The first one born on Earth

― Cain, stop it! Adam was terribly annoyed and was already screaming. This only made the baby cry harder. He already perfectly understood the words spoken to him by his parents, he was able to read the moods of everyone around him, but he couldn't do anything about his own tears and fear. There was a terrible thunderstorm outside, bright lightning scars crossed the sky in flashes every now and then, and they were always followed by a terrifying roar. It was the first such storm in his life, and he didn't know what to do. He could only cry and seek comfort from his parents, but instead of hugs, he received thrusts. ― You're the first one born on earth, and you're acting like a sacrificial lamb. Stop crying! Your tears won't chase away the storm.

***

— But we don't want to do it! ― the boy was unhappy with the demands that his mother made. There was no desire to bother with a new child. He was still too young to play, couldn't see anything around with his tiny eyes, and cried endlessly, wrinkling his puffy, round face unpleasantly. His parents never liked the tears of Cain himself but this little maggot was allowed to whine even at night, which was why either he or his sister had to get up and rock the cradle. Sister was always washing dirty diapers, washing, cooking, serving her mother what she demanded, and periodically enduring the fact that the little one dragged her by the hair, pulling out strands. There was no less demand from him. Eva was always complaining about how tired she was, how her back hurt, and how her legs ached. At his mother's request, he carried a whining shrimp in his arms, brought firewood to the hearth, washed what was knocked over on the floor or vomited by the child, which was frankly sickening. Today, she and her sister just wanted to escape from home for a while for walk along the river and go fishing. For set traps for crayfish, pick ripe berries and breathe fresh air, not the stench of mustiness, sweat and Eva's milk. ― I don't care what you want! — The usually quiet woman couldn't help herself. ― Today I'm resting, and you're babysitting your brother! ― Why are we and not the father? It's yours... — Stop arguing with me, Cain! ― Annoyed, Eva shoved the baby into the cradle. ― You were told to keep an eye on Abel, so you will do it. And if you decide to leave and something happens to him while you two are gone, you will be responsible for it, of course! The baby burst into tears in the cradle, but Eva didn't even look in his direction. Leaving the house with a quick step, she walked past the children, ignoring the crying. Eva given up on what she've been fussing over the last few months. She nurtured, cherished, and even drove away the unnecessarily rude Adam, who held the baby so clumsily in his arms. — She left him, and we'll be to blame, — Cain hissed through clenched teeth, watching his mother's silhouette disappear behind tall bushes in the shade of the trees. She'll be doing things with Adam that are much more enjoyable for herself. Not requiring so much attention, time and effort. — Well, to hell with them. Come on, Sif. — They're doing bad things, but we won't be any better off if we leave Abel, — his sister nervously tugged at the hem of her skirt. — If you're afraid that they're beating us again, say so, ― Cain crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at Sif. She was always slouching and bending her knees to make herself look shorter. It was as if at some point she wanted to shrink down to the size of a field mouse and hide under the floorboards of the house. — What's that got to do with it? They'll beat us even if everything goes well with Abel, — she looked at the floor as she spoke, but sounded much more confident than Eve in anger. — His father and mother left him but we don't have to do the same. What if something really happens? — Then let the mother and father be responsible for this, — Cain muttered sullenly, but he did not go to the river that day, staying at home with his sister. He wouldn't have cared what happened to his annoying little brother, but he couldn't imagine enjoying fishing and walking without his sister. After all, the day should have been easier without my parents. Not as perfect as he would have liked, but definitely better. The children cooked dinner, fed the moody baby with sheep's milk, and went to bed without waiting for their parents. Adam and Eve didn't show up at home for a couple of days, hanging out somewhere, but clearly enjoying each other's company. In those evenings and nights, new thoughts began to visit Cain's head more often, which he did not dare to voice even in a whisper, but even to think about them for more than a couple of moments. Blasphemous thoughts, against parents whom God has ordered to respect and love as himself. But it just didn't work out the way it used to.

