Carry You

Weiss followed Blake into the dining hall and she huddled behind the other girl. A lot the people were gathered around the table. Well, she’d been at banquet tables with fifty people before but this felt more intimidating. Blake had said she was supposed to get to know these people. How was she supposed to get to know people? She’d never done that with anybody before. She didn’t want to reflect poorly on the Belladonnas. She hadn’t learned any manners yet so she was bound to screw up a lot. She’d already made a faux paux at breakfast the other day which probably reflected poorly on the Belladonnas. She was trying her best but she’d only been there for like two and a half days. Nobody could expect her to really adapt fully in that short amount of time, right? She hoped she could start her lessons tomorrow. She really didn’t want to upset things too much. Blake motioned for her to sit in a chair and she settled down. She sat next to Blake and smoothed out her skirts. There was so much fluff underneath this… Why were there so many layers? Not even Atlas went this overboard with clothes! Maybe a couple layers of petticoats but not thismuch! She wished she could take some of it off. At least the nightgowns weren’t too restrictive. She definitely preferred the nightclothes to the day clothes. Atlas only had a few layers even at the worst of times. “Everyone, I’m sure you’ve already heard the rumor mill. Dutchess Varela and family, you’ll have already seen her. This is Weiss Schnee, our new changeling. I hope you’ll all treat her well.” Kali stood to speak and she smiled at Weiss then the rest of those gathered. She noticed the Varela dutchesses looked uncomfortable and she could understand why. She looked at Blake and spoke quietly. “Is there any protocol for apologising?” Normally, apologies would be plain manipulation. They were nothing but pure manipulation. She had never seen anybody apologise sincerely in her life except for Winter who was always honest with her. But in this case, she did feel legitimately remorseful for hurting the dutchesses. Blake shook her head. “Not really. Be sincere is the main thing. Even with the shielding ring, fae can easily sense deception.” That wasn’t unnerving at all. Not that she really likedto lie, but it was so important in Atlassian society. Truth was nothing but a way for people to manipulate others. How could she move from strategic lying and half truths to being honest? She really didn’t understand. It was so awful. She hated all of this. She still felt like she was trapped despite havng full run of the manor. Maybe she would feel better in the coming days though. Weiss looked at Kali who offered her a warm smile and nod. Taking a breath, she stood and looked at the pair. “Dutchesses Varela, I apologise for my mistake a breakfast the other day. THe society I come from is very…traditional. Men are in complete power over women. I’ve never really been allowed to learn outside of what President Jacques saw fit. I never knew that two women could be together. I truly didn’t know better. I have a lot to learn about fae society. If you can be patient with me, I’m willing to unlearn what was deemed wrong by my home society.” Speaking publicly like this was uncomfortable. She was supposed to remain silent and not do things like this. Only men were allowed to speak at public gatherings like this. But the dutchesses deserved an apology. She really had a lot to learn. She was still fresh out of Schnee manor so that she hoped this would be acceptable. She settled back in her seat and Blake squeezed her hand. “You did well,” she whispered, barely audible. It sure didn’t feel like it… All of this was incredibly confusing and overwhelming. She really didn’t know how to handle ay of this. She just wanted this guilt to go away. The two dutchesses looked at each other then at Weiss. They spoke quietly between themselves for a few minutes. Weiss’ heart threatened to pound out of her chest. She was doing her best and had been sincere. Had they thought she wasn’t? She really was. Well, she did feel like it was manipulation, but her words had been true. She felt bad. She had a lot to learn. She simply hadn’t known any better about women and women… Would they accept her apology? “Very well. We can sense your sincerity. It’s hard for us to really fathom a place and time where this isn’t acceptable…” The redhead looked at her though the blue-haired one looked down. “How can you possibly live in a world where women and men are not equal and you cannot marry who you love?” “I…really don’t know. My whole life was only a single manor until this… It’s simply what my world was.” She didn’t know if the question was rhetorical or not. She was simply being honest. Atlas made perfect sense to her because it was what she knew. All of this fae stuff was what seemed nonsensical to her. Marriage was supposed to be about family alliances and continuing bloodlines. That was all it was for in her mind. Yet those were not the goals of fae marriage at all. Procreation defied gender here somehow. It wasn’t for continuing bloodlines for inheritance inherently, or