The Counterfeit Princess's Confession

When did everything suddenly go downhill? When and what broke in the mechanism of my carefree, familiar life? Why did my existence suddenly become so... pathetic? I used to ask myself these questions so often, thinking about it so much, trying to understand what I was doing wrong. Now I know the answer, but it doesn't make it any easier. I've realized my mistake, but it seems too late to fix it now. I've always enjoyed a wonderful life, ever since I was a child—for as long as I can remember. My parents are quite wealthy, so they've always been able to indulge me, their only child, with luxuries and fun. It's only natural, isn't it? If you work hard and earn a lot of money, why not spend it however you please? There's nothing wrong with that, is there? So I lived my life without a care in the world, and my parents bought me everything I wanted, whenever I wanted it. I had grown so accustomed to my carefree life that I was quite surprised when I started first grade and discovered that not everyone lived as well as I did. In fact, none of my classmates came from a family as wealthy as mine. However, they didn't seem too upset about it. On the contrary, they were cheerful and enjoyed life. It seemed they didn't feel like they were missing out on anything. Yes, they didn’t feel like it. At least, not until I told them about my parents' wealth and everything I could afford. I thought they could only dream of such a life. So, I shared my story with them, wanting them to know how wonderful it could be and to be happy for me. At first, the other children really listened to me, captivated by my stories. I always wore my best dresses to school and brought in my nicest things to show off. I'd hear their awed gasps and envious whispers. This would only make me happier, and I'd smile so wide my cheeks would hurt. I'd think, ‘Yes, envy me. Look at how I live! You probably won't be as content with your miserable life now.’ The feeling of being better than everyone else was intoxicating. It was heady and confusing, and I couldn't help but gloat. Looking back, I'm a bit ashamed of those thoughts. Back then, I was the real princess of my class. Those were wonderful, carefree days. Everything was perfect. But, alas, my happiness didn't last. A falling out with another girl in my class brought about my downfall. I can't even remember what it was about—probably some silly little thing that meant the world to a kid. But that's beside the point. But what's important is what I said to her then: she had no right to argue with me, given my much higher status and her pathetic, poor position. I said this loudly, for everyone in the class to hear. I expected them to support me, I was sure they'd be on my side. But I was wrong. No one even thought to help me. I turned around and flinched, seeing undisguised irritation and malice in their eyes. All eyes were on me, literally burning into me. What next? Well, they defended that girl, the whole crowd turned against me. I was genuinely puzzled and couldn't understand what I had done wrong, so I was very offended by them. Shouting insults at them as a final blow, I stormed out of the classroom. And that's when everything changed. The next day, when I entered the classroom, I didn't hear the usual greetings. And if that was all, but no! They all looked at me angrily and started whispering among themselves. It was very hurtful, but trying to ignore it, I took my seat. Those sitting next to me immediately grimaced and turned away from me. The whispering seemed to get much louder. It only got worse from there. Soon, various objects started flying at me, often causing me severe pain. Shoves, punches, kicks, and trips—all of this became a regular part of my school life. I literally didn't have a single moment of peace. Those monsters bullied me mercilessly, and the disapproving whispers and malicious laughter behind my back never ceased. My parents didn't notice the bruises all over my body or my eyes swollen from crying. They didn't have time to. They worked late almost every day and came home terribly tired, often too exhausted to even talk to each other, let alone notice my bad mood or bruises. I never blamed my parents, though. They worked so hard, and for their backbreaking labor, they earned a well-deserved living. Did I have the right to accuse them of being inattentive to me? After all, despite everything, I was always clothed, shod, and fed. Could I ask for more? I couldn't bring myself to tell them about it all, and there usually wasn't time anyway. So I endured, I endured for a very long time, so long that it seemed I couldn't take it anymore. The bullying got worse every day, and thoughts of suicide crossed my mind more than once during that time. But one fine day, the problem solved itself. My parents suddenly decided to move because of work, which meant I would