Thoughts

      Ruby Rose is an ordinary girl who wanted to become a huntswoman hero, like in the fairy tales that were read to her as a child. It used to be like that. Ruby Rose is now a participant in the ancient war for humanity, mired in despair. But it seems that recently she just entered the Beacon Academy, assembled a team, and became a leader. In the morning she went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.       The mirror that used to reflect joy and hope for the future now shows the exhausted face of the "hero". She avoids mirrors now, they have become repugnant to her. More precisely, what she sees in them is a parody of a hero who thinks he will save the world and lives.       A life that didn't know chaos before is now a continuous hurricane. A hurricane where almost everything happens, but nothing good. A hurricane of uncertainty and fears. A hurricane of deaths and dark thoughts. You want to run away from them, but Ruby no longer sees the point in running away from the hurricane of life. She was too tired.       And the sun that illuminated her path to tomorrow is covered by an eternal eclipse. The eclipse covered the entire beautiful sky. No luminary will be able to light the way for her now. No sun, no stars, no broken moon. And Ruby no longer sees any point in complaining and grieving.       Just like in happiness. Oh, what a weight that word "happiness" carried. Ruby adored him. Now she needs him, but she can't. Happiness is beyond her reach now. There is no place for happiness in war. Even if it ends, will Ruby be able to feel happiness? Probably not. But Ruby doesn't care anymore.       It didn't matter, either, about the blood that was on her and other people's hands. There had been so many deaths in her life. The ones I knew and didn't know. She was hurt for both of them. Ruby didn't know why she still wore red, because it was the color of blood. Maybe a habit? Maybe there are no other clothes? Or maybe to hide the blood? Or is it an eternal reminder to her that death is always near? If anyone knows, it's definitely not Ruby. She doesn't have time, and she doesn't want to think about it.       Speaking of red. Ruby Rose is solid red. Rubies are red, roses are red too. She might as well have been named Blood Rose, because her life is full of blood. But she doesn't care anymore, it doesn't matter anymore. She's already used to it, there's no point in thinking about names and other things anymore.       Although, of course, It's out of place, somehow, perhaps through a chain of associations, Ruby thought of lilies. Despite her name, roses have never been her favorite flowers. Yes, her semblance leaves a trail of rose petals, but even so, roses were not her favorite flowers. They're prickly and aggressive. Red roses mean suffering. Not like lilies. Yes, lilies. A symbol of purity and motherhood. A traditional mother's Day gift. Talking about the tender and sacrificial love of her parent. Which Ruby had been essentially deprived of since childhood. Ruby loves them, even though they hurt from the memories they bring. They're so gentle, innocent, like Ruby used to be in the past. Despite the experience, through all the changes, pain and loss, Ruby still loves them. They're soothing. The view alone makes reflections bearable. Just the sight calms the hurricane in the soul. The view alone removes the eclipse. The sight alone brings back happiness. Just the sight of it makes you forget about blood. Lilies are given a chance to live. Lilies carry the hope of reviving her wounded soul.       Ruby Rose is a girl who hates looking in mirrors, whose life has become a hurricane of chaos and darkness, whose light has been darkened by an eclipse, who has lost happiness in life, who is already tired of blood, but still loves lilies. As long as there are lilies, maybe all is not lost?