You deserve better

***

He. The perfect model. His long hair, tall stature, expressive eyes, plump lips and a cute mole under his eye make him the type of many. I think every girl wants to get into bed with him. Ji thinks about him day and night. She's madly in love with this guy. But still, she knew she had no chance. They're chasing him in droves. And he would choose someone like her? Many of Yeji's drawings are dedicated to Hwang Hyunjin. It's a pleasure to draw his face. Moreover, she hadn't had at least one sexual experience, and he didn't seem to like that kind of thing. Everyone knows that he used to have fun with just anyone. When asked which girls he liked, he replied that they were blonde, very tall, foreign, and cocky. It's obvious that Yeji is not his type.

***

Another day at the university passed like several painful years under the gaze of the professors. The depressed mood was giving itself away, which made Hwang's best friend worried. - Why are you so sour, Zai? Ji Min took hold of his shoulders."I feel like strangling him right now." "For what?" Hwang turned around, calmly asking, although she guessed what the answer would be. "You're always sad because of him," Lee sighed in disappointment.- When have you ever seen yourself alive? "Never." - Well, what am I talking about? That's it, we're going to the shopping center right after steam today. "Why," Gee breathed out painfully, rubbing her numb hand. - No, well, why do you think people go there? - Spend the money. - yes... Oh, no," Yeji Mina tapped on the shoulder.- We need a distraction. "Well, let's go," Gee shrugged, picking up a pen. As soon as her friend had time to rest, Hyunjin himself approached them. He looked at Mina and asked for permission. She just blinked slowly at that. Ji Yi didn't notice who had approached them, her head was turned towards the door. "Yeji, can I talk to you for a minute?" Hyunjin gave a voice, causing the girl to jerk and turn around sharply. "Is something wrong?"- the girl asked a question, getting up from her chair. "We need to talk," the girl's heart sank at these words. Without waiting long, the guy left the office, followed by Yeji. Meanwhile, Mina realized that the trip to the mall was canceled. After turning the corner of the institute, Hwang pressed the girl against the wall. - Sorry to disturb you so abruptly. "It's nothing. - It's because of the strange feelings that have been enveloping me for several days now. When I look at you, my heart beats faster. It looks like I've fallen in love with you, Hwang Yeji. No one expected this from the king of the school. Besides, you don't know if he's playing or if he's arguing with his friends. None of that mattered now. The girl froze, remaining with her mouth slightly open. She couldn't believe that handsome vuz loved her. She was feeling a little nervous right now. "Will you let me be your boyfriend?" Hwang asked without waiting for an answer, persistently looking into his eyes. "Yes," Yeji decided to whisper anyway. "Can I kiss you?" - yes. - Besides "yes," you can say something else- a grin sparkled on his inviting lips. — I don't know. Shifting his gaze to his lips, the guy, under the influence of desire, could not restrain himself and pinned the girl to the wall with an insanely gentle kiss. The girl's hands were left in the air by surprise. Blushing, she gently lowered them onto her broad shoulders. Biting the girl's lower lip, Hyunjin exhaled hollowly and deepened the kiss, casually tracing Yeji's upper lip and meeting her tongue. Not at all expecting where she got so much courage from, Ji took the initiative, pressing her hand to the back of her head. She was literally ready to sink into the ground out of shame. And if someone notices them now. Taking a deep breath, Hyunjin grabbed her slender waist, opening his eyes slightly. I really wanted to look at the passive. And the girl was unbearably beautiful now, with half-closed eyelids and a slight blush on her cheeks. Finally, the guy pulled away, breathing heavily. Glancing at Yeji, he noticed how she licked her lips. Her annoyance caused an involuntary smile. Just a few days ago, he wanted to see her cutest look, and today she stands in front of him all red as a tomato. - Do you think the cat will find out? Hyunjin hugged the girl tightly "Probably," she shrugged, inhaling the intoxicating scent of men's perfume. - Let them find out, I don't care.

***

She couldn't sleep all night. She turned over in the blanket, squeaked into the pillow, sobbed with joy, kissed the drawings with Hwang. It happens once in decades when such a popular guy meets with a quiet guy. It suddenly occurred to her that he might have bet on her or to embarrass her. With that, she decided to test him. Don't let them get too close to you, like getting used to official relationships. Well, now you can sleep. A nightgown and an alarm clock, well, that's about it. Burrowing into the bed, she closed her eyes. Strangely, Hwang fell asleep within half a minute.