so it seemed. She just could not wrap her mind around any of this. It defied all of the logic she knew and contradicted it. “The human world is a strange one.” She saw the blue-haired dutchess shoot Kali a dark look and the woman’s ears flicked back. What was passing between them? Whatever it was, it obviously wasn’t good. And it was probably about her. Had she done something wrong to upset the blue-haired dutchess further by apologising? She was trying her best but she kept bungling up apparently. She hated all of this so much.Everything kept blowing up in her face despite her best attempts. “The fae world is similar for me. Everything I thought was right can apparently be different. I’m doing my best to learn and adapt, though.” Hopefully that wasn’t offensive. She was reallytrying to do her best here…. She hoped that she could start lessons tomorrow. She was absolutely trying her best but it simply didn’t seem to be good enough. “I suppose we all have some learning to do.” The blue-haired dutchess spoke sharply, still having her attention on Kali. Something was definitely up. The woman was veryangry at Kali for some reason. Why? At least it wasn’t directed at her… She was really trying her best here. What else could she do? She’d apologised even though everything in her experience told her otherwise… Fae were probably as capable of manipulation as humans were. Nobody was incapable of it. She still didn’t want to think about being honest… It would open her up to so much potential harm. They did a round of introductions and Weiss found herself overwhelmed with the amount of names and faces. “I pray you can bear with me while I learn all of your names. It’ll take me some time.” She had twelve people to learn for dinner alone. She always took time to learn people. Unfortunately, she did learn some people quicker than others due to their demeanors. Aude Varela would stick in her mind due to how she was acting toward Kali. She did look over at Blake when Asaph, one of the Varela children, was introduce as nonbinary. What did that mean? She really didn’t know. She had never encountered such a term before. And he orshe pronouns? Weren’t people one or the other? How could somebody have both? Blake squeezed her hand. “I’ll explain after dinner, okay?” she whispered. “Just try to be respectful for now.” Weiss nodded. She didn’t understand but she could at least do that much, she supposed. It at least didn’t take too long for the conversation to drift to things beyond Weiss’ understanding. About all she could pick out was something about deities and ceremonies and something else. She really didn’t understand. However, the girl on her other side tapped her shoulder. She did look familiar but she couldn’t place it. “Would you like to meet my eagle after dinner?” Oh, right, the eagle girl. Valerie, she thought? “Your name is Valerie, right?” Yes, she’d just heard everyone's names but she hadn’t entirely retained them. The eagle had really spooked her on her first night here by coming up to her. It was hard to remain calm when such a large bird was so near. She hadn't even met a dog or cat before, so to be approached by such a large bird was kind of terrifying for her. The girl nodded. “Yep! I’m Valerie Jardine! I’m two hundred.” She was about the same as Kali and Ghira? She was old enough to be Blake’s mother, but she didn’t look a day older than Weiss herself.This long-lived aging made no sense. Did she have any plans to get married anytime soon…? She still didn’t understand how this society functioned… All of this magic was so confusing. Would she ever get used to this insanity? “Well, I’m Weiss as you know by now…” It was awkward since she’d been introduced to everyone. She was used to introducing herself individually…or at least having President Jacques do it… She really wasn’t supposed to speak to anybody unless spoken to. Especially if that person was a man. “It’s nice to formally meet you instead of talking to you through a window.” Valerie smile and Weiss nodded a bt. “Likewise.” It was never pleasant to meet anybody in truth. People were terrible. They only ever had their own best interests at heart. The only person she’d met that didn’t was Winter. Winter… She already missed her sister terribly. And to think they may never see each other again… She wanted nothing more than to curl up in her sister’s arms and forget any of this had ever happened. She did see Blake’s ears twitch and Valerie frowned a bit. Dang, had they really picked up on that little bit of deception? People really were simply the worst in her experience. How could she be pleased anybody at any point? “Anyway would you like to meet my eagle formally after dinner? She’s been pretty worried about you since she saw you.” “Sure.” She was getting into falconry, so meeting more birds of prey probably wasn’t a bad idea. She would not be working with eagles, though. She’d start with Liliana’s smallest birds. The eagle was massive and intimidating. How anybody could want to work with eagleswas beyond her. But if it worked, it worked, she supposed… “Blake said you were an animal handler. Do you specialise