finally leave this school and class that had caused me so much pain. I was happy, so incredibly happy. And I decided that nothing like this would ever happen to me again. And for a while, everything really was fine. I fit into the new school pretty quickly, taking on roughly the same position I'd originally had in my previous school. I bragged about my new things again, arousing admiration and envy in others. But everything was okay, they communicated with me calmly, without any thoughts of bullying. I desperately wanted to avoid repeating my past mistake, to prevent everything from turning out badly again. It's just a shame that back then I still didn't understand where I'd gone wrong. I was so stupid. I can't believe I stepped on the same rake. It happened again in middle school. Although, things were a bit different this time. I didn't argue with anyone like last time, I didn't insult or humiliate anyone. But it didn't help me avoid what I was so afraid of—the hatred of my classmates and bullying. That's when I started thinking—why did this happen again? I thought about it for a long time, going over all my actions and words spoken before the fateful moment. And then I understood. Yes, it finally became clear to me. The same reason led to problems last time. The answer is my bragging. It's so simple, but it took me so long to realize it. This time, I simply talked too much about my wealth, and in the end, they hated me for it. I boasted about my status, but in truth, I had no right to. After all, my parents were the ones who earned the wealth. And me, had I done anything for it, had I put in even a little effort myself? The answer is no. Finally, I came to the right conclusion, but it was too late to do anything about it. It was too late to make amends. Even if I got down on my knees and apologized for everything, they probably wouldn't have listened. Besides, I couldn't bring myself to even try—it would have been too humiliating for me. The bullying in this school seemed even worse than what I'd experienced before. But here, I found a solace that could temporarily ease the pain of my daily life—the drama club. Of course, the best escape for me would have been the chance to play the leading roles in plays—heck, any role at all! But... even here, I wasn't allowed to do what I wanted. I was stuck with working on props—a pretty boring and tedious job. The other members of the drama club were constantly involved in various productions, endlessly rehearsing, trying to perfect their skills, while I could only watch them with envy in my eyes. The unfairness of it all was killing me, because I was sure I could have played much better than all of them put together. But no one even considered my candidacy. They just made fun of me and mockingly assured me that there was no better job for me than working with props. It would seem that in such a situation, it would have been best for me to leave the club, right? But no, I couldn't. I dreamed of the theater, I wanted to play the leading roles, to amaze everyone with my talent, to evoke admiration and delight from the audience. And, even though I couldn't afford all this in reality, rehearsals in front of the mirror late at night in the empty clubroom were quite enough to brighten up my life a bit. But who am I kidding? No, it wasn't enough, not nearly enough! It doesn't at all make up for my daily suffering. On the contrary, it only gets worse when you realize that even your modest dream can't come true. There's nothing worse than just watching from the sidelines as others get to do what you've always dreamed of! Such a pathetic fate, isn't it? If someone finds these notes, they'll probably think something like, ‘What a worthless, pathetic girl.’ Hardly anyone will pity me, because people have never cared about me. Maybe I should just rid the world of my own existence. Indeed, that would be the right thing to do. I'm writing these words, sitting alone in the empty drama club room. I'll leave these notes somewhere here so someone will find out the truth about what happened to me. It wouldn't be right if I disappeared without a trace and everyone thought I was missing. No, you'll know the whole truth. Now I'll work on the props a little more, and then I'll go home. But something will happen to me on the way, and they'll never see me at home again. Goodbye, everyone. Goodbye, my indifferent parents, goodbye, my cruel classmates, and goodbye, my unfulfilled dream. I will never disturb this world again. ________________________________________________________________  “Let me make your dream come true. Choose the role you want, and I'll give it to you.” The girl twirled in front of the enormous mirror, her beautiful Western dress swirling around her. Her eyes sparkled with joy as she gazed at her reflection. Lost in her own image, she seemed oblivious to everything around her. And it was no