “There’ve been some homicides in South Springfield that seem to be connected.” “I’ve been hearing about it on the news.” “They just found the third girl. Her body was dumped in the woods in the park, just like the others.” “What does the killer do, rob them?” asked Crystal. “Robbery doesn’t appear to be the motive. All the victims have been raped and strangled.” “How do you know it’s the work of the same culprit?” “The rope used to strangle them. There’s always this strange black grease on the victims' clothing as well. We think the murderer may be some sort of mechanic,” Jewell said as she pulled on a pair of jeans and a black sweater. Then she noticed the odd look on Crystal’s face. “What is it, Crystal? Hurry up. I gotta go.” “I… nothing. It’s nothing.” “You sure?” Crystal’s brows pulled together, deep in thought. “Maybe this is just a coincidence, but I had grease on my shirt afterward, you know?” “Did you?” She nodded. “He raped me in the backseat of his car, which smelled funny.” “Funny how?” “I don’t know. There was a bunch of strange chemicals. All I know for sure is that my shirt was smeared with black grease, and I remember there were smudges of grease all over the interior of the car, too. The park they were dumped in—I assume you mean Forest Park?” Jewell nodded, considering what Crystal was saying. “Well, all I can say is that we’re doing our best in the matter. I’ll make sure the alarm is activated on my way out.” Jewell was gone without so much as an "I love you." They seemed to have stopped saying that to each other quite a while ago. Crystal lay in the darkness of the large house for a while, listening to the wind moan outside. What appeared to be such a peaceful and picturesque place during the daytime seemed ominous at night—especially when Jewell had to go to the police station or the FBI’s field office. Oh, don’t be a sissy,Crystal told herself. Yet she still felt a sense of evil. Logically, she knew she shouldn’t feel that way in the middle of a cold, dark night in the town she was in, with an elite alarm system installed, but she did. Her eyes scanned the darkness around her. Evil seemed to lurk in every shape and shadow within the room. Sheena began to fuss. Crystal lay there hoping she would stop and fall back asleep, but as was usually the case, the child’s moans and groans escalated into loud cries. Crystal got up and went to her. “Are you ever going to learn to sleep through the night?” she said as she picked the baby up and proceeded downstairs. “You hurt my ears when you scream like that.” Sheena didn’t get as hysterical as she used to when Crystal picked her up, though she still squirmed uncomfortably, always preferring to be in Jewell’s arms. “Shhh, I know you don’t like me very much, but you want to fill that tummy of yours, don’t you?” The child’s wails turned to hiccup-like sobs. “Then just hang in there a minute and try to be patient while I fetch your bottle.”

After the baby was fed and changed, Crystal drowsily slid back into bed. She looked over longingly at the empty space that Jewell normally filled. Despite the problems they had, Crystal couldn’t imagine not leaning against the strong body that kept her warm throughout the night. She was certain that she still loved Jewell, and she was not yet ready to give up hope. To her, there were enough traces of hope to make her want to hang on. She only wished that Jewell would put as much effort into salvaging the marriage as she did. It hurt to feel that Jewell was indifferent toward her and their whole relationship, so she tried not to think about it. They’d been through so much together that Crystal had to believe a part of Jewell still loved her and held out hope of things improving. They said nothing stayed the same forever, so that must mean one of two things: things would either get better or they would get worse. A shrill sound suddenly pierced the darkness, causing Crystal to bolt upright. She glanced frantically around. The burglar alarm was going off! She jumped out of bed and grabbed her robe, knowing a squad car would automatically be dispatched within minutes. Meanwhile, not knowing if a homicidal maniac was poised nearby with an axe, she ran and hid with Sheena in the nursery closet. If there really was an axe-wielding psycho in the house, would he find her before the police arrived? Maybe so. After all, wasn’t a closet one of the first places a person usually hid? Crystal’s heart hammered inside her chest so hard that she was afraid it could be heard throughout the entire house. It was as if her wild heartbeat would betray her! Each minute that ticked by felt like an eternity. Sheena began to cry. “No, no. Shhh!” whispered Crystal. Unlike ever before when she tried to quiet Sheena, the baby went silent, as if somehow sensing the potential danger. Pounding on the front door cut through the shrill sound of the alarm. Crystal dared to place Sheena down on the closet floor to brave the trip to the front door, hoping she’d survive it. She could see lights flashing on the quiet, sleepy street as she passed the master bedroom and caught a glimpse out the window. She flipped the stairwell light on, flew down the stairs, threw the deadbolt, and flung the door open. She nearly fainted with relief at the sight