in raptors or do you handle other animals?” That felt like a relatively safe, non-offensive question. Hopefully it wouldn’t cause a scene. “For the most part, yeah. I work with our family falconer and train our personal security. A lot of people say the job is beneath me, but I really enjoy it. I take other nobles out hunting with eagles so they can see the magnificent spectacle. There’s nothing like watching an eagle on a soar go after a hare or even a fox or wolf.” Weiss’ eyebrows sprang up at that. “You hunt wolves?” Was that bird really capable of that? It looked incredibly powerful, but it felt like a stretch to hunt wolveswith it. Plus, wasn’t it overkill and kind of cruel? She couldn’t imagine going after Dorosi or his pack. Though she thought she remembered something about unicorn forest animals being different… How could there be so much variance in— Magic. That seemed to be the explanation for everything. “It’s not usually our aim, but sometimes we’ll go on hunting excursions for wolves. But it’s usually hares since they’re the eagle’s natural prey. Super thrilling experience to see an eagle come from a soar then stoop to a hare. There’s nothing more exhilarating in Koiria—to me, at least. If you’d like to join us on a hunt at some point, you’re free to.” Valerie smiled and Weiss nodded. “I might take you up on it some time.” It sounded interesting. The little tussle between the kestrel and the songbird yesterday had been pretty athletic, so she could only imagine what it would be like scaled up to an eagle and a hare…or even a wolf.How insane would that be to see? “Our next outing will be next week. So if you want, I can contact Blake and you two can come along. Sound like a plan?” “Sure.” Though…what about her lessons? She couldn’t really skip them, could she? At least not once they started… But Blake had skipped the past two days with no repercussions… This world made no sense at all. She looked at Blake. “But what about lessons…?” “What about them?” She tilted her head, obviously genuinely confused. “We can’t skip them, can we? Won’t our teachers be mad?” How could Blake not see it? And wouldn’t her parents kill them? They werepaying the teachers and it would waste their money to have them not do their jobs for a day or two. Blake shrugged.”My parents don’t care if I miss a day or two here and there. We’re nobles, so we can do what we want. As long as I’m not missing weeks, it’s fine with them.” That…felt so wrong. She could remember how angry President Jacques got when shever she fell sick. He always raved about the waste of money it was for teachers to not teach. It was never her fault when she got sick but he sure acted like it was. Viruses didn’t choose who they infected and she was so often the victim… She didn’t have much immunity due to how sterile Schnee manor was… “Well, all right…” She still couldn’t shake the feeling Kali and Ghira would be angry. But they were engaged in conversation with some of the other fae adults so she couldn’t ask. She saw Valerie grin. “There won’t be anything more exciting you’ve seen in your life. I promise you won’t regret coming.” “Liliana is teaching me falconry, so I figure I should come and see if I can learn anything.” That was the main reason she was coming. She really wasn’t much for the blood sport part of it yet. Though she frowned. “I thought the only ethical time to fly birds on prey was the colder months.” Why was Valerie flying her birds in the middle of summer if that was the case? Plus, what about the molt? It seemed like Valerie was going against the basic precepts of falconry, at least as far as she knew. Valerie shrugged. “Unless they’re mating, I fly my eagles year ‘round. Most falconers only fly in the colder seasons, but I’m not most falconers. They’re my birds and it’s my family’s property. I can do what I want.” That was entirely fair, she supposed. As long as she knew what she was doing, who was she to argue? She didn’t know the first thing about falconry. She had only the barest introduction to it so far. Valerie had dedicated herself to this art and had probably been at this for decades. Who was she to question somebody with possibly an entire human’s lifetime worth of experience? “How long have you been flying birds?” That also felt like a pretty safe question. “About fifty years. Most of us start apprenticeships at about a hundred fifty, one twenty at earliest, though that’s pretty rare. Our family falconer trained me.” Weiss nodded. It was still so strange to hear the equivalent of human lifetimes tossed around so casually. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever get used to it. But if she was supposed to live as long as Blake said, she would have quite some time to toss around as well. “I’m only sixteen, so it’s insane to think you’ve been doing something so long…” It really was. Valerie smiled. “Well, it’s normal here. We’ll be alive for thousands of years so doing something for centuries isn’t too unusual. Some kids start writing or doing certain arts as young as single digits. By time they’re adults, their path is often pretty set.” Wait, people could go into what they wantedto? That…was crazy to think about. Kids were only supposed to follow what their families told them to in Atlas. She was supposed to take over the SDC. That was it. She wasn’t supposed to do anything else. Though with Auria there, she wasn’t sure what she’d do here… She was really without any sort of direction here. All she knew was that she hated music and was interested in falconry… She wasn’t sure what else to do here. How was she supposed to find her way in a completely alien world? “Have you ever tried anything like writing?” Valerie tilted her head and Weiss shook hers. “I’ve never read fiction before. I have notes on dust, but I’m not sure if you’d count that as ‘writing’ really…” She had notebooks on notebooks about dust, none of which she’d never given to given to President Jacques. She’d hidden them behind gutted books so he wouldn’t find them. She knew he would try to profit off the ideas if he ever saw them and take credit for her discoveries. The world would be a vastly different place if those discoveries were out in the world, but she wouldn’t let him take the credit for what she’ddone. “That is really weird to me. Most fae read fiction. Why don’t you?” Weiss bit her lip at the question. Her response would open her up to potential manipulation. She couldn’t answer this. And fae could detect half truths and lies innately. How could she possibly answer this? Blake squeezed her hand. “If you don’t want to answer something, you can say pass or answer how you’re comfortable, then decline further comment. Fae respect boundaries. It isn’t deception to say there’s more to your answer while not giving it.” That…was a relief. She could answer up to a certain point, but she didn’t want to say too much either. It felt like a catch-22 but as long as there was a way out… “I’m simply not too interested in fiction when I could be spending time studying. There is more but I would rather keep that to myself.” She looked at Blake who nodded. So she’d done that right… She was glad. She was trying to not reflect too negatively on the Belladonnas… That was at least an acceptable answer. “Studying all the time is boring. Why not take up some fiction to get away from the mundanity?” “It’d rather not answer that.” She had barely gotten any time to read in Schnee manor. She loved to learn and anything that took away from it was a distraction and unwanted. She really couldn’t imagine spending what little reading time she had with fiction. Flight of fancy had no place in a Schnee’s life anyway. People that couldn’t deal with reality were weak and had no place in the Schnee family. Valerie made a face. “You’re really clammed up.” How could she not be? One sign of weakness and it would all be over for her. SHe might lose herself or her standing in Atlassian society. She really did nothave any desire to be taken advantage of in this new, alien world. She had protected herself in Atlas and she would continue to protect herself here. “Well, where are you planning on starting with falconry?” That was something she could answer with no repercussions as far as she could see. “Liliana has some aplomados and kestrels. They’re not too intimidating.” They felt like a much safer place to start rather than going for something huge like the Harris hawk or redtail. Even being nearthem felt a little intimidating. How would she hold or work with them if she felt so scared? Even the owls were large enough to really make her second guess this entire endeavor. That one owl had really scared her with the aggression it’d shown toward her and Dorosi… How did one get over the large falcons and possibility of being attacked to work with larger birds? “Honestly, you’re in pretty good hands with Liliana. Red tails and Harris hawks are great for beginners. Micro hawking his honestly a bit harder than with larger birds. A few grams off can mean the difference between life and death for a micro hawk or falcon. Harris hawks are incredibly forgiving and red tails are fairly laid back for the most part. I know Liliana will watch over you, but you still need to be careful with micro falcons. You have to be incredibly precise with them.” Weiss nodded. “I’m Remnant’s leading dust expert and being precise. Even hundredths of grams can mean a major differences in experients.” Precision was nothing new to her. If keeping micro falcons was a precise thing, then she’d probably be good at it. She was never one to overlook details, no matter how small they were. Ignoring details could mean the difference between success and disaster and it sounded like microhawking abided by those principles… “I tried micros for a few seasons but I found them too high maintenance for me personally. My mentor had a few and had me take over for a couple seasons, but I almost killed her kestrel. I was a lot better at flying much larger birds like gyrfalcons and eagles.” Valerie shrugged. “Maybe you’ll find your strengths lie where mine didn’t Still, I would suggest not passing up the larger birds either. They’ll let you understand weight management without potentially killing a micro.” “But they’re intimidating.” She