The first one born on Earth

      Why demons need human souls and for what purpose do they lure people to hell?       Cain wondered about this from time to time after his father's emotional story about sins and misdeeds that upset God. He stopped listening a long time ago, simply because Adam never gave an answer to this interesting question. There are only vague threats and promises of heaven's punishment, but what good are they? When you don't even know what paradise looks like and you've never been there, you're not afraid to lose it. What's the point of being afraid of losing what you don't have, haven't had, and never will have, if he believe his parent's words? What if you don't like this suspense at all, which you'll be stuck in forever? And what's the point of trying to get a reward that you probably don't even need?       However, Cain found a suitable interlocutor to ask this question after he left Adam's family, starting to look for his place in the world.       The creature introduced itself as Satan. The Lord's left hand, which does the dirtiest work for him. Smart, cunning, treacherous, not married. And most importantly, he had nothing to do with Adam. That was all Cain needed at that point in time. Of the disadvantages, there was only an insistent desire to conclude some kind of contract or pact, which seemed extremely suspicious to the young man, but nevertheless they stipulated one condition. Honesty.       Satan himself was not too pleased with the deal for such a small thing, but it seems that almost any contract suited him. The red-faced creature really wanted to somehow connect herself with Cain, and this aroused incredible interest, but the First Born on Earth could not afford not to show at least minimal caution. And mutual honesty could not only allow Cain to learn a little more about how the world works outside of the area familiar to the young man, but also to understand how it was possible to fulfill Satan's little wish.       That would take time. A lot of time to develop a plan, to understand how to implement it at least in partial secrecy from the Lord. And also to find a saint whom God will gladly accept into heaven after death, and who will not mind communicating with a sinner like Cain.

***

      Sif received a message from her long-gone brother unexpectedly. It was brought by a tame falcon with a small purse attached to its paws, in which a message sealed with magic was hidden. In it, her brother reported that he had found people. Other people who lived on earth before their parents were expelled from Paradise. He described how much they were different from them, but the description was short and very stingy. Obviously, Cain couldn't say much because the letter shouldn't have been too heavy for a charming bird of prey.       The woman scratched the falcon's neck and pushed the pieces of fish she was cleaning to cook dinner closer to him. The little creature happily began to eat the treat while the girl wrote her brother a reply. In a short message, Cain invited her to see the world with her own eyes beyond the territory outlined by her parents, and she agreed to this. After their family grew and there were more than fifty people in it, including not only the children of Adam and Eve, but also their grandchildren, it became absolutely impossible for them to live under one roof.       Adam could no longer control every member of his extended family, and this largely freed Sif's hands. Therefore, after receiving the second response from Cain, she packed a small bag of things and set off on her way. It was going to be quite a long one. Surely her absence will be noticed and upon her return it will result in a big scandal.       If she comes back, of course. To make her way a little easier, the woman harnessed her beloved donkey, which was stubborn and obeyed her exclusively. And went to the East, where the lands of Nod described by Cain were located, inhabited by people who were not so loved by the Lord and who had never known Paradise. They lives was short, no more than sixty years at the very best. They believed that there were many gods, and that the earth was inhabited by magical creatures that had nothing to do with hell or heaven. Sif was genuinely curious, and that was a sin, according to Adam. He would probably curse her, too, when and if she returned. She will be threatened with the fact that the entrance to heaven will be forever closed to her, as well as to Cain. But she almost didn't care anymore.       After brother left, there was less food, because there was no one else who understood more about agriculture than Cain, and all the remaining family members essentially had to learn everything almost from scratch. They also lost Abel, the best animal breeder in their family. This made existence extremely sad, but Adam appointed anyone but himself to be the culprits of all the troubles. Although he was the head of the family, constantly talking about how he was responsible for their welfare to the creator himself.       It's amazing that their family continued to grow in such cramped conditions. Adam was convinced that they were not dying out solely because they were still the Lord's favorites. And the fact that Eva and all Sif's adult sisters give birth almost every year had absolutely nothing to do with it.       