Rainstorm

Rain cried that morning in bed while the neighbor Julia had hired to babysit her watched TV downstairs. How could her life have changed so horribly—and so fast? She felt so trapped and depressed that she was actually starting to contemplate suicide. She missed Troy terribly. Her heart ached at the thought of never again seeing his face, talking to him, experiencing life with him, touching him… Now she was with a woman she liked very much—but not in the way she was obviously starting to be liked. Her daughter might be a bitch, but she’d been smart enough to see it before Rain had. Maybe she’d been slow to catch on because she not only hadn’t thought the doctor would go for a woman, but she also wouldn’t have guessed she’d be her type. Didn’t women usually like women around their own age—and with similar professions? As much as Rain hated her present situation, she felt powerless to change it. She couldn’t bring Troy back, and she couldn’t afford a place of her own—not that she was sure she’d be any happier alone. If anything, that might drive her even crazier if she didn’t have anyone to talk to. Better to be lonely than alone, right? Her smartphone rang with her latest ringtone, and she snatched it up off the nightstand. It was Nurse Elizabeth, calling with the latest numbers. She also wanted to know how Rain was doing. News traveled fast. “I—I guess I’m okay,” Rain couldn’t keep her voice steady. “Are you sure, sweetie?” Rain hesitated. “Actually, I’m not sure of anything right now.” “According to your chart, you have an appointment tomorrow with Doctor Santiago.” “Yes, I do.” “Be sure to tell her exactly how you’re feeling, hun. It’s very important.” “I don’t know. Being too forthright with my feelings has a way of backfiring on me, and I don’t want anybody getting the wrong idea.” “Oh no, not at all. We’re here for you. Your appointment is in the afternoon, I see.” “Yeah, Doc Linden is going to drop me off, and then I’m taking the bus back to her house because she has other obligations.” “Oh, you’re with Doctor Linden now?” “Yes. I can’t afford to stay anywhere else right now, and the duplex my husband and I were living in is a crime scene—as I’m sure you know. Not that I could stand to stay there for a second anyway.” “I hear you, hun,” Nurse Elizabeth said, sounding sympathetic. Rain hesitated. “Something is… well, she’s not… I better not say. Not now. I’ll talk to Doctor Santiago tomorrow—not that I expect anyone to believe me.” “Believe what?” “Strange things are happening.” “I’m sure that with all you’ve been through, nothing seems as it should right now.” “You don’t understand. It goes deeper than that. Something isn’t right, but I don’t want to get into it. Julia will be home any second, and I have to deal with contacting Troy’s family, the papers to release his body for a medical study—as he wished—along with eventually cleaning out the duplex and figuring out what to do next.” “Okay, hun. I’ll let you go, but don’t forget your appointment tomorrow afternoon. And don’t be afraid to let her know how you’re feeling.” “I will, Elizabeth. Thanks for calling.” Rain had just ended the call when the doctor stepped into the room. She hadn’t even heard her car pull up or her ascending the stairs. She hadn’t heard her talking to the neighbor downstairs, either. Maybe she’d jumped outside to meet her at the front door. “What’s wrong?” the doctor asked as Rain brushed tears from her face. “Nothing. I just can’t stop crying.” “That’s not nothing. Who were you talking to?” “Nurse Elizabeth. She called to give me my numbers—which are decent enough—and to remind me of tomorrow’s appointment.” “The good numbers are nice, but why would she remind you about tomorrow’s appointment?” “I don’t know,” Rain said with a shrug. “We got to talking about what happened, and it came up. I guess she’s worried about me. After all, my world has turned itself upside down and inside out rather quickly, hasn’t it?” Rain wasn’t sure why, but the doctor seemed to eye her suspiciously—as if she didn’t trust what she might have told the nurse. That was okay, though. She had her own suspicions. She just wasn’t sure what they were yet. Julia seemed unsure of what to say next. Then she finally said, “Want to get out of here for a while? Maybe go out to eat?” “I’m not hungry, but if you are, I’ll tag along.” Anything to distract her from the evil thoughts racing through her mind. ________________________________________ The following afternoon, Rain sat in Doctor Santiago’s cold examination room, waiting to see her after the nurse finished taking her vitals. The doctor finally entered, greeting her with a professional smile. Even in her misery, Rain couldn’t help but notice—again—how much shorter the doctor was than her. “How are you today?” she asked. Rain opened her mouth to answer but instead burst into tears. The doctor let her cry, eyeing her with concern. “Something’s wrong. Very wrong.” “I heard about what happened to your husband,” the doctor confessed, “and I am so very sorry. I also know you had some rather traumatic experiences not too long ago in your home state.” Dammit. How much had Julia told her? “Th-that’s not it.” The doctor looked confused. “What’s not it? Did something else happen?” “Something’s wrong with Doctor Linden.” The doctor blinked in surprise. “Something’s wrong with her?” Rain nodded. “You know I’m staying with her, don’t you?” “Actually, no, I didn’t. I knew you’d moved in across the street from her and that she’d referred you to someone else.” Rain took the tissue offered to her and dabbed at her eyes. “She took me in when my husband was killed. I couldn’t stay there anyway, and—honestly—I can’t afford a place on my own right now.” “That was very kind of her to take you in.” “No,” Rain said, shaking her head vehemently. “Please promise to keep this between us.” “What’s that?” “I was flattered at first by how much she seemed to care, but something’s wrong with her.” “Something is wrong? What do you think is wrong?” The doctor asked, still confused. “It’s like she’s doing something to me.” Confusion still clouded the doctor’s brown eyes. “What do you think she’s doing to you?” “I don’t know. I just don’t know. I almost feel like I did when I was on that awful Prozac.” “But you must remember you’ve been through so very much.” “It’s more than that. I know it sounds crazy, but there’s something else going on—something beyond the normal grieving, sadness, and anger you’d expect after your spouse is brutally murdered.” The doctor gazed at her, unsure of what to say next. Rain burst into tears again, not caring how she sounded. She knew her paranoia was justly founded. “We could always try some type of temporary mood elevator to help pull you out of your depression—” “No. No way. What I need right now isn’t more pills. I’m just so scared, Doc. I know she’s doing something.” “But what could she be doing—and why? I don’t understand,” Doctor Santiago said, clearly not believing her. Rain shrugged. “I don’t understand, either. Only she knows what she’s up to.” “So you’re saying you think she’s secretly drugging you?” “She knows how the Prozac affected me,” Rain said, hearing how crazy it sounded even to her. “It’s like she wants me to feel that way all over again. Like she wants to be the hero who saves me—or something.” “Saves you from what?” Rain thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I just don’t know. All I know is that something deep in my gut tells me to get out of that house as fast as I can. She could get Prozac if she really wanted to.” “It’s not as easy as you may think, but—actually—I do agree it might be best to leave the house.” Rain’s first thought was that Doctor Santiago felt weird about her staying with a fellow physician she knew. But then she realized what the doctor meant. “Oh, so you want me to move into the loony bin instead?” “Well,” the doctor said, choosing her words carefully, “it’s not that you’re a loony, of course, but you are having a very hard time right now, and I am worried about you.” “I’m not going to kill myself, Doc.” “Have you thought about it?” Rain opened her mouth to speak—then closed it. She didn’t exactly want to lie to her doctor, did she?