God Bless America

Demo didn’t need to inform the rest of the team about the incident with Soldier. Scout took care of it the next morning, once Soldier left the building. “Solly knows not all of us are Americans!” Then, as he dashed through the base with flailing arms, he added, “Blame cyclops and his big yap! It wasn’t my freaking fault!” In Demo’s humble opinion, the Scout could have handled it better. The shouting resulted in a headache. Now, his teammates were also in various states of discontent with him. To make it worse, it was Monday today, which was the worst day of the week. This day did not look hopeful for Demo. He promised himself a drinking session once this was all over. Currently, everyone gathered in the damp shower room for an emergency meeting. Everyone would also blame Demo for choosing this meeting place. In Demo’s defence, Medic’s infirmary smelled too much like antiseptic and death. Engie’s workshop was full of deadly contraptions and hidden traps. The actual meeting room was too obvious of a location. Even Soldier would know to look in there once he caught a whiff of the meeting’s existence. “It’s the biggest room we have right now! Solly wouldn’y be suspecting of us being in here.” Demo crossed his arms, wishing he could down a bottle of scrumpy right now. It would help with his developing headache. Spy glanced around at the circle of teammates. He shifted away whenever someone invaded his personal space. Then he looked over at Demo with a raised eyebrow, his cigarette in hand. “Uch, I’d like to see you do better!” “I said nothing.” Not that he needed to. His scowl and wrinkled nose did the speaking. It was useless to pursue an argument right now. There was a bigger issue at hand. First, Demo had to relay the full story to the team, with occasional interjections from Scout. That was not the hard part. The hard part was the discussion, in which nobody could agree on anything. That was when the Scout decided to act. “I knew reading was freakin’ dangerous!” The Scout grabbed the leather book from Demo’s grip. It was a terrible way of lightening up the mood, if that was Scout’s goal. Today didn’t need this nonsense. Demo reached out for the book “That’s my seanmhair’s book ye wee brat!” “Eat my dust, cyclops!” That would be his last words! Demo would make sure of it. While Scout was fast, even that could be a disadvantage. He did not account for the slickness of the floor. He fell right on his back. Nearby, Spy snorted and made a comment. He muttered it lowly, as the rest of the mercenaries were too busy observing the chaos. The only indicator of his comment’s existence was when Engie elbowed him in the ribs with a stern look. With the Scout incapacitated, Demo was able to catch up. But the Scout aimed the leather book at Pyro. “Yo, mumbles! Catch!” Demo had to thank his grandmother for bounding the book together. There was even a sturdy leather strip to wound around it. That was the only reason the book was still intact. If it were falling apart, everybody in this room would be dead by now. Scout tossed the book at Pyro’s waving hands. But he misjudged the angle. He missed the Pyro. Instead, the book landed into Medic’s open hands, as he was busy gesturing to the Heavy. Upon noticing the sudden weight in his hands, Medic passed the book to Heavy. “Not my problem,” he muttered. Heavy made a move to pass the book back to Demo, but Scout ambushed him. Demo knew Scout did not mean to be outright malicious. Sure, he talked big and barked hard. Yet he was being a wee shit for the sake of lightening up the mood. While Demo could appreciate that, they still needed to focus! But most of all, Demo needed his book back. “Get back here, you wee-” Scout threw the book at Pyro. “Catch!” By instinct, Pyro spiked the book, as if it were a volleyball. They tossed it back and forth to each other, evolving into a volleyball game. Demo saw that his book was in no real danger, but he still wanted it back. He squeezed himself into the game. Best to go with the flow right now. He could catch his book when the time was right. At this point, the other occupants of the room were getting bored by this turn of events. Demo could tell, from how much everyone was glancing at the door. The meeting from earlier was going nowhere. They needed an interruption until everyone could absorb the facts. He’ll make sure to call another meeting at a later date. If he remembers. “If no one is dying, I will be in my lab.” Medic turned to walk towards the door. “But what about the Soldier?” asked Demo, before catching his book. He kept it close to his chest while eyeing the Scout. Medic waved a hand. “He has done nothing so far. I haven’t even seen him all day!” At that moment, Soldier kicked open the door to the shower room. Like a true American. “What are you maggots doing in here?” He crossed his arms. “I come back from rocket-jumping to see the base empty. I thought the aliens invaded again!” It wasn’t the wildest conclusion the Soldier could reach. By Soldier standards, it was tame. After all, there had been a past alien invasion. It was a weird time. No one ever learned why aliens needed milk bottle delivered to their ships. Still, it was fun while it lasted. Soldier tilted his head. Even without his helmet, it was clear he would be raising his eyebrows. “Are you all… having a secret meeting without me?” The room was silent. Demo gave nervous glances to his surrounding teammates, hoping that one of them had an answer. He could not trust himself right now. “Yes,” replied the Spy. Demo was hoping it would be anybody else except the Spy who had the answer. Engie gave Spy another stern look before turning to Soldier’s directions. He made a calming gesture. “Hold on, Solly-” Soldier interrupted him. “This is plain un-American!” Demo winced at the word choice. He prepared to cut in before Soldier could say anything offensive. “I’ll show you a real and proper American meeting this Wednesday! You better show up at zero seven-hundred hours in the meeting room!” He then raised a fist. “If you do not, I will drag you out of bed and make you run laps until you’re begging to be buried in a box! And then you would wish you showed up.” “That’s two hours later than your usual wake-up calls, mate,” said the Sniper. Ever since the first week of being a team, nobody paid attention to Soldier's wake-up calls. Even Demo would sleep in unless one of his hangovers caused him to wake up earlier. Which happened more often than he’d like to admit. “Are you questioning me, private?” Sniper shrugged. Of course, as he slept in his camper van, Sniper often did not have to deal with Soldier’s morning shenanigans. Except for those rare days when Soldier paid him visits. But Sniper’s sleep-deprived threats of shooting him was an effective deterrent. Still, it never lasted long. Demo should know. He was the one who always told Soldier that bothering Sniper was not recommended. Each time, he would be the first one to hear reports of each failed visit. Soldier turned around and reached for the door handle. “Show up anyways!” Then he paused. “Engie, I have borrowed your recording device for personal reasons. You can have it back after the meeting.” With that said, he marched out of the room. “What in the-” Engie shook his head before pushing past his teammates. “Now, Soldier! You best be giving that back to me, y’hear?” He rushed outside the door. That started a domino effect of everybody else exiting the room. Soon, Demo was alone with his book and his thoughts. He should talk to the Soldier as soon as possible. He hoped the other still considered him a friend, regardless of his nationality. If there was anything Demo feared the most, it would be to lose Soldier’s friendship.