Blame It On What We Played As Kids

It was Saturday morning when Cartman sent Stan, Kyle, and Kenny a text asking them to meet in the abandoned cabin in the woods. Usually, they would ignore his request, but their fat friend had skipped School the last two days, and they were curious to learn the reason behind his absence. Of course, Kenny nor Stan, and even less Kyle, were prepared to hear Cartman say, “I’m an omega, and I need one of you to bond with me,” when they arrived at the dusty cabin. Stan was pretty sure he didn’t hear right. Kyle was positive he heard Cartman correctly, but he knew he didn’t mean to say what he said, and Kenny looked at his friends one by one before asking Cartman. “Do you want us to have sex with you?” “Fuck no. Gross!” Cartman made a gagging sound, and then, there was silence.   Stan took a deep breath, trying to understand why he decided to get into the woods instead of staying at home, and, when he did it, he caught a sweet scent that made his skin prickle and his body shudder. It was Cartman’s scent. A nice smell that he could have called more appealing than Wendy’s, but knowing it belonged to Cartman made him feel confused. “So—you want to bond without having sex?” asked, trying to focus on the situation at hand, not on his inner thoughts. Eric frowned. He had no idea why his friends were bringing up sex. He had the sensation something wasn’t right, and that sensation soon became a big red light in front of him when he realized he had summoned three alphas to a far and secluded place, without telling anyone. "Don't come near me," suddenly said, and his three companions, almost in sync, pulled back. "Don’t get stupid ideas, Cartman! We are NOT bonding with you!” Kyle knew what kind of thoughts were flooding Eric's mind and got extremely offended. “Let's go,” said to his friends. Kyle turned to leave the cabin with Stan and Kenny following him; he had zero tolerance for this shit. But when they were about to walk through the door, Cartman stopped them. “Wait! I need your help!" "Cartman, we're not going to—" “I just need one of you to bond with me!” “I said no! God, are you fucking crazy?! We don’t want to fuck you!” “I don't want anything to do with your dick! I only want you to bite my nape and bond with me!”   There was another moment of silence. Now the three knew Eric was even dumber than they thought he was. “That’s not how bonding works,” said Kenny when it was clear Stan nor Kyle were going to explain to their fat friend that to form a bond biting wasn’t enough. “Of course, that’s how it works, Kinny. I’m not stupid.” “Yeah, no. You are stupid.” Kenny snickered. “I’m not. You are!” Kyle facepalmed. “Okay, Cartman. Let's, just for a moment, pretend you aren’t being dumb as usual. Why do you want to be bonded?” Eric took offense but answered either way. “So, I don’t have to take the omega extra classes. Bonded omegas need to stay with their alphas, and alphas are not allowed in the extra classes.” Once Cartman's words sunk into his brain, Kyle rolled his eyes, thinking, of course, Eric wanted to do something as extreme as bonding, only not to take extra classes. Mature omegas didn’t need to be near their partner after bonding, but newly presented and, consequently, young omegas needed to stay next to their alphas if they didn’t want to get sick. It was amazing how Cartman could retain that information but didn’t care to remember that to bond, omegas needed to be in heat, fucked, and bitten by an alpha. “Listen. If you are an omega, you need to take those classes. Especially when it’s obvious you didn’t pay attention during sex ed.” Kyle wanted to sound calm, but some hints of annoyance slipped through his words. Cartman groaned. “I don’t need extra classes, Khal. I’m an omega now. I know everything there’s to know.” Kyle took a deep breath. He needed to find the right words to get his stupid friend's brain to understand him. But when he breathed, he unwillingly caught Cartman’s scent and lost his train of thought. He had sensed the aroma since he got inside the cabin, but it was faint and didn’t register it belonged to Cartman until that moment. “You don’t really care,” Eric pretended to feel disappointed, not noticing Kyle spaced out. “The other day, you were saying the classes omegas take are unnecessary, but when it affects me, you are suddenly okay with them because you want me to get screwed. Fucking hypocrite.” Kyle had lived as alpha only a month and a half and had little to no experience being attacked by pheromones. But was able to come back to reality pretty fast. “Forcing omegas to learn how to cook and how to do housework, and don’t allow alphas in those classes is wrong. But extra classes are more than that. You need to learn about your—omega stuff. What I was saying is