hadn’t really gotten a good look at the talons, but it wasn’t hard to imagine how huge they were. She didn’t want to potentially kill a bird, but the larger ones were so incredibly unnerving. Would Liliana even trust her with her micros if death was so easy to potentially happen? “They aren’t that bad once you get used to them.” Valerie shrugged again. “It’s not like you’re starting off with a gyr or a golden. A Harris or a red tail is a great starting bird especially if you train it yourself. But once you’re used to the behavior patterns and training, I would suggest getting your own bird maybe next season. Start off with the red tail or Harris, then move to micros.” Weiss looked down. She really would rather start with the micros and work her way up. The larger birds were so intimidating. How was she supposed to approach them? It felt like an impossible task. She really didn’t want to work with the larger birds. “I’ll think about it.” It was all she could promise. She’d think about it. Though she really didn’t want to. She did have a question though… “What are those cells the birds stay in are called?” It was bothering her. They didn’t seem like cells with how at least the manor’s security were allowed to come and go… But that was all she could compare to it… Valerie blinked. “Oh, they’re called mews. They look like cells because it’s much safer to put bars on a raptor’s holding area than use any kind of mesh. Mesh can severely damage their feathers especially if the bird is free loved which is standard practice here.” “Free lofted…?” What did that mean? “You can either tie a bird to a perch in mews or let them fly free in it. Most falconers here choose to let their birds fly in the mews, so that’s called free lofting.” “I see.” There was so much to learn about falconry. She hoped she would stick with it because it was interesting, but the hunting aspect still wasn’t super appealing to her. Watching it was interesting, but she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to handle dead animals herself, let alone breaking down and butchering those animals. She at least had some time until the hunting season began to make up her mind. Plus, she could sometimes go on hunting expeditions with Valerie to help further make up her mind… It’d let her see the hunting aspect up close and person and on a larger scale than songbirds. Though this did leave her to wonder… Why didn’t the Atlassian upper class hunting using falcons? It seemed like the sort of thing they would enjoy to show off their wealth especially with aura breeds. They enjoyed their hunting expeditions with hounds, so why not falcons? It was very odd. Something felt like it was missing. Dinner eventually wound down and Valerie smiled at Weiss. “Let’s go!” Weiss nodded a bit and looked at Blake. The other girl smiled and nodded. “It’ll be fine. You don’t need me to go with you.” She wanted to protest but Valerie grabbed her hand and dragged her away before Weiss’ protests could even form. She found herself outside, approaching the rows and rows of mews again. Though they bypassed them and headed for the area where Liliana tied her personal birds out. The major difference was that a massive brown bird sat on one of the perches. It had its wings stretched out slightly, seeming to gather warmth from the sun or something. “Malini!” The bird turned and let out a noise. Valerie took an extremely heavy duty leather glove out of her bag and then tied a rope to the ring on the glove. Malini hopped up and Weiss felt wary. She could see the talons on the bird and they were massive. How could Valerie be so confident with such a massive bird? It was insane… She kissed the bird's head and looked at Weiss. “This is Malini. I’ve been flying her for about twenty years out.” Weiss’ eyes widened. “How long will she live for?” If she’d already flown her for twenty years, that was a pretty long time. How much more time would they have together? But, then again, with as long as fae lived for, it was probably only a blip to them in the end. Even the longest lived birds were barely a drop in the bucket for them. “About fifty to sixty years, so I’ll get a decent chunk of time with her. But I have several more eagles, some as young as only three. I have a couple gyrfalcons too. They don’t live as long—about twenty to twenty-five years max—but they’re a hoot to hunt with.” Valerie grinned. “Just be prepared to ride a lot of if you wind up with a gyr. They love their long tail chases. They go on for miles.”Weiss grimaced at that. She really wasn’t in any shape for long rides. The one to and from the unicorn forest had been bad. How much worse would trying to keep up with a gyrfalcon be? “How do you keep track of them if you lose sight of them?” That…felt like a pretty important point. These birds were no doubt expensive and took a long time to train. It had to be hard to keep track of them over such long distances. And how devastating would it be to lose a bird? They formed emotional bonds with these animals so if one lost one… “Traditionally bells are used but those only work for shorter flights.” Valerie pulled out a bell