Pretending Perfection

Teresa Teresa wasn’t sure how or why, but she had come to really love having Melanie around. For some reason, she would never have expected to enjoy being in her company as much as she did. Melanie wasn’t anything like she thought she might be. Due to her goofy nature and youthful appearance, she would have counted on her being boring, immature, and maybe even one to grate on her nerves. Instead, she found Melanie’s presence to be rather invigorating and that the woman always had interesting things to say. She was mostly flattered by the way she seemed to take an interest in her work as well as other things—things Sam never seemed to care about. The longer she had lived with him, the more it felt like they were roommates instead of husband and wife. It wasn’t just that she was pleasantly surprised to find how wonderful a person Melanie truly was and how intelligent, but it was the realization that she was actually attracted to her. Teresa had never been attracted to women before. Not really, anyway. But there was just something about Melanie that appealed to her—something she couldn’t quite put a finger on yet was sure existed. She went out of her way to assure Melanie that she need not move out and that she really enjoyed having her around. Melanie seemed both grateful and hesitant. She could tell that her hesitation wasn’t that she wasn’t comfortable with the idea, but that she felt like she was imposing on her and like she should move on. Finally, she convinced her that they had a comfortable routine that they both enjoyed, so there was no point in changing anything at the time. The more drawn to Melanie she became, the more she wanted to know about her. Oddly enough, however, the woman seemed to clam up when it came to personal questions regarding her past. Teresa didn’t suspect that she had anything to hide but simply didn’t want to talk about some painful experiences instead. “It isn’t that I have a problem talking about it,” said Melanie. “It’s that a lot of people get the wrong idea.” “The wrong idea?” Teresa asked. Melanie nodded. “A lot of people seem to think I’m playing for sympathy or some shit like that.” “That’s too bad.” Melanie agreed. “If I really wanted sympathy, I would tell a story a hell of a lot sadder than any of the ones I have to tell.” Teresa smiled, appreciating her honesty. “Well, I promise not to think that of you.” Melanie then smiled an appreciative smile of her own, although she did not delve further into her past. During her free time, which wasn’t much, Teresa tried to research whatever she could find out about Melanie online. Initially, she didn’t learn much. She found some articles she had written on various things—from fitness to owning pet fish, from decorating to enjoying warm sunny weather. Things really got interesting when she found her blog. It was a few years old, and naturally, there was a gap during the time they were in the hotel. The dentist did a search for her name and got a few blog entries that contained it. True to her word, as stated on the blog’s front page, she did not use her full name. Well, at least I didn’t find anything nasty about me there that she may not have wanted to say to my face, she thought to herself after she read the parts with her name. What she had said ranged from neutral to positive. It was mostly about what a great dentist she was and how grateful she was to her for taking her in and being a great support. When time permitted, she would read both current and past entries. She read about the loss of her husband, their experiences together, their hopes and goals, and so much more. Over the last several months, Melanie had expressed feelings of depression and felt like she had hit a dead end in life. Teresa also learned trivial bits of information about her sexy houseguest. She learned what foods, colors, and types of music she liked. She learned that she was very liberal and had a “live and let live” attitude. Melanie hated to be controlled, and one of the things she had loved about her late husband was how accepting he’d been, never trying to change or control her. She read many of the comments that she received from blog followers. Some seemed to randomly stumble in, and others seemed to be longtime readers. Most of the comments were positive and friendly. There were a few trolls, however, in the mix, but Melanie seemed to handle them quite well. Instead of ignoring or deleting them, she often said goofy things to them that didn’t seem to pertain to whatever insults or sexual comments they had left. Teresa suspected they might be lyrics from a song or something like that. Perhaps this wasn’t the smartest way to go, but she couldn’t help but giggle at some of the silly responses she made to them. Eventually, she noticed a link on her blog to her Twitter account as well as to a question-and-answer site that allowed one to ask anonymous questions depending on the person’s settings. The dentist felt a surge of excitement course through her and cause a tingle that felt almost electrical. The possibilities suddenly seemed endless as to all the fun she could have with Melanie. She suspected that she should probably feel guilty for looking up her accounts and not saying anything to Melanie about it, but she didn’t feel the least bit guilty at all. Instead, her brain was painting all kinds of possible questions she could ask her lovely houseguest. She could be kind and serious, or she could be nosy and judgmental. She didn’t want to say anything that could be traced back to her and possibly get her in trouble, so she knew she had to be careful. What she would say would depend mostly on what Melanie was willing to tell her. She would love to ask more questions about herself to get a better understanding of just how she perceived her and how much of a chance she had of keeping Melanie around, but that might seem too obvious. The dentist spent the next few weeks learning all she could about Melanie just based on her online life. In order to learn even more, she created a fake account on Facebook. Her blog, along with the question-and-answer site, allowed for anonymous comments, and therefore, she did not need to create fake accounts there as well. Even though her Twitter account was public and there wasn’t any hidden information there like there was on Facebook that could only be viewed by friends, she decided to create an account with the same bogus name that she had used to create her Facebook account. Melanie seemed to like people who were around her own age, and so she created her persona based on the type of person she thought Melanie would like to have as a friend in cyberspace as well as in real life. Finally, she could no longer stand to wait to get started. The question was just what exactly she wanted to do and hope to accomplish. She loved the idea of approaching her anonymously and even found it amusing. She just wasn’t sure what her goal should be. The meaner she was, the quicker Melanie was likely to block her, so she knew she had to play her hand wisely. She wanted to learn things about Melanie and also learn more about what she thought of her. Teresa had never considered a relationship with a woman before, not because she was against it, but because she had been married to a man for so long that she didn’t think she would ever be single again. This was the first time in her forty-five years that she was actually attracted to a woman. Oh, she had been attracted before, just not like this. She didn’t have to worry that Melanie would be against the idea of a relationship with a woman because, according to her blog, she’d had a few girlfriends before meeting her husband. Her worry was that Melanie would not feel the same as she did. Then again, maybe she would if she knew how she felt. The dentist rubbed her hands together enthusiastically. It was now time to see if she could get a sense of just how much of a chance she might have, and then she would decide how to play her cards from there.