Italian Liaisons

Losing Ariella Melina lay dead still in the double bed in the spare bedroom of her mother-in-law’s old and cold two-story house. She stared blindly at the window, unable to see the beautiful, sunny day that lay beyond it. She was too heartbroken. At just twenty-one years of age, she’d found her true love. She hadn’t expected to fall in love during her visit to Italy, but nonetheless, she’d fallen in love with Ariella practically as soon as they’d met, and the two friends she’d gone to Italy with returned to the US without her. After a hasty wedding of sorts that would allow her to share at least some of Ari’s benefits as an Italian literature teacher at a small college, Ari had proven to be a great husband up until the end. Not a perfect one, but she was plenty fine enough. She was a bit on the serious side and didn’t joke or laugh as much as Melina would have liked, but that was just Ari for you. And then all hell broke loose. Until then, Ari had patiently taught her Italian, provided her with a more-than-sufficient home, and made sure she always had the things she needed—and wanted too, though she didn’t want much more than for Ari to be open, honest, and faithful to her. And as far as Melina knew, she’d always been just that. On top of it all, the two had had great sex. Never had there been a dull moment in bed. Sometimes it was quick, sometimes it went on for hours, and Melina never knew what to expect up front. She could ask Ari to do certain things for her, and she gladly would, but she also looked forward to the surprises she’d had in store for her as well. Ari had been a hottie as far as she was concerned. Not feminine, but not a butch either. Her sexuality, however, had been more obvious when she was dressed casually in jeans and a T-shirt, as opposed to the conservative skirts and blouses she’d worn on campus. Her petiteness and short black hair had been a contrast to Nara, the taller, slightly darker-skinned half-sister with long hair who had also died in the terrible car crash that killed her beloved Ariella. Melina had met Nara at the university as well. She had taught the same subject as Ari in the room right next door. They’d even lived just a block away in the tiny coastal town of Ardea, which was just minutes from where she now lived with Lissi. Ari had been thirty when they’d met, and so she was ready for a family. Melina agreed to have just one child through artificial insemination but wanted to wait until she was a little older and had learned the language. They were just about to put these plans into motion now that she was twenty-four, but then they’d gotten into a huge argument and Melina went to stay with Lissi. And now Ari was gone. Tears stung Melina’s eyes as she thought back to when she was fourteen and devastation had touched her for the first time. That was when she’d lost her parents in a plane crash when they were returning home after visiting her. In the last month, she’d been more or less a robot, guided by the kind and gentle mother-in-law she’d always adored. She was there for her when she and Ari had their fight and Melina wasn’t ready to return to her. Lissi had always gone on and on about how cute she was and how well she did the things she liked to do. Or used to like to do. “You and Rena are all I have now,” she sobbed after the funeral last month. Rena, married to a man and with two young boys of her own, had never been someone she liked. Rena didn’t like Americans. They were too selfish, greedy, and lacking in morals, she’d decided long ago—though she, like her mother, had no problems with gay people. It wasn’t who you loved, she’d told her, it was how you lived. Melina was barely aware of the door to the room opening. “Melina, sweetheart,” Lissi said softly. Melina slowly pulled her eyes from the window and shifted them to the tall, dark figure before her. But she didn’t focus on the woman who looked remarkably young for forty-eight. She simply stared right through her. Lissi suddenly yanked off the covers. “Come on, sweetie. You’ve got to get back to living.” Melina moaned in protest. Lissi tugged at her arm. “Come now.” “No. I don’t want to live. I’m not as strong as you. You’ve been through this more than I have, and you’re the tough one, not me.” It was true. Lissi had had her share of heartache as well. She’d lost her baby brother as a child, and over the last decade, she’d lost her parents as well as her husband. She didn’t know much more about the woman, other than that Ari had said she’d been a fine mother. “Why? Why do people have to die so suddenly and so young?” Melina sobbed. “Oh, sweetie, I don’t know,” Lissi said, with emotion thick in her voice. “Only God can answer that.” “He hates us,” Melina muttered. “Che?” “God hates us. He must really hate us to take so much from us.” “Oh, no, sweetie, He doesn’t.” Lissi dragged a protesting—even swearing—Melina into the bathroom. “Non voglio vivere. I mean it. I don’t want to live! Just leave me alone! Non voglio vivere.” “Well, you’re going to live, like it or not, because there’s been enough death around