***

*Yeji's dream* The girl woke up in Hyunjin's room. She was covered with a blanket and was wearing her long T-shirt. There was no bra underneath and her entire neck was covered in hickeys. "Did we sleep with him?" Then the owner comes into the bedroom. Paying attention to the girl, he went up to her and sat down on the edge next to her. His hand was stroking her leg. Reaching out to her, he lightly touched her lips with his own. Suddenly, he quickly pulled away and left the room with a quick step. Trying to understand the reason for this behavior, Yeji followed him out. Soon, both were no longer at home. The girl did not understand how she knew the whole house of Hwang. She shouted after him to wait for her. He was slowing down a bit. The girl still caught up with him, walking a little behind. She didn't even notice how they reached a small pier, such as they used to be when people were still crossing rivers using wooden boats. It was also unusual that there was a black chair on the platform. "Hyung, why are we here?" she looked up from the dock at Hyunjin Yeji. "You'll see," the guy just replied, leaving the girl in thought. The morning was cloudy and cool. The fog covered the surface of the ground, so Hwang Ye saw where her boyfriend was going. There was an indescribable silence in the whole city, but the girl did not pay attention to this. Hyunjin then walked over to a chair and sat down on it, still thoughtfully looking at the horizon and the surface of the water, as if searching for words in them. Ji didn't hesitate either and sat on the platform opposite Hwang. "You don't notice anything unusual in this sea," Hyung said without turning to the girl. "No, but what should I do," Yeji asked, now examining the water more closely. "No, you shouldn't," the guy said calmly.- It seems to me that today it is different than before. "And with what?" She looked at Hwang Ji. "Before that, it was more alive," these words made the girl come closer and look at the lifeless sea again. The water really looked murkier than usual and showed no signs at all that there was an underwater world there. "The sea seems to be dead," Yeji continued the conversation, sitting down in her former place. "Yeji," Hyunjin said, turning to her.- Do you consider yourself alive? The guy's words caught her off guard. In what sense is she alive, Mentally or physically. Although she knew perfectly well that she needed to answer this question. "No," the girl said calmly, noticing Hyung's questioning look.- I no longer feel the pain that others feel. Only the mental pain suffocates me from the inside, burns me to ashes. "I understand you," Hyunjin got up from his chair.- I know how to keep everything to yourself, hide your condition from your family and friends, you feel like you're trapped and have nowhere else to go. She stared into his eyes, stunned. He said it right. The hidden beast in the girl has long been sealed from others. She's afraid that people will get to him. It was the only thing she had left, and she needed to protect it with all her efforts. Hwang's hand took hers and he led her to the edge of the dock. he trembled a little, but as soon as he looked into his eyes, the excitement immediately disappeared, as did the desire to move on. "Trust me, I won't miss you," were his last words before sinking into the water with me. Yeji was choking and that was the only thing she wanted right now. The last thing she managed to say was "Thank you", thank you for an easy death...

***An annoying alarm clock pulled baby Yeji, who was helpless at that moment, out of the clutches of sleep. She opened her eyes and found herself in her room. Exhaling, she trudged to the bathroom. After taking a shower and finishing with facial care, Ji, who was fully awake, went to the wardrobe. It's a difficult choice. But then an idea came to mind. Why not wear a skirt. A short pink plaid skirt caught my eye in the closet. But I had to choose a blouse or something else. Here she found the right thing again. A long hoodie without pockets, white in color and a cute sleeping polar owl print. Perfect, but all that's missing is a suitable make-up.

