Ahsoka's Not Coming

A presence--but something was amiss. This was not the one Bariss had been awaiting in her meditation. She opened her eyes and was disappointed to meet Anakin Skywalker, glaring down at her through the tint of a red ray shield. “Master Skywalker. You are not the visitor I asked for.” “Ahsoka’s not coming.” “Why are you here?” “I was curious,” he admitted, “Curious what you thought Ahsoka might want to hear from you after what you’ve done.” “I wanted her to know… that the way I think of her hasn’t changed.” Such cautious words--a habit, even though it was pointless here. He’d known about them, though not through Bariss’s own fault or trust--something on Ahsoka’s end. Her assurances that he would keep their secret had been confident. Though she’d been right, not understanding the reason for his leniency, and Ahsoka’s evasiveness around the question, had always bothered Bariss. “Really? You have a funny way of showing love, Bariss.” This was not how Bariss had intended things to go. Yes, she’d framed Ahsoka for bombing the temple and silencing Letta before she could spill any vital information, but, “I was not going to abandon her. I had another plan to rescue her, and then we were going to run away from the Order together.” “And when were you planning to tell her that you used her?” Skywalker demanded. The anger in his aura spilled into his voice--more than she was used to from a Jedi, enough to make her falter just for a second before regaining her composure. “I… I wasn’t using her. I was just trying to help her see the light, see the injustice in the Council and in the Republic.” “You betrayed her trust, and you killed innocent people! How can you even try to justify that?” Skywalker stepped almost dangerously close to the ray shield, and Bariss wondered how far forward he would have come if it wasn’t there, if he would have attempted to back her into a corner only to discover that she had no intention of budging from her calm position in the center of the floor. She had nothing left to lose to him, no reason to fear him anymore. “I thought that you were one of the Jedi who might understand, Master Skywalker.” Incredulity and confusion stunned him for a moment, and Bariss continued before letting him find his objection. “You often find yourself in conflict with the system you serve. You have a reputation for bending the orders you are given. You do this when your feelings tell you that you are not being led in the right direction. Can you truly still put any trust in the Jedi Order, after how they failed to protect your padawan?” “What happened to Ahsoka was your fault!” Skywalker’s fists clenched, and the force churned around him like a storm. He couldn’t physically pass the shield between them, but his presence swelled right through it. Bariss dared it to reach out just a little farther and wrap around her neck. It would almost be funny to drag him down with her like that. “And if it wasn’t for your bold intervention, no one would know. No one else would have listened to her. No one else would have sought the truth.” He took a small step back. He couldn’t deny it, so instead, he diverted. “You’re insane! You’re actions prove it. It can’t be true that you still love Ahsoka. Maybe you think you do, or maybe you never really did. It doesn’t matter. You’re never going to see her again.” Skywalker’s last sentence wasn’t the loudest, yet it carried the most venom, and it cut through the serenity Bariss had carefully constructed. Beneath it lay the pain she’d built it to shield herself from. Ahsoka--Bariss yearned to see her just one last time. She too followed her heart. It was part of what made her so captivating. She would have understood in time. They could have been happy together, if not for Anakin Skywalker ruining her plans. He turned away, intending to leave with the last word. But there was something else. She could sense pain in him too, pain that felt quite similar to her own--loss. But that didn’t make sense. What had he lost? Everything would be fine for him. With Bariss imprisoned, Ahsoka was now free, and The Jedi Order would surely welcome her back with apologies for their mistake, thanks to her master’s efforts. Perhaps Ahsoka would have hesitated to accept the invitation, but she would always come back to him, would she not? Ahsoka’s not coming. You’re never going to see her again. “Neither are you,” Bariss realized. Ahsoka had left the Order. She’d left him. That was why Skywalker was this furious. He paused. Bariss waited. His head shifted just slightly, but he thought better of turning around and continued, feet carrying him just a little too hastily out of the corridor. The sound of fear trailed behind him in his footsteps. For a little while, Bariss’s final triumph--a little vengeance for Anakin Skywalker’s dismissal of her last words--quietted the agony within her once again.