No Escape

The next morning, Shania entered the building feeling somewhat apprehensive, half-hoping that Miss Daly had reconsidered and changed her mind. She wanted the raise that went with the promotion, but not the hostile work environment she had a feeling she was in for. She knew she could quit, but she didn’t want to work elsewhere for the same reasons the others didn’t – the pay was good, the benefits were good, and the hours were flexible. “Hi, Boss,” Tim greeted her with a smile when she entered the building. “I don’t know if ‘Boss’ is a suitable title for me, but hi yourself,” Shania told him. Tim was young and ambitious. His good looks and good sense of humor attracted all kinds of ladies. Perhaps this was why Shania was surprised he had once asked her to dinner. She knew she was no ugly duckling, though she never considered herself to be that attractive either, with her dark-blue eyes, sandy-brown hair and too-short body. At five feet, a hundred and ten pounds, she wasn’t much to look at. At least she didn’t think she was. Nonetheless, Tim was a true ladies’ man: good-looking, smooth-talking and full of confidence. He seemed to have enough social life for ten people. Normally, Shania would find that combination extremely annoying, but Tim possessed so much natural charm that she genuinely liked him. When he had asked to take her out to dinner, she’d almost accepted but knew she shouldn’t. Shania had always been attracted to women. Oddly enough, she never really thought of herself as gay. She was just a woman who liked women. She would sometimes dwell on her perception of herself. Was she ashamed to be gay? No. Was she worried about how society would view her? No. Was she a man trapped in a woman’s body? Definitely not! She was a woman who liked women. Maybe someday she would find the right therapist to help her sort it all out. In the end, she had declined Tim’s invitation—not just because of her no-mixing-business-with-pleasure rule, but because she liked women. She didn’t exactly expect to find Miss Right and live happily ever after with her, but she wouldn’t settle either. She’d met many who insisted that looks didn’t matter, but to her, while looks weren’t everything, they at least counted for something. She simply couldn’t imagine being with someone for whom she felt no attraction, and while Tim might be a nice guy, she’d never really been attracted to members of the opposite sex. Instead, she found the more feminine touch to be appealing. Not an overly feminine touch, nor an overly masculine touch, but a touch that was somewhere in between. “Before you know it, you’ll be Southern California’s top businesswoman,” Tim went on. “Don’t count on it,” Shania said, noting Gary’s hostile expression as he sat at his desk observing them. She could see he felt bad for Maureen—and so did she—but hey, it wasn’t her damn fault! Shania shifted her gaze away from the stocky and not-very-good-looking Gary. Given how small the place was, with just the reception area, bathroom, tiny kitchenette, and Miss Daly’s office, she could see that the woman scorned had yet to arrive. “Oh, don’t you look nice,” she suddenly heard from behind her. She turned and stepped into Miss Daly’s office, glancing down quickly at her silk plum-colored blouse, white skirt, and plum-colored pumps. “Thank you,” Shania replied. “Miss Daly, about the other day…” “Oh, yes,” Rita said with a smile. “You’ll make a fine leader here. And don’t you worry about Maureen. She’s just spoiled, is all. She’ll get over it. She needs to learn patience in the meantime anyway.” Shania heard the front door open, which she could see from her vantage point in the dusty, cluttered office. Maureen had arrived. She wore a pearl-white blouse with a short black-and-white checked skirt and black pumps. Her bright red hair was pulled back in a French braid. She looked just as angry as she had yesterday. “You’re late,” Rita called out. Without a word, Maureen went straight to her desk, tossing her purse onto it and herself into her chair. Gary eyed Maureen with sympathy while Tim eyed her with the same look. For the remainder of the day, Maureen ignored her completely, refusing to even make eye contact, let alone conversation. Shania was just as silent. She’d already said everything that could possibly be said. Besides, the more Maureen gave her the cold shoulder, the more Shania thought she was childish and a sore loser. Perhaps Maureen was as spoiled as Miss Daly said she was. Ignoring Maureen’s immature behavior, Shania set to work inputting medical codes and doing various other tasks. In between, she oversaw the others with their work. Maureen acted as if Shania weren’t even present, though she did as she was told. Perhaps this was only because Miss Daly observed her every move that day. Despite Miss Daly’s constant praise, Shania was never more relieved than when the clock finally struck 5:00 and she could head out for the bus stop. Home in the two-bedroom apartment she shared with her friend Mindy, she headed straight for the bathroom where she began to draw herself a gardenia-scented bubble bath. There was nothing like a bubble bath followed by a good cup of chamomile when she was troubled. She was grateful for the fact that Mindy, a swimming instructor, didn’t get home until an hour after she did. She had met the tall, blue-eyed blond girl about a year ago at the apartment complex’s pool when Mindy was visiting a friend who lived at the complex. The two happened to be sitting on lounge chairs right next to each other when they introduced themselves and struck up a conversation. They had hit it off from the get-go, each discovering that the other was gay, though not each other’s type as far as lovers were concerned. Mindy, who was as feminine as Shania was, wanted a more masculine type of woman, while Shania wanted one not quite as feminine