of the officers on the front stoop. “Oh, I am so, so glad to see you!” Crystal exhaled, opening the screen door to let them in. “Is everything okay, ma’am?” asked one of the officers, speaking loudly over the alarm. “I don’t know,” Crystal replied. “Should I go deactivate the alarm?” “Yes, ma’am,” said the other officer. The officers followed her into the kitchen. The panel was just inside the back door because that was the entrance they usually used. At last, a deep silence fell over the house. While the male officer went to check the doors and windows, Crystal spoke with the female officer. “Jewell Wallace—she’s an FBI agent. We live here together with Sheena—Sheena!” “Who’s Sheena?” asked the cop. “Our baby. She’s upstairs in the closet where I left her. We were hiding in there until you showed up.” Crystal and the officer went upstairs to find that Sheena had fallen asleep on the closet floor. “What a cutie,” said the policewoman. “Yeah,” Crystal said with a smile, placing the sleeping infant in her crib before heading back downstairs. “Jewell was called to the station on account of the murders going on in Springfield.” The officer, a pleasant-looking woman in her late twenties or early thirties, nodded. “Any idea when she’ll be back?” Crystal shook her head as the woman’s partner returned from his search. The two women looked at him expectantly. “One of the basement windows appears to have been tampered with, I’m afraid. Any idea who may want to break in?” Again, Crystal shook her head. “No.” She called Jewell on her cell phone and let her speak with the male officer, who explained the situation in further detail. A moment later, the man handed the phone back to Crystal. “She’ll be right home,” he said. Jewell seemed rather shaken up when she returned five minutes later. “Thank God you’re okay. Where’s Sheena?” “She’s fine,” Crystal told her. “Sound asleep. We hid out in her closet together until the police got here.” “It’s rather unusual for someone to be breaking into a home in this town, especially at this hour,” said Jewell. “Makes me wonder if it could’ve been one of the neighbors who saw me leave.” Jewell hugged Crystal before investigating the basement window with one of the officers. Photos and fingerprints were taken, but nothing solid turned up. Whoever had tried to break in had worn gloves. The six homeowners who could view the driveway were questioned, but nobody seemed to know a thing. Except for one woman. She was an older woman who lived next door and often tended her garden. Crystal and Jewell had never actually met her, though they had often exchanged hellos in the backyard. She was a sixty-seven-year-old retired widow who reported seeing a young man with brown hair walking down and around the circular dead-end street. She said he looked out of place, but she hadn’t thought much of it, assuming he was simply lost. In light of the attempted break-in, Jewell had Crystal and the baby stay at her mother’s house during the daytime. “At least for a while,” she explained one evening as they sat sipping decaffeinated cappuccino. “Until we know if it was a random hit or if it could be someone who knows me.” “Someone who knows you?” Crystal asked. Jewell nodded. “In my business, you tend to make a lot of enemies. It could be someone I helped put away who’s back on the streets. In fact, that's the most likely case, because midnight isn’t the time to go breaking into houses.” “You know, there have been times when I’ve felt like I was being watched. Like when I go out walking. I always attributed it to anyone who happened to be looking out their window, but I didn’t think much of it until now.” “Well, at night we’re going to be extra careful. Hopefully, whoever it is won’t return, but if they do, I’ll make sure I’m there to catch them.” “Just do it before they kill Sheena and possibly us, too.” “That’s the idea,” Jewell said with a reassuring smile. “That’s why there are now bars on the basement windows. The only way in is through the first-floor doors and windows, which now have bells attached to them. As light a sleeper as I am, I’ll hear anyone coming in and have plenty of time to grab my gun.” They moved Sheena’s crib into their bedroom, farthest from the door. That way, if anyone did break in, they would have a harder time snatching her up to use as a hostage. Jewell took Crystal to a firing range and taught her how to shoot. “I can’t be with you and Sheena round the clock, so it’s important you learn to defend yourself.” Jewell even set up mats in the basement and taught Crystal basic self-defense and karate. “It’s hopeless,” Crystal gasped as she lay sprawled on the mat after one session. “If the person’s trained like you are, what chance do I have?” “More than if you knew nothing at all,” Jewell said, pulling Crystal to her feet. “And besides, not everyone’s as big as I am or as knowledgeable when it comes to ass-kicking.” “I thought I was supposed to defend and run, not stay and kick ass.” “Actually, you’re supposed to kill, Crystal. If someone’s come to harm you, they’re more than likely going to kill you, so you'd better beat them to it. If they get a second chance to come back and finish what they started, they will. This is why it’s important to kill and not maim, if you can.”

