Labelled by Blood

      I checked my phone. Damn. 6:00AM.       Only had an hour to get ready, packed, and be at the gym. But I couldn't find the motivation to get up. It felt like I was being pressed to death. And part of wanted to just say, "more weight."       But. Why? I was going to see Jesse today. And we were going to train some more.       After my alarm went off a few minutes later, I snoozed it. Then it went off five minutes after that. This was going to happen. And I didn't want Jesse to think I flaked or overslept. Not like he didn't already know I'd have this mental battle. And he'd win out.       Fine. I crawled out of bed and dragged my feet to my drawers. I fished out some wind pants that were a little tight and an oversized T-shirt. I felt naked. It sucked. But time was ticking and I had to leave ASAP. Rushing through my morning routine, I was out the door without breakfast and letting my bangs hang free. Mom and Dad slept in on Sundays, so they weren't a worry this time.       Thank God my hoodie hid me and kept me warm. I looked bummy, didn't I? Oh well. Let people think whatever they wanted to. None of it actually mattered. Jesse would understand.       The air was calm today, but rain threatened over head. It wouldn't last, but maybe it'd stave off just long enough for us to get training in. Rain was beautiful, but it always meant we couldn't hang out as long as I wanted.       The streets were emptier than yesterday. Just some early church crowds, but who really was out at nearly seven in the morning on a Sunday? Me. I was.       The early sun rose, reflecting off the windows of office buildings and I saw the library on my way to the gym. It was massive and just inspiring. Then I passed by the ice cream parlor. He owed me a date after this. No way he was getting away without one.       I kept my head low and made it. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts, I didn't notice Jesse was leaning up against the wall outside the gym until his arm stopped me.       "Emo gym rat, huh? Bold. I don't hate it," he said, handing me a bag of some cheapo fast food breakfast burritos.       I ripped off my hood and scarfed down the burritos. My day was looking up. He led the way into the gym. I followed, crumpling and throwing the trash away as we went.       "How long do you usually stay here? And what are we even doing today?" I asked.       "Just long enough for you to start getting the hang of it. We're doing a little of everything. So bear with me."       "Mm," I pouted.       "Don't be like that," he said with a tender body shove.       I faltered but he caught me. His face said it all and I wished I could punch him. But that'd be different. And we had enough different already. Instead, I let him lead me to the treadmills. I knew how these worked. They were simple enough. But Jesse didn't think that was enough. Fast forward just ten minutes and he was having this thing simulate hilly terrain with max resistance. But he said he was impressed with my pace. But he also was setting the pace. We stopped after twenty minutes, and I was exhausted. My hoodie had to come off. I tried to just roll up my sleeves, but Jesse said I wasn't wearing the "right kind" of hoodie.       His was formfitting and really thin. Mine was thick and baggy.       It came off. More people filtered in and it felt like they were judging me. Some recognized Jesse and outright asked him "who the newbie was?" Like I was a project of his.       I wasn't. He wouldn't treat me like that. But they didn't know. Or maybe they didn't care to see it. Someone even jeered about how small I was. Jesse didn't let that one sit, though. I smirked the whole time the guy backpedaled. Jesse told me how to tell the difference between a genuine comment and a jerkwad.       We kept moving from station to station. Weights. Squat racks. Cable machines. It was never ending. And he knew every single one.       But that guy who made the comment earlier? He was never more than a station away. And he kept stealing glances. It made me uncomfortable. When I told Jesse, he promised me he'd step in if it felt off. He never did. But it felt off.       Gym time finally came to an end. After I was just starting to get the hang of things. I was dead tired, but Jesse barely broke a sweat. He told me to go shower and get dressed in whatever I packed for hanging out. I decided to wear a skirt and leggings, but I was second guessing it after that guy kept looking at me. Jesse reassured me, and offered to wait outside the women's changing rooms for me.       I headed in. It was empty. I showered quick and changed clothes. I pinned my bangs up, feeling confident in myself for once. When I got out, Jesse was right there. He nodded. We're in the clear.       "Alright. I'll be back. My turn." He pushed off the wall and headed towards the men's changing rooms and my heart turned to lead.       He wanted me to wait here? By myself? No. He knew me better.       