The Criminal Diaries

      Time usually goes by quickly in good days, but one week lasted for too long for everyone this time. Peter is sitting at home and getting through his grief all alone. To be clear, with his hallucination in the form of himself that chases him especially hard wherever he goes. And while the neighbor’s cats that live on the upper floors start a loud fight again and test the nerves with their annoying meowing, the man is lying on the bed with a bottle of cold beer that he drinks with no rush. His hallucination, named Theodore, is also drinking a bottle of strong beer as he lies frivolously.       Since his copy looks at him from head to foot too closely, Peter feels a little confused because of this. But he says nothing and tries to pretend that there is nobody in the room but him, glancing at the half-open window or looking at something on the ceiling. After drinking some alcohol, he feels some kind of dizziness in his head that helps me get lost and weaken the pain in his soul. He stops caring about what’s happening. He stops caring about the cats’ choir that irritates him usually. He does not care about Theodore emptying his button with a loud smacking sound and looking a little drunk.       Some time goes by in this atmosphere before Theodore gets sick of sitting in the same place. He starts walking slowly in circles, while Peter keeps ignoring him as he keeps his eyes into the distance, empties the bottle of beer with big sips, and lies on the bed with his arm put under his head and his legs bent at the knees and spread aside slightly.       “Yeah, it’s so boring…” Theodore throws gloomily. “Are you gonna keep lying in the bed and emptying this fucking bottle of beer? Don’t ya have anything stronger? I dunno… Whiskey, liqueur, portwine… There are so many cool drinks, but you drink beer!”       Theodore sneers contemptuously and takes a big sip from the bottle.       “If you wanna drink your grief down like this, beer isn’t the best thing. We need something stronger. What am I talking about, huh? You have nothing! Ha… Do you naively think you can drink as fuck with this?”       Peter exhales slowly and glances aside, taking a couple of more sips from the bottle.       “M-m-m, are we gonna play a silent game today? Aren’t ya kinda talking to me? Aren’t ya gonna hit me with thunderbolts? Or are you pretending so hard that I'm not here and making yourself think you’re alright? You’re a healthy, adequate man that doesn’t talk to his hallucination in the form of himself!”       Theodore laughs quietly as he shakes his head.       “You probably think I’m not leaving because I wanna torture you? To drive you crazy and make you do some shit so that you are put in prison or a mental hospital? I don’t deny that watching you suffer is really funny. It’s funny to make you do what you’d never find the courage for. You kicked the asses of your pals, you fucked someone off, you did something else…”       Theodore takes a sip from the bottle, standing in front of Peter and putting his free hand on his hip.       “But it’s not the truth. I'm not leaving because I want to help you. I wanna help you find what you're missing. Let you know about what your consciousness tries to say, while you're ignoring it so hard. You always say you wanna be happy and live a quiet life. So, you’ve gotta do something to make it real.”       “Hey, bastard, get off me…” Peter sighs tiredly, wincing slightly, and takes a sip from the bottle. “Lemme lie quietly. Stop walking in front of me.”       “Trust me, Peter, until you figure yourself out, you will never live quietly. You’re gonna keep drowning in this shit and suffering.”       “I give a fuck about everything. I wanna solve nothing, I wanna know nothing, I wanna hear nothing.”       “Sometimes I have a feeling that you like suffering. You love all these tortures. Yes, I understand that you’re kinda used to pain. It became a normal thing to you. You feel strange without it. You miss when you don’t have it. But do you really think it’s fine? Is it okay to deprive yourself of the chance for the life all people live? People usually aim to avoid pain, but you run to the one, vice versa.”       “Huh, it’s a bullshit…” Peter chuckles without emotions.       “And you’re afraid of what you may know. You’re afraid that the memories blocked by you can make you feel much stronger negative emotions. You understand you may fall into hysteria if you recall your past, and you’re afraid to feel pain again. But you know, you need to get through something bad and exhale with relief just once, not to suffer all your life like this.”       “I remember nothing, and I don’t care about it at all. What’s done is done – it doesn’t make sense to come back to that.”       “You decided to forget everything not to go crazy in childhood. Because your child’s psyche was too weak to get through what happened. But now you’re an adult man that doesn’t get overwhelmed at the sight of the harsh porno content or something like this.”       “As if my psyche got stronger through the years…” Peter drinks a little from his bottle. “They ruined it. Once and forever.”       “School bullying is not the main reason for your mental health's destruction. The reason is hidden deep inside you. What you refuse to let rise to the surface and soar into the sky. You keep convincing yourself that everything is fine, but it's not the truth. You've never been okay. Not even when you thought everything was over.”       “I agree with you,” Peter throws gloomily and drinks a little more from the bottle. “I’m not alright. I have nothing. I have nothing that could make me keep moving on and enjoying my life.”       “That’s why I wanna help you.”       Theodore puts the bottle on the writing table and sits on the bed in front of Peter again.       “I wanna help you find the truth. Let you know that you can see the truth if you open your eyes and reach the depths of your soul. Open the lock with a key and let yourself reunite with the rejected part of you.”       “M-m-m, as I understand, did you decide to be my friend today?” Peter sneers contemptuously. “Trying to be nice and friendly…”       “Call it an attempt to imitate you.”       “You’re showing your rotten side anyway.”       “You have it too. Because you are me.”       “I’m not a bastard and will never be.”       “Oh, man, you don’t even notice that you sometimes behave disgustingly. Like a monster with a criminal soul. You don’t understand how you harm those who love and value you. And you don’t the fuck regret it at all at these moments.”       “Because you control me! And I feel like I’m hypnotized!”       “But I must confess that you’re able to control yourself even in this condition,” Theodore notices. “Just like yesterday. You went to the bathroom to cut your veins again, but you stopped at the last moment. Just like you’ve been doing this over the past several months.”       “Maybe. It means I am really able to fight you. I can do my best for you to leave me alone once and forever.”       “You can’t do this, Peter. Until I tell you what your consciousness screams about, you will not get away from me.”       “Fuck, I don’t wanna hear and know nothing…” Peter moans tiredly, putting the bottle on the bedside table. “Nothing, you see. I don’t want! I. Don’t. Want.”       “But you must!” Theodore states determinedly. “You must know the truth. You must know what the reason for your mistrust of people is.”       “I don’t. Want. I don’t want. That’s all!”       “Aren’t you surprised that you’re still afraid of men? Don’t you ask yourself why you were unlucky with your relationships with girls? Why did you reject them? Why do you stop being frigid in bed only after a glass of something strong?”       “It’s bullshit! I’m not afraid of anyone! And stop calling me frigid! I am not frigid!”       “Yeah, but why did you have the best sex only when you were drunk? Why could you relax enough and prepare a girl enough before getting your dick into her and making her get an orgasm?”       “What are you hinting at?” Peter sits up sharply.       “The fact that your girlfriend Helene didn’t get what she wanted when you were sober. You were just able to kiss her well and feel her up, but when you should’ve gotten deeply into her, you felt like the coldness possessed your body. That’s why she had to take the initiative and come to the desired finish.”       “As if I always fucked her under the influence of alcohol.”       “Not always, but it happened,” Theodore smiles mysteriously. “It happened to all the girls, whose legs you had ever spread with a wish to show them what your big aggregate could do.”       “It just happened.”       “Oh, yeah, it just happened… And when Marshall went to your home with a bottle of red wine and drank it with you, you just could not miss your chance.”       “It happened just once!”       “But it was fucking good…”       Theodore sits closer to Peter and puts his arm around his neck as he keeps smiling widely.       “It would’ve been a sin not to use the chance to fuck a beautiful drunk girl when she was just your friend. When you didn’t think of dating at all. But when you'd already started to get a crush on each other secretly.”       A slight smile shows up on Peter’s face when Theodore encourages him to remember that case. When he and Helene had an intimate moment after they just became friends, who drank a lot of alcohol, just saying.       

***

      Three and a half years ago.       After the fight with her grandmother, Scarlett, and grandfather, Roger, Helene ran away from home with tears in her eyes, taking only her bag with everything she needed. Then she contacted her friend Peter and asked if he would let her go to his home. When he gave her permission, the girl went to the shop and bought a bottle of expensive wine with the hope that the man would not refuse to drink a glass with her. Marshall did not think of drinking to the point of alcoholic intoxication and just wanted to relax a little and speak about everything she had on her mind. But something went wrong in this case…       So, here’s Helene lying in a half lying position on the bed with Peter, keeping her head on his shoulder and pressing herself to him as closely as possible as she is holding a filled glass of wine and empties it with big enough sips. However, the man does not look sober enough after drinking some wine and does not mind his friend being so close to him. Vice versa, he is hugging her tightly with both arms and caressing her head and shoulder at times.       “You can’t imagine how sick I am…” Helene says quietly, slurring her words. “I am so sick of my grandfather and grandmother controlling me all the time. I am an adult woman, but they still consider me a little girl whom they can ban from everything.”       Helene takes a big sip of wine.       “Since childhood… Since the early age… This is forbidden, that is forbidden… That’s good, this is bad… Those girls are bad, don’t talk with these. Don’t come to boys… You must think of your studies. You must get an education… We’re responsible for you… While you live with us, you will follow our rules… My God, when will it all end? Leave me all alone!”       “I get it,” Peter pronounces a little faintly, while Helene snuggles her nose in his shoulder for a second.       “When I started a brief talk about renting an apartment, they banned me from thinking about it. They said I would live with them until I get married. Like, look for a man, Helene… Get married… And we will let you go. But where do I find him? Where, Peter? They didn’t allow me to date anyone! They drove me and took me from school literally until the very end. So, I didn’t walk with someone, heaven forbid. I felt madly ashamed of the guys ‘cause the old people went for me like a child. They drove me to the university, though. They stood in front of the entrance until I entered the building. And sometimes the old people went to the university with me and then left. And now my grandfather drives me to my workplace literally every day. And when I say I’m an adult, they tell me to shut up and obey the older people.”       Helene sighs heavily.       “Gosh, I’m so ashamed… I’m an adult girl, but my grandmother and grandfather follow me everywhere. They watch me, watch! They ban me from everything… As if they want me to spend my whole life next to them and do anything they want. And never dare to think of me. Ar-r-r-r…”       Helene takes another sip of wine.       “I recently found a cool apartment. I wanted to rent it. I worked like crazy to earn money for several months of rent. I was ready to sign the contract and take my stuff. But today, my grandparents found out and took my money away again. You imagine, Rose, they took it away. My own money. They hid my documents. They didn't let me leave home. They didn’t let me be free. Though I was so ready for that. Everything was ready. I just needed to take my stuff and get out. But no! They ruined the hell everything! My grandfather checked through my freaking bag without permission and found my money and the contract that I wanted to read before signing. He took my money, ripped the contract, and threw it in the trash can! Oh… Thank God, he didn’t take my phone away! And he didn’t find my card with some money on it.”       “Yeah, it’s some kind of wildness… You’re an adult girl who can decide what she wants to do. What's wrong with living on your own?”       “You'd better ask these old people! They control me like a dog and want me to look into their eyes until the day of my death. Working hard and giving my salary to them all my life. And when I try to protest against something, they shut me up. Grandfather may also grab the belt. There’s nothing wrong with hitting me with it for him. Like, children were always educated like this back then – and it was alright, they grew up into normal people that were truly grateful for these methods of education. Like, they became strong. Obedient, with a sense of purpose. Though at these moments, I hate both of them to death. In anger, I may even wish them to die.”       After taking a couple of sips, Helene takes the bottle from the bedside table and fills her glass to the top with a bright red drink.       “I’ve been dreaming of getting out of home and living as I want after turning eighteen since childhood. But no! They don’t let go! They don’t let me do what I want! Helene must only think of her studies, her job, and be obedient! And she must piss all her wishes off!”       Helene sighs heavily with closed eyes, while Peter moves her hair off her eyes.       “Is this fine?” Helene wonders and drinks some wine. “Is it okay that they control the adult girl like this? I’m twenty-two already, but I still can’t decide anything. All girls have fun with their friends, date boys, fall in love, spend nights together, walk until the early morning… But I’m kind of cursed! I’m allowed to do nothing! Nothing! But to study and work! And give them my salary! If I didn’t have some money, I wouldn’t have anything to please myself with. I have to fight for every cent with my grandfather! And give him a report” where I buy something, how much, when, show me a check, give me a charge… And they don’t know about my bank card that I got secretly from them. Otherwise, the old people would check the bank app every five minutes, installing it on their phones, forcing me to give them all my logins and passwords and linking the card to their number.”       “I completely understand what you feel,” Peter replies softly.       “Ah, Peter, I’m so jealous of you…” Helene offers her glass to Peter, who takes it to take a big sip. “I’m jealous ‘cause you’re living alone. You can do anything you want. Nobody would even say a word to you. Nobody tells you what to do. You’re on your own.”       “It’s good, but sometimes I lack care and attention. Sometimes I wanna hear a couple of nice words and wanna hug someone. Feel someone’s warmth. There are moments when I feel really lonely.”       “I feel so lonely and sad, too.”       Helene presses herself much closer to Peter, putting her arm around his waist and putting her free hand on his chest.       “And I wanna be free so badly. I wanna do anything I want without being dependent on someone. Don’t I deserve it? Do I want something unreal?”       “No, sweetie, your wishes are absolutely fine,” Peter replies and drinks some wine. “Some adults just overplay mom and dads and cross the line when they try to care. In the end, we get the overprotection.”       “Sometimes I want my grandparents to give a damn about me. Them not to care about where I am, who I am with… Nobody to even think of controlling me.” Helene chuckles quietly. “When I was on the way to you, these old people couldn’t stop calling me. And they sent me tons of messages with an order to come back home immediately. And I pissed them off silently and turned off my phone.”       “Well… I wouldn’t say it’s cool…”       “Wouldn’t you mind if I spent a night with you? If I stayed in your apartment?”       “Of course, no. Stay.”       “I don’t wanna see both of them now. I don’t wanna go home. I choke there. From the permanent control and endless lectures. But I can breathe here. Deeply. Because I feel free.”       “We’re friends, Helene.” Peter caresses Helene’s cheek with the back of his hand, while she closes her eyes from pleasure. “You can always come to me for help, and I will do everything I can.”       “Thanks, Peter, you’re just a gem…”       Helene wants to kiss Peter on the cheek to thank him, but she eventually kisses him somewhere on the neck, but both of them react absolutely quietly as if this is something like normal for them.       “You’re an angel who came from heaven. I’ve never met a better man than you.”       “And you’re the first girl whom I wasn’t afraid to open myself to,” Peter confesses and takes a big sip from the glass. “With whom I feel as happy as never before. I felt the happiness probably for the first time in twenty-seven years of my life.”       “I imagine how hard my grandma and grandpa are fretting and fuming now. I imagine how they’re sitting and thinking about how to punish me for my non-obedience.”       “And they’d be 100% overwhelmed if they saw you and me being drunk as fuck and lying on the bed.”       “What’s wrong? I just wanna relax!” Helene moves the glass in Peter’s hand closer to her and drinks a little bit of wine. “I have stress! I am sick of everything! But when I drank some wine, my life got much better.”       “And they say drinks can’t solve your problems and give you relief.”       “And you can wean yourself to it if you drink a lot.”       “Is someone weaned?”       “I am not!”       “I ain’t an alcoholic, either! Even if my mother drank as fuck, I won’t be the same as her.”       “Oh, my grandmother may also sit in the kitchen with a glass of Beaujolais, singing old songs that I’m freaking sick of. I do hate them, but the old woman adores them. And she makes Grandfather sing. Though they sing terribly, saying softly. I’m gonna be honest with you!”       “And both of them probably rocked on at their young age, but now they pretend to be chaste monks.”       “Knowing the age of my grandmother, she became a mother at the age of eighteen or nineteen,” Helene smirks contemptuously. “And I wasn’t even allowed to pronounce the word ‘sex’ at the same age. And when some boys from school somehow asked me about my virginity, I didn’t know what to say. Because I didn’t know what virginity was… I didn’t know about sex, either. And I’m silent about some blowjobs or cunnilingus.”       Helene drinks a little bit of wine in the hands of Peter, who does the same after this.       “And when I dared to pronounce these words with the pretense of my grandparents, they hit me with a belt strongly and then gave me tons of slaps in the face. They said I’d regret it if I pronounced something like this at their home, where nobody talked about any dirty and bad things again.”       “Don’t you still know what that is?” Peter asks with some kind of hint.       “I know. The guys told me about it. But before it happened, I felt a great shame ‘cause everyone just heard about sex, but I didn’t even know what it started with. I didn’t know it was the way to make children. That the stork didn’t bring them, just like these undeveloped old people said.”       “Just in case, I’d be happy to help you get some new knowledge.”       With these words, Peter caresses Helene’s cheek and then puts his hand on her knee, which he caresses shyly.       “Show you that you’re missing a lot…” Peter adds in a much quieter and lower voice, rubbing the tip of his nose against Helene’s nose.       “You know something about it?” Helene rounds her eyes.       “I know everything about it.”       Peter takes a big sip of wine and then suggests Helene do the same thing she does not refuse.       “About sex, about a blowjob, about a cunnilingus…” Peter purrs with a smug smile, puts the glass on the bedside table, and runs his thumb over the bottom lip of Helene, sticking out his chest proudly, looking closely into her eyes, and noticing silently that her pupils are dilated due to the alcohol influence. “I’m an experienced expert in this case.”       “Even if you don’t have a girlfriend?” Helene asks surprisingly.       “I don’t have her now. But I had them before. And they all were really happy with what I could give them.” Peter brings his face slowly but confidently to Helene’s face and touches her lips tenderly with his lips, while she holds her breath unconsciously. “They screamed with delight and begged me for more.”       “I’d like to scream from pleasure, too…” Helene caresses Peter’s cheek with her warm hand and runs her fingers through his little ruffled blond hair. “I’d like to feel all the same things I was told about. But I have nobody. I don’t have a husband.”       “Why would you need a husband?” Peter surprises. “You don’t have to have a husband to have sex! You can have it with your partner. Or with someone you find sympathetic.”       “If the old people heard something like this, they’d kill you.”       “But they don’t hear or see us. And it means nobody can judge us for what we’re talking about.”       Peter runs his lips slowly over the area behind Helene’s ear, while he keeps his arms around her neck and uses his fingers on it to go around the girl’s nipple and rub it tenderly, and puts his second hand on the inside of her thigh.       “Oh, my gosh…” Helene exhales blissfully with closed eyes, feeling a nice warmth and a slight tickling in her abdomen.       “Hey, ya like it?” Peter smiles widely. “I haven’t done anything yet! It’s just the beginning.”       Peter brings closer to Helene’s lips for a shy but assertive kiss, which she does not resist at all, while the instinct of self-preservation is turned off, and the psychical attraction gets stronger under the influence of alcohol.”       “It’s weird, I thought you’d resist,” Peter confesses thoughtfully, putting his hand on Helene’s cheek. “I thought you’d shout and tell me to let you go.”       “I didn’t have this thought on my mind even for a second,” Helene replies almost in a whisper.       “So, won’t ya scream?”       Peter pulls both of Helene’s lips tenderly with his teeth and squeezes them with his mouth for a second.       “C’mon, Marshall, scream!” Peter exclaims, running his hand over Helene’s thigh. “What do they usually say? ‘Help! Help me! He wanna rape me!’”       “Even though I’m drunk as hell and can barely think, I don’t have anything against what’s happening,” Helene confesses, letting her hand slide slowly over Peter’s chest. “Of course, you’re drink, too… But you’re so attractive. Very sexual.”       “Think better, beautiful. If you don’t stop in time, it’s gonna be too late to resist.”       “My ability to think has been turned off. But I got a different feeling.” Helene leaves a couple of kisses on the corners of Peter’s mouth. “That’s the reason why I can’t be indifferent to you.”       “I haven’t been indifferent to you since the first day. Since the day you and I met.”       Peter runs his hand over Helene’s belly after raising her blouse and then squeezes her breasts tensely but intensively, while she sticks them out unconsciously.       “You’re more than just a friend to me,” Peter confesses in a low voice. “I recently started to understand that I was falling in love with you.”       “Really?” Helene asks with a gloss in her eyes.       “You can’t imagine how hard it is for me to keep it inside and pretend that we’re connected by friendship only.”       “Didn’t you despise me?”       “Why do ya think so?”       “You were so cold and indifferent when Jessica introduced us to each other.” Helene runs her hands over Peter’s hair and grabs the nape of his neck with them. “I thought you weren’t happy to see me.”       “No, Helene, you’re wrong. I was really happy to meet you.”       “But why did you act like you wanted to get away from me as soon as possible?”       “It’s just hard for me to get along with people. I need time to get used to them. I got a serious psychological trauma in the past, and it made me feel uncomfortable with those I barely knew.”       “Does it mean the problem is not me?”       “No, sweetie, not you.” Peter leaves several kisses on Helene’s cheeks. “It’s my demons. And you… You’re just perfect!”       Peter runs his hands over the curves of Helene’s waist and presses the girl to himself, giving her another continuous kiss on the lips, during which she makes a quiet, sensual moan.       “And I was just fighting myself. I was fighting because I wanted you so badly. Since the first day.”       Peter brings himself to the curve of Helene’s neck and kisses tenderly the area where she has a carotid artery, making her make a much more sensual moan with rolled eyes.       “I dreamed of you every night.” Peter keeps covering Helene’s neck generously with kisses that are different in strength and length. “I was thinking about kissing and hugging you. About undressing you slowly. I tried to imagine what your naked body would look like.”       “Oh, damn, what are you doing to me?” Helene makes a deafening moan and leans her head back, pressing her body closely to Peter and grabbing his shoulder with her fingers with a sense of shake in every muscle. “Peter…”       “Your skin smells freaking sexually…”       Peter’s fingers clench and unclench Helene’s breasts, and his lips squeeze and suck the thin, sensitive skin on her neck, while she starts breathing heavily enough with a slight dizziness and a fast heartbeat.       “And I can enjoy it now. I can memorize this smell much better.”       “Me too…” Helene pronounces with a heavy breath in a little hoarse voice and runs her fingers through Peter’s hair. “I started to fall in love with you, too. I don’t want you to be just my friend.”       “Really?” Peter gets excited, stepping away from Helene and looking into her eyes. “You like me?”       “I got a crush on you shortly. I noticed you were very handsome. And you smelled sexually…” Helen starts walking her fingers over Peter’s chest. “It would be a sin not to give birth to children from a guy like you. They’d be so beautiful.”       “I’d be happy if my children had such a wonderful mother.” Peter takes the glass from the table, drinks a little from it, and brings it to Helene’s lips so she does the same. “A very hot one…”       “Let’s get married?” Helene suggests suddenly, puts her arms around Peter’s neck, looking into his eyes closely. “I like you, you like me. So… Why wouldn’t we start to live together? So… Why wouldn’t we start to live together?”       “Let’s go!” Peter agrees with no hesitation. “But someone would hardly register the couple that wanna get married after drinking more than half of the drink.       “Sorry…” Helene whines with pity, caressing Peter’s cheek and kissing him sweetly on the lips. “I didn’t like anyone at all. I didn’t like anyone before I met you. And then I stopped caring about any other men at all. All I want is you.”       “I suggest that we get married tomorrow when we get sober. And you will move to my home. So the young, beautiful guy who’s unlucky in a personal life doesn’t feel lonely anymore.”       Peter puts his hands on the back of Helene when he starts to speak into her mouth:       “Who everyone kicks like a ball, not thinking that he’s actually got feelings and emotions.”       “I would die for this young, beautiful guy,” Helene replies faintly, putting her arms around Peter’s neck and setting her unfocused glance into his eyes, the pupils in which are dilated, too. “And kiss his hands if I got the desired freedom and was able to do anything I wanted thanks to him.”       “Don’t pay attention to anyone and don’t listen to anyone.” Peter moves his hands to Helene’s buttocks. “You’re an adult girl who can decide what to do. If you feel comfortable and get pleasure, it’s absolutely fine.”       “You’re the only one in the world who understands me.”       Helene grabs Peter’s face and gets him involved in a continuous kiss on the lips, during which she moans sensually and makes back-and-forth movements with her thighs.       “The only one I can come to for support.” Helene leaves several kisses on the curve of Peter’s neck, running her hands over his tense torso and hearing his hot, heavy breath. “The only one to never judge me for anything and not to tell me what to do, where to go, who to talk with, and everything like this.”       “Fate itself tells us that we should be together,” Peter purrs and closes his eyes from pleasure, while Helene’s lips suck the skin tenderly on his neck. “Since we’re two lonely, unhappy people who suffer from the understanding of people.”       “Don’t you really want us to be just friends?”       “I don’t. I want you to be my girlfriend. And my wife and a mother of my children, one beautiful day.”       “If this day comes, I’ll make you the happiest man in the world and fulfill any wish of yours. Do anything for you to feel good.”       “I already feel good.” Peter leaves a tender, long-lasting kiss on the front of Helene’s neck, feeling that his heart stops when she makes a deafening moan full of enjoyment. “While you’re with me.”       “And I do when you’re with me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened in my life.”       Helene brings herself to Peter’s lips with a loud, heavy breath and gives him an exciting kiss, pulling tenderly both and running the tip of her tongue over it. Then he does the same and runs his tongue in the mouth of the girl, running it over the palate and around her tongue.       “I imagine how ashamed we’re gonna be when we get sober and remember what happened tomorrow,” Helene laughs shyly when she raises her head, and Peter kisses her on the curve of her neck with a pressure.       “We’ll think about what’s happening now tomorrow,” Peter replies, slurring his words, takes the glass from the table, and drinks a little bit of wine. “But now, babe, let’s fuck everything off, forget everything, and relax to the fullest.”       “M-m-m, are you gonna show me everything you can do in sex?”       “Since you didn’t start to scream when I caressed you a little, it means I can move on.”       Peter lies Helene on the bed so that her head lies on the pillow with one easy movement, and raises himself above her, holding his weight on his arms and setting his bedroom eyes in her widely open, not scared eyes.       “And give you such unforgettable emotions that you’ve never felt before.”       “It’s a shame we’ll hardly memorize it,” Helene laughs shyly. “Because we’re drunk as hell…”       “Not as hell, we drank just a couple of glasses of wine to relax.”       Peter runs his lips slowly over the curve of Helene’s neck from her ears to her collarbones and moves to her throat, on which he leaves a couple of tender kisses. That’s why the girl presses the back of her head to the pillow with closed eyes and a blissful smile, sticking out her breasts and shaking her thighs.       “You make me want you more and more every second,” Helene starts half-whispering.       “I already want you so badly,” Peter states with no hesitation, squeezes Helene’s chest tenderly with his fingers, and rubs her tough nipples with his fingers, feeling that her breath gets heavier. “I can’t wait to see what’s underneath your clothes.”       “Oh, yay, undress me now!”       Helene tears her head off the pillow, grabs Peter’s face, and caresses his soft-to-touch lips that spread the strong smell of alcohol with quiet, sensual moans.       “Right here… Right now…”       Taking Helene by the back of her head, Peter takes the initiative and gives her a much more assertive kiss. His fingers clench and unclench the lady’s breasts, and his hand raises her blouse slightly and slides slowly over the naked part of the belly, the muscles of which are strongly tense. While the girl herself runs her fingers through the man’s blond hair, runs it over his tough back and wide shoulders, and puts it on the chest that is as tough as a stone.       “You’re so sexy…” Peter pronounces with a heavy breath. “So beautiful… The most beautiful girl in the world that I have ever met.”       “And I’ve noticed how beautiful your eyes are,” Helene confesses, looking closely at Peter’s narrow, bright amber eyes. “And the color… It’s so… Unusual… I’ve never met anything like this before…”       “Not only are my eyes beautiful,” Peter runs his hand over Helene’s belly, which he also opens up much more so that it's naked. “I am all freaking hot.”       “So hot that I feel dizzy.”       “You haven’t seen me without clothes. If you do, you’re gonna be dead from such a stunning sight.”       “I already feel how tough your back and how muscled your arms are.” Helene runs her hands slowly over the curves of Peter’s waist and squeezes his tough buttocks with her fingers, noticing that a smug smile shows up on the blond’s face. “And your ass is tougher than a nut… And the sight of the abs on your stomach makes me shake strongly.”       “And I am impressed by how gorgeous your boobs are,” Peter pronounces without shame, running his fingers around Helene’s nipple, and sucks the skin on her neck tenderly. “M-m-m, your neck is fucking tasty and sweet… And your lips are so attractive…”       Peter brings his lips to Helene’s lips with a loud, heavy breath and kisses them greedily, squeezes them, sucks them, and licks them, taking the girl by the wrists and raising her hands above her head.       “Please, Peter…” Helene whines quietly and moans sensually when Peter’s tongue gets confidently into her mouth after she barely opens it. “M-m-m…”       Helene shakes sharply with the feeling that her heart stops for a moment when her tongue touches Peter’s tongue and literally starts to fight with it, sending the electric waves in the brain every time it happens.       “Ah, babe, if I remember all of this magically, I’m not gonna regret anything,” Peter states, caresses Helene’s ears with his lips, and breathes on the area behind them with a hot breath, hearing her quiet sigh and seeing the girl’s skin covered with goosebumps.       Peter sucks Helene’s earlobe a little and runs his lips over the edge of her auricle before he whispers in it with tenderness:       “I will never regret what happened between my close friend and me.”       “Yes, yes, drive me crazy…” Helene begs quietly. “Make me beg you to take me.”       “I’ll do just one thing that’s gonna make you hold your breath.”       After breathing on the skin on the curve of Helene’s neck with the air of a different temperature, running his lips from up to down, and leaving a short, exciting kiss on the hole throat, Peter steps away from her and takes off his t-shirt with a proud look, throwing it aside without looking. The sight of the naked torso with the tough chest and clearly visible abs on the flat stomach makes the girl’s pupils dilate immediately, her cheeks blush, her breath stop, and her mouth open by itself. She is literally hypnotized as she stares at what she sees with a catastrophic lack of air.       “So, you like it?” Peter asks with a wide smile and raises his arms to his shoulder level, tensing his muscles as strongly as possible. “Look at the powerful biceps I have. And what abs… M-m-m…”       Peter claps his hands slightly on his stomach, which is as tough as a stone.       “Whoa, as tough as a stone! I spent so much time in the gym class to make this masterpiece for the reason.”       “It’s gorgeous…” Helene can barely pronounce. “Incredible…”       “Touch it, babe, don’t feel shy. Feel the warmth of the real man.”       With these words, Peter takes Helene’s hands and runs them over his stomach and chest, while she watches the way they move like in a trance and looks closely at every single muscle.       “M-m-m, the girl liked it…” Peter purrs. “She really liked it…”       “Do such perfect bodies really exist in real life?” Helene wonders. “Didn’t my mind get clouded after a couple of glasses of wine?”       “You haven’t seen my penis yet…. But if you see, you’re gonna wish to caress it with your hands and lips.”       “Show it,” Helene says with a heavy breath. “Show it to me. Right now.”       “Later, baby, a little later.” Peter runs his finger around Helene’s navel. “But now get used to what you see.”       Taking Helene’s hands, Peter pulls her onto himself, so that she sits up. Then he ends up behind her, moves the head of thick, long black hair aside, and caresses the nape of her neck with his lips tenderly, holding her by the breast under the bottom with his fingers.       “M-m-m, you make me go crazy…” Helene pronounces with closed eyes, bending her head slightly and breathing heavily, while every single muscle of hers tenses from a sweet, tormenting seizure. “So badly…”       “I’m fucking drunk now, but I’m in a paradise,” Peter smiles blissfully, opens a couple of buttons on Helene’s blouse, and gets his hand underneath it from the top. “I just need to fulfil my little wish – to get underneath your knickers and work my fingers in the bottom.”       Peter covers generously one of the curves of Helene’s neck with short kisses, bringing her more and more to the all-embracing ecstasy, which is the reason why she is breathing loudly and heavily, everything goes blurry before her eyes, and her heart is working at maximum. And while the girl leans her head back, the man runs his hand slowly over her throat, literally scratching the skin with his fingertips, and opens the other buttons on the lady’s blouse. After spreading the edges of it aside, he clenches tightly and unclenches her breasts that are raised in a seductive way thanks to the black, thick bra.       “My gut tells me we’re gonna have a wild night,” Peter says with a mysterious smile and leaves several kisses on the open parts of Helene’s breasts.       “The night I won't survive…” Helene exhales sensually. “Because of you…”       “It’s okay, Helene, you’re in the trustworthy hands.”       Peter turns Helene on himself and, taking her tenderly by the neck, kisses her on the lips for several seconds, squeezing and sucking them with pressure. After her slow, shaking exhalation, he runs the fingers of his hand through the girl’s hair and squeezes them in his fist.       “Uh-huh, in the trustworthy drunk hands,” Helene laughs quietly.       “Maybe I’m drunk, but I wouldn’t accost you against your wish,” Peter says, takes the half-filled glass from the table, and drinks a little, shaking his index finger. “No, no… Because I’m not a rapper. Not a rapper.”       “And I secretly wanted to be fucked by you.” Helene takes the glass from Peter and drinks a little bit of the drink. “I didn’t want anyone. I didn’t wanna go to bed with anyone. But when I saw you, my heart stopped!”       “Just like mine.” Peter licks the drops of wine from Helene’s lips and the corners of her mouth slowly with his tongue. “Everything did itch ‘cause I passionately wanted the day I’d be able to fuck you.”       “I’m all yours, pretty boy. For the whole night.”       Helene brings her lips to Peter’s lips for a hot, swaggering kiss, pleasing the man’s ear with her sensual moans and caressing his mouth with the tip of her tongue. And she gets so busy with this process and splashes some wine on his torso.       “Oops!” Helene steps away sharply, closing her mouth with a free hand. “I’m so sorry…”       “It’s okay, babe, forget it!” Peter exclaims with a sly smile.       “And it dirtied the bed…” Helene glances at the white duvet cover with a bright red spot on it. “I’m such a ding head… A drunk ding head.”       “I’ll solve it later. When I get sober.” Peter takes the glass from Helene and puts it on the table. “But now let’s not distract.”       “You’re right, huh…” Helen smiles stupidly. “Who cares? Does it really matter when you’re next to such a hot and sexy man?”       Helene moves closer to Peter and, caressing his shoulders and biceps, covers generously his whole neck and collarbones with short kisses that make him get an all-embracing ecstasy, judging by his rolled eyes, blissful smile, and blushed face. After caressing these areas with her lips, she lies him softly on the pillow and runs the tip of her tongue over the same one. Little by little, she gets down and down, reaching the male chest and stomach, licking off all the drops of wine off them. She caresses his whole torso with her soft hands and sucks tenderly but intensely his tough nipples, shaking at just one touch to the muscles and breathing in the smell of his skin mixed with the smell of strong alcohol.       “Oh, Marshall, you’re awesome…” Peter pronounces in a hoarse voice with a heavy breath, running his hands over Helene’s back and squeezing her buttocks. “Nobody else has given me so much pleasure.”       “Ah, why aren’t you and I still dating?” Helene wonders, leaves several kisses on Peter’s stomach, and runs her hands over it. “You’re so perfect! So handsome… So kind… So cool…”       “I have no idea, either…” Peter moans quietly and puts his hands on the curves of Helene’s waist when she starts sucking and pinching his lips tenderly. “I won’t meet anyone to be better than you.”       “Me too…” Helene runs the tip of her tongue over Peter’s top lip and then his palate when he opens his mouth slightly. “I won’t find anyone better…”       When their tongues contact and try to fight, Peter takes the blouse off Helene’s shoulder that he caresses tenderly with one secret movement. Also, he runs his hands over the lady’s thin arms, ruffled hair, scapula, and spine. And just holds the girl by the buttocks with both hands when she caresses his ears with her lips and tongue, and causes the goosebumps on his whole body with a hot and cold breath on the area behind them, running her fingertips around the male nipples and rubbing them slowly.       “Helene, cutie…” Peter pronounces in a low voice with a wide smile, looking at Helene with a glance that is unclear due to the alcohol but full of admiration. “Just beautiful…”       “Aw, I’m such a bad girl…” Helene flirts, walking her fingers over Peter’s chest and rubbing it confidently with her hands. “Such a bad one…”       Helene takes the glass with some wine in it, takes a sip from it as sexually as possible, and then, looking into Peter’s eyes confidently, spills a little bit on herself in the cleavage between her breasts. Then she smiles playfully and rolls her eyes dreamily, while he swallows up loudly and starts breathing much heavier, biting or licking his lips, and running his eyes chaotically over the girl's body.       “Even if I’m dying, I wanna do it next to you…” Peter purrs and runs his hand slowly over Helene’s belly. “In your hugs… Kissing you everywhere…”       “Oh, yeah, kiss me everywhere…” Helene moans sensually, sticking out her breasts. “I want you…”       Breathing heavily and loudly, Helene takes off her blouse with a sense of the hot wave and throws it aside without looking. Not thinking a lot, Peter sits up, hugs the girl by the waist, presses her to himself, and covers her neck greedily with kisses that are different in pressure. She leans her head back, grabbing the man’s hair with the fingers of one hand and starting to pull it, while the nails of her second hand scratch the skin on his scapula and shoulders.       “I feel as happy as never ever…” Peter pronounces in a half-whisper, sucks the skin intensely on the front of Helene’s neck, and pinches the skin on the curve of it tightly.       “And I feel as free as never ever…” Helene replies quietly, sinks her nails tightly in the nape of Peter’s neck with a blissful moan, and puts her free hand on his chest.       At first, Peter sucks tenderly and covers Helene’s collarbones with short kisses, and does the same when he slides to her breasts. He feels the taste of wine in his mouth after running his tongue over it and her cleavage. He makes the girl make a deafening moan when he runs his fingers around her nipples and rubs them intensely through the bra.       “Oh, damn, Peter…” Helene sighs sensually, sinking her nails into the back of Peter in passion and running them from up to down so that he gets red scars on it. “M-m-m…”       Helene answers obediently to Peter’s assertive kiss on the lips, while he runs his hands over all the naked parts of the top of her body. And she keeps calm when his hands reach out to the clatter on her bra and do something to the one for several seconds before he manages to open it. When the blond takes this thing off her, throws it aside, and caresses the lady’s naked breasts with circular movements, feeling a faster heartbeat and getting wilder dreams at the sight of it.       “Beauty…” Peter pronounces in a low voice and smiles much wider. “Beautiful…”       Running his lips and the tip of his tongue over the curve of Helene’s neck, Peter lies her on the pillow and pays attention to the front of it, while the girl bends her back backward with closed eyes and leans on the pillow with the back of her head, starting to rub the bottom of her body unconsciously against the man’s groin and feeling that he is really excited now, judging by the way something gets into her abdomen so hard.       “You’re fucking sexy now…” Peter whispers in Helene’s ear. “I want you fucking badly…”       Peter moaning quietly sucks intensively on one of Helene’s nipples, while his fingers clench and unclench one of her breasts and rub the second tough nipple. She chokes on the emotions that possess her mind and understands that the tormenting tension is getting stronger in her abdomen and driving her crazy in a good sense. The crazy beat of her heart echoes in her head. Everything goes blurry before her eyes due to the alcohol in her blood and the dizziness caused by what this man is doing. While he no longer controls himself and is obsessed with the thought that his friend is going to belong to him at least tonight.       “Ah, if this magic happened between us without drinks, I’d be the happiest girl in the world,” Helene smiles blissfully, putting her relaxed hands on the pillow beside her.       “Me too!” Peter exclaims and grabs the bottle from the table. “I’m gonna drink for us not forgetting all of this after getting sober.”       Peter takes a big sip of wine right from the bottle and shakes sharply, feeling that the warmth spreads nicely throughout his whole body.       “Are we doing something terrible?” Peter takes a couple of more sips from the bottle. “Is it bad to fuck someone you like?”       “Absolutely agree,” Helene pronounces, running her hands over Peter’s torso. “I’m doing nothing bad to be ashamed of.”       “Fuck off those who wanna read us lectures! We’re adult people who know what to do better!”       After taking one more big sip, Peter puts the bottle on the table, runs his hands over Helene’s belly, leaves several kisses on it, and runs his tongue around her belly button, along with her loud, sensual moans. Then he runs his fingertips over her crotch and opens determinedly the zipper on her jeans, which he takes slowly off the lady’s thighs and legs, glancing at the black half-transparent knickers. Before he takes this thing off her, the man takes off the girl’s boots after he opens the zipper on the side. Then he can finally take off such a hateful thing at this moment, throw it aside, and pay attention to the naked slim legs that he caresses and covers with kisses.       “I am not disappointed by what I see…” Peter states with a smug smile, caresses the inside of Helene’s thighs, and leaves several short kisses, feeling how hot it is between her legs. “M-m-m, you’re so ready, babe…”       “I’m already ready…” Helene replies in a hoarse voice. “Take me… Take me…”       “Just a couple of glasses of wine before you’re ready to scream from pleasure.”       Peter takes the knickers off Helene and throws them aside like something unnecessary, leaving her absolutely naked and vulnerable to some extent.       “Yay, babe…” Peter nods confidently, looking at Helene’s body a couple of times from head to foot and licking his dry lips a little. “You’re gorgeous… Stunning…”       After running his fingers around her labia, Peter runs his fingers in Helene’s vagina and quickly feels up the tough bump that he rubs tenderly but intensively. That’s why she starts to make much sexier and louder moans, making back and forth movements with her thighs and bending backward like a cat.       “Damn…” Helene pronounces faintly and squeezes her thighs unconsciously. “M-m-m…”       “M-m-m, the girl is watering…” Peter smiles slyly. “She’s so wet and hot…”       While Peter brings his lips to the lips of Helene breathing heavily for an exciting kiss, she reaches out her hands to his pants on an elastic and takes them easily off his thighs. A couple of actions before the man is without them, while this cloth ends up where the other clothes are. Thanks to his black and gray underwear, it’s easy to see what happened after everything the friends have done. But when the girl wants to take this thing off him, so he also shows up absolutely naked in front of her, she ends up rolled onto her stomach and closes her eyes when his hands slide over her back. She shakes slightly every time the man’s soft lips cover this whole part of the body generously with short kisses.       “It’s gonna be all mine tonight…” Peter does not hide his happiness, runs his hands over Helene’s buttocks, and squeezes them tightly with his fingers. “And only mine…”       While Helene makes quiet, sensual moans, Peter kisses her shoulders with love and runs his hands over her arms that are lying across her naked body in a relaxed condition. He moves her long hair aside and caresses the nape of her neck and the area between her scapula with his lips, seeing how the girl’s skin gets immediately covered with goosebumps and hearing how deeply and heavily she is breathing.       “Goddess…” Peter pronounces in a whisper and massages Helene’s back a little. “Just a goddess…”       After slapping Helene playfully on the buttocks, Peter takes off his underwear and throws them as far as possible without looking, so that nothing prevents him from enjoying what’s happening.       “It’d be much better…” Peter exhales with relief. “My buddy felt too tight in it.”       Peter runs his hand slowly over Helene’s spine, rolls her onto her back with one easy movement, and kisses her on the lips immediately, while she barely realizes what’s happening. Nevertheless, she answers to it without hesitation, pressing the man closer to herself by the back of her head and putting her hand on his cheek, while his long fingers clench and unclench the lady’s breasts. A slight contact of the tongues makes them feel an electric wave get through the whole body and a one-second stop of the heart. The tormenting tension, catching every single muscle in the trap, wants to get out so furiously and give the friends eternal enjoyment and great relief.       Peter’s kisses on the neck, collarbones, breasts, and stomach make Helene choke on the frantic pleasure, and the caress with his fingers in the bottom part of her body cannot definitely make her hold down quiet moans that are close to shouts. And the sight of the naked body of the girl makes the man’s imagination create bright pictures that wake up his wish to bring this dark-haired beauty to the top of the world and do his best for her not to even think of holding herself down, to keep pleasing him with loud and sensual moans, and knowing everything he can do.       Helene and Peter are now under the influence of alcohol and will hardly remember what happened between them tomorrow. Or something is going to remain in their memory and make them feel great shame and a wish to come back to the past and do everything not to let it happen. But now the friends do not feel any regrets or shyness. Nothing that could hold down their passion and wish to belong to each other tonight. Both of them are absolutely ready to go further, not thinking about the consequences they may run into after Peter or Helene breaks the invisible wall between them and feels each other as close and acutely as never before.       

***

      Remembering that event, a bright blush shows up on Peter’s face, and his eyes are now full of a gloss. Even if everything happened under the influence of alcohol, he remembers almost all the events, and he felt ashamed for the time being. But it was gone little by little, and the man has lately come back to that day when it got clear that the sympathy between him and the girl was very, very mutual.       “I think it was one of the little moments when I felt happy and free,” Peter says thoughtfully. “When I didn’t consider myself ugly, unlucky, and worthless… When I let myself feel. When I just fucked everything off and decided to swim with the flow.”       “Yeah, the girl did not know that you actually remembered everything,” Theodore smiles slyly. “You remember how you spread her legs and fucked her with a lot of pleasure, while she was screaming like a fucking bitch.”       “Yeah, I remember everything… Maybe she did, too. But she lied to me.”       “Oh, trust me, Peter, it’s impossible to forget that. Even if you two drank almost the full bottle of wine together.”       “Yeah, I wouldn’t have thought I’d have sex with my best friend.”       “She wasn’t just a friend to you. You started to understand that you were in love with her already.”       “I just considered her sympathetic back then. And I fell in love with her some time later.”       “Oh, no, buddy, it’s not the truth!” Theodore protests, clapping Peter on the shoulder. “You, idiot, didn’t just understand that you fell in love. You didn’t know what was happening to you. But when you realized it a little, you started to deny everything so hard. You were running away from that feeling. Running away from the feelings for your friend.”       “Okay, I admit it!” Peter raises his hands in front of himself. “I got a crush on her literally on one of the first days when I met her!”       “No wonder! The girl was so good. Even when she wore closed clothes at first, Helene was a cutie anyway. And when she got much sexier clothes in her closet, your dick felt hard immediately at the sight of that doll.”       “Hey, stop reading my mind!”       “I’m in your head, moron!” Theodore knocks at his temple with a finger. “And I know all your thoughts by heart! I even know what you’re afraid to think of. And I always speak them aloud.”       “I was afraid to fall in love! I was afraid that my sympathy wouldn’t be mutual! She would fuck me off or use me. Just like Kristina did it then.”       “After that hot night, all the doubts about her feelings should’ve been gone.”       “You always say bullshit that people shouldn’t pay attention to when you’re drunk.”       “When people are drunk, they always tell the truth!” Theodore states, jumps from the bed, and starts walking in circles in the room. “You don’t like someone, and then you drink whiskey one day, come to them, and tell them everything you’ve got on your mind. You don’t pretend that you treat them well.”       “I wasn’t sure about it. But I thought everything was otherwise when I heard about Helene’s sympathy for me.”       “If that girl hadn’t had a crush on you, she wouldn’t have agreed to fuck you even when you were drunk. You’re still able to think of something even in this condition and can resist. But what could the girl do if she was lying unconscious?”       “It’s a luck that we passed out after everything happened.”       “Oh, yay, passing out after a cool sex is fucking awesome,” Theodore smiles blissfully. “When you get rid of pressure after getting in, fucking, and getting out, you can snore a little.”       “And it’s cool to feel like the ace of your business. When you just need to touch the girl with a finger to make her bend, moan, scream, and water.”       “Drinks helped you a lot. But you shouldn’t wean yourself to it… Otherwise, you won’t be able to feel hard without it. The situation won’t be saved by the hot cutie that’s ready to do a blowjob to you and a masturbation in the bathroom.”       “Marshall and I slept drunk just one time!” Peter exclaims. “We both were absolutely sober when it happened again.”       “Uh-huh, but what about those you had before her? I mean, those you had after your drunk sex with Helene! You fucked so many girls when you were drowning in depression and tried to get rid of it with tons of drinks. You drank as fuck at a club and spent the night in a motel, at someone’s home, or nobody the fuck knows where.”       “And what? I don’t remember almost anything from what happened! Yes, I know I fucked someone, but I don’t know who it was, where it happened, and when.”       “Anyway, you have a great experience in a drunk sex. And it impacted you somehow, since bringing a gal to an orgasm by yourself is an incredibly hard mission for you.”       “I love when a girl takes control of the situation and pleases me,” Peter says with his head proudly raised, takes the bottle from the table, and takes a sip. “I can just lie on the bed, put my arm under my head, and relax. While my whole body is in the hands of the lady’s sweet lips and tender, warm hands. When it’s caressed by her playful tongue… M-m-m…”       “You’re just trying to excuse your fear of sex,” Theodore replies, stopping sharply and putting his hands on his hips. “The fear of an initiative. When you had sex with Kristina for the first time, you failed most of all because it was your first experience. The problem is a fear. The fear that you cannot get rid of.”       “Are you gonna keep reading me lectures?” Peter resents.       “I said I was just trying to help you. Help you get into the depths of your subconsciousness that hides the answers to all your questions. The solution to all your problems. That you could’ve solved much earlier if you hadn’t preferred to keep them under lock and key.”       “You haven’t helped me at all! You’re just fucking my brain at the moment.”       “Because you and I don’t act like a team. At the moment, we’re having a one-way street: I try so hard to do something, but you hide and prefer to suffer.”       “I don’t have any wish or strength to solve all this shit you wanna get me involved in.”       “You have to, Peter, you have to.”       Theodore jumps on the bed in front of Peter and bends one foot at the knee, from which he lets his hand fall.       “I shall make you remember everything,” Theodore says with his head proudly raised. “I swear, when you’re in a situation that can remind you of the past, I shall take control of you. And I shall make you do what you did then. Maybe it will refresh your memory and put everything in its place. I ain’t sure you will survive, of course, but you’re gonna know all the truth as you’re dying with torture.”       Peter says nothing and just swallows nervously, thinking about something not very good for two seconds and taking a big sip from the bottle.       “Fuck, what I’m doing…” Peter moans tiredly, running his hand through his hair. “My hallucination is controlling me… If I tell someone about it, they won't believe me. They’re gonna pronounce me crazy and put me in a mental hospital. It’s gonna be a great shame… Oh, shit…”       “I’ve always been near. Since you decided to strike such an important part out of your life.”       “Yeah, you’ve drunk a lot of blood of mine. And I had a bigger part of my conflicts with people because of you. You turned me into a hysterical man. A fucking psycho that everyone must keep themselves far from.”       “It was fun, I must confess,” Theodore laughs evilly and gets up from the bed. “Especially when you attacked your friend with a knife and cut his veins when he was laughing at your problems with girls and even joked about your orientation.”       “Don’t remind me of that!” Peter cuts off sharply. “Don’t remind me of what still makes me wanna be swallowed by the ground!”       “He peed his pants from fear. He didn’t expect you’d attack him with a knife and try to kill him. Kill, dude. You tried to kill the man. You really did.”       “I didn’t want it! I didn’t wanna do that to Daniel! Yes, he got me mad with his jokes that I was fucking sick of. But I didn’t wanna kill and harm him! However, I grabbed the fucking knife and almost killed him.”       “He’s silent yet and doesn’t tell anyone about what happened between you. But if Daniel speaks, everyone will turn their backs on you. They’re gonna be afraid for their lives. They’re gonna think you’re a mentally unstable man.”       “I’m afraid of it to death. I’m afraid they’ll know everything, and I’ll have to blush for them.” Peter exhales sharply, glancing aside. “Though it’s hard for me to look into Perkins’ eyes after that case and pretend that nothing happened. And I’m surprised that he keeps worrying about me after what happened between us. And I am much more surprised that we haven’t talked about it. As if nothing happened.”       “You had such a wonderful chance to kill him on that day. But you, idiot, missed it. You didn’t take revenge on him for everything he had done to you.”       “I wouldn’t have attacked the guys and tried to kill them if you hadn’t encouraged me to. If you hadn’t told me again and again, ‘Kill them, kill! They’re guilty of Helene’s death. You must take revenge on them or her because they didn’t wanna save her.’ And in the case of your attack on Perkins with a knife, you made me kill him, too.”       “This is your protective reaction.”       Theodore locks his fingers behind his back and starts walking in circles in front of Peter.       “After what happened to you, you started to feel a fear of the whole world and wait for it to defeat you. And people around you really hurt you. Again and again. Again and again. For many years. You felt unprotected and weak. Nobody wanted to protect you. You didn’t understand why they were doing this to you. And the hatred you didn’t deserve and their indifference to your feelings and emotions led to the moment when you became much more unsociable and let nobody come to you closely. You began to attack everyone. Show aggression. That’s why you felt confident. And you weren’t afraid to harm someone because there was nobody around.”       Peter inclines his head silently, looking at the bottle in his hands.       “Your soul is full of offences,” Theodore notices. “It’s poisoned with hatred. You’ve kept it all for many years. You’ve been holding it down. You tolerated the mean attitude toward you silently. You were a young, naive boy who believed that every story had a good ending. But you didn’t get them. Nobody wanted to fight for you. Nobody was ready to sacrifice something for you. Their lives were much more important to them than yours. All these dreams were ruined. Your little world was crashed, you stayed all alone with all this shit.”       “Do you think I’m trying to release all my anger by harming those who are close to me?” Peter asks surprisingly.       “You know the answer, Peter. Aggression really leaves you, but it leaves you little by little. Though it doesn’t work. Because you haven’t forgiven anyone and haven’t understood anyone. The world is still your enemy. Your friends are your enemy. Your girlfriend is your enemy. When you relax a little and start to trust someone just a little, someone harms you again. You transform your weaknesses and fears into uncontrolled hatred and wild aggression and point it all toward innocent people. Maybe you’d be happy to end all of this, but you can’t.”       “Maybe, you’re right…” Peter agrees with reluctance. This world harms me again and again. It makes me much weaker. Though I can’t show it, and I have to protect myself. Cover it with aggression.”       “So, dude, think I’m the embodiment of everything you have inside. I am all your grievances, all your fears, all your sufferings, all your weaknesses. I am the embodiment of your untamed aggression that can destroy everything in its way if you don't control it. Something you refuse to accept, understand, forgive, and work through. I'm running from side to side and searching for a way home. Trying to return where I belong. But I can't. You don't let me in. Even if I knock on all the doors. Even if I've started to break the windows.”       “Oh, alright, stop, I’m done with listening to it!” Peter throws irritably, drinks the rest of the beer from the bottle, and gets up from the bed sharply with this one in his hands. “That’s how I’m about to go crazy.”       “When he throws the empty bottle in the trash can placed in the kitchen, Peter goes to the closet that he opens and starts looking for something in it.       “So, did you decide to take control of yours and start to do just something?” Theodore puts his hands on his hips.       “It seems that I’ve been sitting at home for too long,” Peter replies determinedly. “I need to breathe in some air. Maybe this is how you can disappear for a while so I can spend time all alone, in silence.”       “M-m-m, do you wanna drive the car after drinking a full bottle of beer?” Theodore asks with an evil sneer, coming closer to Peter. “Do you know the cops can stop you? You may get a great penalty and be deprived of your driver’s license… And if you hit someone on the road, you’re actually gonna be put in prison.”       “I can solve it without you, asshole! Without any pathetic hallucinations that can give me nothing good and necessary.”       Even if Theodore keeps walking around him and saying something, Peter ignores it and takes the clothes that he wants to put on to leave home and walk in the city a little, with the thought that he needs to breathe in some fresh air and distract himself. With the thought that he can really spend some time alone, without his hallucinations that have been annoying him with his lectures and telling him to remember something he is running away from so hard.       

***

      After letting Peter spend some time all alone, Terrence, Daniel, Edward, Anna, Raquelle, and Natalia decided that it was time to try to talk to him and support him during such a hard time. But their attempts to reach him do not lead to anything good because he declines their calls aggressively and just ignores their messages. The man does not want to talk to the girls and the men and does not aim to share his grief with those who find what happened to their friend something they cannot still accept even one week later.       The friends decide to be much more determined and go to his home together with the thought that they can catch Peter so that he does not have any place to run. But they come here after he goes somewhere, even if the girls and the men do not guess it and think the man does not just want to open the door, in front of which the friends stand, pressing the doorbell for several seconds.       “Peter, we know you’re at home,” Edward says quietly, leaning on the door with his hand. “Open the door.”       “Pete, please, let’s talk,” Anna says with pity in her eyes. “Nobody wishes you anything bad.”       “Don’t run from us, buddy, we wanna help you,” Raquelle says softly. “We’ve done nothing to make you do it to us.”       “We know how hurt you feel now,” Natalia adds. “It's hard for us, too. But I’m sure we can get through it together. And it can help you feel better.”       “If you’re ashamed of what happened at Marcus’ home, don’t be,” Terrence says confidently. “We forgot everything and forgave you.”       “Hey, we didn’t actually think of being mad at you!” Daniel exclaims. “Really, brother, it’s okay. We ain’t blame you for anything.”       “Peter, please, open the door,” Raquelle says quietly. “Let’s talk about everything quietly. You need us, you know it well.”       “Oh, it’s worthless, I guess,” Anna exhales sharply, putting her hand on her forehead. “He won’t let us in.”       “Yeah, we’ve been standing here and knocking at the closed door for a long time,” Natalia shakes her head.       “Agree, he’s probably sitting there and can hear us clearly,” Edward says thoughtfully. “But he’s ignoring us anyway.”       “It doesn’t make sense to stay here longer, guys,” Raquelle exhales resignedly. “We can leave. He won’t open anyway.”       “Yeah, it seems like nobody’s happy to see us here,” Terrence agrees. “And someone will hardly be.”       After looking at each other with sad eyes, the men and the girls turn around and start to go down the wide hall to the elevator in a slow step.       “So, what do we do?” Daniel throws his hands up. “How do we solve this problem? Leave him alone for a longer time? Wasn’t it enough to give him one week?”       “Too dangerous,” Terrence replies with anxiety, crossing his arms over his chest. “Who knows what Peter can do while he's alone.”       “He’s gonna go crazy if he keeps sitting at home and talking to nobody,” Raquelle says thoughtfully and embraces herself with both arms. “If he hasn’t done yet…”       “After Daniel’s story about Peter attacking him with a knife and wounding him, I’m more than sure that he’s already done,” Anna replies hesitantly, squeezing the handle of her bag, which she has placed over her shoulder.       “Yeah, it may be dangerous,” Edward agrees. “But we can’t leave him anyway. No matter what, Peter is our friend. The friend who needs our help.”       “But what can we do? The man is rejecting our help. He is kinda happy with everything.”       “Agree,” Raquelle nods. “If Peter wanted to change something, he would do this.”       “We don’t just know everything about him,” Daniel assumes. “There’s something important that’s the main problem. And until it’s revealed, nothing will change.”       “Mr. Johnson said Peter would remember nothing until he wanted it,” Natalia shrugs. “But he doesn’t want, he’s not ready, and he ain’t gonna do anything with it.”       “It’s not the most important thing, guys,” Terrence says quietly. “The main mission is to help him survive the loss of Helene. He cares about it much more now.”       “We can’t help him if he keeps running away from his like this,” Edward shakes his head. “If he keeps blaming us for being guilty of it and saying he doesn’t wanna hear and hear us.”       “Oh, if only we didn’t go crazy…” Raquelle sighs tiredly, rubbing her forehead. “It’s been a week, but I don’t feel better.”       “It’s hard for us, I don’t deny it,” Anna nods. “But still, it’s much harder for Peter now.”       “I’m afraid that he may try to kill himself again,” Daniel confesses with anxiety. “We may not know it this time and may have time to do nothing.”       “I fear it, too,” Edward agrees. “There’s nobody next to Peter. He withdrew into himself, he talks to nobody, and he sits at home all day long. Maybe he even surrounded himself with boxes of alcohol and tries to get through his grief with it.”       “Maybe we should ask Peter’s neighbors about him?” Raquelle suggests. “What if someone knows something? Knows something that can help us or… Make us dumbfounded?”       By this moment, the men and the girls come to the elevator and enter it all together after an unfamiliar old woman who does not pay attention to them leaves it.       “By the way, why didn’t I see those two old women who were sitting on the bench near the building all the time?” Daniel wonders, leaning on the wall of the elevator with his back. “I thought they were literally stuck to it, but it’s empty now.”       “Indeed, where are these old ladies?” Terrence puts his finger on his lip. “Whenever we went, we were always greeted with tons of evil comments about the youth being non-educated, rude, lazy, and more, more, more. But now we went by quietly.”       “Maybe they died?” Edward assumes. “Or at least one of them went to feed her cats’ gang that shouted from hunger so loudly that we could hear it outside?”       “They may know something, just saying,” Anna notices thoughtfully.       “They can, but they won’t say anything,” Daniel assumes.       “If Peter hasn’t left home for one week, they can hardly tell us something,” Raquelle protests.       “Well, maybe there’s a chance to know what has lately happened to him,” Terrence replies. “Find out whether Peter has shown any signs of weird behavior lately.”       “Hey, guys, Peter has a neighbor he gets along with well,” Natalia recalls. “Maybe she can tell us something?”       “Clarissa?” Daniel frowns slightly. “I dunno, honestly. But the idea is not hopeless.”       “Maybe, we should go to her home and try to talk to her?” Raquelle crosses her arms over her chest. “While Marta and Hillary can slander Peter easily and tell us who knows what, Clarissa wouldn’t do this ‘cause she really gets along with him.”       “Okay, since we’re going down, let’s check out the famous bench first,” Terrence shrugs. “If it’s empty now, we can come back and try to talk to Clarissa.”       “Besides, there are not just these ladies,” Natalia notices. “Peter has many neighbors on the floor. We can come to anyone and find out something.”       “Oh, who knows, Natalia, who knows…” Anna sighs tiredly. “Peter said people didn’t respect him here, and he fought with someone all the time.”       “Knowing about his weirdness, I’m starting to suspect that everything is not so easy,” Raquelle says thoughtfully. “Not as easy as Rose says.”       “You think his neighbors could be witnesses to his weird behavior?” Daniel frowns slightly. “Is that why almost nobody respects Peter here?”       “Who knows, Daniel… But that guy is definitely not as harmless as we think.”       “We know it now,” Edward agrees. “Peter is really a very dark horse.”       “Taking back all my words about you being weird,” Terrence says thoughtfully.       “Right!” Daniel exclaims. “As Chris notices, you used to seem a weird guy, but Rose stood out to you in all meanings.”       “I’ve been telling you for ages that I’m the sweetest, the shyest, and the fluffiest guy from all of us,” Edward replies quietly.       “So sweet and shy that I sometimes wanna hit my foot against your face in a jump,” Terrence snaps.       “Shut up, Terrence, I don’t have the strength to deal with you now.”       “Trust me, bro, none of us has it.”       Silence settles in the air for several seconds, during which every one of them thinks about something. And then the elevator gets to the first floor and opens the doors, so the men and the girls leave it and walk some distance down the wide hall. Some time later, they all leave the building and end up outside. After looking around and looking at each other, Raquelle, Natalia, and Anna go further in a snail’s step, and Daniel, Edward, and Terrence follow them and decide to hug their sweethearts at some moment, while the ladies press themselves to them with pleasure. And they do not notice that they go by Hillary and Marta, who come back to their favorite place and glance at them with disapproval.       “Oh, oh, oh, friend, you just look at these shameless folks!” Marta exclaims. “Look at what they are doing! They are hugging! Before people’s eyes!”       “Ugh, it’s so non-educating!” Hillary winces. “If someone did it in the time of you and me, they would be put under a public flogging. Nobody let themselves go so far! Everyone behaves very discreetly and gently. But these are hugging and sharing kisses.”       “God, what young people are living nowadays! No shame and coincidence! The lost generation is growing.”       “And it’s getting worse. Here’s what they’re doing when they’re twenty or thirty, but children living now actually make me horrified.”       “Oh, these kids are really insolent! They do not know how to behave at all. They are worse than an animal!”       “What do you want?” Hillary surprises. “Who educates them? Someone like those who are standing and hugging before everyone’s eyes!”       “They all must get their ass kicked with a belt! A belt! Our parents beat us, had us ashamed, and held us under harsh control! And it’s fine! We grew up into decent people who worked for the well-being of society and knew how to behave.”       “Children living now can even call the police if their mom or dad just raises their voice at them. They tell them so much that their family may be checked.”       “Yeah, as they say, mental health means a lot to them. In order to keep it fine, you must not swear, beat, or teach a baby. Only praise and allow them everything.”       “That’s how we’ve got any shit that’s the reason why they allow everyone! The world has rules and laws that everyone must follow for a reason.”       “Gosh, who is going to live in our world after us?” Marta sighs heavily. “Who’s going to rule it? What will they do to it? I'm even afraid to imagine!”       “Agree, friend!” Hillary glances gloomily at Edward, Daniel, and Terrence, who are hugging Natalia, Anna, and Raquelle tightly and saying something to them to comfort them. “What’s going to happen to the world if we have these non-educated creatures that don’t know even the simplest rules?”       “Listen, that’s Rose’s friends and their girls!” Marta exclaims, squinting her eyes slightly and looking better.       “Really?” Hillary looks at the men and the girls better. “It’s really them! God, I can barely see everything, even with my glasses! I’ve become a blind chicken now!”       “Yeah, our vision is too bad now… Age doesn’t stop.”       “Jeez, how didn’t we notice that they arrived and entered? They did leave the building!”       “That’s what happens when you leave for two minutes. You miss the most interesting things!”       “You’re right… And they wonder why we’re sitting here all day long. Here’s why!”       “Listen, look at the faces of these pretty boys! All in bruises and cuts! And burns on the arms!”       “Indeed… Who did this to them?”       “Rose did?”       “Maybe he did! And I wouldn’t be surprised!”       “It seems like they had a serious conflict since these guys became wounded fighters.”       “Uh-huh, the six-foot-tall one can actually, barely walk and holds his back.”       “I see, I see! He really walks like an invalid!”       Meanwhile, Terrence, Daniel, Edward, Raquelle, Natalia, and Anna standing not far start to feel someone’s eyes on their backs and step away from their sweethearts to look around.       “Oh, guys, look!” Edward exclaims. “Our old ladies have shown up!”       “Yeah, speak of the devil…” Daniel pronounces thoughtfully. “They’re back to their place and keep patrolling the territory.”       “I bet my tooth that they’re sitting and talking about us now,” Terrence says confidently.       “They’re probably unhappy with us standing here and hugging,” Raquelle assumes, keeping her arms wrapped around Terrence’s waist and pressing herself closely to him.       “I can hear them resenting and saying we’re shameless and non-educated since we’re letting ourselves do this,” Natalia replies, while Edward is hugging her tightly from behind by the waist.       “It seems like we’re running here naked and wanna have sex before everyone’s eyes,” Anna adds, holding Daniel’s hand, while he moves a strand of hair off her eyes carefully.       “If they see the female naked breasts or the male penis, they’re gonna be rushed to the hospital,” Edward says confidently. “Or actually buried in the ground.”       “Yeah, these nuns aren’t categorically allowed to see nature at such an old age,” Daniel tries to weaken the tension.       “Hey, idlers, did you remember your friend Rose?” Marta asks loudly. “You don’t show up here for nobody the hell knows how long, but now you come here again!”       “Uh-huh, while that idiot doesn’t almost leave his apartment and behaves disgustingly,” Hillary adds.       “Or did you, men, come to sort out your relationship with him?”       “Uh-huh! Is your friend the one to beat your faces like this? Or did someone else beat all of you?”       After looking at each other and ignoring the words of these women, the men and the girls come closer to Hillary and Marta quietly.       “Erm, excuse me, don’t you know if Peter is at home now?” Raquelle asks gently.       “He doesn’t have any other homes!” Hillary shrugs. “Of course, he is!”       “We just went to him, but he didn’t open the door for us,” Natalia confesses. “We stood in front of the door for several minutes, but no result.”       “Hey, did you fight with him again?” Marta sneers evilly. “Did you tell that weak boy something hurtful so that he got mad like a girl?”       “We just want to support him,” Anna replies quietly. “But he’s running from us and doesn’t want to talk to us.”       “Ha, as if he wants to talk to us!” Hillary rolls her eyes.       “Uh-huh, of course, we’re used to him never greeting us and ignoring all of our claims,” Marta adds. “But what Peter did several days ago was out of line.”       “But what did he do, let me ask you?” Daniel asks quietly.       “He shouted at us! He was rude! He swore at us! He fucked us off! He insulted! Threatened! And pushed us!”       “Uh-huh, the boy has become really insolent!” Hillary resents. “No respect for older people! He thinks he can do everything since he has become a star.”       “Excuse me, haven’t you noticed anything weird about Peter lately?” Edward asks. “Maybe there’s something that makes you suspicious?”       “Weird?” Hillary surprises loudly. “Rose is always weird! Like out of this world! A mistake of the nature!”       “Uh-huh, would a real man behave in the same way he does?” Marta wonders. “Would he let himself give up? Would he let himself solve his problems by trying to kill himself? Letting himself cry like a girl?”       “Yeah, when a child is hurt just a little, they start to cry shortly! They came up with depression! And any other stupid things! Even though real men never cry! Never! Not for anything! No matter how bad they feel!”       “The idleness is to blame! If your friend were busy with something good, he would not have so-called depression. If he got a shovel and was sent to the construction site, he would feel good immediately! He would have no time to cry and think of self-murder!”       “Self-murder! It’s a terrible sin! God gave life to you so generously, but you reject it so easily! It’s really disrespectful! Disrespect to heaven!”       “That’s why God has been punishing Peter all his life. Because he is always unhappy with something, cries all the time, and opens his veins to deprive himself of life. A place in hell is prepared for him. He is going to burn in the flames of hell and suffer. His soul will never rest in peace.”       During this speech full of outrage, the men and the girls look at each other as they frown slightly.       “Does it mean you can say nothing?” Terrence asks quietly.       “Listen, youth, we aren’t his nannies to watch him,” Marta sighs tiredly. “We have so many things to do. We don’t have time to think about this rude guy that obviously has mental issues.”       “Uh-huh, I was lying quietly in my bed, sleeping, seeing a dream…” Hillary tells. “And I woke up from the hysterical shouts that literally the whole house heard. I was wondering, ‘What’s that?’, I understood nothing… But when I listened to it better and realized that Rose was having hysteria.”       “Peter was screaming at night?” Natalia rounds her eyes.       “It’s soft to say! He was racking his cords!”       “But why?” Edward wonders. “What happened?”       “Who the hell knows! He probably drank at night and didn’t let normal people sleep.”       “I heard his hysterical screams, too,” Marta confesses. “He told someone to leave him alone and let him live a normal life. Like, the poor boy was sick of all this shit. He wanted to live quietly.”       “Was he talking to someone at night?” Anna rounds her eyes. “On the phone? Or someone went to him?”       “Hardly, honey,” Hillary pronounces confidently. “Marta and I are sitting here all day long, but we don’t see anyone coming to Peter. Though you’re literally the only ones from his friends who visit him.”       “Does it mean he talked to someone on the phone?” Raquelle concludes. “But who could call him at a late night?”       “I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually started to hallucinate,” Marta states and makes a circular movement with her finger against her temple. “If Rose is mentally unhealthy, and must be put in a mental hospital.”       “Yes, yes, by the way, before he tried to kill himself, he screamed often at something or someone,” Hillary confesses.       “Right, right! And it happens during the daytime and at nighttime.”       “It’s weird…” Anna frowns slightly, crossing her arms over her chest. “Who does he fight with? And why?”       “And we’ve witnessed Rose staring aside several times,” Hillary replies. “Well… You know, cats may spend hours looking at something, and Rose was kind of stuck, too.”       “Stuck?” Natalia asks surprisingly.       “He was looking and also talking!” Marta exclaims.       “Talking?” Edward rounds his eyes. “Are you sure about it?”       “Maybe we’re blind and deaf, but we aren’t stupid yet,” Marta states determinedly. “We saw and heard clearly that Peter was talking to himself and looking aside.”       “So, do you want to say he sees something that other people don’t?” Daniel specifies. “He is having some kind of hallucinations?”       “You know, friend, I wouldn’t be surprised at all!” Hillary exclaims. “I knew Peter would have something like this early or late. It couldn’t happen that the man remained normal after spending a big part of his time in depression, drinking as hell, cutting his veins, and trying to kill himself.”       “Aren’t you lying to us?” Raquelle asks hesitantly. “Was it really Peter? Was he really acting like this?”       “Oh, sweetie, why would we lie to you?” Marta sighs tiredly. “We tell you what we saw and don’t hide the truth. And we have the reason to believe that your friend is suffering from some mental illness.”       “And he…” Anna bites her lip slightly. “Didn’t he attack anyone with a knife? Maybe… He tried to… Kill or wound someone?”       “Oh, God, save us!” Hillary crosses herself three times. “God, save us! But if it happens, we will call the mental hospital immediately and tell them to take this psycho with them.”       “Yes, yes, we will not be silent!” Marta exclaims. “If we see he’s walking here with a knife and threatening someone, he will have to spend a wonderful time in a straitjacket under the dose of a strong sedative. Until the end of his life.”       “Who walks here with a knife?” the female soft voice pronounces.       Everyone moves their eyes to the woman who has just come to them. Almost the same age as Hillary and Marta. Short, slim, with short gray hair and kind light eyes. Holding a little packet with the picture of a bowl of fruits placed on the wooden table.       “Oh, Clarissa, that’s you!” Marta exclaims.       “Hello, Marta, hello, Hillary,” Clarissa greets quietly.       “Hello, hello, neighbor,” Marta pronounces with a sly smirk.       “What’s happening here? Who are you talking about? Who’s running here with a knife?”       “Nobody yet. But there is a high chance that Peter can bury all of us in the ground.”       “Jesus Christ, what are you talking about? How do you dare to say it about the boy?”       “Your beloved boy has bent everyone over here!” Hillary throws gloomily. “We are so done with that psycho kid!”       “If you don’t love him, it doesn’t mean you have a right to say these things about him and make him crazy.”       “But it’s the truth, sweetheart,” Marta throws her hands up. “You heard that the idler screams here all day, all night. And talks to himself. He tells someone to leave him alone.”       “I sleep at night, I don’t listen to what’s happening around me,” Clarissa replies coldly.       “Ah, yeah, sorry, we forgot that you were deaf,” Hillary waves her hand. “You can only hear what’s near you.”       “But your ears can hear even what’s happening somewhere in the Arctic. You know everything, you hear everything, you see everything.”       “Wait, you must be Clarissa Larson?” Terrence specifies. “Peter’s neighbor he gets along with?”       “Yes, it’s me,” Clarissa confirms quietly. “And you’re his friends, as I understand.”       “It’s correct,” Edward nods.       “Peter has told me a lot about you.” Clarissa glances at Daniel. “And I’ve seen you several times. It seems like you’re his closest friend.”       “Yes, I remember you,” Danie pronounces quietly.       “Listen, Mrs. Larson, don’t you know anything about what’s happening to Peter?” Anna asks. “He ignores us and doesn’t want to talk to us. We just tried to visit him, but he didn’t open the door.”       “Oh, I just saw him,” Clarissa says.       “Saw?” Raquelle rounds her eyes. “Where?”       “He was going to the parking lot, he wanted to go somewhere, I think. I was going by him.”       “Oh, jeez!” Marta exclaims. “When we just left for two minutes, the most interesting things started to happen.”       “But I was confused because he didn’t greet me. Peter is usually very nice and kind, but now he didn’t even look at me.”       “My gosh…” Natalia pronounces thoughtfully.       “But I’m much more worried about his appearance. The poor boy has become too tiny. He’s so skinny, so unhappy… His eyes are red, tear-stained… He’s got a bristle… Though even if he had it before, he didn’t grow it too long. And he is beaten! All in bruises, blood spots, burns… I’m even afraid to imagine what he’s doing to himself.”       “The idleness is the reason!” Hillary waves her index finger. “If the guy was busy with something, he would not have time to suffer from doing nothing.”       “Do you think a man can’t have problems?” Daniel surprises truly. “Do you think men are senseless?”       “A real man doesn’t whine! A real man works hard all day long and earns money! He feeds his family! He makes children with his wife! But what’s this one doing? No-thi-ng! He just lies on the bed and suffers! He doesn’t want to work and create his family. We don’t know what he actually wants.”       “Please, Hillary, Marta, stop saying these things about him,” Clarissa demands quietly.       “We say what we want!” Marta throws coldly. “We’re adult women and can let ourselves tell our opinion.”       “Did someone ask you about it? Did Peter ask you about what to do? Why do you annoy the guy with pieces of advice he didn’t ask about? Leave him alone and think of your life!”       “Oh, don’t teach us life, divorcee with trailer!” Hillary waves her hand.       “At least, I have a trailer! But you don’t even have a man! As well as Marts! That’s why you two are mad and hate everyone.”       “My husband actually died!” Marta exclaims.       “He was not your husband! You didn’t register your marriage officially! You lived with him in a so-called civil marriage! Even if he proposed to you many times to have a wedding. But you overplayed to be hard to reach for so long that he eventually died and didn’t become your husband.”       “What are you talking about, crazy woman?”       “Look at yourself, old crone!”       “You’re the same non-educated boor as your beloved Peter,” Hillary throws rudely. “Who started to talk to himself. The man started to hallucinate. He has gone really insane.”       “Anyone goes insane when they lose a close person and either withdraws into themselves at their wish or stays all alone because they don’t have anyone to support them,” Daniel says determinedly.       “Ha, who did he lose?” Marta sneers evilly. “Did you do something?”       “His girlfriend died,” Raquelle states. “That’s why he’s going crazy from grief.”       “What?” Clarissa, Marta, and Hillary open their eyes widely and look at each other.       “What do you mean, she died?” Clarissa asks.       “It’s been one week,” Anna says with sadness in her eyes. “We lost our friend, he lost his sweetheart.”       “Wait, do you mean Helene?”       “Her.”       “Holy Mother…” Hillary pronounces with a horror in her eyes.       “Jeez, but what happened?” Marta wonders. “Why did she die?”       “She burned in the fire,” Terrence replies quietly. “She exploded. She couldn’t get out.”       “Jesus Christ, it’s awful…” Clarissa closes her mouth with a hand.       “What news!” Marta shakes her head in mistrust.       “So, did she really burn in the fire?” Hillary asks hesitantly.       “It’s a long story,” Edward replies. “But Helene is gone. She is dead.”       “Can’t believe it…” Clarissa pronounces in a shaking voice. “Poor girl… My God… She was so sweet… Young… Kind, nice, educated… I liked her so much. Peter admired her so much… It’s awful… My God…”       “That’s why he withdraws into himself and doesn’t talk to anyone,” Daniel explains. “We gave him some time to spend alone, but now we have decided that it’s time to talk. But Peter doesn’t react to our calls and messages.”       “No matter what, I am sorry about the girl,” Marta states. “Nobody must die in such a tormenting death.”       “Poor boy, what a grief, my gosh…” Clarissa upsets. “I will go to his home tonight and try to talk to him. Let him know I am ready to help him with everything.”       “He will hardly talk to you,” Terrence assumes. “Since Peter is running from us, he will not let you come to him.”       “My God, when I think he’s been living along with this grief for one week, I feel bad. He must not have stayed alone in this condition. God, don’t let him deprive himself of life!”       “That’s what we’re afraid of,” Raquelle confesses. “We’re afraid that we may not know it while we don’t have a chance to contact and talk to him.”       “Don’t you know if he actually goes somewhere or has spent this whole week at home?” Natalia specifies.       “Oh, I don’t know…” Clarissa shakes her head. “But I haven’t heard or seen for one week. I met him just now.”       “My God, Rose is mentally unstable, but he might go insane after the death of the girl,” Hillary suspects. “If only he didn’t start a fire here and didn't want to kill all of us to hell.”       “Listen, stop insulting the bot! He feels bad, but you annoy him with your lectures.”       “I’m telling the truth, neighbor. And I would like to look at those who made this creature and let him be born.”       “Marcus Longbottom,” Daniel pronounces thoughtfully.       “What?” Marta frowns slightly. “Marcus Longbottom?”       “What do you mean?” Clarissa wonders. “What are you talking about, son?”       “You heard it right,” Terrence confirms. “Marcus Longbottom is a father of Peter.”       “Holy Mother…” Marta puts her hand on her heart. “Is that the one? Is Rose a son of the murderer?”       “It’s a shocking piece of news for us, too,” Anna confesses. “But it’s the truth. Peter is connected with him through family ties.”       “Jesus Christ, are you talking about Marcus Longbottom himself?” Clarissa opens her eyes widely. “The one who horrified the country in the 90s? Is the boy his son?”       “He was named Theodore Longbottom after he was born,” Edward confesses. “But he ended up living with the women who adopted him and changed his name to Peter Rose.”       “Why am I not surprised at all?” Marta throws gloomily, turning her nose up. “Why am I not surprised that Marcus is his father?”       “Agree!” Hillary exclaims.       “And now I understand why he seemed so similar to Marcus.”       “Yeah… That man had mental issues, and his sonny inherited them. Both of them are bloodthirsty, revengeful, and heartless psyches.”       “Do you remember he called himself Theodore Longbottom when he swore at us with no shame one week ago? It happens that he knows that this is his real name!”       “Right, right! The boy promised that he would take revenge on everyone who had dared to harm him. And he threatened you and me. And he pushed us so strongly that we almost gave our souls to God!”       “And we wanted to think about how to make him sick. Though we have to do something because the guy is going to do his best for it.”       “How do you, snakes, dare to say all of this?” Clarissa resents. “Did you go crazy by the end of your life?”       “So, honey, will you keep protecting that psycho?” Marta asks surprisingly. “Even after the news about the one to be his father?”       “I will not believe any of your words! For me, Peter will always be a kind, decent, and educated guy. The only one at this building with whom I could talk. Who I could ask for help.”       “Uh-huh, we don’t wait for help from him!” Hillary hums. “I am silent about his not helping to carry old people’s bags to the apartment, holding the door, and giving a hand. Our whole house is ruined, but that idler doesn’t care. Though he could grab a hammer and nails and fix everything. But no, we don’t have men here! There is the one who can hardly be called the one.”       “When you learn to ask him gently, not to give orders like queens, the boy will repair the whole building.”       “Ha, even when I die, he will not move his ass off!” Marta exclaims. “And now he is out of his mind after the gal’s death. He doesn’t look like himself now. As if we talked to the different man the last time.”       “Death is always a hard test for everyone when they go a little crazy.”       “Oh, yeah, everything is bad in the case of Rose. He threatens us openly with murder. He threatens to take revenge on those he hates. He forgot about coincidence, shame, respect, and politeness.”       “I’ve never heard these words from him.”       “But Marta and I did!” Hillary exclaims.       “It seems like Rose is really outta his mind,” Daniel addresses his friends in a whisper. “If these old women ain’t lying that he threatened everyone with murder, really screams at night, and sees some hallucinations.”       “We’re losing him, guys,” Anna says with sadness in her eyes. “Peter will never be the one we know. He’s never been the one.”       “Will we have to forget him and accept the fact that we lost another friend?” Natalia shakes her head.       “If he’s really a psycho, it’s dangerous for all of us to get in touch with him,” Edward replies thoughtfully. “Especially now, when Rose calls himself Theodore.”       “Yeah, and we, guys, know well what Theodore can do,” Terrence adds.       “Erm, alright, if you know nothing, I think we will leave,” Raquelle says, biting her lip slightly. “Sorry for bothering you.”       “Excuse me, guys, do you know something about Peter’s mental illnesses?” Clarissa asks hesitantly. “Do you think these two ladies tell the truth?”       “Actually, yes…” Daniel replies with sadness in his eyes. “There are some cases… That… Make us think that Peter… Is not quite healthy.”       “So, is that psycho threatening to kill you, too?” Marta meddles. “Did you annoy the boy so hard that you’re the first lines in his list of victims?”       “Let’s say…” Edward pronounces thoughtfully. “He… Tried to kill us.”       “Jesus Christ…” Clarissa shakes her head with horror in widely open eyes.       “Ha, the kid didn’t surprise me!” Hillary smirks evilly.       “But when he tried to kill us, we thought Helene’s death was the one to blame for it,” Terrence confesses. “However, we recently learned about one case that proved that Peter could really be sick.”       “Oh, oh, you didn’t surprise me!” Marta exclaims coldly. “And if Rose is put in a mental hospital or prison for the murder, I will not be surprised, either. He is really taking on the same way his father went.”       “Listen, guys, I suggest you come with me and tell me everything about it,” Clarissa suggests. “I can make you coffee or tea, while you tell me more about this story.”       “Ha, why do you want to talk to them alone?” Hillary smiles slyly. “Can’t we know anything?”       “If you know too much, you’ll get older sooner. Though you have a little time to live already.”       “Boor!” Marta roars.       “C’mon, guys, come with me,” Clarissa addresses the men and the girls with a gentle smile.       “Alright, we agree,” Terrence replies quietly, looking at everybody.       “We can do two things at the same time: you can tell me everything I don’t know, but I can probably help you with something.”       “Thank you so much, ma’am,” Raquelle thanks. “You’re very nice to us.”       Clarissa makes a gesture to call all the men and the girls with her and goes to the entrance of the building with them, not saying goodbye to Hillary and Marta, while they barely hold down the anger as they watch them leave.       “Yeah, as it turned out, Rose is a real monster,” Hillary says thoughtfully.       “My gut told me that something was wrong with him,” Marta states. “I felt that he was able to do something bad.”       “Now I don’t doubt that he is going to take after his father and start to kill everyone.”       “Yeah… He will start with his offenders and then taste it and make everyone his victims.”       “God, how could these people actually live in this world?” Hillary wonders. “How could psyches live in the world as if nothing happened?”       “Oh, I don’t know, friend! I am shocked…”       “I wonder what his girlfriend got into since she died in such a tragic way?”       “Oh, she was probably guilty of everything!” Marta waves her hand. “She probably did a makeup and dressed up like a prostitute and went to walk again. And then she ran into a psycho.”       “Yeah, but the girl burned in the fire.”       “You know, friend, I don’t care about her at all! If she died, she died! Why would I care? She is not my daughter, not my granddaughter! Why would I be worried about her? Moreover, she was a girlfriend of Rose, whom I cannot stand!”       “Me too, huh… But I am kind of sorry for the girl. She was young, she had her whole life ahead.”       “She was probably a great sinner since she died so early. God does see everything and knows who can get a chance and who must be taken out.”       “I don’t know, Marta…” Hillary sighs tiredly. “I don’t know…”       “Caring about dead people doesn’t make sense. You'd better take care of your life. About Rose being able to do something to kill all of us at any time.”       “That’s what I’m afraid of.”       “It’s alright, we are not so unprotected,” Marta says. “Peter will not dare to do a little bad thing. I swear I shall personally call the police and report him. Tell them what he came up with in all details.”       “Yeah, we can expect anything from the one who talks to the air, threatens us with murder, and tries to bury his friends in the ground.”       “But they got a good lesson for life – not to get in touch with psyches. Their faces say that they’re starting to get disappointed in Rose and aren’t ready to protect him and save him from any bad things so hard.”       “Now he will save himself on his own since he needs nobody.”       “Maybe he murdered the gal in anger but started to pretend to suffer for us.”       “Maybe…” Hillary pronounces thoughtfully. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Helene’s death was his work. Though I don’t understand why he would do it.”       “You can expect anything from psyches, Hillary. And if that gal got him super angry with something, resisting was worthless. Moreover, Rose threatened to kill everyone who had ever harmed him.”       “I’d like to know how the gal made him so mad that he added her to the list of his enemies?”       “She shook her naked ass for other men!” Marta throws rudely. “Here’s the examination! A normal man would never tolerate any prostitutes who don’t take care of their home, their husband, and their children, and show their bodies to those who must not see them. Those who don’t need them at all!”       “As if Rose doesn’t miss a chance to shake his genitals for young girls.”       “But if they knew he was a sick psycho, they’d think twice before spreading their legs for him.”       “Agree, my darling.”       Hillary and Marta sigh tiredly and keep sitting on their favorite bench, enjoying the good, warm weather. They talk about everyone who goes by them, everything that happens around and far from them, and express their disappointment about the world that has changed for the worse and people who are not the same as they were in their youth.       

