Labelled by Blood

      My door creaked open and my eyes fluttered open. A light too shy to say hi lit up a reverse shadow of the door frame.       "Alex?" It was Dad. I thought I answered him, but then he called for me again and my eyes opened for a split second. "Alex."       "Mhm?" I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or awake.       "We're heading in early. Wanted you to know is all."       I hummed sweetly and my door closed. That was weird, the last time they checked in on me like that a few years ago. Without another thought, I focused on my sleepiness. I was out in seconds. I dreamt I ran and won a 5k. Okay, dream Alex, you can't just make believe anything you want. We both knew that wasn't happening.       Then my alarm went off. I tried to snooze it but fumbled with my phone. It told me to unlock it and I tried, my eyes burning from the bright wallpaper and brain fog that blanketed my everything. The alarm kept going and I eventually sat up and turned it off. I was up, now.       I kicked off my bed and yawned so hard my ears popped. I headed to my wardrobe and picked out something cute with yoga pants and an oversized sweater. Something a little more practical for training, today. Making my way through my routine, I was out the door and headed to school in record time.       When I got to school, it was emptier than usual. I guessed people were being extra tired today but still sober enough to not nearly lock themselves out of their phones. I waltzed right in and sat outside my first class. Jesse had to be here, but it was football training time. That meant I had to wait a little longer before we could meet up before class started.       I took out a blank journal that was originally meant for another class but just never found its place in my world. I eyed it. It was a generic spiraled journal with that speckled cardboard backing. The front was exciting. There were some diamonds carved out into the plastic cover. The diamonds looked nonsensical, but I found a pattern to the chaos. They came in all the different sizes and elevations. Some were sticking out just ever so slightly with others carved out of the cover itself with deeper grooves. I traced over the overlapping edges with my mechanical pencil.       Tobias was scribbling in his journal. Even Ava seemed like she at least dabbled in writing. What if I tried it? A dumb poem. Just for fun.       With a trembling hand, I started with three words: force, fire, water. I realized I didn't know where I was going with this and just figured writing something was better than nothing at all. The words poured out of me, weaving the three unconnected words into a balanced dance with three distinct voices. Force had bold words that really boomed when you read it. It stood out over the others. Fire had an edge. Short. Punchy. Like it would set my paper ablaze just by existing. Water. Shoot. I realized water was all over the place. Sometimes intricate and graceful, other times messy and almost gibberish.       In the end, I had, what felt like, a three-way standoff between the three words. I wanted water to feel more impactful, but it just didn't sit right. It never really felt like it could be in your face like force or cut quite as sharply as fire. It got muddled out. Force was too loud. I imagined it wanted to overpower the others, but not because it was trying to win. Fire worked okay, but it veered too far from the others. I had a mess on my hands. How did people write poetry?       I had no clue what I was doing. The poem I wrote for English was easy because I knew I wanted something that rhymed. Even that was mediocre. This was just bad. I took a big pink eraser and scrubbed the thing to death. All that was left was a streaky afterimage of what I once thought was innovative and unique.       Down the hall, a pair of footsteps echoed. I sighed. The page was fraying where I had gone over it with the eraser. It was even more fragile than before. The footsteps grew louder and I looked up. Ms. Rohd and Tobias were there, unlocking her classroom door. He spotted me and gave a tentative wave. I furrowed my brows and looked down the other end of the hallway.       "Good morning," Tobias said.       I turned back to him and pointed at myself. He nodded. "Right. Uh. Morning."       He forced a smile that didn't land near convincing and headed into his mom's classroom. I looked down at my failure. I tried. It didn't work out. No one ever had to know. I went at it again with the eraser and slightly tore the page in the middle. Alex, c'mon.       I flipped to the next page and doodled. That was easier and simpler to do. I doodled Jesse's gauntlets and Parker's mace. Then my rifle. Stupid little doodles that looked so strange when together.       "Hey, you want a place to sit?" Tobias' voice reverberated along the walls and lockers.       My eyes shot to him. His head poked out of the classroom. I shook my head. He stepped out of his classroom and his eyes locked on to mine. I looked away, my hand trembled. The image of the creep ripped its way in a flashing lightbulb memory. His footsteps came fast. He squatted next to me.       No, Alex. He has a girlfriend. And his mom's right there. Calm down. You're okay.       "Poetry?"       My eyes darted to him and he sat farther than I remember him being. My heart slowed. The sweat around my body evaporated quickly. He looked at me expectantly.       "What?" I asked.       He pointed at my journal. "Looks like you're writing poetry." My eyes found my doodles. He craned his neck to get a better look. He chuckled awkwardly. "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were writing. I write a ton."       I nodded. "I know," I said. "Ava's mentioned it."       Tobias' face lit up and he beamed. "You know Ava? She's never mentioned you. What's your name, again?"       I smiled, but my face wasn't really trying. Why did I think that Ava would ever talk about me? She did what she did because she felt sorry for me. That had to be it.       "Alex," I stated.       Tobias kept his smile and looked at the backside of my journal. "Alex. I'm Toby. Tobias."       I pursed my lips and nodded. "Right. I know. We kind of met each other yesterday. I didn't know you knew Ava. Or that Ms. Rohd had a son."       He rubbed his arm. "Yeeeaah, most people don't. Mainly the Adams and maybe a few kids she's tutored who saw me hanging around."       My heart skipped a beat. He also went through life invisible. How do I respond? I didn't bring it up. "You and the twins are close, huh? I saw you three getting ice cream yesterday."       Toby laughed. It wasn't forced, I didn't think, but it was laid on thicker than he probably meant. "We go way back. Evan's a huge pain, but Ava's so cool."       I smiled. Did Jesse talk about me like that? "Right. I haven't actually met Evan. How is he? Oh, and Ava's talked about you a little."       Toby's face grew twice as radiant, I thought I saw actual light bleed through him. Then he did a 180. "Man. Evan. Where do I even start?"       We talked for a while. He told me stories of the twins I didn't know could exist. Evan sounded kind of like Parker, if Parker was less mysterious and more loud with his jokes. Ava reminded me a lot like Jesse. She talked when she needed to. Toby was caught in the middle. Trying to survive Evan's jealous wrath while doting on Ava.       Our conversation was cut short when another pair of footsteps trailed through the hall. It was the twins themselves. Toby saw them and stood up in an instant.       He shot me a gaze that apologized for him. "I'll see you around, maybe."       I shrugged. Probably not. That was fine. He had his own friends and life to live. I had mine. They marched into Ms. Rohd's classroom, Ava saw me and gave me another smile that gave me a cavity. Evan's eyes found mine. In an instant he scanned and understood me. He gave a soft smile and waved, too, but I didn't get a semblance that he recognized me.       I was back to being just another body in the building. I looked down at my doodles. They looked better than I remember them being. Almost glowing right off the page.       My phone buzzed. Jesse. I packed away my stuff and headed down the hall into the outside world. Jesse was there with a towel draped along his neck. He flashed me a full smile and waved. He had a couple of friends who elbowed his ribs as they headed out somewhere else. They glanced right off him and he strode to me. He scooped me up in a tight hug and spun me in a circle. Just once.