No Escape

The next morning, after returning from breakfast in the cafeteria, Shania headed for the phone. “Oh, no you don’t,” said Victoria, walking quickly toward Shania. “You’re on restriction.” Shania’s hand froze on the receiver. “What for? Since when?” “Since last night, from what the report stated that I read this morning when I came on duty.” “Gee, let me guess,” Shania said sarcastically. “Certainly it can’t be for exposing good old Doc Hoffritz for what he’s really made of in Group last night, could it?” “Look, young lady. I have my orders and—” “And I have to call my lawyer so they too can expose the piece of shit for what he is!” snapped Shania, cutting Victoria off. “Miss McCarthy, you’re just going to have to obey the rules here, okay?” “No, it’s not okay. I didn’t do anything to deserve to be put on restriction any more than I did anything to be thrown in here in the first place!” Shania was becoming angrier by the minute. Maybe kissing ass wasn’t the way out of here after all. Without thinking, she turned and headed for the exit. “Come back here this minute!” Victoria ordered. Shania glanced back just long enough to see that two more staff members, who had heard the shouts, now stood beside Victoria. “Come and get me,” she taunted, still moving down the corridor. “Because I’m not about to make this bullshit commitment easy on anybody involved!” She took off further down the corridor and was almost to the end of it when Lauren rounded the corner in front of her. Shania turned to shout once more behind her. “Stay away from me! Just stay the fuck away from me!” Lauren stepped out toward the center of the corridor to block her. “Hold on there now, girl. Just calm down, okay?” she said. Shania was now in tears of utter frustration. She felt weak from her efforts to run from a situation that seemed bleaker by the moment, with seemingly no escape. Victoria and the other staff were now at her side. She tried to push past Lauren, but Lauren held her firmly in place. “Just relax,” she told her. “Everything’s going to be alright.” She looked at the others. “I’ll take her into my office from here.” “There you go. Things aren’t so bad after all,” Victoria said with a fixed smile and a tone that suggested she was relieved to know she wouldn’t have to deal with her any longer. Shania, seeing no other way out between the staff, locked doors, and barred windows, gave Victoria one last glare and allowed herself to be gently led by Lauren to a room next to the one in which she’d met with the clinical evaluator. Still sobbing, she observed the room once she stepped inside it. It didn’t have the cold, impersonal feel of the evaluator’s room. Instead, it had a cozier, friendlier atmosphere, despite all the clutter about it. “Have a seat,” said Lauren. Shania sat, as did Lauren, but rather than sitting at her desk, Lauren sat in a chair across from her, just a few feet away. Their feet almost touched. “What’s up, Shania?” Shania studied Lauren’s intense and distinct yet soft features, trying to calm her sobs. Lauren’s dark eyes gazed back at her blue ones with both concern and curiosity. She had a calm gentleness about her that put Shania at ease, to say nothing of the fact that she was quite attracted to her. She’d known this from the start when they’d first met in Group, but this meeting would only serve to confirm and intensify that fact. “It’s okay,” coaxed Lauren. “I’m a good listener.” Shania scrutinized Lauren a moment longer, shook her head, and rose from her seat. “You may be a good listener, but you can’t help me,” she said, sauntering over to the window which overlooked the courtyard. She saw one patient sitting at a picnic table reading a book while another patient and a staff member sat talking at another table as they puffed on cigarettes. “Perhaps not, but I can at least listen, can’t I?” Shania turned back to face Lauren. What a body! “But can you believe me?” She sat back down in her chair and faced the therapist, who now sat forward with her elbows on her knees. “Depends on what you have to say.” A staff member named Enrique stuck his head in the door. “Yes?” Lauren asked. “Everything okay in here?” he asked with a thick Hispanic accent. “Fine,” Lauren replied with a nod. Enrique nodded as well and left. Then Lauren turned her attention back to Shania. “Anyway, if you tell me you’re from planet Mars, then no, I’m not going to believe you.” “If I told you Hoffritz’s niece used him to get me committed here out of spite, would you believe that?” Lauren looked thoughtful for a moment. “Doctor Hoffritz and his niece, huh?” Shania nodded. “Forget it. I mean, what difference does it make if you believe me or not? You still can’t help me.” Lauren sat back in her chair and folded her arms comfortably across her chest. “I’d like to hear about it anyway. All I know is that when I asked about you, they told me you threatened the mayor and then his niece or something like that.” “Yeah, or something like that,” Shania said sarcastically. Then she caught herself. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t take it out on you.” Lauren’s full lips parted in a smile of understanding. “It’s okay,” she said softly, eyes glistening with emotion. But what emotion? Concern? Humor? Hatred? She was hard to figure, although at the same time—unless it was just pure wishful thinking—the therapist really did seem to be filled with genuine concern for her. Telling herself it was merely part of her job, Shania told Lauren about meeting Hoffritz at the party, about the promotion, then about Maureen using her computer. “The public defender urged me to go along with the DA, assuring me I’d be out of here in just a few days and that that would be better than jail, but somehow I doubt I’m going to get out of this mess anytime soon.” When she was done, Lauren sat silently, absorbing what she’d been told for a minute or two. “Well?” prompted Shania. “Do you believe me?” Lauren had been staring into space, deep in thought. She glanced back toward Shania. “I don’t know. You seem to be pretty sound of mind with no reason to lie about this, but I don’t know. I’ve got to admit that while my gut instinct says good things about you, I don’t know you very well, and even the best of us psychologists get fooled on occasion. I once counseled a guy who was depressed and angry. After a while, he came to be a seemingly brilliant, enthusiastic, and compassionate person.” Shania listened intently. “Then one day, he held up a bank. Killed five people before a sniper could finally take him out.” “Wow,” said Shania. “You know what, though?” “What’s that?” asked Lauren with a slight smile. “I wish I were joking.” Lauren nodded with understanding. “So tell me, have you ever heard anything shady said about Hoffritz?” Lauren shook her head. “No, I haven’t. I haven’t heard anything bad about anyone here, to be honest with you.” They sat in silence for a moment, then Shania said, “I was trying to call a lawyer that my roommate found, so we could get together for a consultation. That’s what all the fuss was about.” She then told Lauren about last night and how she came to learn that she was on restriction when she went to place the call. “And they didn’t even tell you all the reasons you were supposedly brought in here until the next day?” “That’s correct. I didn’t find out until Michael came to fetch me when I first met you at the group therapy meeting. The night I got here, I spotted Hoffritz a ways down a corridor. When I called out to him, he acted like he’d never seen me before in his life.” “And this was at night?” Shania nodded. “Just before ten PM.” “Hmmm, that’s awfully late for him to be working,” Lauren said, brows furrowed. “Bet I can make a damn good guess as to why he was here that late.” “Perhaps you can,” Lauren said. Then, “Are you married?” Shania shook her head. “Any kids?” Again, she shook her head. “Boyfriends? Family?” “I’m gay,” Shania said matter-of-factly. “You don’t have a problem with that, do you?” “Hardly,” Lauren said with a laugh. “As for my family, they’re dead, which is another thing the sick bastard is using as ammunition against me.” Lauren continued to listen and study Shania as she spoke. “He’s saying I was a suspect in their deaths, which is total bullshit, of course. I was fifteen years old when it happened.” “Do you mind telling me about it?” Shania hesitated, then took a deep breath. “An old family friend who was a therapist herself said I was suffering from survivor’s guilt. As a therapist yourself, you must know something about that.” Lauren nodded. Shania inhaled deeply again before recalling the night of terror in which her whole family had been wiped out. One she could never and would never forget, no matter how long she lived. “My little sister Wendy was ten, and my little brother Nathan was just seven at the time. I don’t know if my father forgot to put new batteries in the smoke detector or if it just malfunctioned. All I know is that I woke up one night choking on smoke. My parents managed to call the fire department, but it was too late. The entire first floor of the house was engulfed in flames. I was the first one the firefighters were able to rescue by way of sending a ladder up to my bedroom window. By the time they got to the others, they were gone. Smoke inhalation had killed them. Then I later learned that faulty wiring was the cause of the fire. It was