us. You can still mourn the loss of them. I know I always will. But we’re still alive. And as much as it hurts us at times, we have to go on. This is only temporary. You know we’ll all be together one day for all eternity.” “No, I don’t know that. I’ve never been dead yet, so how can I know that’s nothing more than just wishful thinking? If you’d just get out of my way and let me kill myself, I’ll find out if that’s true or not.” “Or maybe you’ll find out that those who take their own lives really do end up in eternal hell, forever alienated from their loved ones,” Lissi said. Melina stilled and just stared at her mother-in-law. She had a point. “Strip,” Lissi ordered firmly, then she turned and began to fill the tub with hot water, adding a fruity-smelling bubble bath along the way. Melina let Lissi bathe her that night and wash her hair. When she’d handed her a razor, Melina took it and shaved her legs and underarms under Lissi’s watchful eye. “Scissors,” Melina said softly when she was done. “Che?” “Scissors,” Melina repeated a little louder. “You going to cut that beautiful hair of yours?” asked Lissi, referring to the thick blond mane that covered her buttocks. Melina shook her head and said, “No, I’m going to cut the hair most of us don’t want much of.” Melina saw that Lissi was confused, and so she motioned with her eyes to the area between her legs. “Oh, I see,” Lissi said, with a slight smile playing upon her lips. Melina didn’t know if she was amused or embarrassed, and frankly, she didn’t really care. “They’re in the medicine cabinet,” Lissi said as she went to leave the room. “Don’t do anything stupid and leave me all alone. Rena and my good friend Gina have their own homes, so behave.” If it wasn’t for what Lissi had said about leaving her all alone, she probably wouldn’t have behaved. And so Melina functioned rather mechanically. She was still miserable inside, of course. She missed Ari immensely despite the horrible terms they were on in the end, and her heart ached with guilt over how she’d wished her dead in the heat of the moment. She wanted to remember her but found that she had to block her out instead because she couldn’t think of her without bursting into tears. She knew Lissi still cried too, even though Melina saw her as the stronger one. Lissi mostly cried late at night while her own tears were more random. She wasn’t human anymore. She was just this machine, programmed to go through the motions of life, but not really living. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- She sat up in bed one morning, yawned, then pulled herself to her feet. Then she padded barefoot down the stairs in a sleeveless shirt that didn’t quite cover as much of her butt as her hair did. She moved through the house that was a bit old for her tastes, though it was in fine condition, decorated beautifully, and an ideal size—not so small that you felt cramped in, but not so roomy that you felt like space was being wasted. The layout was simple: living room, sunroom, and kitchen downstairs; two bedrooms upstairs. She slept alone most nights, but sometimes she slid into bed next to Lissi, especially when it was windy out or storming. Lissi didn’t seem to mind. Lissi came downstairs just as Melina finished pouring their coffee, which had become a routine. Lissi worked and managed the money. She cooked, cleaned, and helped out at the store a few days a week—more to get out of the house than to be helping Lissi. Lissi’s store was small enough that she didn’t need much help. Melina turned and looked up at Lissi. Her eyes were red. “You’ve been crying.” Lissi nodded. “A little bit.” Melina reached out and gently caressed Lissi’s cheek. The movement seemed to surprise Lissi at first, then her expression turned loving. She hugged Melina, kissed her forehead, took her coffee, and said, “Grazie per il caffè.” “You’re welcome,” Melina replied in Italian, following Lissi with her own cup of coffee. “Mondays are slow, so if you want to stay back and do things online—take care of the house—that sort of thing, feel free to.” Melina nodded. After Lissi left, Melina showered, dressed, then settled in the living room by her computer. When she wasn’t daydreaming and staring into space, she spent the morning online, reading emails, and taking paid surveys. A random memory of Ari and Lissi at the store, laughing over how much Melina hated antiques, popped into her mind. “Grazie a Dio non si vende profumi e caramelle,” Ari told her mom. At the time she hadn’t understood, but she later learned that she’d told her to thank God she didn’t sell perfume and caramel, two of her former guilty pleasures in life. With Ari gone, however, she had no pleasures at all. She barely tasted the food she ate. She barely smelled the flowers in the garden that Lissi cherished. She didn’t even see the beauty in the sea anymore. Guilt. Nothing but guilt. That was all she felt. The doorbell rang at noon. A package? Melina strode over to the door and opened it. A tall, dark-haired man she’d never seen before stood before her. He smiled. And then he had his way with her.