that the study plan needs to be changed.” Cartman was about to argue but stayed mid-in the action because Kyle gave him an idea. “You are right! We have to change the plan! And we do that protesting!” He started having an entire conversation with himself. “I have to call the girls, none of us is going to take extra classes if you don’t join us! Is wrong we are the only ones taking those classes.” “You can’t do that.” “Why not? Don’t you want us to have a society that looks for equality? I knew you were a choivinists.” “Is chauvinist, asshole. And you don’t give a dam about equality, you just don’t want to take extra classes.” Kyle tried to reason with him, but Cartman ignored him. He took his phone out and left the cabin while texting. “Wait—” Kyle cut his words when Stan put a hand over his shoulder. “Let him be. Whatever he’s planning now is better than him nagging us to bond with him.” Kyle frowned but gave up. Stan was right. “I think someone is gonna rape his ass soon,” said Kenny casually while inhaling the trace of scent Cartman left behind. When his friends looked at him weirded out, he shrugged. “Don’t you think he smells better than anything you have smelled before? If he doesn’t learn how to take care of himself—” he finished his idea with a hand gesture. Stan let out a sigh of relief. He was so happy he wasn’t the only one who felt attracted to Cartman’s scent. He and Kyle presented around the same week, but their senses hadn’t developed at the same rhythm and sometimes he felt ashamed talking about this kind of stuff with him. Kenny usually had no shame and was better than them in that area because he was three weeks ‘older’ than them. Kyle crossed his arms, unconsciously protecting himself from Kenny’s statement. He wasn’t about to accept, not even in his mind, that Cartman’s scent was appealing. “Let’s go back home.”     On Monday, when Stan and Kyle were standing next to their lockers, getting ready for their first class, they heard Cartman screaming Kyle’s name from the other side of the hall. “Why did you do it!?” Kyle pretended not to hear Cartman, but Stan could see his lips curving up. “You! You—!” “What do you want?” Kyle closed his locker and looked Cartman deadpan in the eyes. “You get the principal to approve seats for alphas in the special omega classes!” “Yeah, so what?” “So what?!” “Look, Cartman, I didn’t want you to pretend this was something you cared for while doing everything on your hands not to succeed. Most of us are OK with going to the omega classes, the only reason we weren’t taking them is that we never requested it. I requested, and the principal approved, end of the story. If you want to fight for omegas' rights, you should look into the thousand issues they have. Issues you would know if you just take the stupid classes.” Eric frowned “You know why alphas never requested to be in those classes before?! BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO TAKE THEM!” “Whatever.” “I-I I don’t want to have classes in the same space as you! I’m going to feel uncomfortable and—” Cartman was trying to come up with another reason to skip classes. “You don’t have to. The principal approved two classrooms. You can be in the regular group that’s only for omegas. I’ll be in the mixed one for omegas and alphas, AND we are having special classes for alphas too, with the same dynamic.” Cartman was getting angrier at each of Kyle's words and his scent was getting stronger. So overwhelming that Kyle had to hold his breath and take a step back. Luckily for him, Eric had no desire to drag their argument and left screaming Kyle should go fuck himself. "We should have made Kenny bite Cartman.” Stan said a bit annoyed because now he had to take extra classes too. Kyle had to restrain himself from death glaring at him.     Cartman went down the hall until he found Kenny and Butters, and started telling them how much he hated Kyle. He usually got mad when Kyle ruined all his hard work, but today, he was feeling much more irritated and angrier than usual. Maybe bad-mouthing Kyle to Kenny and Butters would help him to calm down. At first, Kenny pretended to listen to Cartman, but as the seconds passed, he began to feel uncomfortable. It was too early in the morning, Kenny didn’t have breakfast, and Cartman’s emotions of anger and distress were drowning him. “Don’t do that,” he asked Cartman, knowing it was useless because his fat friend had been an omega for less than a week, and he could not control his pheromones. “Do what?” Cartman frowned, and Kenny started scratching his arm, hurting himself, in order to calm down. “You are giving me a headache.” "Are you on Kyle's side?" Cartman released more pheromones, and Kenny was weighing his options to calm Cartman down, maybe placing a hand over his