Stepping into Psycho

Carissa's first weekend with Flora was pretty laid back. They stayed in the entire time. Flora's daughter, Braelyn, came to visit on Sunday. Carissa found her to be just as pleasant as her mother, and she looked like a younger version of her as well. "Isn't she just a cutie?" Flora said to her daughter, putting an arm around Carissa. Carissa smiled politely, but in truth, she thought she looked absolutely horrible. It was horrifying stepping in front of the bathroom mirror and seeing a person reflected in it who was almost a stranger. Gone was the young, smooth, and nearly unblemished skin. Now she had hints of age spots, varicose veins, and wrinkles. Her skin felt thin and saggy. She stared sadly into the mirror. Only a former shell of herself remained. If it weren't for her eyes, she would swear she was looking at a whole different person. Even her hair had changed. Her long black locks had once been shiny, silky, and smooth. Now they had lost their luster and appeared dried out and damaged. The nurses had trimmed it to make caring for her easier. It had been to her waist at the time of the accident. Now it was barely below her shoulders. They spent most of the weekend chatting and watching movies. Carissa found all the new technology both overwhelming and amazing. "I know it seems really high-tech and complicated," said Flora, "but it's really not that bad once you get used to it." "I would never have thought you could ever simply command any kind of machine or device out loud to tell you the weather or to turn your lights off," Carissa said with wide-eyed wonder. Flora laughed. She seemed to take delight in Carissa's wonderment. "Can I command it to drop me a million bucks?" Flora laughed again. "Or at least enough to live comfortably on." "Aw, you want to leave," said Flora with a mock groan in her voice. Carissa studied Flora. She was surprised at the genuine hurt and worry that seemed to cross her features, even if she was trying to make a joke of it. Worried that she might have offended the woman, she said, "Oh, no, not at all. I can see myself being quite comfortable here, and you're so damn cool and easy to get along with. I just worry I'm imposing on you. You've done so much for me. You didn't just give me a place to live, but you're cooking for me, and you even bought me a brand-new wardrobe." "And I've loved every minute of it too, I assure you. As for a brand-new wardrobe, I really didn't get much. You've only got a few pieces of this and a few of that, and I think that next weekend we should pick up more things for you." Carissa thought for a moment. Flora had a point. She didn't even have enough underwear for an entire week. Did she really want to do laundry every few days? "Well, I could certainly use some more things." "Good," said Flora, once again smiling happily. "It's settled then." Carissa smiled with admiration at the tall blonde with the bright blue eyes who had opened her heart and her home to her so generously. Flora took her hands and then pulled her toward her for a warm hug. Yeah, Carissa thought to herself, I think I just might like it here. The following week was uneventful. Flora dropped Carissa off at the rehab center on her way to work just a few buildings away and picked her up at the end of the day. It had now been six weeks since she'd awoken from her coma. Although she still felt like she had fallen asleep and woken up in someone else's body and life, she was getting stronger and was able to move around faster. The weather was warming up, and she and Flora often took evening walks together after dinner. They were both so proud of her when she was able to make it all the way around the block one evening. "Even a nurse has to get her exercise," Flora had said, puffing and pretending to have a hard time keeping up with her. Late Friday night, after having dinner with a couple of Flora's friends, they were cuddled up on the couch together watching a movie. Carissa was aware of Flora's awareness of her. She recognized the signs right away. She'd never been with a woman, but even though Leyton had been the only one she'd ever been serious about, people were human, and Carissa recognized when someone was attracted to her. She felt Flora almost squirm in the way one did when they were physically close to someone they were attracted to. Along with this, she would occasionally stroke her head and hair and kiss her on the head. Carissa wasn't sure what to make of it at first. She had actually sensed all along that Flora might have a fondness for her that went a little beyond a typical nurse-and-patient relationship. But it was getting obvious to her that her fondness was growing, and the attraction was deepening. She was flattered, but she wasn't sure it was mutual. In fact, she wasn't even sure she could be with a woman. Yes, she'd been attracted to a few here and there, but that didn't mean she could ever imagine getting serious enough to date them. She'd always been an open-minded person, however, who would try almost