***

The sun was beating down on his back so hard that he could almost no longer feel his skin. It seemed to Cain that he would start smoking like meat on grill. Salty sweat trickled down his forehead and flooded his eyes, which he was already tired of rubbing. The light was almost blindingly bright and it was impossible for him to lift head from the plow. — You're doing a bad job, ― Adam said indifferently. ― At this rate, the field will be plowed for at least another week. — I'm trying, ― Cain clenched his teeth tighter, just to keep from screaming, as had been happening more and more often lately. Black dirt accumulated under the nails, and calluses appeared on the palms. — You're not trying hard enough, — the words are still as cruel and indifferent. Adam didn't behave like that with Cain's younger siblings, and it infuriated him even more than the damn scorching sun. — Then why doesn't Abel help us? ― throwing the plow and straightening his back with a crunch, Cain snapped irritably. ― I was even younger than he is now, when you first dragged me to work in the field. Why is he lounging in the shade by the river with a fishing rod and younger sisters while we're messing around? — Because he has another assignment,― Adam was laconic today. From the trembling and tightly clenched jaws, Cain guessed that his father was experiencing about the same thing as himself. Irritation, fatigue, and hatred of those who are nearby. To his stupid questions and the shoddy character that Even attributed to Adam, and Adam to Eve. ― Are you saving your favorite child for something more important? — he should have kept my mouth shut, but the venomous words came out of parched throat by themselves. His father didn't say anything to that. Just clenched his jaw tighter, gritted his teeth, and continued to work.

***

― Cain, don't be greedy! — Eve demanded, as soon as Abel started whimpering just a little. ― Share dinner with your brother. — What's that for? ― the boy was indignant. ― I've been plowing all day without taking a crumb in my mouth, and I also have to share with someone who “worked” lying by the river and didn't even rub a single corn? He has his own plate. Let them learn not to touch other people's things... Hey! ― was all Cain managed to exclaim when his father took the plate of dinner from his hands to hand it to his voracious brother. ― You didn't work well today and did only half of what you were assigned to do. So you don't deserve a whole plate, — Adam concluded. In this house, no one opposed his words. Mother dutifully accepted everything as a given, Sif was afraid, and everyone else... they loved him, because he obviously treated them differently. However, they probably didn't see the difference. Why notice something that is more profitable to close eyes to? ― It's not fair! — Cain was indignant. If no one stands up for him, then he'll have to do it yourself. At least try to defend his truth. ― Here I decide what is fair and what is not! — Adam slammed his fist on the table. Sif quietly squeezed her brother's hand under the table. Asked him not to get into trouble. Don't contradict, at least not so obviously. That day, going to bed late at night, he found a still warm flatbread under his pillow, and under the bench a small bowl of stew covered with some kind of unattended cloth. Sif rebelled quietly. She was a good girl in front of everyone, but she always acted as she saw fit, even if it contradicted the will of her parents. She nodded in response to the demand to do something, and then went and did everything in her own way, so that no one could see. It's just a pity that her parents always attributed the success of her right decisions to themselves, either forgetting what they had actually instructed, or deliberately pretending that everything was planned that way. As he ate a flatbread and squelched cold soup in the dark, Cain thought about Adam's tearful story of exile from Paradise. And unlike his parents, he wasn't mad at the Devil or God. Paradise probably got even better after they left.

***

— Face it, brother, God just doesn't need your vegetable plate, — Abel grinned, wiping his bloody hands on his pants. This action made Cain shudder even more than his words. Abel's clothes were always washed by his sisters. The boy had no idea how hard it was to remove bloodstains from a light canvas cloth. — Next time, bring a more worthy sacrifice to the altar, Cain, — Adam never raised his voice in this place, for fear of offending the delicate ears of his beloved God. ― And don't embarrass me like that anymore. — How is my sacrifice worse than a slaughtered lamb? — Even more work was put into it than into grazing the animal. Or does a moody god prefer to watch blood flow? ― Cain kept his mouth shut less and less, and this infuriated his father. The teenager staggered from the slap in the face, taking a step back. A salty taste was clearly felt in his mouth, and a thick scarlet drop fell from his lower lip and fell on the white stones by the altar.