from the leather bag thrown over her shoulder. “But we have spells that allow long-range tracking. Humans have done the same in the past, but they’ve also had to get creative in the past couple cycles in lieu of magic. In your cycle, they use something called telemetry mostly. In the past, there were geosynchronous satellites that also allowed for use of global positioning systems or GPS.” “We still have GPS; we only use it through CCTS.” Her scroll had a built in map feature, so she knew it existed. But it was really only for urban areas, like cities. The farther one got out from them, the less reliable the GPS became due to weakening signal. SHe had never tested it before, but she’d looked it up out of curiosity. Satellites, though, huh…? That was really within the realm of science fiction. Dust wouldn’t work the higher one got into the atmosphere… It must have been a wonderful thing to live when magic was still available on Remnant… “Gotcha. Our bells also contain spells that will let us teleport to our birds in case we sense something going wrong.” What could go wrong with a big predator like a gyrfalcon or a golden eagle? That didn’t make sense to her. The micros could likely still be predated ondue to their small size, but what trouble could one run into when flying an absolute apex predator? “I see.” She really didn’t, but she didn’t want to look like an idiot. Still, at least they had a failsafe for it something did happen. “How do the teleportation spells work?” Again, that was strongly in the realm of science fiction…or fantasy, she supposed. It was only theoretical as far as Remnant went. There was no way to actuallydo it on the planet. “Basically the same principle as the pearls: it uses soul connections. Magic won’t let you teleport by itself; in fact, that’s a hard limit. But combine it with soul mechanics and you can teleport.” How fascinating… Did that mean there were Semblances that actually allowed for closing large distances? It was a pretty interesting prospect. She had never done much research into Semblances because it simply didn’t interest her. Now she kind of regretted not looking into it more. Semblances could apparently be so much more than the Schnee Glyphs… “Interesting.” Plus, it was a small glimpse into what magic could do. What all could it do? What were its limits? She was curious and looking forward to learning more about it. Same with the soul in general. She’d thought the soul was perfectly understood by Atlassian science, but, apparently, it wasn’t. There was so much to learn there and maybe not enough lifetime to learn it despite how long she’d probably have to learn… “Anyway, my folks and I have some plans, so I need to head off. The eagle expedition will be on Enir next week.” “…Excuse me?” She hadn’t learned anything about the fae calendar yet. All she knew was the one from Remnant. Enir meant nothing to her. “…It’s Narir the twentieth today and next Enir is the twenty-fifth. That help a bit?” “A little.” Not really, though. All it told her was that it was in five days. For her, it was Monday as far as she was able to keep track of things. If the fae calendar was so different, where were they in the week? She did they have date books and planners? Weiss’ planner was back at the manor… Valerie led her back to the main hall where the Belladonna’s chatted with the other families. Blake obviously excused herself then walked back over to Weiss. “You look deep in thought. Is something bothering you?” “Do you have planners or date books of any sort? I didn’t think about the calendars being potentially different…” She was normally so good with details but this was something that had escaped her… So much for being meticulous about what she did. Blake nodded. “We can go back to the market tomorrow and see if we can find you one. Do you have any setups you particularly like?” “Yeah, but my planner is back at Schnee manor…” She hated being separated from her Atlassian stuff. It was so difficult to not have access to it. But maybe she could have Auria run it by… It was in the corner of her desk so it wouldn’t be hard to find. “All right. I’ll contact Aura and have her drop by real quick with it. Then tomorrow we can have the agenda maker copy it to the fae calendar.” Weiss nodded. That sounded like it’d work out fine. She was going to be incredibly upside down with her schedule until she got used to the fae calendar. “But what about lessons…?” Shouldn’t they worry about getting her set up with lessons? She had already skipped a few days… Blake shrugged. “Weekend. No need to worry about it until the twenty-second. Tomorrow is the twenty-first.” Weekend? But she had lessons everyday in Schnee manor. There was no rest for her. Ten hours a day, seven days a week. No time for rest unless she was literally sleeping. “Okay… Anyway, I think I’ll just relax for the rest of the night…” It’d been a verylong day and she was incredibly tired. She probably wouldn’t sleep for a few more hours, but she could at least relax. Blake smiled and nodded. “Rest well, Weiss.” Sayaka fluttered onto Weiss’ shoulder and, with that, she withdrew to her room.