Stolen Time: The Bells of Prison

Edelgard awoke with a start in the middle of the night and looked around wildly. Her heart pounded in her chest and she relaxed when she realised she was in Juliane's room. Oh. She wasn't back in the dungeons. Even though staying with Juliane usually kept the nightmares at bay, sometimes they managed to sneak through. She hated it so much, but her mind was really nasty toward her a lot of the time. She wished she could do more to keep them at bay but it wasn't like she knew magic. She wasn't sure if there even was magic that could block nightmares... She snuggled into the Empress and she felt the woman rouse. "El? Is everything okay?" Her voice was soft. The moon cast light into the room and she could see Juliane sitting up. A hand ran through her hair and she sat up. "Just some nightmares sneaking through. Sorry for waking you up." She always felt bad when she woke her up. It was terrible. The woman spent basically all day in court, dealing with the awful people like Duke Aegir and Marquis Vestra. She didn't deserve to be woken up in the middle of the night. At least they hadn't been bad enough to wake her up screaming. That still happened on occasion. It felt awful whenever she had to wake Juliane up and spend the latter part of the night getting back to sleep. Just having her close enough was usually enough to keep them at bay. "Do you need to talk about it, El?" Edelgard shook her head. "It just woke me up was all. I think I should be fine to go back to sleep." She really didn't want things to get any worse for Juliane. It was hard enough. Combatting those awful vipers had to be mentally, emotionally, and physically draining especially while she had to think about how they had taken her children from her. Facing them down day by day... She couldn't imagine what it was like. Juliane was so strong. Edelgard was so weak. She hated how weak she was. It felt awful. She clung to the woman next to her for dear life and she wasn't sure what she'd do if she was forced to part from her. She might not survive mentally and emotionally without Juliane's support. She would have Hubert, but he wasn't exactly good at the emotion thing. And it wasn't like she could cuddle up to him in public… She felt Juliane lay back down and she did as well, resting her head against Juliane's shoulder. The woman ran her fingers through her hair, humming quietly. Edelgard closed her eyes and she slowly felt slumber start to take her again. It was always rough when she woke up in the middle of the night like this...but at least she didn't have to fear the nightmares for the rest of the night. She hadn't woken up screaming which, usually, meant she wouldn't be able to sleep for the rest of the night. ☽ The next thing Edelgard knew, the sun peeked through the windows and she sat up, rubbing her eyes. Juliane was already awake and sat up along with her. "Good morning, El." She kissed her head and Edelgard saw her smile at her. She offered a small smile back. It was always nice to wake up to a smile in the morning like this. It helped set the day up for success. However, her smile vanished as she thought about something. "I feel like I should visit Toby and the others..." She knew it would stress her out and possibly make it hard to remember things, but she wanted to visit her brother and the others. There were still alive. She wanted to remember them as much as she possibly could before they died. She hated it. She really did. She was trying to balance her life. Juliane's smile also vanished and she pulled Edelgard into a hug. "Are you sure about that, El? You probably won't be able to go visit Ueli and Helen if you do that..." And it meant that Juliane would probably also have to be out of court too. Edelgard knew that much. She would be incredibly stressed out which only made the memory issues worse. But she wanted to do it. She really did. She could honestly still remember the state Tobias, Eckhart, and Alina were in. It was one of the few clear memories she now had. She hated it. She really didn't want to not remember things, but she needed to see her siblings. From the way Tobias' face had been sunken in, he probably didn't have much longer in this world. She wanted to send him off to the afterlife with at least a few more memories of her. "Yes, I'm sure." It would be rough on her, but she couldn't get past it. She wanted this to become part of her routine. If she could cling onto any memories of her siblings before they died, she would. Or at least she'd give it a very good attempt. She wasn't sure if this would pan out or not, but she had to at least try. It would probably be best to just remember them as she had before the Crest experiments. She wouldn't have to remember Tobias' sunken in eyes and lack of any sort of life. She would remember Eckhart as the lively scholar he had been. Alina as a bright, warm child that loved anyone and everyone. Those were the memories she ought to hang onto. But she really felt the need to try to remember them in any shape, way, or form she