***

The blood sparkled with golden sparks in the light of the bright summer sun. It spread over the stones and soaked into the black earth so quickly, as if the soil itself wanted to absorb as quickly as possible what had once been created with its help. Cain looked at his mother's tearful face with some indifference. His father cursed him, but he did not dare to come closer and punish him with his fist as in childhood, cautiously squinting at his hands, covered with brother's blood and the harvest sickle with which Abel's throat was cut. — Why are you crying? ― he didn't feel anything towards these people. Killing my brother turned out to be even easier than slaughtering a lamb for lunch. Although, if you think about it, Cain probably felt even more sorry for the animal. After all, lambs are silent and indifferent creatures that almost expose their throats to the ritual knife themselves. They are simple and understandable, and it is always easy to come to an agreement with them, even without shouting, unlike these people. That's probably why, in his father's stories, God was so angry at him and his mother for eating the fruit of knowledge. Adam and Eve were probably nicer to the Lord as simple and quiet animals. ― This is a valuable sacrifice for the Almighty. The most expensive of all that we have in our family. Your favorite, — Cain felt himself smiling. His head was slightly dizzy from the pleasant feeling of euphoria. It seemed to him that he had even grown taller, since he was looking down on his parents right now. For years, he made concessions to his younger brother. Listened to how good Abel was at everything and how much better he was than the others. He suffered the bullying from his parents. For an endless time listened to how God loves all his creatures equally and swallowed my resentment every time, according to my father, turned out to be not good enough for the great creator of all things. But from now on, he's had enough. He was tired of being second best. Forever behind. He'l tired of trying his best to please a moody god and equally moody parents for whom none of their many children were good enough. Except for Abel. Spoiled, loved, and arrogant. — Go away, — Adam barely moved his pale lips, framed by a thick beard. The faded clothes were soaked with blood tinged with gold. ― Go away and never come back! You will be cursed by both me and the Lord! Heaven will punish you! Cain just smiled wider. Picking up an axe from the ground and thrusting it into his belt, he turned his back on his parents and did what he was asked to do. He just left, collecting those things that he considered necessary and important for himself. As always, Sif secretly handed him a small bundle of bread and seeds so that he could plant them somewhere later. To put down roots and continue to live. She didn't cheat on herself and did everything she thought was right until those who could punish her saw it. Sif didn't judge him for what he did, but didn't want to approve either. He didn't blame her for that. His sister has always been peaceful and quiet. She compromised for the sake of peace, even to her own detriment. “Everything will get worse with your departure,” she whispered in his ear. And Cain knew that she was right about that statement. The problem has not gone away or disappeared. She just went quiet for a while. According to a good plan, one of the parents should have taken Abel's place on the sacrificial altar. But it seemed too merciful. Just kill someone who deserves to suffer and think, if there is anything else. After all, more and more often it seemed to the young man that the whole mind in the heads of his parents was replaced by love for some invisible being, and their whole existence was reduced to the desire to prove to him through constant sacrifices their love and loyalty. To earn forgiveness from a wrongdoing that wasn't as nightmarish as Adam had painted it. He walked for a long time and stopped for the night only when dusk fell on the ground. The animals were afraid of him, apparently shying away from the smell of his dead brother's blood. They were afraid of the fire he had lit and the smell of fried fish. Having eaten a modest dinner alone for the first time, Cain exhaled, almost crying. The silence around him had never seemed so wonderful, the fresh fish without salt and spices was so delicious, and the air was light and fresh. At that moment, it was as if a huge boulder that he had been carrying since childhood had fallen off his shoulders. A burden hung by father and mother around their necks and weighed down every year and every new brother or sister born. The stars in the sky were shining brightly, and the white disk of the moon was reflected in the salty waves of the Great Sea, as if it were a silver carpet inviting him to pass into a new unknown world. And he was ready to accept this invitation. To embark on an adventure that he would never have dared to participate in until this day. “If I go on the road, I'll find my place. And if I die, then no one will grieve,” the thought was light and almost joking. Which made him chuckle softly at his own recklessness. His father had promised him God's punishment, but so far nothing had happened. No scary bird, Lilith's servant, attacked him. No pillar of fire was cast down from heaven on his sinful head. Even wild animals avoided him, not wanting to attack the First Born on Earth. “Maybe there is no punishment, because there is really no one who can punish?” ― a blasphemous thought appeared in my head as if by itself. — “Maybe there is no almighty God, but Father just made up this ridiculous tale to intimidate us?” The idea is unusual and strange, so much so that Cain shook his head with golden curls so that it would not stay in his skull for a long time. But alas, it was too late.

***

Eden shuddered. His very essence became shaky and shaky, like clouds. Lucifer was scared for the first time in his long existence. Previously, Paradises were inviolable and eternal. A fundamental part of the universe that was indestructible in his mind. He did the only thing he could in this situation. He went to Yahweh, the great Creator, for answers and peace of mind, which he lost immediately after his Father came up with the idea to produce imperfect people. He found God in his private chambers. He looked completely different from before. Lying in a cloudy fog and looked weaker than ever. For the Creator of all Things, such a state was simply unthinkable. — It's because of you, ― the God wheezed, as if he really had lost his strength. He became a mortal, just like those pitiful people who were banished from paradise. — Because of your gift, this man has become someone who can take my place.