as she was, though definitely more feminine than masculine. Still, the girls had liked each other well enough to become friends and eventually share an apartment together. It saved them money to share a two-bedroom versus having their own studio apartments. The two friends had a lot in common. They both liked the same kinds of movies and music. They read the same kinds of books and even liked the same foods. The only real difference, besides their appearances, was that Mindy had a very close, loving family. Shania had also come from a very close-knit, loving family—it's just that they were all dead now. She squeezed her eyes shut tight. Despite the number of people who had assured her over the years that their deaths weren’t her fault, she’d carried a weight of guilt upon her shoulders throughout the years just the same. Blinking away images of her parents’ jovial faces and the faces of her little sister and brother, she began to undress and stuff her sweaty clothes in the hamper. She stopped to gaze at her naked body in her full-length mirror before returning to the bathroom. Although she knew she was a bit hard on herself, she couldn’t help but mentally critique what she saw. Her breasts were too small, her waist was too wide, and she needed to trim her ample patch of pubic hair. She could use a good six more inches of height, too. Then again, if she met a woman she thought might be relationship material, she wanted the woman to be taller than her. Weren’t her chances of meeting a taller woman rather high with her standing barely five feet tall? After her bath, her body felt refreshed, though her mind still churned with worry. She pulled on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and began to contemplate her options. She could quit her job or stick it out longer in the hopes that Maureen would accept Miss Daly’s decision. She dreaded the thought of working in such a depressing atmosphere. No, she decided. I will not quit. If Miss Daly decided I was fit to be a leader, then I am, and if Maureen can’t handle that, it’s not my problem. We can’t always have our way in life. Period. So she’ll just have to accept the decision as I have and live with it! If she can’t deal with it, then she should be the one to quit, not me. It wasn’t really the job itself that excited her; it was the feeling of being a success. Although Shania was only twenty-three years old, she had a growing sense of discouragement with life. She had tried community college for a few semesters but couldn’t find a direction. Her social life wasn’t any better; it had been nonexistent for some time now. Now, however, she saw an opportunity for many new doors to possibly open. Feeling better at having resolved the matter in her mind, Shania curled up on the sofa with a good book until Mindy came in. “Hello,” said Shania, glancing up at Mindy. Her friend was wearing cut-off jeans and her favorite tie-dye shirt. She kept her hair short so she could gather it up into a bathing cap more easily. “Hi there. How’d it go today?” asked Mindy, heading into her bedroom that was just off the living room. “So-so,” Shania called after her. “Either way, I’m feeling less and less bad for Maureen with the way she’s being such a spoiled little brat over the whole thing.” “Just hang in there,” Mindy said with encouragement. “She’ll get over it.” “Yes, I think she will. The question is when?” “Soon. Have you eaten dinner yet?” “No, why?” “Want to split a pizza?” “Sure.” With that, they ordered a medium pizza, half of it topped with pepperoni for Mindy, the other half topped with chicken and black olives for Shania. Maureen was still furious. It just wasn’t right. She should be the one with the promotion. If anyone deserved Shania’s job, it was her. Alone in her townhouse, she paced the floor of her living room in distress. Finally, she reached for the phone and dialed her uncle. Her uncle, Jonas Hoffritz, was a shrink who was head of the local psychiatric clinic. He would help her. “Hello?” “Uncle Jonas?” “Yes, Maureen. How are you?” “Not so good. Remember that girl you were talking to at the birthday party we threw for my boss? The short one with long, light-brown hair?” “Yes, I believe I do.” She filled her uncle in on the situation at work. “It is so, so unfair,” she concluded, “and if anyone deserves to be committed to the hospital, it’s her.” The doctor tried to reassure his young niece. “Now, now, don’t you worry, sweetheart. Everything will work out. You’ll get your promotion sooner or later.” “Will I? I don’t know about that. The boss is so focused on this smug little bitch that she can’t seem to see her other employees. Especially the ones who deserve to move up. Everything to her is Shania this, Shania that. I think she just feels bad for her because of what happened to her family, and that’s not fair. We’ve all had our share of drama growing up, so one’s past shouldn’t matter.” “You think that’s a factor in the decision your boss made?” “Yes, I really do. And I’m worried about Shania because deep down underneath all that professionalism, I know she’s crazy. I’m not kidding when I say she should be in the hospital, Uncle Jonas.” “I understand how you feel, dear, and while she may be a bit unstable, she’s not a threat to either herself or someone else. The kinds of people at the clinic are like that. For instance, just last night, a man was committed for threatening his ex-wife if she didn’t take him back. When she refused, he went and burned her parents’ house down, promising that her house, the one they shared when they were married, would be next if she failed to comply with his wishes.” Maureen twisted the phone cord in her hand in frustration. “So that’s what it would take, huh? Something as serious as a threat?” “Or someone who at least perceives her as a potential threat.” “Hmmm,” Maureen said, ideas churning in her mind.