But he did it anyway. I sat on a bench across the changing room. My eyes were alert and every person who passed by made me shrink into myself. No one even glanced my way. Until he came back. Not Jesse. The guy just came out of the changing room and his eyes immediately landed on me. I squirmed and looked away, pulling my phone out and messing with my phone settings.       He approached me. My body trembled with each heartbeat. The pulse beat in my ears and I felt lightheaded. He sat down next to me.       "I knew it. You're a chick," the guy exclaimed. "Cute, too."       I shook my head. My mouth went dry and my throat clenched. Why. Why today. The day I tried something new. How do I even respond to this?       Alex. It's okay.       "What, nothing to say? I saw the way you kept looking at me," his tone made me wince.       How was a human being scarier than a damn Collector?       No. Alex. It's okay.       I tried to answer. I mouthed something. Nothing registered.       "Let's get out of here. Grab a coffee or something."       My eyes widened and my leg bounced. He did the unthinkable. His hand landed on my knee with a hunters force. I froze. My phone fell and thudded against the thin carpet. My hand glitched towards my stapler.       "C'mon," he said, his hand riding up to my arm.       I didn't know what to do. I wanted to cry. Scream. Run away. Shoot him.       Then Jesse finally came out. My eyes shot up and his fell on mine. There was regret. A twinkle. The guy instantly let go of me and stood up. Jesse was in his face in a second.       "You best get yourself out of here before you can't walk." Those words left Jesse's mouth. Those words brought me courage.       I stood up and stared at the man. He was scared. Good.       Picking up my phone and bag, I regained my composure. "Jess, let's go."       Jesse stood for a moment. Then I heard his footsteps. We left. Not looking back.       Never. Going back.       The walk to the ice cream parlor was a blur. My heart still raced. My thoughts didn't know which way to go.       "Alex," Jesse started.       I shook my head. I hugged my jacket tighter around myself.       "No, Alex," Jesse said, this time running up ahead of me.       I stopped. Kind of had to. I locked eyes with him. "You left me. He." I swallowed.       Jesse shook his head, "I know. I'm sorry. I thought I'd be fast. In and out. I didn't know he was still here."       I took a trembling breath in and out. Jesse cupped my face in his hands and shook his head. He pulled me into a hug. I broke down. In public. He caressed my hair and shushed me. I hated this. So much.       "I won't do it again. I swear," he said. He was losing his composure, too.       But that wasn't something he could swear. "No," I said. "It's literally impossible. Things lined up that way because they had to. We went to the gym. We got sweaty. We needed showers." I pulled away. "No matter what happens, there will be times where we have to be separate."       He nodded. A tear escaped his eyes. My lip quivered. I wanted ice cream. I wanted to think about that. I was done with this.       "Let's go," I said, taking him by the hand. He let me.       We got to the parlor and walked up to the cashier. Oh, he worked today. He was my favorite. He never gave me a weird look or commented about me or anything. He made me laugh. I didn't even know his name.       "Morning," the cashier said. "Never too early for ice cream." He smiled big and my lips flickered up.       "Get me a banana split," Jesse ordered.       Back to routine. Back to normal. "Get me a berry fudge sundae."       "Coming right up," the cashier exclaimed, "or down?" He trialed off in a scramble of thoughts. Something about how ice cream couldn't go up and gravity weighing. I giggled. Jesse did, too. Then he snapped back to reality. "That'll be $15!" I made a face. "I know," the cashier nodded. "But we'll make it extra special today."       That promise was easy to keep. And it made everything better. We found some seats and I looked around the parlor. I saw the twins. They were with their parents. Ava wore something like I did, but had a cool jean jacket on. Evan wore a T-shirt and jeans with a zipper hoodie. I felt like I stole from them. My fashion sense was right out of their wardrobe.       I had half a mind to tell them thanks, again. But the thought of approaching them told me it was dumb. They wouldn't even recognize me.       Did I care?       No. I just wanted to be back to normal. Move on. Train with Jesse. Be a team. They left, anyway. Surely they had better things to do. Our order was called, so we went to get it.       "Extra special, extra berry," the cashier said, handing me my ice cream. "And an extra half banana for the big one," he said, beaming at Jesse.       Jesse scoffed but tipped well. The cashier didn't even seem to notice. He was lost in his own world. I wished I could do that. We sat down and ate. A few more people streamed in, but it was never really busy. It was getting colder and it was still morning.       I tried to make small talk. I knew it wasn't Jesse's fault he left. I guess I just wanted him to tell me he'd find a way to be in two places at once. With his vestige, it felt like he could do that. But that wasn't going to happen in the real world.