Whispering Suits

Jonathan’s journal starts with an explanation of how he obtained the ability to see Faeries. It’s clear it was written after the event, and describes a party he attended where he met a beautiful woman that tempted him to go home with her, and the morning afterwards he woke up and found the woman now had this strange aura around her, and if he focused he could see that she wasn’t beautiful at all but was hideous and monstrous. It took him a few days to realise that he must have eaten or drank something which had blessed him with what he called ‘True Vision’. Jonathan writes about his initial experiences of viewing the world through this new lens, how he now saw buildings he was certain weren’t there before, or how he could see humans who at a second glance had tails and wings. The way he has written it, it all sounds quite fanciful. Almost like a child who's seeing in colour for the first time. I feel a little bad for the guy, he had no idea what he was getting into. Jonathan kept a track of his exchanges with various Fae the lessons he learnt, that cannot lie but will hide the truth. They like to deceive but are bound by some vow of honesty, if you can ask the right question in the right way, then you can win at their game. He also quickly discovered that Faeries like nothing more than amassing power, in the past they posed as members of the nobility, as Kings and Queens respected and honoured by humans. As centuries passed, they found new positions within society that gave them equal amounts of power and glory. The first thing that I find interesting is Jonathan's take on the Fae Hierarchy, which he describes as similar to bees. His journal explains that there are the ‘drones’, the lower ranks of Faeries who tend to have more of a connection to the season they are from like Frost Faeries, who are the very lowest level of Winter Fae and they only come to life for one winter before dying. Then, there are the ‘worker bees’, still lower ranks but more varied and with a less raw connection to the court, like Selkies who are part of the spring court but their survival is not tied to the season they come from. Then, you have the nobles, strong and powerful Faeries who rule over the four courts, and there are four main noble positions. The lowest of the court nobles is The Page, often a title bestowed by the current monarchs either to a prince/princess who is not in line to the throne or to one trusted of the court, like the King’s right hand. Next is The Knight, the title given to the current heir of the court. Then, we have the Queen, typically a title given to the spouse of the King, who is the head of the court and strongest Faerie for the season they represent. The titles Knight, Queen and King do not denote gender, but purely the position the Faeries hold. Jonathan found this out at great cost, his research into the Faeries drew the attention of one of the court monarchs, though he has decided not to state which one, only that seeing their true form made him realise that the ‘beautiful and wonderful’ world of Faeries he had been exploring was far darker and crueler than he had realised. After that experience, his journal devolves. There are whole pages where the writing has been scratched out, and then some where he's just drawn these strange squiggles and spirals. It looks like he's trying to draw something, maybe a Faerie he's seen? Or maybe a map? The brief bits of coherent writing talk about how since he ate the food, he hasn't been able to satisfy his hunger. Mortal food doesn't fill him, he has got return to what he calls ‘the Faeries Den’ every couple of days to partake in their food. It's clear the more chaotic sort of his journal are the days where he has tried to forgo eating the Faerie food, his need for it was driving him insane. Towards the end of the book, his writing has become more sporadic but he writes about finding the source of all Faeries and something he refers to only as ‘The Veil’. He describes how he ventures closer and closer to The Veil, how he feels drawn to it like a moth drawn to the flame. He wrote how he didn't want to give in to it, how he would try and stay away from the spot where he had found The Veil, but he saw it whenever he closed his eyes. it was there, like a calling, in the back of his mind. Until one day, he could no longer resist. He packed a bag, and he made his way into the land beyond The Veil. The Realm of Faerie. He describes a land filled with light, with rolling hills of vibrant greens, pinks and purples. There were creatures unlike anything he had seen beyond, Fae so beautiful and strange words could not describe. And in the distance, The White Castle. A building that reached and melded into the sky, made of