anything once. Carissa looked into herself and tried to sort out and analyze her feelings. Was this what she wanted? And when it felt like she had just lost everyone she cared about not even a couple of months ago? There was no gap in time for a coma patient any more than there was a gap in time when one was unconscious. But what should she do about Flora and her now more-than-obvious attraction and affection for her? She admired the hell out of the nurse. Yes, she totally adored her in every sense of the word. Flora was a sweet, caring, compassionate, and generous person. But did that make her attracted to her in return? Personality-wise, yes. But physically? Cuddling up on the couch was one thing, but she almost dreaded the thought that Flora might eventually want to go further. She just couldn't see herself with this woman on a sexual level. At the same time, she was afraid of what might happen if she didn't go along with whatever Flora wanted. She almost felt obligated after all she had done for her, even if her logical side knew that no one ever had a right to force her into a relationship she didn't truly want. But how do you know you don't want it and might not like it unless you try it? she asked herself. What to do, what to do, what to do! A part of her wanted to come out and tell her right then and there that she didn't want to be more than friends with anyone. But what if she was wrong? What if she was reading Flora all wrong? What if Flora were just a very friendly person? Some people were like that in that they were very physical. They hugged everybody they saw, but that didn't mean they wanted to jump into bed with them. Oh, come on, she mentally reasoned with herself a few seconds later. No one's this friendly. No one. This isn't someone who just likes you or who simply feels bad for you. She's into you. Like really into you. Do something about it or just go with the flow and see where you end up. But if she went with the flow and Flora really did end up putting the moves on her and it made her feel uncomfortable, would it be worse for Flora if she put her foot down then instead of beforehand? No, Carissa finally decided. I'm not going to jump the gun, risk the chance of falsely flattering myself, and then end up looking like a total fool. Much to her relief, nothing happened that night other than some hugging, petting, and kissing. The following day, they went on the shopping spree they had planned on the previous weekend. "Let's see, where should I take you?" Flora asked aloud. Carissa found herself a bit irritated that she didn't ask her if she had any ideas, not that she did. Then she quickly scolded herself for being spoiled and ungrateful. "I'll take you to T.J. Maxx," the tall blonde eventually decided. Once again, Carissa felt what she told herself was an unfounded surge of annoyance at the fact that she didn't ask her if that would be okay. The store wasn't as crowded as Carissa expected it to be. She was amazed by all the bright colors. Were clothes that colorful and shiny back in the nineties? She hadn't thought so. "Wow, everything is so fancy and dazzling these days." "It sure is," Flora agreed with a nod. "And now it's time to live on the edge and dare yourself to do something you wouldn't normally do." "Huh?" "Come. You'll see." Flora guided Carissa through the store. They gathered a couple of pairs of shorts, a sundress, and a few tops. Flora helped Carissa try them on in the fitting room, ever so aware of the willowy woman's intense gaze upon her body and the sly, seductive smile that tugged at the corners of her lips when she would catch her studying more than just the fashions. After she tried on the clothes and made her selections, she reminded Flora that she still needed to get a few more pairs of panties. "Oh, don't worry about that right now," Flora told her. "What do you mean?" "You'll see. Trust me. You'll get what you need. I'll tell you about it in the car." Carissa shrugged, and then they paid for all the items. Or so she thought. "Those panties you said you needed?" Flora said once they were in the car. "Yeah?" "Got 'em." Flora pulled a package out from under her shirt containing half a dozen pairs of sexy, lacy panties in different colors that would barely cover the ass of a Barbie doll, let alone her own. Carissa's jaw dropped in sheer shock and even horror. "You're kidding me! This is what you meant by doing something you wouldn't normally dare to do or some shit like that?" Flora's face immediately changed from happy and proud to highly annoyed. But Carissa wouldn't stop. "I don't believe it. I just don't believe it. Why would you do this? You must make decent money. Why would you risk so much for something so petty as underwear? I'm surprised at you, Flora." "And I'm surprised at you. I thought that after sleeping more than half your life away, you'd want to live a little?" Carissa was too disgusted to speak. "Living a little" didn't mean she had to be a criminal, did it? Just how well did she really know this woman?