mouth to shut him up would be a good start. When Butters asked him if he was okay, Kenny finally noticed that Butters was standing next to Eric, looking like someone who didn't feel a single thing. Something odd because he was also an alpha. He presented around the same time as him. “Can’t you smell him?” "Who? Eric?" Butters gave Cartman a curious look before leaning down and trying to sniff him by burying his nose in his neck. Kenny had the need to pull Butters away, but Eric beat him and stepped aside. “Eww, Butters. Don’t get so close to me!!” “Amm, sorry Eric.” Butters smiled and then looked at Kenny. “If something is bothering you, I don’t think is Eric. He has no scent. He presented last week. I usually start smelling omegas after they reach their first month.” “Butters! Stop being a freak and gross!” “I’m sorry Eric.” He said again, but he didn’t seem to be sorry. He was amused because Cartman’s cheeks were red. “Also, I think you are going to have a nice smell. Maybe something sweet, like cake.” “Argh,” Cartman pushed Butters away and asked Kenny as he approached him, "Are you saying I stink?" Now that Cartman had calmed down, Kenny was supposed to be able to focus. But everything around him had turned into a thick, sweet-smelling cloud, making him feel groggy. That was the smell of Eric being embarrassed. "No—I also think your smell would be cake, freshly baked." Cartman rolled his eyes, but his cheeks remained red. “If you two don’t stop harassing me. I’m going to report you to the principal.” “No, no Eric! I swear that wasn’t my intention!” said Butters, taking his words seriously, Kenny knew Eric was bluffing.   Kenny spent the first class looking at Cartman and realized he was the only one who was attracted to his scent. The rest still avoided him like the pest he was. During the next class—when he felt he was more in control of himself—he couldn't help it and sat behind Eric to stare at his nape and poke him with his pencil every time the teacher wasn’t watching. At lunch, he also tried to envelop him with his hormones, but that was unintentional. Luckily, Cartman’s sense of smell was still underdeveloped and didn't notice it. By the end of the day, Kenny was sure Cartman’s initial intention was to take the extra classes in the mixed classroom but decided to be in the omega’s classroom because he wanted to avoid him. Maybe he really meant to report him for harassment.     Stan left the classroom under the pretext of going to the bathroom, but the truth was that he didn't want to hear more about omegas biology. He had too many problems with his own body to care about others. Like how worked up he felt this morning and how hard he wished Cartman was near him never again. He wasn't sure if Kyle could also catch Cartman's scent and found the situation just as unbearable as he did, but they both reached a silent agreement to stay as far away from their fat friend as possible during classes and at launch time. Stan didn't understand how Kenny and the rest of the people at school could stand being around Cartman, but he wasn't going to ask. He was going to take that question with him to the grave. He decided to take his sweet time in the bathroom but regretted his decision when the door opened, and Cartman got inside. Stan recognized his scent even before he saw him and stood in the same place, painfully aware of Cartman's presence, while Eric didn't even make a gesture of noticing him. Instead, he went straight to the sink and turned on the tap to rinse his face. As he did so, drops of water trickled down his neck and drenched his shirt. "What?" Cartman asked without looking at him. "Nothing." Stan snapped back to reality. “What’s wrong?” "It's fucking hot." "I think you're getting sick." It was sunny outside, but Stan would hardly call that a hot day. “Do I look sick enough for the nurse to send me home?”  "No."  "Shit!"   When Stan was able to make his legs work, he left the bathroom, thinking it was better for him to spend the next half an hour in the classroom than with Eric, but his fat friend took him by the arm and dared him not to be a nerd and skip classes with him. He wasn't the type to be easily convinced, but for some reason, he was unable to say no to Cartman and they both ended up at the back of the school. Smoking. Stan really didn't like smoking, but his father found aggravating that he preferred nicotine to THC, so whenever he could he would come home smelling like tobacco. To his fortune, the smell of tobacco masked Cartman's scent, so a minute later they were just leaning against the wall, chilling, like they always did. “What's my scent?” Cartman suddenly asked and Stan almost choked. “I don’t know, man.” Stan began fearing Cartman could read his mind. “Why do you want to know?” he asked a moment