The permafrost of our souls

“Faster!” “I’m trying!” Kara, nervous under pressure, couldn’t tear her eyes away from the control cabin receding below them. She was trying to hold in her memory the control panel she was manipulating to make their cabin ascend quicker. The girl jerked her hand once more as James, leaning out of the shattered window, returned fire at the people below trying to get into the control room. Another cabin whistled and rattled past them underneath, shaking the cable, and Kara knew they were halfway there, but it was too late to stop. Closing her eyes, she could clearly see the dust-covered table before her, among other, practically useless buttons and levers, the one she needed. Kara saw long threads extending from her fingers, wrapping around the lever, preventing it from switching back. A shiver ran down her spine as she realized what would happen in a second, but she could do nothing. Their cabin crashed into a ledge in the mountain, dislodging an avalanche of snow that rolled down the slope in a wave, burying everything in its path. Kara, shattering the window with her back from the impact, was thrown onto the ledge, buried in the snow they had disturbed. James, slinging his rifle over his shoulder, was already climbing through the cabin to get out through the window the girl had broken. He crouched in front of Kara, brushing snow from her face. Her eyes were open, but her glassy pupils didn’t react to the snowflakes melting on the whites of her eyes. Bucky grabbed Kara by the hands, dragging her deeper into the cave, pulling her out from under the snow. He laid her against the wall, thinking about what to do next. The cave was dark despite the entrance being nearby. The man turned on a flashlight, placing it on the floor next to Kara, and noticed a narrow passage skirting the edge of cold, dark water, leading somewhere deeper into the mountain. Having come up with an idea, James, attaching the flashlight to his backpack, grabbed the girl’s hands again, hauling her onto his back. Kara hung dead weight, her elbows bent awkwardly where Bucky held her, and her head thumped uncomfortably against the back of his skull with every step. Snagging his clothes on sharp rocks, he dragged her further in, where the cave opened into a rocky bubble, in the center of which was a perfectly round pit filled with water. James, laying the girl back down on the floor, knew this pit had no bottom—further down it narrowed into a tunnel, connecting with others like it, forming a network. Rolling up his sleeve, Bucky lowered his arm into the water, groping along the slimy wall of the pit, trying to find the algae, but jerked his hand back just in time when brightly green eels' jaws snapped beneath his fingers. The man looked at Kara, lying motionless on the floor, and got up, walking over to her. Carefully, as if afraid to wake her or not believing what he was doing, he stripped off her clothes, leaving her in her underwear. When he picked her up, James barely felt any warmth from her skin, as if she had cooled instantly; only her clothes had been holding heat. He leaned slightly over the water, reconsidering one last time if he should do this, then lowered the girl’s body, letting it disappear into the dark water. Turning back to Kara’s things, Bucky ran a hand through his hair, understanding that if nothing happened, he would never escape this guilt that would stay with him forever. James had thought many times about rolling the dice, saying it was Kara’s brother, but that would only ease the girl’s conscience, while he would hate himself for the rest of his life. And now, here he was—under the sharp dome of the cave, having fed a person who understood him and wasn’t afraid of him, after all he’d done, to unknown fish. Bubbles swelled on the black surface, shattering James’s thoughts. He took a step back, preparing for what might emerge from the water. White hands broke the surface, grabbing the slippery, wet edge of the pit. Bucky caught the girl’s hands, pulling her out. Kara looked terrified, nervously pushing wet hair from her face and trying to curl into a ball from the cold. She gasped for air as if she couldn’t get enough, rubbing her eyes to clear an unpleasant film from her pupils. Kara let out a noisy exhale, calming her heart, and only then noticed the jacket wrapped around her shoulders. She looked up, meeting Bucky’s gaze as he held the rest of her clothes, his face showing no concern. Kara reached out a hand covered in fresh burn marks and took the pile of clothing. “Why did you throw me in the water?” she asked, getting dressed and trying to stop the shivering that was making her muscles seize up. “There were eels,” James didn’t look away, watching her actions, but she didn’t care. “Something similar happened to me before, but I just slept it off,” Kara shrugged. “I should have warned you, sorry.” Once dressed, the girl tied her wet hair into a ponytail, tucking it under her hood, and looked at the dark water, its surface smooth again, showing no signs of life within. She looked around, clenching her fist against the pain from the eel encounter, thinking the place seemed familiar. “Can we get to the bunker from here?” she clarified, knowing Bucky would have the answer, and he nodded.