Project Achilles

Noah

Noah

A knock on my door awakened me. I looked over at my alarm; it was 0030 hours. I got out of bed and walked over to the door, where a masked guard greeted me. Despite my exhaustion, I straighten my stance. “Sir,” I greeted, “to what do I owe this late-night meeting?” “I’ll tell you inside,” the guard said. Of course, I was skeptical of this, but I knew better than to say no to a guard. “Of course, please enter,” I say before stepping aside, letting the guard in. “Close the door behind you, please,” the guard said. I almost recognized that voice, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Once I closed the door, I looked over at my guest before he took off his mask, and I instantly recognized who he was. “Felix, what are you doing here?!” I exclaimed. “I knocked out a guard and stole his uniform so I could sneak to your dorm, what else does it look like, asshole?” he retorted “You’re gonna get in so much trouble,” I said, trying to find it in myself to be mad at him. “And I don’t fucking care,” Felix said before he pulled me down for a kiss without warning. I instantly melted into it. Getting to feel his lips on mine once more felt intoxicating, almost as if he had a spell on me, that could effectively make me incapable of any logic or reasoning. Eventually, we separated for air. We looked at each other, breathing heavily. Felix was the first to speak up, “Sorry, I rejected, I don’t know what I was thinking,” he begged. “It’s okay,” I respond, before we return to the kiss. My hands fell on his waist, trying to anchor myself, as his arms wrapped around my shoulders. I held on to as much of my self-control as possible, not wanting to scare him off like last time, but his mouth was a drug that I couldn’t get enough of. Before the logical part of my brain told me to stop, I found myself picking him up and moving to the bed. I lay him on the bed, my hand cradled his face as I stared down at him while he looked at me expectantly. His chest rising and falling, I stopped myself just before I could do more, “I don’t wish to push you further than what you’re comfortable with, but if you want this just as much as I, your comfort will be my priority, but please know I’ve never-”. He kissed me feverishly before I could finish my sentence, and I kissed him back before pushing down back down to the bed. I sat up briefly to pull off my shirt; his eyes rested on my mastectomy scars, his face a mix of envy and recognition. I went back to kissing him, my hands went to the zipper of his stolen uniform. I pulled it down before he shrugged off the jacket. Next, my hands went over to the bottom of his shirt. His hands stopped me before I could move further. I looked at him as my heart stopped, worried that I had scared him again. His gaze looked away for a moment before he took a deep breath to talk again. Is it okay if I keep mine on?” his voice was small, as if begging me to respect his wish. “Of course,” I said. I ached for nothing more than to feel his skin, but the last thing I wanted was for him to be uncomfortable. My hands went down to his trousers, I undid the front and pulled them down, leaving him wearing nothing but a shirt and underwear. I stared down at the sight beneath me, his lips had been swollen from how hard I’ve been kissing him, the curls of his hair messily falling over his dark brown eyes that stared back at me with a mix of anticipation and vulnerability. Like he was saying with his gaze ‘Are you gonna do anything about it’. I leaned forward, catching his lips with mine once more. Every sound that came out of his mouth pushed me forward, as my lips moved from his lips down to his neck, just above his collar. I stopped when he let out a soft, pained whimper. I sat up to look at him, “Did I hurt you?” I asked. He was breathing heavily as he shook his head. Once he got a moment to collect himself, he finally spoke up, “I felt it against my thigh, and it took me by surprise,” he explained. At first, I had no idea what he was referring to, then I suddenly became aware of the sensation below my abdomen. When I had my phalloplasty, the doctor didn’t give much information other than that I would lose feeling in that area, and instructions not to take the bandages off until he said I could. I didn’t know when it would come back, but I guess it’s coming back now. I looked back down at Felix, from where I was between his legs. I searched for any sign of discomfort, but instead I found desire and anticipation. He wanted this just as much as I did. That was all I needed. I pulled down my pants and underwear at once, before he helped me with his underwear. “Ready when you are,” Felix said. “Let me know if this hurts,” I responded. I tried to keep my movements slow and deliberate, but I slowly started losing myself to the sensation. I knew the risks; if anyone found us, god knows what would happen, but I couldn’t find it in myself to care about anything outside of the young man beneath me. The boy who asserted his identity when I first met him, who always carried a fire in his soul, was chaos, and now he was in my bed, his legs wrapped around my waist. I want to keep him here, to hold him forever, to hear him say my name. This is not how a good soldier behaves; a good soldier doesn’t lose himself inside a prisoner like this, but his body was a fire, and I was the moth happily burning inside. Once we were finished, Felix nestled his head on my chest, as I ran my fingers through his soft black curls. “I should get back now,” Felix whispered before he started sitting up, “think you can work your magic like last time?” I sat up as well,l “of course I can”, I said as I reached for the underwear I had left discarded on the floor, and walked over to my closet and switched into my training uniform. “I’ll come to check on you tomorrow morning.” “Will the camera be frozen?” he teased as he started changing back into his stolen uniform. “Only if you wish,” I responded. “Maybe I do,” Felix teased. At that moment, I knew I had been reborn.