later when he saw Eric looking preoccupied and self-conscious. Stan never thought he would live to see the day when Cartman felt self-conscious. "Butters and Kenny were talking about it.” Stan frowned. He didn't really care about Kenny talking about Cartman’s scent, but if Butters did it, that felt aggravating. “And what they were saying?” “That I have a nice smell, of course.” Cartman was happy, as if getting compliments on his scent from Butters was a good thing and not something they shouldn't be talking about. Stan got angry by imagining Butters telling Eric he smelled nice. Butters was the only one who would dare to boost the self-esteem of Eric Cartman, of all people. “So, are you fishing for compliments? Or do you want to know if I like you because you still want me to fuck you?” Cartman's cigarette almost fell out of his mouth. He had a rather comical expression, which Stan would have wanted to immortalize if it weren't for the fact that he got horrified as soon as he realized what he had just said. He didn't even know why he opened his mouth. Or he did know, and he just didn't want to accept that he was jealous. “I already told you I wasn’t asking you for–would you?” “Don’t ask me something like that!” Stan's face was all red. “We have known each other since we were in kindergarten. That’s fucked up.” “Yeah, you can answer that. Or you could just say ‘no,’ you know? Also, it is you who keeps thinking about sex, not me.” Stan groaned and pressed the bridge of his nose. “Then, no.” “That’s ok. I was thinking I needed to bond with someone from North Park. My mom is working there and is renting an apartment; she said she can enroll me in school using that address. They don’t allow alphas in the omegas classes. Although I do want to keep living alone, and I think Kyle had a point, I shouldn’t waste my first bonding. I need to find someone rich. Is Tolkien still your neighbor? I can visit him today and work something with him.” Stan was experiencing a roller-coaster of emotions. “Kyle never said that.” As an answer, Cartman looked at him as if he was saying nonsense.     Kyle packed up Stan's books and took his backpack with him when the class ended. He was sure Stan was hiding behind the school building, so he went straight there and got surprised to find him with Cartman; he had the impression that they were avoiding Cartman. Also, it was rare that Stan and Eric spent some time together alone. Stan immediately put out his cigarette and punched Cartman to make him do the same. Eric grimaced but also stubbed out his cigarette. Kyle didn't smoke, and his mother would go crazy if she detected any trace of tobacco on his clothes. “I brought your backpack,” he said, and Stan thanked him. He was glad because Kyle's presence saved him from continuing the uncomfortable conversation he was having with Cartman. "Are you going home now?" Kyle settled to Cartman’s side and pulled out his phone to check his notifications. Stan shrugged and was about to say today he could go back late. When Cartman said they were going to his home. “I’m not taking you to my house, ever.” “Don’t be a jerk,” Cartman used his middle and index finger to poke Stan’s temple. “Hey, fuck off.” “I’m not even planning on staying at your place.” “Either way. I’m not taking you there.” “What is this about?” Kyle didn’t feel comfortable with anyone sharing secrets with Stan and him being out of the loop. "Cartman wants to sell himself to the highest roller." Cartman scoffed. “You are just jealous that I’m an omega and I have options, whereas you are a lame alpha.” Stan snapped his head when he heard the word jealous but calmed down immediately after. “So, now we are lame.” They heard Kenny’s voice, who was arriving. He tossed Cartman his backpack. “You are the lamest of them all. It would have been better for you if you were born omega. That way you could have fucked your way out of poverty.” “I still can do that,” Kenny shrugged. Cartman was constantly insulting him, but he was sure he was doing it now because Kenny had embarrassed him earlier. Kyle put his phone away. “Then your new big idea is to whore yourself, and what does Stan's house have to do with it?" “Tolkien,” Stan replied, looking up at the sky and wishing he could have another smoke. "For real? Are you going to corner him as you did with us and ask him to have sex with you?” Cartman shook his head. There was no point in arguing with his friends that he never asked them to have sex with him. The three of them were idiots; he had always known that. "Why not? If you think about it, it’s the best option.” If only Cartman could read body language, or he could even pick up on his friends' scent. He would have realized that the three of them got angry. "A whore, like your mother, really?" Kyle attacked him unceremoniously. "No, a one-man whore, like your mother."   