Whispering Suits

I feel almost relieved, she doesn't sound angry so much as frustrated. “Nat..I'm sorry.” I say, while it's not usually a good idea to apologise to a Faerie I feel the situation warrants it. Nat has always been like family, and I need her on my side now more than ever. Nat just sits there with her arms crossed on the desk. It reminds me of when I used to be sent to the headmaster's office in school, I feel like a child about to be told off. Nat stays perfectly still, but I can feel the pain as it washes off her. “Why, Indy…” she asks, her voice quiet and cold. “Because I needed answers “ I say, my voice sounding harsher than expected. “You…you didn't want me to learn about the cards. And I know, I should have talked to you about it. But I needed to understand, I couldn't just let go of it not after what happened. I didn't plan for it to get this far, I thought I'd see what the offer was…but…the deal is made now. And I'm scared, I didn't know what I was getting myself into and now the courts are after me and I don't know what to do and I need you Nat… I need you to tell me it'll all be okay. I need to know that I still have you on my side.” The words come tumbling out in a rush. I feel the pressure release, like a valve finally being loosened, and the tears start falling. Nat stands and moves around the desk, pulling me in for a tight hug. I hadn't realised just how frightened I had been this whole time, not just of the threats the courts pose, but the fear that I might lose Nat because of what I've done. Nat rubs my hair the same way mum used to, and I cry into her these awful heavy sobs that hurt my chest. She makes ‘shhsh’ noises as I finally let it all out, the grief, the fear, the pain, I just let it all go. I cling onto Nat, my arms wrapping tight around her. “Of course I'm still on your side, I always will be Indy”. She says, her voice soft and warm again, like the tide lapping gently at the shore. “I just wish you hadn't felt the need to do this, or to hide it from me. I…I'm sorry you felt you couldn't trust me to tell you the truth. But, you've made a deal now. So, let's catch our breath, and then you’re going to tell me exactly what the terms of this deal are, and we'll see what we can do about this mess you've gotten yourself into”. She sits back down, handing me some tissues to blow my nose. She shuffles some bits around on her desk as I compose myself, then takes a deep breath. “Ready when you are” she says, and I can tell she's trying to stay calm. “Ok.” I say, thinking of where to even start. “So, the deal…I made a deal with the bartender from The Sun bar, his name is Cyrus, and the contract we made is that for the next six months he will give me lessons twice a week…to learn how to use The Tarot. In return, I will show him one tarot card of his choice per lesson. I did include a caveat that he can't use any Faerie charms on me, has to protect me to the best of his abilities, and that he can't touch my family. I'm only doing this because I think learning more about Faeries, and how to use The Tarot, might help me keep Dan safe…” Nat's face seems puzzled. She fiddles with her nails, a sign she is anxious. “hmm, unfortunately I've not really been involved with the courts for many centuries now…if anything I've gone out of my way to avoid them. But, Cyrus isn't a name I recognise. Is it possible he's given you a false name?” Nat asks. I shake my head confidently. “No. I asked him point blank for his true name, I don't believe he could have lied or given me a false one. And, since the bond of our contract was forged, I've not had any sense from him that he was lying about his name…but I do think he's hiding who he is from me”. I feel almost surprised by the certainty in my voice, and I'm glad I came to talk to Nat. She takes out a book from her top draw and flicks through the pages. “I think I helped a Summer Faerie not long ago, I'll have to do a little digging to track them down but they should have left the court recently enough to know who the big players are in the court. If you're lucky, then Cyrus will either be an Ace or a Page who acted above their station and this will all just blow over once the King feels he's regained his court's respect”. There's a hesitation, an edge to Nat's voice. “And, if I'm not lucky?” I ask, my voice rising nervously. Nat’s hand freezes mid page turn, the paper slipping between her thumb and finger. She doesn’t look up from the page, but I can see her hand is trembling in fear. “If you aren't lucky, then Cyrus will be a high ranking noble, and the courts will see his actions as a threat of war. They'll be out for blood, and anyone near you might get caught in the crossfire”. The room is quiet, the air still like it's waiting for a blade to drop. I can feel the tension prickling my skin. Without really thinking, I find my hand has reached into my pocket. The deck feels hot, like it’s been waiting in anticipation of this question. I feel two cards poke themselves out of the deck, but I know I’m only meant to pick one. The cards are giving me a choice. I close my eyes and let myself feel the energy, the vibrations, coming from the deck. I let my fingers pull on the card that feels right, even though I don’t know why. I can tell Nat is fixated on me, watching my every move, but somehow in this moment it’s just me and the cards. I pull the card into the light, and feel the weight of the room settle on me as I read the name aloud. “The Tower”.