stunning white marble that shone with a light made up of colours he couldn't name. Jonathan signed off his journal with the Authors note, and placed it back through The Veil into the mortal world. What happened to him after that, I will likely never know. What I know is this, the last spark of mortality in him left this behind in hopes that he might be able to spare someone else from his gruesome fate. Dealing with the Faeries leads to madness or desolation, and it's all too easy to find yourself too far down the path to turn back. I close the journal and place it on my lap, the leather feels warm and I wonder how many years have gone by since Jonathan wrote these words. How long has he spent trapped in the eternity that is The Realm of Faerie. I finish my tea, and leave the cafe. Thanks to Jonathan, I now know what the price of my journey may be, now I have to decide if it's one I'm willing to pay. When I get home, Dan and Gran are already in the kitchen and Dan's been helping with whatever Gran is cooking and is covered in flour. They're laughing about something, and I stay in the door afraid I'll intrude on their happiness. I try to sneak past to the stairwell, but Gran spots me and shouts out. “Oh Indigo! You're home, wonderful. Dan and I have been making dinner, I thought a stew might be nice but well, the dumplings caused a little bit of trouble. Would you mind taking Dan upstairs for a bath? By the time you’re done, food should be ready” she says, her tone light and welcoming. Before I can reply, Dan runs over excitedly. “Yeah! Bath time with Indy!”. He runs upstairs and I follow, he's nearly too old for this so I suppose I should enjoy these moments while they last. I run the bath, making sure to get the water to a good hot-but-not-too-hot temperature and add loads of Dan's favourite bubble bath. It smells like bubblegum candy and makes the bath this crazy bright blue colour. I stop the tap just as Dan runs in half dressed, and I quickly turn my back so he can get undressed and into the bath. “I'm in!” He squeals in delight, and I turn to the sight of him popping bubbles and giving himself a bubble-beard. I plop the toilet seat lid closed and sit on it, leaning on my knees slightly for balance. Watching him splash about, I wonder when he got so big. I remember mum bringing him home from the Hospital, he was so small and when mum let me hold him he'd wrapped his tiny hand around my little finger and squeezed. Now, he's nearly eight and almost too big for his older sister to look after him. Not that we've ever worried about those kinds of labels, I'm Indy and he's Dan and we are family and that's all that's ever mattered. After a little bit, Dan gives me a look and points towards the shampoo bottle. Mum always did this with him, helped wash his curly hair so it didn't end up tangled and matted. I nod, not able to find the words, and pick the bottle up and move closer to the tub. I apply a dollop of the shampoo to his hair and gently rub it in, making sure not to let any fall in his eyes. He giggles as I take the opportunity to tickle him slightly. Then, I tip his head out and use the old cup on the side to help rinse the shampoo out. The conditioner is next, and I leave that to soak in while Dan focuses on washing his body. We rinse his hair again, and then the distinct smell of Stew begins to drift upstairs and the scent makes me drool slightly, it smells good. I help Dan out of the tub and give him a towel to dry off, making sure to pull the plug so he doesn't just climb back into the warm water. I leave him in the bathroom for a second and go grab a pair of PJ's from his room, then pop my head back into the bathroom and hand him the clothes. He's getting more confident in dressing himself, but still needs a hand with the two buttons on his pj top. Then, he sits on the toilet seat lid so that I can sort his hair out. I make sure to give it a good dry with the towel first, then use some coconut curling cream stuff mum bought to help with detangling and then slowly and carefully brush out his hair. Once it's all brushed, I find one of his bonnets in the bathroom cabinet and pop it onto his head. Dinner flies by, I think the exhaustion of the day finally hits me, and once I have a belly full of warm stew I feel very much how Dan looks, ready for bed and a good night's sleep. I offer to carry him upstairs, Gran might not be really old but even she would struggle to get him upstairs on her own. I tuck him in bed, and give him a quick kiss on the head. Despite the warnings and clear danger in Jonathan's journals, when I'm with Dan I feel this new resolve to stick to the plan. I need to keep him safe, whatever the cost. I head to bed, and try not to think about the days ahead.