Love in Disguise

“Those bruises look awful. We’ve got to do something about this nut,” Mary said later at her house. We had stored my stuff in the guesthouse we’d fixed up for me to reside in until I could get back on my feet. Meanwhile, Mary and her husband José would have a ready and available babysitter anytime they needed one. “The only thing we can do has been done, and that was to get me away from her. Meanwhile, the cops aren’t going to do squat. She’s one of their own.” We were in Mary’s large living room, sitting side by side on her plush couch, which I had always thought was so comfortable. I glanced around the beautiful, spacious, sunny room appreciatively, aware of her concerned eyes on me. “You always decorated so well,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. Mary chuckled. “I try.” “Yes, I dig your taste in decor, gal pal.” Try as I might, no amount of small talk could ease the pain I was feeling. I could no longer hold back. It was as if a dam had burst, hurling forth gallons of tears I’d stored up. I cried hysterically. Mary gathered me into her arms. “Now, now. Everything will be okay. You’ll see, honey. In fact, I’ll let you in on a little secret.” “What’s that?” I managed to choke out, still sobbing uncontrollably. “We’re planning a trip to California the day after tomorrow. We’ll be gone for a week. Why don’t you come with us?” I pulled back and looked at her. How I appreciated her! She was the best friend I’d ever had. I knew she’d do anything for me. “That’s so sweet of you to offer, but I couldn’t do that.” “The kids would love it if you came along, and of course, you’d be giving me better peace of mind.” “I know that,” I said hesitantly. “It’s just that I feel it’s very important, now more than ever, that I get on with my life. You know, make dolls, do a little dancing on the side to supplement that, make money, get a place of my own. I mean, I know I could just live in your guesthouse and start paying you rent, but I don’t want to do that to you or to myself. That little cottage is a guesthouse, not an apartment. If you wanted it to be an apartment, you’d have rented it out a long time ago. So thanks, but no thanks. I really have to move on before I can think of taking a vacation.” “I just worry about you being all alone here and that Kya’s going to come looking for you and maybe even kill you.” “I doubt she’d go that far. After all, Laci survived Kya, as did God knows how many others, so I will, too.” “I understand where you’re coming from,” said Mary. “Remember, I’ve been in abusive relationships myself.” “Go and have a good time. We’ll keep in touch every day,” I assured her. “You bet we will,” she said with emphasis. “I promise to call every evening at 7:00 on the dot.” “Ok.” We were quiet for a few minutes, each lost in our own thoughts. “I’m still worried that she’ll come here,” Mary finally said. “Yeah, me too, but I still have to get on with my life.” That night, we all had a wonderful dinner of steamed clams, scallops, and shrimp, baked stuffed mushrooms, and steak fries. This was topped off with the best chocolate cake I’d ever tasted. I listened to José and Mary talk about their work while the kids, Murphy and Gretchen, chatted excitedly about their upcoming trip to San Diego. “We’re going to the zoo!” Murphy exclaimed, eyes twinkling with anticipation. Afterward, since Mary wouldn’t let me help clear the table or clean the kitchen, I let the kids show me their many toys in their rooms. At 8:30, the kids were put to bed, and José and Mary sat down to watch some TV with tea and hot cocoa. They told me I was welcome to join them, but I declined. As nerve-wracking as the thought of going out all alone to the guesthouse was, I knew I had to get it over with sooner or later. I couldn’t huddle by Mary’s side forever. Besides, could she or José protect me if Kya came storming over? I didn’t think so. “Remember,” Mary said as I was about to leave, “the key with the yellow dot is this house, and the one with the pink dot is your place.” “Ok, and thanks again so much. I love you both for rescuing me and giving me a place to stay.” “No problem,” said José. “Would you like me to walk you over there?” “No thanks. I think I’ll be a big girl and head on out myself. Good night.” “Good night,” they said simultaneously. I walked through the kitchen and stepped out the back door into the warm evening. I stood there, allowing my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I scanned the property, seeing nothing suspicious. Nervously, I began the one-hundred-and-fifty-foot walk to the little guesthouse. My heart seemed to pump faster with every step. I felt vulnerable as terrifying thoughts of Kya jumping out of the shadows from behind a tree or hedge taunted my brain. I knew anyone could be crouched down, hiding among the bushes that hugged the guesthouse’s outer walls. Then, just when I thought I’d never reach the guesthouse door, I did. Trying to steady my shaky hands, I inserted the proper key into the keyhole, turned the lock, opened the door, and quickly stepped inside and locked myself in. My fingers fumbled along the wall by the door in search of the light switch. Would she be standing there in the center of the room, waiting calmly and patiently? I flicked the switch. Much to my relief, no one was in the small room with me, which consisted of a large bed flanked by nightstands and a small table with chairs off an adjoining kitchenette to the right. To the left of the main room was a small bathroom. With all the boxes I had stacked up containing my personal stuff, the room appeared much smaller than it really was. I walked over to the rats’ cage in one corner. As usual, they were anxiously waiting for me to let them out so they could climb all over me while exploring and running around. “Hey guys,” I said, undoing the latch to the cage’s door. Out they hopped. We rolled around on the floor for a while when I suddenly heard a slight, quick rustling sound. I froze. Every muscle in my body coiled like a snake. Too scared to move, I kept as still as I could and listened. When I was satisfied it was nothing to worry about, I stood up to prepare for bed. It was still fairly early, but it had been an emotionally draining day, and I was beat. After I showered, I turned off the light and lay my exhausted body on the bed. I had kept an outside light on. I looked through the tiny holes in the blinds where the drawstrings ran through but saw no signs of movement. Finally, I turned away and closed my eyes. It was as if staring too long through those little holes would conjure terrifying shadows or images. As tired as I was, I was too nervous to sleep. I kept wondering why Kya hadn’t come after me yet. Maybe after all that had happened, she was finally willing to let go. Or did she just want me to think that? My worries were replaced with a wave of sadness as I thought of the good times Kya and I had shared. Oh, why did you have to become such a monster? I thought in frustration. We could’ve had such a wonderful life together if only she hadn’t been violent, for she was otherwise smart, good-looking, and everything I had wanted in a woman. Sleep suddenly seized me, and I was carried off to dreamland where Kya waited. At one point, we were back at the house, laughing over something as we dined at the table together. Then we were intimate, and finally, we were in what appeared to be a college dorm. I was in a small room with two small beds on opposite walls, with nightstands between them. There was also a desk, at which I sat while another girl lay in bed reading. There was a knock at the door. I got up to answer it. “I’m delivering these for Sativa,” said a girl holding a dozen beautiful red roses. “I’m Sativa,” I told her, reaching for the bundle and thanking her. I shut the door and plucked out a card attached to one of the roses and read it aloud. “It says, ‘Will you marry me?’” The girl on the bed smiled. “Send one back with a ‘yes’ attached to it.” “Oh, I will!” I exclaimed excitedly. “I surely will.” The dream shifted. Now she was pushing me toward the edge of a cliff, closer and closer. I was screaming, but no audible sound escaped. Finally, I was close enough to see that it was at least a fifty-foot drop to the rocky ground below. As one foot slipped over the edge, I awoke with a start. Sweat poured down my face, neck, and back. My heart was pounding. I looked at the clock beside the bed. It was just after midnight. Too shaken to go back to sleep, I got up and made myself a cup of decaffeinated coffee. There were windows on three sides of the guesthouse. I peered through the blinds on each side as discreetly as I could. Nothing suspicious caught my eye. I decided to go back to sleep.