If the hands grow from more than one place, then everything will work out. The visual pouch under the eye is just an unearthly miracle, and the downward arrows make the face look creepy. Plump lips are decorated with cherry tint. Well, that's it, the perfect but unusual image is ready. The bag is packed, but I still want to go to the shopping center with Mina, so money for shopping flew into my wallet. After closing the apartment for Yeji, the next flight was to the bus stop. A few minutes later, she's already boarding a public transport. Sitting next to another girl, Ji began sorting through the accumulated messages during the night. There were a lot of them, she literally jumped from one messenger to another. She had to leave soon, and the girl went to the handrails for those standing and paid for the ride with her card. Finally, the doors opened and with some calmness, Hwang walked towards the university. She took courses in design or, more simply, art. There were a few minutes left before the couples and the girl went to the right office. When she entered it, she noticed her friend's gaze. Mina was stuck on her smartphone. Sneaking up, Yeji suddenly hugged her by the shoulders. "Good morning," Lee laughed, turning around and hugging Yeji to her waist in response.- What happened yesterday. "I'll tell you later," Hwang leaned over and whispered softly in her friend's ear.- Is the mall still in operation? "Yes, let's go after the couples," Mina rejoiced, and her gaze fell on Hwang's appearance.- Wow, you're just different today, did you try for Hyung? "It's just that I really liked this owl, and the skirt was the first to catch my eye." "The owl is really very cute," Lee smiled."But you're prettier, I'd give my soul for that pretty face." "What are you doing?" Hwang grinned and brought her lips to Mina's ear."If I didn't like Hyunjin, you'd be my type," she whispered as she sat down at her desk. "Likewise, little fox," Lee winked at her.

***

The couples started. It was unbearable to sit in one position all the time, and she spread her legs slightly. Then her ankle touched someone else's and Mina looked at her questioningly. "Please let me stretch my legs," Hwang whispered, hissing because of her aching leg. After waiting for Lee to move her leg, Ji immediately spread her leg, and she exhaled heavily with pleasure. But in order not to torment her friend for a long time, she Hwang took her foot back to its original place. After showing her friend the heart, she turned back to her notebook and began to carefully write down the information. A little more and... Victory! The few hours of torment were over. Quickly packing her things, Ji looked at Mina and they left the office together.

***

They went down well. Tired, Yeji ate as she carried the bag and three bags. She opened the apartment door and quickly put the bags on the bedside table. Taking off her shoes, she took the bags and put them on the table next to the wardrobe. The bag also flew there. Thoughts of Hwang wouldn't leave her mind. I already wanted to bang my head against the wall, so that at least the pain would drown out the unbearable feeling of a trick. Scream? Not an option. Attempts to calm himself down ended in failure. Barely able to stand, she crawled to bed, turning on all the lights in the house on the way. This time, she dreamed of memories from elementary school. The first three and the note in the diary are deeply scarred in my memory. It will seem like a trifle to many, but not Yeji. Such estimates were extremely rare, not to mention twos. There were none every now and then. Once again, another stub of their memory is where little Gee is sitting at her desk writing down a story she invented. Smiling involuntarily in her sleep, the girl watched every move. A large tear rolled down and hit the walls of the subconscious with a bang. Many people say that it would be better to stay in school time. But definitely not our Hwang. She is proud of herself that all the hard work was not in vain.

