Whispering Suits

Cyrus’s revelation is a much needed distraction for my mind to focus on so that I don't get lost in thought over him sitting there still shirtless looking somewhat like a god. I fiddle with the box for my deck…before I can really formalise the thought in my mind, my hand has removed the lid to the box. I retrieve the card that I knew would be at the top, and place it on the table for Cyrus to see. “What about this card” I ask, my tone empty and cold. Cyrus sits forward, he doesn't ask to touch the card, I'm certain he can tell just by looking at it that touching it would be a bad idea. Something about it clearly makes him uncomfortable, as he seems to pull away from it back into the sofa. “That card has been infected. The magic hasn't just been used, it was ripped out by force by someone who didn't know what they were doing. How did it end up in this state?” Cyrus sounds genuinely disgusted, like he's upset the Tarot card has been damaged. I choke back the bile rising in my throat. “My mum…she used the magic in that card to protect my little brother and I against a Winter Faerie, and it cost her her life”. The room is silent while Cyrus processes what I've said, the pieces of the puzzle falling into place. He looks from the card to me and back again. “And you still want to learn how to use these cards, knowing what it cost your mother?”. I close my eyes, and I can still see the Faerie who killed her as clearly as if it was stood in front of me now. I can still replay that moment, where she made her choice to save us by sacrificing herself. I can still hear Dan's screams of terror. I let the fear, the despair, and sadness wash over me. When I open my eyes, I feel a sense of resolve settle in my soul. “My mum gave everything she had to save my brother and I. And I owe it to her to do better. I could pretend things are different, but it's a fact that the day may come again where Dan needs protecting, and I have to be able to stand up. If I can learn how to use these cards, learn how to tap into them without risking my life, then that's one more tool I can use to keep my brother safe. He is why I'm here. I have to do whatever it takes to keep him safe.” Cyrus doesn't say much after that. He asks me some questions about how I cast the spell to start the fire and I talked him through what I said, he seemed interested that it worked even though my incantation was different. I reminded Cyrus that he still owes me an actual lesson, but not today. Using the Tarot card last night had wiped me out, and thinking about mum had also made me realise that it's been weeks since I had any quality time with Dan. So, we agreed to pick things up at our next lesson, and this time he'll wait for me inside the lobby like a sensible Faerie. The car ride home is awkward, the Faerie driving me seemed surprised to see Cyrus was okay. I wonder why they didn't do anything to help me last night when they saw he was ill, maybe he isn't as popular as I thought. At least they still came to pick me up, though it feels like they're paying me more attention than usual. I rush out the car as soon as it pulls up outside my home, and run in. I can hear Dan playing in the living room, and head straight to him picking him up and spinning him above my head. He giggles excitedly, he always loves it when I do this but it's getting harder to lift him up now he's getting older. “Indy!” He squeals excitedly. “Hey Bud, did ya miss me?” I say, bringing him down and into a hug. I feel his small arms wrap around me, squeezing tight. “Yeah” he murmurs into my shoulder “I always miss you when you're gone” there's a tremble in his voice and it breaks my heart. I hug him closer, and spin around until he starts to giggle again. “Well, I'm home now and I'm all yours for the rest of the day. We can play, or bake, or do whatever you like, okay bud?” I put Dan down and he starts running round me, like a giddy ball of energy. “Yay! Indy Day! Can we bake brownies?” he asks. I knew that was coming, he just wants to eat the melted chocolate. But, I can't deny him this, not when it's so easy to make him happy. “Let's do it” I say, reaching out for Dan to grab my hand. For today, I'll forget about everything else going on and focus on Dan. As I find our aprons in the kitchen, I realise how much I've missed the simplicity of just spending time with him. It's good to remind myself what I'm working to protect, and why I'm putting myself through all of this stress. “Right, let's get mixing!” I say, a wide grin on my face. I find the flour, eggs, cocoa powder and chocolate. We'll need to do a proper food shop soon but at least we have what we need for a batch of brownies. Dan helps me stir the dry ingredients together as I melt the chocolate. I give him the spoon to lick once the chocolate is all mixed in, and he immediately gets it all over his face. I hear Gran coming down the stairs as we put the brownies in the oven. She looks like she's been crying, and I wonder for a moment if she's been in mum's room. “Indigo, glad to see you home. How was Nat?” I turn to fiddle with the oven, taking a moment to catch my breath as I make sure it's set at the right temp. “She's good, we had a really good catch up. It was nice to get to have some ‘girl’ time”. I say half over my shoulder, trying my best to keep my tone even and casual. If Gran does suspect I'm lying, she doesn't say so. She just grabs mums old apron and heads to the sink. “That’s wonderful, I'm glad you're taking time for yourself. I see you and Dan have made some mess, why don't you go relax and I'll get the kitchen tidy and once your brownies are ready we can all have a cup of tea?” Gran says, she sounds genuinely happy for me, and I feel a twinge of guilt. “Sounds good” I say back. It's for the best, I'm as certain as I can be that Gran doesn't have the sight. She'd never believe me even if I did try to tell her the truth. At least I can give them days like today, a day where we can be a normal family. But I can feel the Tarot deck in my pocket, and I know that this isn't something that can last. The Faeries are out there, waiting for me, and I have to face them eventually.