Kenny and Stan knew that things could only escalate when Kyle and Cartman started insulting their mothers. But no one expected Kyle to grab Eric’s shoulders and slam him against the wall. They were never supposed to hit an omega, but that was because omegas were usually girls, so they were in a gray area and they didn't know how to react. Also, these were Cartman and Kyle. Kyle didn’t know why he felt such sudden anger, nor couldn’t understand why he cared about Cartman's life choices. “You can’t just bond with anyone. Less for a reason as stupid as money.” “Are you hearing yourself?” Money wasn’t and will never be a stupid reason. Kyle tried to calm himself. The smell of tobacco was fading. “This is not me wanting to antagonize you. You need to take care of yourself.” “Wow. Kyle, you are still with the hypocrisy.” Cartman had a devilish smile. “Trying to impose your moral standards over mine. Because I’m an omega, now you feel the need to control me?” “What-No, of course not!” “Cause I'm just a girl, oh, little old me; well, don't let me out of your sight.” He started to sing, and Kyle cringed. “That’s not it! You, I—” Kyle was feeling embarrassed, angry, and confused. “I’m saying you should be careful and—” "Oh, I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite, so don't let me have any rights." “I’m not saying—” “Tell me, Khal, please, protect me from myself.” “You shouldn’t ask people to bond with you when you don't know what you're talking about!” Kyle almost screamed, heated up, forgetting to breathe through his mouth. He was filling his lungs with Cartman’s pheromones. “And you do.” “More than whatever you think you do!” Then he started closing the distance between them. “What are you doing?” Eric felt his pulse quickened, and was more curious by Kyle’s proximity rather than scared. Even if Kyle looked kind of mad, he didn’t seem to be about to hurt him. To be honest, Kyle wasn’t sure what he was thinking. He wanted to show Cartman why saying he was going to bond with the first dude who was willing was wrong; at the same time, he wanted to disappear the sudden anger he felt. So, without thinking, he let himself be drowned by Cartman’s scent and buried his face in his neck. Then he traced it with the tip of his tongue, near to his scent glands. “Ky—” Eric shuddered and tried to move his hands to push Kyle apart, but another lick made him lose his train of thought, and unconsciously tilted his head to give Kyle more space. Kyle took his movement as an invitation and decided to give him a soft bite.   “We are still here, you know?” said Kenny. At first, he was mesmerized by what was happening, but he drew the line when his environment was about to get too dense for him to handle. Stan was spaced out but also came back to reality when Kenny spoke. Eric and Kyle broke away. Kyle’s heart was racing, and he was pretty sure his blood had pooled around his crotch. “Do you get it now?” he said breathlessly. “Bonding means more than scenting, and you can’t do that with someone you don’t love nor trust.” Eric could do nothing more than stare at Kyle; he felt like he was in a cloud of pleasurable and confusing sensations. Kyle wasn’t meant to make him feel like this, and maybe Kyle was right. They had known each other for years, and even though he was sure that idiot redhead wouldn’t hurt him, he got scared when he realized that—if it hadn’t been for Kenny—he would have let Kyle do whatever he wanted. He didn’t like the idea of giving anyone that kind of control over him. “I—I’m going home.” He didn’t know what else he could do. Also, he was very agitated, and staying with his three friends was not helping him to think. Kyle was the second one to leave. He took his backpack and started walking without saying a word. There was no telling where he intended to go, but it wasn't to his house. He had gone in the opposite direction. “I guess I'm going home too," Stan said uncomfortably. He adjusted his backpack to the height of his crotch, so it was pretty obvious what he was trying to hide. Kenny also had something to hide, and he also had a tremendous desire to go home, lock himself in his room, and process everything that had happened. He would probably end up touching himself. But the most responsible and probably the most primal part of his brain told him there was no way he was going to let Eric go home alone after what had happened. He wasn't going to walk beside him. No. At that moment, he would rather look like a stalker than deal with him. He didn't know how Eric would react. Maybe he was going to ignore them for the next few days; maybe he was going to plot how to kill them, or, at best, he would shrug it off and sing them the rest of Just a Girl.