The woman felt sick and cramped in her usual home. She felt like a wolf in a trap of other people's children, dirty diapers and an endless stream of babies with whom she had to deal as the only one who did not give birth herself. The only times she was needed were when it was necessary to throw a new baby into her arms and at the same moment once again remind her that this was her fate. That's her role in the family. Hollowflowers should also be useful in some way, since they can't produce fruit.       Having stopped for the night, Sif almost burst into tears, lighting a fire and pitching a small tent for herself. She loved children. The babies seemed charming to her, but as soon as they grew up a little, they adopted the behavior of their parents. They started disobeying, acting up, and calling her a useless flower from which no fruit was born. This was usually repeated by children without any intent. Their eyes were empty, as were their heads, which Sif could not fill with anything useful. Any information flowed out of them like water from cracked jugs.       The only one who sympathized with her at least a little was a sturdy donkey who began to lick tears from her cheeks. He was looking for salt, his favorite delicacy, and it was understood by Sif. Nevertheless, the gesture of the simple-minded animal lifted the woman's mood a little.       To Nod Sif traveled to earth for almost ten days, stopping only for overnight stays. And the view spread out before her eyes at one point was incredible. A big city. high stone walls and massive gates. The ships that sailed on the sea were dozens of times larger than Adam's modest fishing boat. There were indeed many people within the city walls. Some of them had skin as black as the night sky, and Sif had never seen such people before. But there were others. Big red-bearded men with big white faces covered with red spots of burns from the scorching sun came down from the ships with barrels and bales. There were people with narrow, almost completely closed eyes, whose hair was straight and stiff in appearance. Each of them had different clothes. There were different patterns on dresses, and each of them spoke a different language, none of which Sif could even roughly identify.       She was quickly stopped by several men in thick leather breastplates and with beautiful wide knives hanging from their belts. They asked her something, but the woman just stood there in a stupor and looked at them, trying to figure out what they wanted from her.       Sif was a little scared of their harsh appearance and the scars on their faces, so she didn't immediately think to show them the little message that Cain had attached to his invitation. The text was written there in an incomprehensible language, but the brother in the letter insistently asked to take it with him and show it to the guards at the entrance to the city.       The men examined the paper carefully. They looked at her at the light of the sun, revealing a hidden pattern on the fabric in the form of an eagle and a snake, which Sif had not even noticed before, and taking the girl by the arms, they gestured for her to follow them. They hardly spoke and seemed very stern, as if there was something older and worse in their lives than the murder of one person and starvation due to long crop failures.       She was led towards a large building in the center of a large settlement after a long walk through narrow streets full of merchants, travelers and some people who diligently invited everyone who passed by to enter establishments with the image of butterflies on the entrance doors. Sif noticed that sometimes women stripped to the waist stood at such doors, showing off themselves and all their charms.       The city was full of sinners and lost souls. It was full of people who had never known the love of God, and that made Sif sad.       The large building had many halls, the largest of which was filled with huge shelves crammed with clay tablets and scrolls from floor to ceiling. There were people in light-colored clothes who studied the writings in the light of the sun and made some notes on brand-new cloth scrolls. Sif had never seen anything like this before, and therefore could not even guess the purpose of this place.       After several flights of stairs on one of the upper floors, she was finally led into a hall with a large table on which was a miniature of a giant settlement made of stone and Cain, who was having a heated discussion with a tanned woman in an unknown language, and a young man who looked very much like him in his chilldhood was writing something down on a small wax tablet. Apparently, this was a plan for the construction of a new area located on the other side of a wide navigable river.       ― Oh, Sif! ― Cain exclaimed, finally paying attention to the newcomers. ― Finally! We haven't seen each other for so many years! I didn't even hope that you would actually accept the invitation.       Her brother hugged her with all the tenderness and warmth he had. He hasn't changed a bit since his exile. Except that his skin became a little lighter due to the fact that under the scorching sun he clearly spent many times less time than before, working in the fields for their family. It was almost touching and brought the woman back to their youth for a moment.       ― I missed you too, brother, ― Sif replied tenderly.       ― This is my wife, Ruu, and our son, Enoch, ― Cain introduced the others in the audience. The woman smiled with restraint, her straight and long hair was gathered in an intricate hairstyle. covered with a mesh of fine fine beads. And the young man seemed so modest that he hardly even looked up from his notes.       ― I'm very glad to meet you, ― Ruu came up with a smile, extending her hand to Sif and gently squeezing her fingers in her hot palms. ― Cain told me a lot about you. And I'm glad to finally meet you. I hope your journey was easy.       ― Easier than I expected, ― Sif replied modestly. ― Apparently, the Lord accompanied me and protected me on the road.       ― The Lord? ― the young man asked with obvious surprise in his voice, finally looking up from his tablets. ― Who's that?       ― Let's come back to this later, ― Cain interrupted his son and turned back to his sister. ― You must be tired from the journey. A room and a bathroom should have been prepared for you by now. My dear, please take her to her chambers, and in the meantime I will inquire about dinner.       To have at their disposal huge chambers of several rooms with high ceilings and full-length windows, covered with thick white stoles that from time to time waved from gusts of hot and salty wind from the Great Sea. They had a comfortable soft bed with a mattress filled with down, not straw. A massive copper basin, which served as a substitute for bathing in the river for the inhabitants of large stone houses. Filled almost to the brim with warm water.       After Sif had washed off the dirt of all ten days of the journey, new clothes were brought to her, taking the old dresses in order to put them in order. The fabric of the new robes seemed incredibly thin and soft to the woman. Which could easily fit into many graceful folds and looked unusually luxurious. Adam probably would not have approved of such waste, because no one except the inhabitants of Paradise is worthy of such beauty and luxury.       “Sinners are not worthy of anything," ― said the father of the family.       Looking at herself in the large, perfectly polished copper mirror, Sif couldn't recognize herself. No one kept mirrors in Adam's house, because he believed that admiring oneself was a sin. And usually the woman looked at herself only in the reflection of the water while washing by the stream. Ruu came to the guest personally to escort her to dinner and rub her skin burned under the hot sun with healing ointments with a bright smell of medicinal herbs. Because of such care and cordiality, Sif felt like a resident of Paradise in her father's descriptions, even though she was still on earth. And even more sinful than the house of Adam and Eve.       After a hearty dinner with lots of herbs and spices, Sif felt a little sleepy, even though she hadn't finished ewen one portion. It was almost surprising to her to see such excesses after many years of abstinence from them and fasting.       ― You don't like it? ― Enoch asked cautiously, watching as Seth pushed the plate away from him, which still had food on it.       ― No, it's fine, ― Sif assured the boy immediately. ― I'm just not used to eating so much.       The place seemed absolutely incredible to the woman. It were unearthly, and that made her want to talk to her brother alone even more, and she barely waited until the end of dinner to ask him the most important question.       ― Has all this always existed here? ― Sif asked, looking at the night city on the seashore shining in the moonlight and at the distant tower standing in the middle of the water, pointing its light at the way for late―arriving ships and local fishermen so that they would not get lost in the dark sea waters. ― Was all this beauty built by people we didn't even know about?       ― Almost, ― Cain replied. ― In the past, it was a fishing village, near which the fortresses of Sodom and Gomorrah were located, but in order to intelligently and correctly manage such large settlements, I clearly had too little experience. ― Cain was lost in his distant memories, looking somewhere at the western part of the city, where a wide navigable river flowed between the districts of the polis. ― As a result, those cities ended up in the mud and were later captured by the Pharaoh of the Lower Kingdom, who wanted to open his way to the Great Sea. And yet I managed to come to an agreement with them in peace and avoid many deaths. And then convince Pharaoh that I can create a decent port for the new ruler, which eventually turned into what you see right in front of your eyes, ― Cain waved his hand at the sleeping city, which stretched almost to the horizon. The distant Pharaoh's palace, with magnificent man-made sculpture gardens covered in gold paint, towered over this beauty, standing on top of the nearest mountain on the other side of the river. ― When I managed to get an answer from you in a letter, I didn't even believe it. All this time before you came, I remembered my father's words that only our family are God's creatures. That only we can be considered real people and there is no one else in this world besides us. But really... ― Cain was silent for a while, running his fingers over a small mural on the wall, with the image of his wife, with a very young Enoch in her arms. ― In fact, the world is so huge. So different. And the people in it are much more worthy of God's love than Adam.       ― Don't say that, brother, ― Sif sighed in frustration. A gust of wind carried to her the scent of incense from a nearby temple dedicated to the goddess with the head of a cat. There were many cats in polis, and those who lived in her brother's chambers at the library even wore luxurious gold jewelry with precious stones. Before dinner, Ruu said that these small animals are revered by the locals as those who know the way to the Fields Aaru. A place that was the equivalent of Paradise here. ― Everyone deserves God's love equally. And I am sure that God loves all these people in the same way.       ― Then why have they never been to heaven, unlike our parents? ― Cain asked. ― Why are their lives so short and their bodies so fragile? Why didn't God even consider it necessary to appear in front of them or send one of the angels here, if he really wanted everyone on Earth to believe in him, which he himself created? The man sighed. ― Let's be honest with each other, Sister. God did not love and will never love all his creatures equally. And that's what I see most clearly in this city after all these years.       ― Why are you so sure of that? ― Sif asked sadly, stroking the affectionate little cat with a necklace of amber shards.       Cain sighed, almost disappointed. There seemed to be turmoil in his mind and soul. The doubts that had been accumulating in him for years since childhood seemed to take the form of a majestic gilded statue of the cat goddess, which was so clearly visible from the windows of the house above the library. It took a while for the man to formulate everything he was thinking. What had accumulated in his soul.       ― Because I know our father, ― he finally replied. ― After seeing all this, Adam will surely call all the peple of this place sinners who deserve to burn in hell and boil in excrement. And if you believe him, then he is the likeness of the Lord. Almost a complete copy of it. And if this is true, then the Lord thinks the same way as Adam. Perceives all people in the same way as Adam. I'm sure if the creator is really as similar to our father as we used to think, and is looking at us now, then he is sure that you are the only person here. All the other inhabitants of this city are nothing more than talking animals, and I am the biggest sinner, since I married a “creature”, which, according to Adam's interpretation, is not human.       Cain was silent for a while, staring at his sister with malice in his eyes. The same resentment against his father and God himself that had been growing in his heart for years. The same pain from the wounds inflicted by Adam for his misdeeds. Minor details that could easily have been solved in simple words.       ― You're mad at father, and I can understand that, ― Sif sighed. ― But he's also a sinner. Just like me. Just like any of us. But I am sure that if there is more goodness in people's hearts than sin, then God will receive them in Paradise. He will close his eyes to minor offenses, especially if you sincerely repent of them, ― Sif said, folding her hands in prayer and looking at the distant starry sky. ― For him, all human souls are equal.       ― But the chosen ones, like our father, are clearly more equal. His soul is valued by God more, even the most worthy inhabitant of this city, ― Cain threw with a grin. ― Look around you. This place is a beautiful creation of human hands. The paradise human made for themselves. In which they dared to be happy. But even this place is not perfect, and there is still pain, suffering, and deprivation. I'm sure if God ends up in the skin of some penniless carpenter, then all that love you're talking about will quickly evaporate. Even if there really was one. He will never be kind to everyone equally, because he has already made it perfectly clear that he had and still has his favorites.

***

      The trial of a certain Stolas was recently held in the courtroom. Frankly speaking, Satan didn't care about this name, as well as the fate of the so-called aristocrat. He was even happy to lower this skinny owl with a crown on its head to the level of an ordinary demon. To shake a little the foundations of the hellborn, in which they still firmly believed. Their rules. Values that these creatures have invented for themselves.       But what he was really interested in was the affairs of the Hubris Circle. Lucifer himself had taken over business in this part of hell a long time ago, but in fact his wife had been doing everything, and for the last seven years everything had been completely left to chance, which made the circle incredibly attractive to all hellborn.       And who wouldn't take the opportunity to do business in a place where there are no laws and everything is possible? That's right, no one on the whole damn planet. Especially sinners.       Satan had a reputation as a punk. Creature going against the system, rules, and attitudes established from Above. And it was precisely because of this that no one assumed that he was the biggest bore in Hell. Even the lords of the other circles could not stand his “stuffiness”, officiousness and desire to use every opportunity to fill all the hellish creatures with the fact that he was the first and only Lord here, and not Lucifer at all.       No matter how hard Satan tried to be polite and follow all the formalities, but in fact he still did not feel any minimal warm feelings for this slug king of hell, who grew up in hothouse paradises and worked with the most innocent souls in the world.       