wonder, for she stood alone in the empty drama club room, with nothing to look at but her own lovely reflection. She had almost completely vanished into the magical world beyond the mirror, where she was standing on stage, bowing to a countless audience. The crowd watched her with rapt attention, and the thunderous applause never seemed to end. As she continued to turn this way and that, giving her attention to everyone in the audience, she suddenly felt a presence behind her. It had become such a familiar sensation. With a happy smile, the girl turned to the man standing behind her, dressed in his peculiar outfit—though she was getting used to that, too. As well as the constant teacup this creature seemed never to part with. “I'm so happy, Black Tea Gentleman,” she said, her eyes fixed on his, her smile never fading. “All of this is thanks to you. Thank you for making my dream come true.” The youkai chuckled softly, hiding his widening grin behind his teacup. “You don't need to thank me, Midori. After all, this wasn't a gift from me. You know the terms of our agreement very well.” The girl's radiant gaze dimmed for a moment, and the corners of her lips turned down, but a second later, her face was lit up by a dazzling smile, and her eyes sparkled even brighter. “I don't care,” she said happily, not taking her eyes off the man. “For feeling this good right now,” she glanced briefly at the audience and nodded graciously in response to their excited cries, then looked back at the youkai standing before her, “I'm willing to give up my soul. Even if I had to say goodbye to life right now.” “Oh no, that can wait,” the one called the Black Tea Gentleman chuckled softly. “Enjoy your dream while you have the time.” Smiling even wider and nodding in agreement, the girl turned back to the audience, completely surrendering to the desired attention of the crowd. Just an illusion, in which this unfortunate creature dissolved completely, losing herself entirely, forgetting about the outside world. Her fragile soul was so deliciously sweet. The Black Tea Gentleman smirked, his eyes fixed on the victim, lost in her own fantasy world. “You're simply disgusting,” a voice suddenly rang out from the doorway, forcing the youkai to look away from the delightful scene before him. “What are you doing here,” he turned his head towards the unexpected visitor, fixing him with a piercing gaze, “Reaper of the thirteenth step?” “Looking for a victim,” Izanami smirked, glancing at the figure of the girl curtseying in front of the mirror in the drama club room. “Is that so,” the Black Tea Gentleman mused. “Knowing you, you would probably try to set her on the right path, awaken in her the desire to live in reality... Isn't that how you usually operate? You're so kind, Izanami.” “Shut up,” the youkai snapped, shrugging irritably. “I don't care about that weakling. She wouldn't last a couple of days. That's exactly why she would have been the perfect victim for me,” a malicious grin spread across his face. “Her pitiful little soul would burn eternally in my hell.” “And you call me disgusting,” the Black Tea Gentleman snorted, glancing at his counterpart with distaste. “Compared to you, I could be considered an angel.” Izanami roared with laughter. His loud laughter filled the entire enormous room, but the girl dancing in front of the mirror seemed completely oblivious to it. “Don't flatter yourself,” the youkai said, calming down slightly. “At least I don't give anyone false hope, slowly killing them in the process and laughing behind their backs.” The Black Tea Gentleman glared at Izanami. This monster was going to teach him about life? That was too much. “If you don’t like what you see, just disappear,” he hissed, his irritation plain. “You won’t get her anyway, because she already belongs to me. Or maybe you want to fight me? Let’s see who’s stronger.” Izanami grimaced and gave him a contemptuous look. His lips curled into a sneer. “Certainly, but another time,” he promised. “I don’t have time for you now. But when I’m free, I wouldn’t advise you to show your face around me.” Izanami's figure began to fade into thin air. The Black Tea Gentleman merely snorted in response, “So scary.” Turning back to his victim, he noted with satisfaction that she was still lost in her world, oblivious to any changes in the reality around her. Not expecting the girl to come out of this state anytime soon, the youkai continued to sip his tea, gazing peacefully out the nearby window and casually noting the approaching dusk. It was amazing how quickly a day passed watching this creature. She liked to call herself a princess, didn't she? Well, he would allow her to live in that role a little longer. Lost in thought, the youkai missed the moment when his victim approached him and grabbed his arm. When had she managed to tear her gaze away from her own reflection? How curious. What