could. It felt like there was incredibly limited time with them. They were just broken from madness. Tobias and Eckhart were completely catatonic. Alina was just plain broken from what she could remember. And she hadn't seen much from Karola or Augusta either. She missed them horribly. "I suppose you can make that decision for yourself. You know what it'll entail..." Juliane sighed, but let go of Edelgard. They ran through their morning routine and Edelgard met up with Hubert outside of the room. She told him what she wanted to do and he frowned. "Are you sure, my lady? You'll probably end up stressed out and in that mental haze you often revert to when your stress levels are too high..." She didn't blame him for worrying, but she knew what would happen. She really did. "I want to remember them if at all possible... They deserve that much." She didn't want to leave her siblings to suffer. Tobias had recognised her. Maybe her being around could help jog them into consciousness again. That was probably being overly optimistic, but maybe she could help them somehow... Maybe she could bring them some sort of happiness before they died... Tobias and Eckhart were obviously dying from how thin and gaunt they were. She wasn't sure how long they had left. It wasn't fair for her to stay away from them. "I suppose you can make your own decisions, my lady, though what of Helen's offer to learn to make a break with her this morning?" That did give her pause. She didn't want to seem like she was pushing the woman away or throwing her to the side. She did want to learn how to bake bread. She wasn't sure what all it involved, but it sounded like it could be fun in its own right. She was having fun with learning to cook. Baking couldn't be that much different, right? She really did want to learn. "We'll go do that first." She nodded to herself. Hubert didn't say anything one way or the other and simply allowed her to head off. She went down to Helen and Ueli's house where she knocked on the door. It took a few minutes but Helen answered. "Oh, good morning, Edelgard! Here to bake with me?" Edelgard nodded and they headed back to the kitchen. There were several bowls with towels over them and she tilted her head. What was going on? Though, with the fire going...it was pretty hot in here. The oven was going when they cooked dinner of course, but she hadn't really noticed the heat until now. Then again, it seemed like the fire was going a fair bit more than when they were cooking normally... It was first thing in the morning, so they needed to get the fire ready for the rest of the day. "Oh, the bread is rising. I wake up before dawn to make sure that it can rise the proper amount before kneading it and baking it." "Rise?" She didn't know bread rose. She was completely clueless about what she was currently doing. She was trying to catch up, though. Helen nodded. "Yeast needs to go into bread to make it rise. That's what makes it nice, light, and fluffy. We get our yeast from one of the ale brewers down in the city. It takes a while to rise, so I made sure to invite you after it's had its proper time to do so. Now we just need to knead it." Helen walked over to one of the bowls and took out the big, puffy balls of dough. She started working it and Edelgard watched intently. It didn't look too hard to do. She thought she got the basics down. Thankfully, Helen did take the time to explain what she was doing while she was doing it. It helped clear things up a fair bit more than just what Edelgard had observed. Helen took another dough ball out from one of the bowls and put it in Edelgard's hands. "Now why don't you try, honey?" Edelgard nodded and got on a stool to stand at the counter more comfortably and she started working it. The dough was surprisingly difficult to handle. It was sticky and bounced back at her. She furrowed her brows and put more of her strength into it and it soon came under her control. She turned and beamed at Helen who returned the smile. "There you go, honey; you're doing well!" She continued to work it until Helen told her that it was good enough. They worked their way through the rest of the dough, then the woman dusted off her hands. "Now we just need to bake it! Though aren't you late for your other lessons?" She shook her head. "I'm not doing combat lessons today..." She paused. "You might wanna tell Annika that. I'm going to go see my siblings, so I won't be here today." She felt bad for just leaving things, but she really did want to see her siblings. They deserved better than just being mad... She would try to bring them whatever possible comfort she could. It probably wouldn't amount to anything in the end, really... Alina was so out of it that it seemed like her presence had upset her little sister last time she'd been there. She hoped that wouldn't be the case today… "Okay then. Go on ahead. You don't need to spend every day with us, Edelgard." Helen smiled and Edelgard nodded. With that, she thanked the woman and left, then headed back up to the castle. She furrowed