Weeks passed without incident. In time, they began to assume the break-in had been a random attempt after all. Jewell’s mom, along with Pam, Kaori, and Mathew, attended Sheena’s first birthday party one frigid afternoon. Kaori brought her boyfriend Roy, and Mathew brought his girlfriend May. Crystal was delighted to see how happy Kaori and Mathew seemed with their newfound loves. Although the fireplace was ablaze with a roaring fire, it couldn’t erase the chill in the air. Guests visited for a few hours and enjoyed cake, ice cream, and hot cocoa after Crystal opened Sheena’s gifts. The gifts consisted of toys and clothes, and there was even a huge box of diapers from Jewell’s mom. “Oh, thank you all so very much,” Crystal said excitedly. “These are wonderful gifts.” “We’ve got to move someplace warmer,” Crystal said, entering the kitchen a short while later, where Jewell was putting leftovers away. Jewell chuckled. “I was just thinking that myself. Maybe I can get a transfer down to Florida. We don’t need a house this big, anyway.” “No, don’t go to Florida,” Jewell’s mother said, entering the kitchen. “Too many mosquitoes.” “Then how about Arizona?” Jewell asked. “Too dry, too conservative.” “Southern California?” asked Crystal. “Too smoggy, too crowded.” “Then where should we go, Mom?” Jewell asked with a smile. “Hmm,” her mother said, thinking. “I’d go to Hawaii.” “Mom, I don’t make that much money.” “Then stick with Northern California.” “Maybe we will. Perhaps before Sheena’s ready for school,” Jewell said. “That’s too many more winters in this arctic climate!” Crystal exclaimed. The trio laughed heartily.

Prince sat fondling his latest souvenir: the blood-red panties that had belonged to his latest victim. He knew he was getting carried away and losing control. He had to slow down or he would surely do himself in. An eyewitness had already come forward to say they’d seen an argument between a man and a woman resembling the last bitch he killed. He had to stop killing them in Forest Park and dumping them there. If he lost control, which he was bound to do sooner or later, he would change his M.O. and throw off the police. He hadn’t wanted to bring them home and risk drawing attention, but maybe it would be better if he did. Instead of forcing them into his car, he’d have them over as dates. Then, once he lured them inside, he’d have his way with them and maybe dismember them in the basement. That would make it much easier to dispose of them a little at a time and be more choosy as to the dump site. The only problem was that all the chicks he’d been meeting lately thought they were too damn good for him. If only he had the Pierceson bitch. She would take his mind off hunting. Soon. Soon, he would occupy his time with her. Oh, what he would do to her once he got her! He had to get her soon, or else he would lose it. The threads of his sanity threatened to unravel constantly. It was a wonder he could get through work. He hated his boss. She was a woman, and he not only hated women, but he hated being told what to do by one. Just the other day, the conceited bitch had called him into her office. She had come to him while he was studying his parts checklist. “Warren?” He turned to face her. “Could you please come to my office?” He put the clipboard down. “What’s up?” “Well, I’d rather discuss it in my office,” she said, subtly nodding toward the others. Prince looked at his coworkers. They were eyeing them with curiosity. Mind your own fucking business! he wanted to shout. Instead, he followed his boss. At least she had a sexy ass to admire on the way there. He stepped into the office and, as always, found it a contrast to the shop’s garage. It was clean and organized, with two vases of flowers. A vase of pink carnations sat on her desk, and multicolored tulips sat on a small table. He could see a card with the tulips and wondered what it said. He studied his boss as she sat at her desk. You would never be flattered to receive flowers from me, would you? No, you’re too good for a poor scumbag like me! As Viola Wolfe settled in her chair, she studied the young man. Not good at all. Warren Prince had always given her the creeps. Suddenly, she realized she was alone with him. Her boss, the owner, was in his office a few doors down. The noise of the machinery in the garage snuffed out any sounds within the offices. She wished the walls were made of glass. Prince continued to study her. The tall, slender brunette was beautiful, but he preferred short redheads like Crystal Pierceson. He noted her obvious discomfort. A slow smile of amusement broke across his face. “Yes, Miss Wolfe?” Vowing not to show her