Adam and Eve were repugnant to Satan, as well as greenhouse flowers that were not adapted to life in the real world. The Lord's favorites. His most valuable toys. Whose soul, as it turned out, is not worth anything at all. The discovery is extremely unpleasant and even disgusting. Sometimes, on long winter evenings, Satan, sitting by the fireplace in his mansion, thought about how it happened. The Almighty had many creatures. All but two of them lived on earth, and getting their souls was always a problem. For them, moral were almost always in the first place, and those who were willing to sell themselves for a couple of comforts and their own comfort were cheap. Their souls had almost no energy or strength, and eating them was almost as disgusting as chewing lettuce instead of a juicy steak. No calories, no strength, no energy.       Useless creatures.       “God does not give trials that mortals cannot handle,” ― Cain said. Satan's most valuable asset and his best deal to this day. The immortal chosen one of God, the offspring of his two favorites and the first sinner among sinners. The contract concluded with him was trivial, but nevertheless it was he who allowed Satan to maintain and hold power in Hell even after the fall of Lucifer and his woman... What was her name? However, that's not the point. The main thing was the power he received from the soul of God's chosen one. Only the soul of the creator himself was higher.       It is not surprising that the Almighty himself was afraid of such a force. And how lucky he was to have such a trivial contract with Cain himself. All that was required of him to this day was honesty. No one forced him to always answer questions if the answer was not personally beneficial to him. No one could hold him accountable for his evasiveness or ambiguity. In fact, it's nothing for the opportunity to get a contract with the Creator... which he had so stupidly missed at the time. Cain really fulfilled his part, because he promised him the opportunity to meet God in the body of a mortal man, and not that the finished contract would be brought to Satan on a platter.       It's all fair.       Satan remained in the courtroom after the trial of a couple of demons, even after all the other lords had left. They have always disliked such events and have never even been particularly focused on work. They always wanted to eat, drink, have fun, fuck, or at least just lazily lie in bed and sleep. In moments of forced communication with the Lords of the circles, Satan only wanted to kill, and the only one who helped him control himself was a small personal demon assistant who reminded him of the importance of keeping face in front of current allies. Spoiling relations with the lords of Hell would be foolish, at least while Satan is in the minority.       ― You should go on vacation, Your Darkest, ― the imp remarked, sitting on Satan's broad shoulder, who was sprawled out on his throne, staring blankly at the flames dancing in the cracks of the floor. ― For so many centuries you have been working without a single day off, and even in the company of those who do not help you at all.       ― I can't quit my job because of this, ― Satan sighed. ― Hell is already falling apart. The reputation of the fiery Hyena, even among mortals, could not be worse. They are no longer afraid of us, contracts are concluded without any problems, and because of this, the price of each individual soul in our halls is worth less dirt on a country road. ― The High Demon closed his eyes and tiredly massaged his temples. ― The economy is fucked up. Circles lose their inhabitants after Lucifer closed the circle of Pride, following the lead of the nobility. His domain is overflowing with sinners, even considering that they have been cut out in batches for the last seven years. The nobility thought that this would help them fill their pockets with the souls of mortals and at the same time not dirty their pens. Naive geeks, against which even the Habsburgs no longer seem so ugly.       ― Don't forget about breathing, Your Darkest, ― the imp purred affectionately, giving Vladyka a light head massage. ― That's why I'm offering you at least a short vacation. Your temporary inaction may prompt other lords to take action. They're like children. If you want for them to act, then you need to stop solving their problems.       ― Good advice for a kindergarten teacher, ― a voice with hissing radio interference rang out in the hall. ― But knowing who Lucifer is, this state of affairs does not seem surprising.       Satan turned around in surprise at the unfamiliar voice and saw a man in the shadow of the hall. The soul of a sinner. One of those who have long had no access to anywhere but the circle of Pride. Tall was a man with a wide smile and a microphone cane, whose blood smelled of the familiar smell of an old contract.       ― The Cain Tribe, ― the Demon said with a smile. ― And how did you end up here, child?       The sinner snorted with annoyance, but the wide smile on his face did not waver. It was always easy to hurt someone like him, but purely out of respect for his ancestor, the first murderer among the chosen ones kissed by the Lord, Satan restrained himself and his sarcasm. Although it was almost impossible to hold back a smile at the sight of this child in an adult's body.       ― Let me introduce myself first. I am Alastor, Mr. Cain's gardener, ― the shadows of the courtroom stirred. There were black roots hidden in them, occasionally covered with blood-red leaves. The power of Heaven itself could be felt inside, and the golden blood of the righteous exorcists flowed. The sinner was clearly not as simple as it seemed, and if Satan had not been following the affairs in all circles, he would have been surprised. ― I'm here at Mr. Cain's request. To give you a small invitation.       