The Other Side of the Nightmare

Alicia felt happier than she had in a long time—even happier than when her uncle was alive. Being with him had never felt quite like this. The sights and sounds of the swap meet brought her back to life, along with the beautiful doctor beside her. She darted ahead whenever something caught her eye, prompting Alyssa to shout after her not to get lost, laughing along with her parents. Dan bought tools. Rayna found a hand-painted vase. Alyssa eventually chose a turquoise necklace. “No fair,” Rayna teased. “You don’t have anything yet.” “If you want something, say so,” Alyssa told Alicia, squeezing her hand. “Promise?” Alicia nodded. Eventually, a tiny doll caught her eye. “Oh, she’s adorable,” Rayna said. “She needs a home,” Alyssa added. “If you don’t think I’m too old,” Alicia said shyly. “You’re never too old,” Rayna said. As they walked, Alicia wondered what Alyssa was thinking. She felt something mutual—but Alyssa was probably straight. She’d seen the photos of Donte. Later that night, Alyssa helped her bathe and redress her arm. “If you have pain tomorrow, you’re going to…?” “Swear under my breath,” Alicia giggled. “Nooo.” “Take a pain pill.” “And if you panic?” “Hide under the covers.” “Nooo.” “Take a happy pill.” “Only if you need it.” “Yes, boss.” The doorbell rang. “Alyssa, honey,” Rayna called. “Donte’s here.” Alicia’s heart sank. She watched from a distance. When Alyssa returned, she looked unreadable. “Everything ok?” Rayna asked. “Yeah,” Alyssa said, then turned to Alicia. “Come on. We’ll read.” Later, Alicia finally asked, “Was that your boyfriend?” “Well… sort of.” That was something. “I don’t know what I want yet,” Alyssa admitted. “You should follow your heart.” Alyssa smiled and hugged her. “Thanks, sweetie.” They read side by side until lights-out. Alone in the dark, Alicia worried about the future—about Alyssa, about being left behind. The unknown terrified her now. She didn’t want to die, but she feared being abandoned once she was stable. She told herself Alyssa wouldn’t do that. But she was still afraid the beautiful doctor would one day fade into a distant memory.