unease, she cleared her throat. “You were late this morning.” “I know I was. I’m very sorry. The old clunker just wouldn’t start. It won’t happen again.” He placed a foot on the edge of the desk and leaned back, causing the desk to shake. “Please don’t do that,” said Viola. Prince took his foot away. “You were late three times this week, Warren, and I’m afraid I’m going to have to write you up. This is your second write-up. I’ll have to let you go if there’s another one.” Yeah, you’d be really afraid,he thought. And so damn devastated to lose such a fine gentleman. “I’m sorry, Miss Wolfe. It won’t happen again.” He started to rise. “Something else?” “One more thing. I’ve got a report saying you’ve been harassing Michelle again. She’s signed a complaint stating that you’re constantly propositioning her.” He felt his jaw tighten. That fucking bitch! “All I can say to that, Miss Wolfe, is that it’s been the other way around. I try to avoid her, but she just doesn’t want to stay away. I’d say she lodged the complaint in retaliation for my refusing her advances.” Viola wanted to call him a liar. She knew he was lying, but she remained neutral, just as his probation officer had suggested. She was twenty-four, divorced, and had two and a half children to care for, counting the one a few months in the making. She couldn’t afford to lose her job, as much as she longed to can this jerk on the spot. “I’ll do everything I can to be on time and to keep away from Michelle,” Prince said. “I’m a happily engaged man. Got me a real fox waiting for me at home.” Viola had Prince sign the write-up and excused him. He eyed her with contempt as he left. Shaking off the memory, Prince felt restless. He hated weekends. That was when his desire to kill was in full gear. He rose, leaving the panties on his bed, and began to dress. It was Saturday afternoon and he was sick of sitting around with nothing but booze and the TV. He shoveled the snow-filled driveway and backed his wagon out toward his favorite bar downtown. Inside, he ordered a pitcher of beer. About a half hour later, he engaged in a pool game. “Did you hear about the latest Forest Park murder?” someone nearby asked. “That I did,” replied a scruffy older man. The daughter of the bar’s owner walked by just as Prince said, “Serves her right for walking alone at night.” His drinking pals eyed him warily as the daughter said, “Hey! That’s a cruel thing to say. Just because a woman may choose to be out alone at night doesn’t mean she deserves to be raped and murdered. I ought to have my daddy toss your butt out of here!” She sauntered off before Prince could give in to the urge to smash his cue stick over her head. Who the hell was she to tell him off? No woman spoke to him like that. The sound of his buddies’ laughter brought red-hot embarrassment to his cheeks. He tossed the stick on the table and stormed outside. And then he saw her. She had come out of a store a few doors down, carrying a baby. He quickened his pace. “Hey,” he called out. “Hey, wait a minute.” The woman turned. Yes, it was her. “Warren?” “Yeah, Rosie, it’s me.” She hadn’t changed much. She was more beautiful than ever. His gaze fell upon the child she held. “Who’s this?” Rosie smiled. “This little guy is Clay. He’s ten months old. Meet your Uncle Warren,” she said to the child. The boy hid his face. “He’s kind of shy.” “You married?” Warren asked. Rosie nodded. “To a wonderful man. Works at an accounting firm. How’s life treating you and Dad? Is he with anyone?” “No, he’s still by himself. He’s a workaholic. That’s pretty much all he does.” “I hope he managed to stop drinking,” Rosie said. “What’s going on with you?” “Me? I’m working at an auto body shop and renting a house. I’m seeing a really cute redhead named Crystal. We’re thinking of shacking up real soon.” As Rosie watched him, she doubted he was being honest. She sensed he was still drinking and using women. She had heard about his trouble with the law. “Why won’t you see Dad?” “You know why.” “Do you think he harmed Mom?” “Nah. He wouldn’t do that,” Prince lied. “She simply upped and left us.” Rosie had never believed that. She knew her father had something to do with the disappearance. The child began to squirm. “Okay, okay,” Rosie said. She glanced at her brother. “Perhaps I’ll look you up sometime.” “Sure thing,” Prince smiled. They walked toward his car. “This your station wagon?” “It’s my piece of shit, alright.” As Rosie looked at the vehicle, she noticed black smears in the back—some in the form of a handprint smaller than her brother’s. She remembered the news reports about the black grease and shivered as her brother screeched away.