***

Suddenly, everything swam around and the floor buckled. In a panic, she opened her eyes and found herself in her room. Exhaling, Yeji decided to go to her boyfriend anyway. Her makeup was brighter than usual, and she was wearing a white top and skirt suit, as if it had been made to look exactly like her. It's not a fast ride to Hwang's house, but there's nothing you can't do for love. As Yeji rode the bus, she replayed the new days in her head, how she would live on. Being such an independent person, she never caused any trouble. A child who did not play with toys, reading books as a child, she developed. Mental anxiety was calmed by writing sketches that came to mind. Due to frequent training with memory and talent in drawing, she was able to graduate from high school with honors and enroll in design without any problems. Many said that she had a bad childhood because she didn't have fun like other children, but sat at her desk or watched Disney. The girl herself believed that other children were just spoiled and she was on the right track. The first experience in a romantic relationship cannot be called successful. That guy just found another one and dumped Yeji with the words "You're not interesting." If the same thing happens to Hyunjin, then she just doesn't know how she's going to proceed. Alone with her thoughts, Yeji reached the mansion. He was almost above the clouds. Hwang's parents are influential people in Seoul and can afford such a rich lifestyle. Pressing the button on the bell, the girl began to listen for the slightest rustle. Footsteps came from the room and a man in his forties in a butler's uniform opened the door. - Good afternoon, who are you visiting, - Gerald forced a smile, letting the girl pass into the corridor. - Hello, is Hyunjin at home? Yeji bowed, anxiously waiting for an answer. "The master is busy for now," the butler said in spirit, fulfilling Hwang's request not to disturb him at the moment. A tall girl with straight black hair that reached to her knees came out of the next room. Her gaze immediately darted to Hwang's eyes. "Hyung, it looks like someone has come to see you," the stranger said. Yeji's heart seemed to stop beating, and his breath evaporated from his lungs, pressing painfully on his lower abdomen. His whole body was covered with unpleasant spasms. She couldn't resist the urge to shed a tear right in the hallway. Calmly turning to the Herald, she forced a smile to show respect. - thanks... that they let her into the house," her voice trembled painfully, showing her devastated state. He just nodded sadly, letting her go outside. Yerim understood everything and started looking for Hyunjin. "Who was... coming," Hyunjin nevertheless left the room, noticing the receding silhouette of his beloved in the aisle. Damn, she seems to have misunderstood everything. With a quick step, he caught up with Yeji, turning him around by the shoulders. The girl's red cheeks were already rolling down. "You don't have to make excuses, Hyunjin," she frantically removed her hands from her forearms."You're better worthy than me anyway." A taxi pulled up and she took one last look into the guy's eyes. Slamming the door, she squeezed her eyes shut, letting her tears run wild. After seeing the girl's condition, the female driver did not dare to ask a question. "Please take me to Haromanui Beach," Yeji whispered without opening her eyes. "Where's the marina?" the driver asked in a calm tone. After receiving only a nod, the car started moving very quickly. At the same time, Hyunjin started running towards the garage. Getting into the first one that caught his eye, he rushed to Hwang's apartment building, assuming that she would go calm down to her apartment. And the car with Yeji was almost at its destination. Deciding not to waste time, the girl took out a pen and a small notebook. After scribbling something, she left it in her hand, propping up her tears with her finger. When the driver arrived, she looked at the girl and there was sympathy in her gaze. Unable to restrain herself, she hugged Hwang tightly, pressing her head against her shoulder. "It's going to be okay," she whispered into Yeji's ear, releasing him. "Thank you very much," the girl bowed deeply before closing the door. The woman didn't even take any money from her.

***

When Hwang's car stopped next to the entrance, the guy immediately went to the door. After calling, he waited for them to pick him up. When he realized that it was useless to call, he opened a geolocation offer, which he downloaded to know where his girlfriend was. His eyes widened when he saw that she was not at home, but on the beach. At that moment, his heart started pounding like crazy and he got back into the car, driving faster. There were many reasons why she could be there. Meanwhile, Yeji was already sitting on a chair. The wind slowly ruffled her hair, and her eyes were red from hot tears. She didn't know what to do anymore. She sat down in exactly the same chair standing on the dock as in her dream. Right now, the girl was thinking of nothing but her memories. There was a lot in her memory, and that very moment came to consciousness that night, as she was drowning in the water. After eating, she got up from her chair and turned off her phone, putting it on a stool. Next to it she left the notebook she had been writing on in the taxi. The phone vibrated under the chair from Hyunjin's calls, and the bag was perched next to the leg of the stool. She didn't pay any more attention to them. Having found a cobblestone with her eyes, the girl dragged it by tying it to her feet with a strap from the bag. With her arms outstretched, she looked into the distance. "I'm sorry, Ginny, I'm sorry," she said the last thing before throwing herself into the water. The stone immediately pulled her down, blocking the passage of oxygen. She could feel the water gradually filling her lungs. It didn't hurt her. Yeji released the last of the air bubbles with a smile on her face. She no longer heard other people's footsteps and the voice of a loved one, did not feel those warm hands on her body. She's fine now. She allowed her lover to stay happy. While the girl's soul was coming out of her subconscious, she was already in the arms of a quietly crying Hyunjin. "I didn't have time," the guy thought. He really had his girlfriend in his arms right now, but she wasn't alive anymore. His bleary gaze dropped to a nearby stool. Hwang's things were on it, but he wasn't more interested in the large open notebook. There were words written on the pages. Taking it with a trembling, wet palm, he brought it closer, so that he saw what was written: "Dear Hyunjin. If you see it, it means I'm already dead. I don't blame you for my fate. It hurt me to see that I was bothering your eyes with myself, and I'm just glad that I was able to make you free and happy. Now I'm gone and you can continue dating that girl. She's very lucky to have you. She's really better than me. And I'm just the last person in the world. Please forget about me. And it's only now that I've been able to help you in some way. I will always love you..." Hwang Yeji. 26.03.2000 - 30.08.2025.