a very old house, too.” Lauren’s eyes were misty with empathy. She softly said, “That must’ve been hard. And to happen so young, too. Who did you live with afterward?” “That family friend. Her name was Elizabeth. She died just last year of a stroke.” “How awful.” “Now I’m the only one left. It’s just me and my friend Mindy. I’ve had a few girlfriends along the way, but they didn’t amount to much. In between all this, I worked my way up at the medical coding company, and this is what I get for it.” She leaned forward, put her face in her hands, and began to cry in utter despair. A moment later, she felt a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She gave a slight jump. Not because it made her uncomfortable in any way, but because she wasn’t expecting it. It surprised her just how much Lauren seemed to care. “I’m sorry,” Lauren said quickly, sitting back in her chair. “Oh, no. It’s okay,” said Shania. “Did you get along with your family and with Elizabeth?” Shania nodded. “They were wonderful people.” Lauren smiled. “Well, that’s good.” “Like I tried to tell them, I have no history of abuse or psychological problems.” “You never felt suicidal?” “No, but if I suddenly knew I was about to cease to exist, I doubt I’d put up much of a fight. Death just might be more of a blessing right now than anything. After all, I lost my freedom, and of course, there’s no way I could return to my job, so why not drop dead?” Shania again put her face in her hands. “Shania. Oh, Shania?” She looked up at Lauren. “Be careful what you say around here.” Shania considered Lauren’s advice. “A psychologist is better trained to recognize just how serious one is about the things they say, but some of these staff members may take you quite seriously.” “In other words, if I don’t literally mean it, keep my mouth shut?” Lauren nodded with a smile, drawing a slight smile from Shania as well. “Feel better?” “A little.” “Good.” Lauren leaned forward in her chair again for emphasis. “Now, just keep your cool and call that lawyer as soon as you can.” Shania nodded, trying not to blush. Lauren’s face was just inches from her own. She suddenly felt like an open book, like those dark, mysterious eyes could see right through her. Lauren then stood up from her chair. “Alright, then. I have to see someone else now, but I’ll be seeing you again real soon, okay?” Shania nodded. “I think I’d like that.” Lauren, now jotting something down at her desk, grinned as if she found that statement to be amusing. Shania was just about to step out into the hall when she turned back to face Lauren. “Call the lawyer?” Lauren looked up at her and nodded. “Does that mean you believe me?” “I guess it means I can at least give you the benefit of the doubt.” Shania smiled. “Thanks, Lauren. See you later.” “Bye.” Shania made her way down the short hallway and rounded the corner to the long one just as a scruffy blond woman approached her from that direction. “Is Lauren in her office?” she asked. “Yes,” Shania told her, watching the woman walk past her and disappear around the corner. “You can’t make me take those fucking drugs!” she suddenly heard a man scream. She stopped dead in her tracks and looked straight ahead. Allen was yelling at a nurse who was accompanied by a handful of staff members. “Allen,” lectured the nurse, “the courts have ordered—” “I don’t care what the courts have ordered!” Allen screamed. “The shit makes me drowsy as hell, and it dries my mouth up so bad it feels like someone shoved sand in it.” With most of the staff preoccupied with Allen, Shania gingerly made her way to the phone. She snatched up the receiver with one hand and yanked out the piece of paper with the lawyer’s number from her pocket with the other. Then she quickly punched in the number. An answering machine picked up, and a stern-sounding woman began to speak, telling her callers to leave their name, number, and reason for calling. “Hi, my name is Shania McCarthy. I’m having trouble getting to the phone here at Lakeview because of all the problems Doctor Hoffritz has been causing me, as I’m sure my roommate Mindy filled you in on. Please, I need your help. Visiting hours are from one to six PM. I really appreciate any help you could give me, and I hope to see you soon.” Shania hung up the phone and darted further up the corridor, then zipped across to where her room was. Too late. “Miss McCarthy?” Shania spun around to find Victoria behind her. “Yes?” “You need to report to the lounge.” “The lounge?” “Yes, for art therapy.” “Oh,” Shania said, releasing a sigh of relief. “Right. Art therapy. I’m on my way.” She headed toward the lounge, glancing back once to find Victoria staring at her with suspicion.