“Crystal, stay off my ass!” Jewell screamed. Crystal thought she would lose it. Between the baby’s crying and the constant arguments, her nerves were stretched taut. She followed Jewell into the kitchen. “Jewell, I’m only saying it makes no sense for us not to see other people if we’re just going to live like roommates. And you promised you wouldn’t smoke in the house.” “Yes, I know. I break all my promises, I treat you like shit, and I’m a blatant asshole. So sue me.” “Maybe I’ll just leave instead.” Jewell eyed her incredulously. “Then go if you have to.” “You don’t even care? You’re that indifferent?” “Look, I’m through arguing with you. I don’t need this shit.” Jewell took her tea into the living room. Crystal’s fists clenched with rage. She ran upstairs to the bedroom, flung herself on the bed, and cried hard for ten minutes. Alone. Always alone. She was now certain that things would never change. Jewell ascended the stairs to put the baby down, then entered the bedroom. She leaned against the dresser and eyed Crystal with contempt. “So,” Jewell finally said, “is this the way it’s going to be? You gonna cry like a baby every day now?” Anger took hold. Crystal rose from the bed. “If you see me as a crybaby, then I’m out of here. You can go fuck yourself, you scum-sucking asshole!” Crystal went to leave, but Jewell grabbed her, spun her around, and slapped her across the face. Crystal cried out in pain. “Cuss me out again, Crystal,” hissed Jewell. “Go ahead.” Crystal was seething. “You think you’re so big and tough because you’re some hotshot FBI agent? Well, guess what? I’ll be damned if you’ll play with my head anymore!” The baby began to cry in the next room, but Crystal didn’t care. She was on a roll. Jewell stood towering over her, eyes boring into hers. “If you think you can keep me around as a housekeeper, you’re wrong! I’m not going to be your live-in slave.” “Then go. You’re a shit of a wife and mother anyway.” “I haven’t been given the opportunity to be a good wife because you won’t let me!” “Oh, please!” Jewell spat. “You haven’t even given me a chance.” Crystal was shocked. “Haven’t given you a chance? We’ve been together nearly two years! Admit it, Jewell. You don’t want me. Period.” “How can I desire you? All you do is bitch, you suck as a mother, and you’re not exactly centerfold material these days, you know?” Crystal felt as if she’d been slapped again. “Do I have to be a centerfold?” Her fuse blew, and she lunged at Jewell. But she was no match for the much bigger agent. Jewell easily held both her wrists with one hand while slapping her with the other. The baby was wailing loudly. After a few dizzying slaps, Jewell released her. Crystal staggered toward the staircase. Jewell was hot on her heels, screaming, “You get your ass out of this house now and don’t you come back or I’ll kill you! I don’t care if you freeze to death, you fucking bitch!” At the bottom of the stairs, Crystal flung the front door open. She was partway over the threshold when Jewell kicked her in the lower back. She shot out into the cold as the door slammed shut. She rolled off the cement steps and landed on the walkway. Unaware of the icy air, she pulled herself up and headed for the neighbor’s house. She rang the doorbell, but no one answered. Shivering, she headed across the street. Again, no one came to the door. What is it with these people?she wondered. Were they not home, or did they simply not care?