her brows and looked at Hubert. "...Do you remember where the room they're staying is?" She couldn't remember the route that Juliane had shown them. She felt pretty useless right now to say the very least. She wanted to go see her siblings and, yet, she couldn't remember the route. Then again, the castle was huge... Even the family wing was three different floors that covered hundreds of different rooms. The Imperial family could end up very large depending on the Emperor or Empress. Some had had upwards of fifty consorts, male and female alike, and many of them had six, seven, eight kids together. By all Imperial measures, her family had been small; even her father had had fifteen siblings plus him. "Yes, I do, my lady; follow me." She nodded and fell into line behind Hubert. She could see he was on guard, but when wasn't he? She really wasn't sure he even knew the meaning of the word "relax." Maybe when he was away from her, he relaxed, but she doubted it. He still had his own duties to his house to take care of along with his own family to spend time with. She knew he absolutely hated his father, though... Considering he had been the one to take Edelgard himself, he spared literally no love for his father in the slightest. They wound themselves through the castle and eventually came to a nondescript door in the family wing. However, she could hear whining behind it. Probably Alina. She frowned. She would probably become stressed again and not really able to function. It wasn't ideal, but she had made her choice. She knew what her mind would do in regards to this. She just...really wanted to speak to her siblings again. She might make this a once-a-week thing. She knew it wouldn't be the healthiest thing for her mentally, but she just felt a need to do it. She hoped she would remember her siblings for the rest of her life. She knocked softly on the door then opened it. A loud wail came from the side of the room where Karolahad her arms wrapped around Alina. Karola looked over as did Augusta, both of them tilting their heads. "El, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in lessons now?" Augusta approached while Karola kept her arms wrapped around Alina. The girl wailed loudly, a sound that hurt Edelgard's ears. She could already feel the haze beginning to take over. Her mind was not happy about this excessive amount of stress. “I...wanted to see them. I felt like I can make the decision to see them if I want to. But...is that a bad idea with how Alina's reacting?" She had no idea what was going on in her little sister's mind. She was clearly disturbed by her presence. Maybe this was a bad idea. She just...wanted to make sure Tobias and Eckhart were taken care of and might remember her before they obviously died. "You can do that. We're not going to stop you," Augusta promised. "She's... Well. She's broken. She doesn't like any change in her routine. People that aren't us entering the room is always upsetting to her. It's just something we've learned to live with." Augusta sighed. "Even Juliane coming in periodically triggers her to act like this. so it's nothing you've done personally." Edelgard nodded a bit. Thankfully, Alina was already quieting down. She probably wouldn't be able to speak to her with her so mentally broken. She missed her little sister... She'd been such a bright, happy girl...even if she'd been a bit rough around the edges at points. She went over to Tobias' bed where he lay, looking up at the ceiling. His eyes were completely bereft of life. They'd always been so full and bright before this. He had a zest for life that couldn't be beaten. He was always getting into trouble by taking her out into the city and giving her sweets... Oh, Toby... She missed him so much. He would have done anything to protect his little siblings... That was probably how they'd gotten him. She couldn't remember if they'd used her in particular or not…   She sat in the chair next to his bed and laid a hand over his. She could practically hear his head creak as he turned to look at her. "E-El..." His voice was so raspy. Tears sprang to her eyes but she forced them back.   "It's me, Toby. I'm here for you." She sniffled a bit, trying to keep them at bay. She squeezed his hand gently. This was so hard. It was so hard to see him in such a state. But she wanted to be here for him. She had no idea how much longer he had. It might be a few days, it might be a few weeks, it could be a few years. There was no real telling. She wanted to give him good memories to take with him when he died. Granted, she didn't know if there was anything after this life or not... She hadn't really formulated her own ideas on the afterlife...   