My Soulmate

***

She always felt empty. Not literally, of course-she lived, breathed, talked, smiled, performed all the duties expected of her. But there was something missing inside. Ever since she was a child, she had watched her classmates, her few friends, the occasional passerby. Their emotions were so vivid, so alive. They laughed, got angry, bonded with each other, and she… She couldn’t understand those feelings. No joy, no anger, no real affection — as if she was just a shadow in this world, and there were people walking around who were destined to live for real. It went on like that until she noticed him at the university. He was sitting alone under a sakura tree, engrossed in a book while someone drew his image. Maybe on another day she would have walked by without even paying attention. But not today. Something was different this day. Ayano closed her eyes, breathing in the fresh spring air. A strange, new feeling spilled into her chest. Her heart suddenly skipped several beats, and one of them was particularly painful. Suddenly the voices of people she had once tried to build relationships with came to mind. Their words. Their looks. They never loved her. And she didn’t love them. Because they weren’t her soul mate. A tiny red bow wiggled on her pinky finger. She looked at the reading boy again. She felt drawn to him-unreasonably, inexplicably, inevitably. And, strangest of all, she felt like she remembered him. Without thinking, Ayano stepped closer, sinking down beside him on the soft grass. Sakura leaves floated pleasantly in the air, dropping down. The boy slowly looked up. His eyes were slightly dim, aloof, as if he too had been searching for something all his life but never found it. The book lay softly in the grass, forgotten. They looked at each other, not knowing who to speak to first. Ayano smiled awkwardly — and out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that there was something on his finger, too. Ayano didn’t know what to say. It was the first time she had ever felt something so strong, but the words seemed stuck in her throat. The guy was silent as well, studying her with his gaze, as if he was trying to remember where he’d seen her before. Or maybe he just felt the same way. A slight tension hung in the air, but not unpleasant. The spring wind fluttered the cherry tree petals, carrying them through the air as the two sat in the shade of the tree, taking their time to break the silence. Finally, Taro — she remembered his name, though she didn’t seem to have interacted with him before — lowered his eyes back into the book. — Are you reading? — Ayano’s voice sounded a little quieter than she expected. Taro nodded, lingering his gaze on her pinky finger for a second. — Yes. — He was silent for a moment, then slowly held out the book for her to look at. — Do you like books? Ayano accepted the volume, absently running her fingers over its cover. Warm paper, slightly curled pages — the book had clearly been read more than once. She smiled slightly. — I don’t. Never had one that I wanted to reread. Taro looked at her a little longer, then carefully took another book from his backpack and held it out to her. — Try this one. Ayano took it without hesitation, ran her fingers along the spine, then opened to the first page. For a few moments she just stared at the text, reading the words. There was a rustle nearby — Taro was deep into his book again. And suddenly Ayano felt that this silence between them was the most natural of her life. The kind of silence she had always wanted. She made herself comfortable, letting the sakura petals fall on her shoulders, and began to read. Two under the tree. Two who didn’t know where to begin. But perhaps words weren’t needed. All because they had already found each other. And they didn’t have to look for anyone else. Ayano rested her head on the boy’s shoulder, smiling slightly. She began to read along with him. And on the guy’s little finger was the exact same red ribbon.