Thin roots appeared from the ground next to the sinner. They were so black that they looked flat, sucking in all the light from the torches. Alastor took out a small envelope from the inside pocket of his jacket and put it in the roots, which disappeared again at the same moment in order to appear next to Satan. A beautiful gesture that allowed the sinner not to look ridiculous, handing the invitation personally into the hands of a dragon-like giant creature. He didn't have to get up to him from the floor, and he certainly didn't have to bend down to him. It had been a long time since Satan had even seen such behavior from hell-born aristocrats. Did some little sinner who was barely a hundred years old know how to behave more decently than these pompous birds? How long has it been since he's seen a politically accurate tact that he's impressed by such a small thing?       ― And why would Cain need a gardener? ― Satan carefully began to study the letter from the father of all murderers. The smooth letters of the most ancient language of God's chosen ones, written in Cain's handwriting, bore the imprint of his almost limitless spiritual power. Spells to prevent paper from burning in the flames of hell immediately after it was lowered into Hell were part of household magic, which hell-born aristocrats looked down upon with disdain. Previously, only witches and warlocks had done this on earth, who were almost completely exterminated by the Inquisition for knowing too much. The obedient daughters of Cain, who were personally given the best corner in Hell next to Elysium by Satan. Isolated from all the circles and even slightly towering over them.       ― To take care of the Roots of the new World Tree, of course, ― a childish boastfulness could be felt in the voice with an admixture of white noise. ― I suppose the candidates besides me weren't good enough, and he didn't dare entrust such a case to your people. Probably because I didn't want to bother your Darkest with such a small thing.       The cocky little bitch made Satan smile. He was telling the truth. Politely, carefully, but with an incredible desire to show what he is worth at the moment. And it really costs a lot if it coped with the task. He's a weakling in fights, unremarkable in strength, with almost no special powers and almost no contracts. But in skills... Well, Cain always knew how to choose his allies.       ― Meeting at the crossroads bar? ―The demon rubbed his chin, reading the text. ― And you're saying that you're going to make the transition to earth, bypassing the milestones of the rules set by the hellborn and the heavens themselves?       Satan knew the answer to that question. He had his own eyes and ears all over Hell, and besides, Cain himself wouldn't have sent his man to him if he wasn't sure he could handle it. But nevertheless, the demon wanted to hear the answer from the mouth of his visitor, who, bypassing all the restrictions of hell, left the Circle of Pride. It was an interesting attack on the rules set by Lucifer and his wife.       ― Don't worry about it, Your Darkest, ― Alastor replied calmly. ― I know my job.

***

      Friday. Evening.       The air at the intersection near the old bar was incredibly unusual and light. Smog-free volcanoes, moist, cool and delicious. Frogs croaking and crickets singing could be heard from the lake closest to the meeting place.       ― It's been a while since I've been to earth, ― Satan said with a smile, assuming human form. In it he looked like an ordinary middle-aged man with a slight streak of gray in his curly hair. ― I almost didn't doubt you, Alastor, ― the demon entered the bar, being ushered ahead by the sinner's courteous gesture.       It was pleasant inside, it smelled of cigars and expensive alcohol, and a swarthy man in a neat business suit was sitting at one of the tables. This "man” Satan was quite familiar with them and in the past they often carried out God's orders on earth. Unpleasant from their personal point of view and completely inhuman from the point of view of mortals.       ― It's been a long time, my friend! ― Satan shook hands with an old acquaintance, who rose from a soft leather sofa to greet him. ― What is the reason for wanting to meet?       Alastor moved behind the bar, leaving his microphone cane on the small stage. Light, unobtrusive music was pouring out of it, without attracting too much attention. The air was filled with the smells of alcohol and liqueurs mixed with each other in a cocktail shaker with ice. Apparently, it was this interesting sinner who was in charge of the bar at the moment. Satan even wanted to ask why the Horsemen decided to choose this particular place as their gathering point, but decided to save not particularly important questions for later.       ― I even came early on purpose today. Just for you, ― War blew clouds of cigarette smoke into the air and handed the cigar to Satan, which he naturally accepted and allowed his old friend to light it for himself. ― I think you've already noticed that things are starting to change in Hell. You've always been observant, unlike our fallen brothers and sisters.       ― I noticed,― the demon nodded in agreement. ― It's hard not to notice how those who were supposed to suffer in my underworld until the end of time are beginning to ascend from hell to heaven. I'm surprised that anyone is interested in this ascension at all, because Hell is not the same as it used to be... Or at least in the time of Dante.       ― I haven't seen such a sour face on you since the creation of Adam and Eve and the declaration of their descendants as the chosen people. I've heard that the Lords of Circles have made a mess of your kingdom, but is it really that bad? ― War took his drink from Alastor's tray, black, tarry, and scented with fresh blood. Took a sip. ― Not bad, whose blood is it?       ― Underage victims of the terrorist attack, ― there was a strange emptiness in Alastor's eyes, and his smile seemed strained. It seems even greenish threads could be seen on the corners of the lips.       ― My favorite, ― the War said with pleasure, licking his lips after taking another sip of the drink. ― So what's going on in the Underworld that makes your face twist so much at the mere mention of it?       Satan took hold of the glass, which was emitting an infernal heat. It seems that this Mexican vodka had hellfire instead of pepper. As a bartender, the sinner clearly knew his business. Such drinks might not be exactly to his taste, but the number of degrees in it was enough to finally relax. For the first time after centuries of abstinence from libations, the demon finally exhaled. Still, his assistant was right, he needed at least one day off. A little time to exhale and drink in the company of real colleagues on the shop floor, and not a bunch of fallen ones who were simply kicked out of paradise for uselessness.       ― It's a long story, ― Satan sighed, taking a sip of the scalding liquor and releasing clouds of smoke from his mouth after it. The sharpness was just right. ― These devils are barely engaged in their own circles. Only Mammon does something sensible, but everyone else... Beelzipop, the demon of gluttony, puts his dogs on a diet. Asmodeus, who is responsible for debauchery, suddenly became sharply opposed to sex without mutual consent. Moreover, he stopped indulging in debauchery himself, choosing a guy to whom he remains faithful. Imagine that! I am generally silent about Belphegor... Not infernal punishers, but some kind of shame! ― Satan gulped down the remaining drink and motioned for the sinner to repeat. ― They have turned from punishers into some kind of pampered pussies. They can't lay a finger on sinners, they walk under hellborn, they indulge them in everything and make all decisions in their favor. Putting them in charge of the Circles was a lousy idea. If it wasn't an order from Heaven, I would never trust them with such positions in my life.       ― Well, it was God's will. We can't go against him, ― the Warlord patted his old comrade on the shoulder with a soothing gesture. ― But sinners can do that. I'm sure you've got a couple of special ones in mind, besides Cain's Gardener, who might be interested in stirring up Hell's swamp a bit.       ― Because of the actions of Lucifer and his woman, they live in this pit as in a personal paradise, ― Satan sighed, accepting a couple of new shots from the tray and nodding politely to the sinner out of habit. ― They fuck, drink, kill, rob, and all without consequences. Because Lucifer can't control them, and all the other representatives of the infernal nobility don't want to do it. They locked this trash in a Circle of Pride, away from themselves, and even stopped climbing to the ground for new contracts. Why would sinners break such an ideal structure for themselves? For heaven? Almost no one needs it. Even the saints who descended to Pentagram City in order to help a couple of kids ascend can't change anything globally in this regard.       ― Charming, ― said a familiar voice from the entrance. ― Do you work in Hell or in a manger?       ― That's right, Plague, ― Satan smiled. ― You and your hard hand are missing there. Souls will never be worth the same amount again as they were even a hundred years ago.       ― What are you talking about? ― The Plague asked, sitting down at the table with the men. ― A hundred years ago, they were already cheaper than a serving of fried potatoes.       ― There are almost no righteous people like that, ― the War intervened in the conversation. ― There are only weaklings and perverts around, without willpower and minimal spiritual energy. Mortals don't value themselves and they've lost their value to us. The matter must be corrected, otherwise both Hell and Heaven will lose their power and we will fall into oblivion.       ― But we have a couple of ideas, just like Cain, ― Plague lowered her voice, winking coquettishly at the bartender who brought her a fetid cocktail made from some kind of rot. ― But for this, we need you, your connections and abilities, ― the woman was, as always, extremely straightforward. This trait has always been in her and contrasted sharply with her ability to cause global epidemics by taking advantage of human stupidity. ― Recently, people have become smarter, it has not become so easy to infect them en masse, so Cain suggested starting our business from Hell. Arrange a rehearsal, so to speak. We'll wait for him and the others and discuss everything, right, fawn? ― The Plague turned to Alastor again with a flirtatious smile. Such attention was clearly not very pleasant to him, which amused the woman and provoked her to continue behaving like this.       ― You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this offer, ― Satan smiled. ― Since the coming of Christ, I have not felt a greater desire to change anything in this thrice-cursed world.