The permafrost of our souls

Another revolting thing, apart from conversations with Kunze, was Kara’s infrequent trips to the showers. In any other place, you’d struggle to drag her from hot water—but not in this hellhole. They marched her to the bathroom, a row of stalls separated by thin partitions, at night like she was a leper. The water ran cold, barely registering on her skin where flesh and chill met. She wiped a hand across the fogged mirror, leaving streaks of fat droplets, trying to find her old self in the gaunt face. Pressed a finger to her shoulder where a bruise bloomed dark—felt only a dull throb thanks to the painkillers they’d jabbed into her after the last “disciplinary session.” She twisted, trying to see the hastily stitched knife wound on her back in the glass. She tugged on her coveralls, using the fabric to half-dry her hair—no towels for her. Feeling the cloth cling unpleasantly to damp skin, she stepped back into the corridor, peeling the material away every few steps. “I’ll take her.” The voice cut through thoughts of a threadbare blanket. It came from right behind her ear. She looked up, meeting the Soldier’s heavy stare before he shifted it to the boy escorting her. A nod, and the boy retreated toward the barracks. The man grabbed Kara’s arm and hauled her down the corridor. “They don’t wipe your memory? Not yet?” Kara whispered, bare feet stumbling over stones in the concrete floor. “Overheard chatter in the showers. Young guards. They talk.” The Winter Soldier stayed silent. She hadn’t expected an answer. “Losing memories… seems worse than what they do to me,” she mused, taking his silence as permission. She changed her mind when he spun her abruptly, shoving a hand hard onto her bruised shoulder. “Worry about yourself,” he snapped. Kara stared into his blue eyes, the words sliding past her. She was losing it. “Kunze wants to try those worms on you. Only because the last batch of recruits all died.” She exhaled as he released her, dragging her deeper into the tunnel’s concrete gut. She tried to piece together the meaning of his words, pressing a hand to her forehead—was she feverish? Maybe isolation had driven her mad, locked in that tiny room with only sleep and the algae she’d come to hate. Was that why she kept searching this phantom Soldier for an ally, a friend? He shoved her through an opening, giving her eyes no time to adjust to the gloom. Kara stumbled down steps, catching sight of the tank—a long, transparent thing like some mutated egg. “See you’ve got fight left,” Richard Kunze greeted her, tearing his gaze from a worker’s monitor. “Credit to the algae, hm?” “Yes,” Kara nodded, tension locking her body. She wanted to look back at the Soldier, could only soothe herself with the phantom feel of his breath on her wet hair. Kunze jerked his chin at the tank. Kara’s legs felt numb as she approached, like walking to an execution. Her reflection rippled in the disturbed water. “Not in the clothes, surely,” Richard sighed. “My oversight.” Jaw clenched, face a mask, Kara unbuttoned the coveralls and let them drop. She couldn’t bear to look at her own body, let alone the faces in the room. Slowly, she sank into the cold, dark water. Gooseflesh erupted instantly. She fixed her eyes on the ceiling, avoiding every gaze. Two faces loomed above her. Before fear could spike, something clattered onto the water’s surface beside her. Kara jerked upright, gripping the tank’s edge. Flat eels writhed in the water, glowing sickly green in the dark. A second later, she thrashed, scrambling to escape the fish’s burning touch. She tried to haul herself out, but pain seized her body, dragging her back under. The eels, frenzied now, coiled tighter around Kara, searing her flesh. Kara flung herself over the edge, arms scrabbling for the floor. Only then did she register the silence. No voices. No splashing. She looked back. Only she remained in the tank, skin laced with jagged purple-blue burns where the eels had gripped. “Success,” Kunze exhaled, personally wrapping the shivering girl in a large towel the moment she clambered out. “Not… precisely as envisioned.” Kara stood silent, eyes wide with terror. She moved toward the Soldier. He met her with a cold stare. She bit her tongue, fighting tears as he received his next order. He didn’t drag her this time. He let her walk slightly ahead, steering her with curt commands. Kara buried her face in the towel, trembling, leaving wet footprints until the water finally evaporated from her skin, leaving her colder still. He led her to her cell and thrust forward a grey bundle he’d carried. Pulling one hand from the towel, she took the folded, clean coveralls. The light clicked off as she stepped inside.