Felix

I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night; my mind kept going back to the previous events. I didn’t go to his dorm to fuck him; my plan was just to kiss and make up. The rest just kinda happened. It’s not like I didn’t enjoy it, but now my thoughts are all fucked up. I’ll be honest, I don’t really “love” him, but I do like the physical part of whatever we’ve got, I like kissing him, and maybe it’s cause it was my first time, but I liked having sex with him, still I couldn’t shake the fact that he was there on the worst day of my life. When my brother was shot dead, it was just a ‘necessary evil’ to him; hell, it could’ve very well been him who pulled the trigger on Milo, or Eric. Then again, he didn’t choose this life; he was forced into it by birth, and whether I like it or not, if it weren’t for him, I’d be dead, or that creep would have his way with me. Noah was a killer, but not by choice, and if he’s good in bed and willing to stick his neck out for me, then maybe he’s my ticket to freedom. All my thoughts one after the other like a domino effect, Jesus fuck, I won’t get any sleep. The next morning, I was at the mess hall eating breakfast with Maya and Tony. “Have you made things right with Noah?” Maya asked, immediately snapping me out of my thoughts. “Oh yeah, I did,” I responded, leaving out the rest of what happened last night, “I said I was sorry and everything, so I guess we made up”. “Kid, what’s that on your neck?” Tony said, Immediately put my hand on the hickie, I didn’t even know it was there. “Bug bite,” I said before clearing my throat. Almost as if on cue, Noah shows up behind me, having been led by a guard. I immediately turn around to see him, his expression reflecting the perfect soldier. “I’m here for a scheduled interrogation,” Noah said. I turned to Maya and Tony, “I’ll be back in a bit,” given last night I’d say fifteen minutes. My heart raced as I followed him down the hall to our usual interrogation room, “I’m guessing the audio’s off and the camera’s frozen,” I teased. “Of course,” Noah spoke, his tone softening now that no one could hear him, “no one can see or hear us.” I smirked before I walked right up to him, placing my hand in the back of his headGoodood” I said before pulling him down for a kiss. He kissed me back, as I felt his self-control slowly start to slip away. Eventually, he backed me all the way to the table, knocking down a few chairs in the way. He picked me up slightly, making me sit on the table. I reached up for the zipper in my uniform, pulling it down all the way to my waist, and taking it off, leaving me only with the ThunderShirt and boxers. His hands found my hips before pulling down my underwear. There I was spread out on the table, as he kept thrusting. I leaned back, letting my body relax, the sound of Noah’s panting serving as the perfect white noise. I let myself close my eyes, and that’s when I saw Milo on the ground, with that bullet hole in his chest, as he lay in a pool of his own blood. I snapped my eyes back open, remembering where I was and what I was doing. I wanted to stop, but I didn’t want to stop, so I didn’t. Once he was finished, he looked down at me, running his hand through my hair, “Are you alright?” he asked. “Yeahh,” I responded, my mind and body still coming down from the high, “I think you should take me back.k” “Of course,” he said before pulling out of me. He pulled up his pants and underwear, buckling his belt back up, while I slipped back into my uniform and pulled the zipper back up. Noah reorganized the chairs and then looked d himself in the mirror to smooth out his hair, “I’ll be checking up on you every morning,” he said, “if you need anything, please contact me through the radio I gave you”. He went up to me for a kiss before returning to his polished soldier persona and leading me back. I sat back down with Maya and Tony. “You okay, kid?” Tony asked, What happened in there?” “We just talked,” I said. “You sure? You look a little winded to have just ‘talked,’” Maya said. My face was a deep red. “It’s none of your business”. “Either way, you need to be careful,” Tony said, “he’s one of them, remember that”. I spend the rest of the day following a routine. I did my best to act as normal as possible, while my mind went back to those moments with Noah, I felt a mix of guilt and arousal swell up inside me as I recalled them. Still, he was my lifeline, A, and maybe, just maybe, I can save him too.