She moved to sit on his bed and ran her fingers through his hair, humming nonsensical melodies she made up on the fly to him for quite a while. He didn't really move or react, his eyes as glassy as they had been when she'd walked in. She wasn't sure if he was enjoying her running her fingers through his hair or not. There was just...no response at all. He was basically as good as dead. This had to be torture. A broken mind in a slowly deteriorating body. She had managed to recover to some extent, but a lot of things were still hard on her to deal with. She didn't like the night and the heat was difficult for her to deal with. She had lost her tolerance for the heat due to how cold the dungeons had been. But still... She had come out better than Tobias, Alina, and Eckhart. She still had her sanity intact somehow.   She leaned down and kissed his head, then got up and went over to Eckhart's bed. The story was much the same there. He didn't react to her presence at all. His eyes and cheeks were incredibly sunken in, leaving him gaunt. He had never been strong as he was a scholar, but this...was beyond even him. He was so thin and gaunt. He was basically a skeleton clinging to life. But she sat on his bed and gave him the same treatment she had Tobias. She wasn't sure if he was even aware of her presence. Once again, there was no real acknowledgement of her being there. His eyes were entirely glassy and his head rolled listlessly to the side whenever she touched him. He didn't even attempt to right himself.   With her solemn tasks completed, she excused herself and went back to her and Juliane's room. She curled up on the bed, her mind completely collapsing beneath her. Hubert sat on the bed next to her, running his hand over her head. "I'm sorry this is so hard on you, my lady... But you did make that decision..." His voice was quiet.   She nodded. "I knew what would happen but...it's not easy." She sniffled. She missed her family. All she had left was Juliane, Augusta, and Karola, but the latter two were busy taking care of the three remaining children. She hadn't escaped unscathed, but comparatively, she had gotten off pretty light. She still had her sanity. The others didn't even have that. They barely clung to life. Honestly, killing them would be a mercy at this point. But she knew the gentle women taking care of them didn't have the fortitude to do that. If Katinka was still there, then she probably would've done it, but all they would do was waste away until they couldn't function anymore.   Hubert leaned down and kissed her head, then pulled her fully into his arms and his lap. "I'm so sorry for all of this... If only I had been able to protect you..." His voice cracked and she frowned.   "Hubert, I doubt there was anything you could've done. Plus, it was the middle of the night and you were in another wing of the castle." House Vestra had its own wing due to lacking their own lands, but the family was usually pretty small. The fewer people around, the easier it was to keep secrets. She was sure there were some people that had had large families, but all she knew was it was Hubert's father, mother, and younger sister. It wasn't like she had really spoken to any of them on a regular basis though... He mentioned them in passing at times and that was how she knew about them. That, and, well Marquis Vestra was around court a lot. So she could recognise him on sight. She knew that he'd been the one to take her from her bed that fateful night, though.   "I still feel so responsible... Maybe I would've been able to save you..." His arms held her protectively and she fell silent. It seemed like no matter what she said, it wouldn't ease his guilt. It was strange to see the human side of him like this though. He so rarely let his own insecurities and thoughts out around her. Apparently seeing her siblings had shaken her just as much as it had shaken him. And she was going to subject him to that until they died... She couldn't just leave her siblings alone though. How could she? She was a horrible sister if she did that. She couldn't do anything to help, but she felt like she was at least doing something by visiting them. She hated all of this. She felt so powerless in the grand scheme of things. She would be Empress one day and, yet, she could do nothing to stop the corruption present in the Empire's court.   "...Still. I appreciate that you're here for me, Hubert. I wouldn't be half as well off as I am without you." Had it not been for him and Juliane, she probably would've hardened considerably. It would've been the only way she could survive. She didn't have a good constitution for ruling. She was too sweet, gentle, and meek. It would make her easy to take advantage of if left unchecked. But between him and Juliane, she would be well protected and she was grateful for it. He did so much for her. She would never take him for granted. He was silent, so she could tell he didn't want to talk about it. So she slumped against him, closing her eyes. The rest of the day was relatively quiet with Hubert only getting up to request her meals from servants. Eventually, Juliane came in, obviously worn out from court. She excused Hubert and Edelgard snuggled into her mother's lap. They mostly just sat there, snuggling and comfortable with each other. As the sun began to sink behind the clouds, they went through their nightly routine then curled up in bed.