did she need from him now? A smirk twisted his thin lips. “Something wrong, Princess?” he asked, scrutinizing her face. “Princess,” she echoed, letting go of his arm. “If there’s a princess, then there must be a prince, right?” The girl's gaze locked onto his, her eyes wide with anticipation. The Black Tea Gentleman was stumped. For the first time, his victim's question had thrown him off. He'd already given her everything she'd ever wanted, immersing her in a sweet fantasy where she was adored by artificially created spectators. Even the classmates who incessantly bullied her in real life were depicted as enchanted by her beauty, kindness, and talent. The youkai had assumed that would be more than enough, but now she wanted a prince? Creating such an illusion would be quite a challenge. “Not at all,” he finally replied, trying to smile as gently as possible to calm the girl. “Why would you need a creation that wouldn't pale in comparison to you? Would you really want that?” Midori frowned, looking away. It seemed he hadn't managed to calm her down, the Black Tea Gentleman noted to himself. Perhaps hinting at her vanity like that had been too blunt. But the girl's next words surprised him even more. “It's just,” she paused for a second, and when she spoke again, her voice was very quiet, “I feel... a little lonely, yes. No, I'm not complaining,” she added hastily, noticing the youkai's eyes widen in astonishment, “I enjoy the attention of the audience and my classmates, but... I want someone who is my equal. Someone I can share my thoughts with, someone who would understand me.” The girl's eyes were fixed on the floor as she clearly felt very awkward about admitting this. The surprise faded, replaced by realization, and the Black Tea Gentleman chuckled. So, she wanted a friend? Or even a lover? Something so profound he couldn't artificially create. And besides, weren't her desires a bit too much for one girl? The youkai was about to voice his thoughts, but Midori spoke first. “Black Tea Gentleman,” she looked up at him, again clutching his sleeve, “could you, at least for a while... be my prince?” This was definitely the last thing the youkai expected to hear from his victim. He was already starting to think about how to instill love in someone for this creature, but... did she really mean it? Did she want him, a youkai, to be her lover? The thought made him want to laugh wildly and uncontrollably. However, remembering the girl's fragile soul in time, he restrained himself, biting his lip. But what should he do now? A refusal would definitely hurt her, and agreement... no, it was ridiculous to even think about it. A silence fell, and Midori looked down. This child must have regretted what she said. “You probably misunderstood me,” she stammered. “I just wanted to say that…” “No need to explain,” the Black Tea Gentleman interrupted her, “I think I understand perfectly.” Midori looked up at him hopefully, and for some reason, the youkai felt a twinge of awkwardness. Seriously? Awkwardness? Now that was definitely beyond reason. It was even starting to annoy him. This feeling he was experiencing now seemed even more ridiculous than the girl's suggestion. Stop looking at me like that. “I don't mind,” he said, not knowing why those words had slipped out. But he couldn't say anything else, looking into her eyes, which in that moment shone even brighter than when she was lost in her illusion. “Really?” she whispered, disbelieving. “You don't mind being my prince?” The Black Tea Gentleman allowed himself a smile. Well, well, it seemed this creature could be quite charming. It was almost a shame to disappoint her now. However, she should have realized what she was getting herself into. For now... why not play along a little? “Of course,” he said, pulling one of his best smiles and looking straight into her eyes, as he raised her hand to his lips, “my princess.” ________________________________________________________________   One day, Midori remembered the suicide note she'd left in the drama club room the day she'd been ready to end it all. She wanted to find it and destroy it, because now that her dream had come true, she had no more thoughts of that kind. However, the note wasn't where she expected it to be. The girl began to worry that someone had found and read her words, but the Black Tea Gentleman, who had become interested in her search, reassured her, telling her that he had destroyed it long ago. Midori breathed a sigh of relief and smiled gratefully at her savior. Nothing to worry about. Yes, that was right. As long as he was around, she would be okay. The girl didn't know that the youkai had lied to her. He hadn't destroyed the note, he had only hidden it for a while. He would definitely return it to its place, on the very day he completely consumed this unfortunate soul. But she didn't need to know about that, did she?