***

      While Marcus Longbottom and his accomplices are arrested and waiting for their sentence announcement, Elijah Hartley is still free, even if the police are looking for him. He is well aware of it and tries so hard to hide, using all the possible ways of masking. Even if he does not doubt that someone will come for him and put handcuffs on him early or late. Not that he is hoping to avoid the punishment. No, he does not. The man just wants to finish his business before it happens.       Elijah just comes to the high building in his car, goes to the small parking lot, and leaves it there. Then he turns off the motor, leaves the salon, and takes several packets filled with products, cleaning supplies, and something else from the backseat. He locks the car with a key and, looking around a little nervously, comes to the entrance of the building. After passing some distance, he comes to one of the elevators and presses the button to call it. Luckily, it comes to the first floor fast enough and opens its door. When he enters it as fast as a bullet, while nobody is around, Elijah presses the button with the floor he needs and waits for it to get up and open. All this time, he shakes his leg nervously and looks around, as if he is afraid that the police staff members may be waiting for him somewhere with handcuffs in their hands.       When the elevator opens the door with a quiet sign, Elijah leaves the cabin quickly and goes down the wide, clean, and light hall where white colors dominate. He has to turn on the left or the right several times and pass some distance before he ends up in front of the door he needs. After spending some time finding the keys, the man unlocks it with one of them and closes it after he rubs his feet against the special rag and enters the apartment, ending up in a small hall with light walls where it’s amazingly empty.       After he goes further in the apartment, Elijah ends up in the small living room where there is a small corner sofa, a coffee table, a middle-sized plasma TV, and a wide shelf with books, discs, and other little things. He does not stay here for too long and goes to the kitchen to put all the things he bought in their place. But first, the man puts the packets on one of the kitchen counters and goes to the bathroom near him and washes his hands under warm water with liquid soap. After he dries his hands, Elijah returns to the kitchen and starts putting all his purchases in their place: on the kitchen counters or the refrigerator. He gets so busy with it that he shakes slightly when he hears the sound of the door closing far from him.       When he turns around, Elijah sees a short girl with dark hair brushed in a ponytail wearing a white bathrobe enter the kitchen. She definitely thinks about something as she comes to the high window that opens to the gorgeous view of the part of the city, not paying attention to the owner of this small apartment. While he stops sorting out the products and comes to her, asking with clear anxiety:       “Hey, hey, why did you get up? You were told to lie and get the strength!”       “I’m sick of lying…” the girl replies quietly. “Everything hurts. I’ve had to spend a while week in bed.”       “Didn’t you hear what the doctor told you?” Elijah resents. “You must lie, feed well, and do nothing for several more days! After a strong exhaustion and SARS.”       “Don’t worry, I feel much better now.” The girl coughs quietly. “And lying in bed all day long is not for me.”       “Oh, Helene, Helene… You were released from the hospital yesterday. You must follow the doctors’ orders to get well.”       “I felt much better on the second day I spent in the hospital.”       Helene turns on Elijah and looks at him with her tired eyes. There are many enough cuts that are covered with little pieces of bandage on her face, bruises that go away slowly on her whole body, and tracks of burns, and her skin does not look as pale as before.       “I just needed to eat well and get enough sleep.” Helene sighs heavily. “I wanted it all the time when I had to be in that house.”       

***

      One week ago.       After finding a true enough excuse not to be suspicious and to pretend that he is going to check everything and make sure that the plan works like magic, Elijah actually stays not far from the house where the accomplices of Marcus Longbottom started a fire some time ago and set up a self-made bomb. They did it to get rid of Helene Marshall, whom they caught in the trap that she would not get out of without anyone’s help.       Elijah hides not far from the half-ruined gates and watches closely what’s happening, waiting for Shawn, David, and Darren to do their business here and go to Marcus’ home by his order. Right before his eyes, the fire spreads rapidly through all the rooms of the many-floor house, and he can hear the heartbreaking female screams and begs for help that can be heard even at a long enough distance. It makes Elijah’s heart squeeze painfully and makes him even more sure that he just cannot leave Helene to die and really wants to save the one who does not deserve to end her life like this.       Some time later, almost the whole abandoned house is caught on fire, and thick, acrid smoke spreads rapidly throughout the entire territory, causing watery eyes and breathing issues. It flows from one side to another depending on the wind, small explosions happen several times in different places, and the fire spreads much faster after quiet claps. Being happy with completing the mission, Shawn, Darren, and David go at a safe distance, covering their noses and mouths with thick rags not to breathe in carbon monoxide. But it does not help them a lot since they start coughing quietly, being barely able to see where to go due to the thick smoke. Then Elijah decides to use the moment and enter the house, completely understanding all the risks and the fact that he may die himself if he slows down or just turns out to be unlucky and dies in an explosion that the accomplices may arrange by pressing just one button.       Elijah puts on a gas mask that he prepared early not to choke himself and takes a fire extinguisher that he took from the car. Then he, looking around at times, starts to find a way to get into the house immediately and go to the latest floor. Luckily, he manages to get into it through the window frame and ends up in the room that has not been set on fire yet. He keeps running from one side to another in search of the stairs and finds them, after all. When he is on the second floor, the man understands that the situation is not so good here, and it’s going to be much harder to find a way out due to the fire and the smoke, through which he can barely see some figures.       Besides, Elijah has to do everything very fast because burning boards and pieces of concrete start falling over him from above at some moment. Also, he does not forget about the fire extinguisher that he uses to clean the way. And despite all the difficulties and the burn that he gets on his hand when he accidentally touches the tongues of fire, the man finds the stairs and goes up to the latest, third floor, where the situation is catastrophic. Seeing something in a gas mask through the thick smoke is an unreal thing. A part of the roof has collapsed, and burning boards keep burning on the floor after falling.       This time, Elijah spends much more time finding a way to the necessary room and extinguishing the fire, which cannot be put out with just one fire extinguisher. On the way, he gets a couple of instruments so that he can clean the way, breaking the locked doors, breaking boards, and cleaning up the bunches of concrete. Even if he starts losing hope, the man does not give up and keeps looking for the room where Helene is locked, praying silently that Darren, Shawn, and David do not activate the self-made bomb.       By trial and error, Elijah reaches the last room he has not checked out yet after entering all the others. No manipulations work on the lock when he pulls it from side to side. Then he decides to break the door with no shame, giving hits on it again and again. At first, nothing works, but thanks to the man’s effort, it bends and gets taken off the hinges. Elijah sees that the whole room is on fire, and it’s going to be much harder to get further. Nevertheless, it does not stop him from starting to clean up the way determinedly with the fire extinguisher, even if he does not use it too much, since he believes he is going to need it later.       However, despite his effort, the fire keeps destroying the entire house rapidly and turning it to ash. But even in this situation, he cleans up the way so that he can look around and see Helene lying unconscious in the corner of the room after choking with the smell of carbon monoxide, while the fire is very, very close to her. Several boards have already fallen on her, and the tongues of fire left a burn on her leg in the form of a bright red spot on the skin and little bubbles.       Not thinking a lot, Elijah rushes to Helene, throws all the boards aside, turns the body of the unconscious girl, and claps her slightly on the face with his hands, seeing tracks of bruises and wounds and soot. And seeing that she does not react to his actions, the man puts two fingers on the curve of her neck, feeling very, very weak pushes at some moment. Then he exhales with relief, gets up on his feet, takes Marshall carefully in his arms, and rushes to carry her out of the room. After he tried to memorize the way he came here on, Hartley leaves this place with varying success, gets down to the second floor, and then ends up on the first one. Luckily, he finds the reserved exit placed on the other side of the house and ends up outside through the one.       And when he goes a few steps away from the house, Elijah hears the powerful, deafening explosion happen at some moment behind him, which causes a shock wave. Barely keeping his balance, he turns around and sees that literally the whole house is burning fast in the fire that gets two or even three times stronger. Shaking at the thought that he could have died as well as Helene if he had slowed down and had not managed to get out, Hartley starts getting out of here much faster and comes to his car, which is parked at some distance from this place.       Not wasting time, Elijah opens the car with his key, puts the unconscious Helene quickly on the backseat, covers her with a blanket that he finds, sits in the driver’s seat, starts the motor, and rushes to go on the road. He is going to drive the girl to the hospital immediately so the doctors can help her come to herself after the carbon monoxide poisoning, treat her wounds, and work on her physical exhaustion, which is the reason why the pale girl looks like a bag of bones.       

***

      “Anyway, I advise you to lie in bed and have a rest,” Elijah insists. “I can give you a book or something else so you don’t feel bored.”       “Thanks, I’ve already found something to read,” Helene replies shyly and smiles slightly. “Do you really read such interesting books? Or do you have them here as a decoration?”       “Nope, I read them. I have the best ones in a visible place and hide those I don’t like.”       “Really interesting detectives, I got busy reading them.”       “Take any books you like. And if you want, I can find an electronic book. There are many more similar stories.”       “It would be great. I love reading something, but I’ve never had time to do it.”       “Use the moment, then. I have a lot of books – so, you won’t have to feel bored.”       “If I’d had a chance to read a book at that house, I guess my time wouldn’t have been so terrible.”       “Don’t worry, Helene, you will no longer have to be there.”       Elijah continues to sort out the purchases, while Helene comes close to the table in front of the window and sits on the table, folding her hands on one.       “Your sufferings are over once and forever.”       “So, are Marcus and the others arrested now?” Helene specifies hesitantly.       “Yes, they’ve been since that day.”       “The report on a TV said it. They said he ended up in a hospital after he felt bad.”       “I know. But after he gets well, he will be taken to the detention facility, where he is going to wait for the sentence, as well as all these idiots.”       “I hope he will pay for all the bad things he’s done.” Helene coughs quietly. “That man has done too many things. He’s given pain to many people.”       “Of course, he will, don’t worry! Marcus is about to get a life sentence or actually be executed. All his crimes make people horrified due to their cruelty.”       “You’re right. When I read about some of them, I had my hair standing.”       “He’s really been free for too long. It’s time for that cad to pay for everything. You can’t run away from the justice forever and pretend to be innocent, sweet, and fluffy, as all his neighbors, friends, and familiars thought.”       “His appearance can’t say he’s nice. His face shows everything clearly.”       “Gotta agree.”       Elijah puts a couple of empty packets aside after taking all the purchases and keeps sorting out two more.       “I imagine his face if he knew you stayed alive. Marcus is still sure you’re dead. He got what he wanted.”       “Ah, I can’t believe it, either…” Helene sighs heavily. “Can’t believe I’m here… When the fire caught me in the trap, I seriously started to say goodbye to everyone and ask them for forgiveness for my bad tricks. I thought I’d die. But then… I opened my eyes and found out that I was in the hospital… The young nurse said I choked on the carbon monoxide and had exhaustion, burns, and wounds. But she jabbed so fast that I barely understood everything.”       “And shouted when you saw me,” Elijah smiles shyly. “You wanted to jump outta the bed sharply and run, but I barely held you down.”       “Do you think I should’ve hugged you tightly and kissed you with words of thankfulness?”       “I didn’t even dream about it.”       “Sorry, Elijah, but it was impossible, knowing that you were one of Marcus’s accomplices.” Helene coughs quietly. “Who tortured me with starvation, kept me in the cold room where there were so many living creatures… And raped me.”       “I didn’t rape you,” Elijah says confidently. “I swear. Yes, those idiots didn’t miss a chance to get an orgasm, but I held myself down.”       “How do I know you don’t lie to me?”       “Trust me.”       “Who knows what was happening when I was unconscious. You all used me at these moments.”       “No, Helene, I swear on anything you want that I did not rape you even once.”       Elijah puts aside the third packet and turns on Helene.       “Yes, I won’t deny that I felt you up a little. But I did it to make those freaks get rid of me. They insisted so hard that I joined them and tried to dare me. But I didn’t want to do it and did my best to avoid it. I even lied about the prostitutes that I hired yesterday.”       “Really?” Helene pronounces with mistrust, frowning slightly. “You didn’t really do it?”       “My word! I never had my penis in you.”       “Sorry, but I don't believe you.” Helene swallows nervously. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Marcus had joined you and fucked me as hell, too.”       “No, Marcus didn’t touch you, either. He does actually prefer to watch, not to do. At least over the past years. He’s an old enough man and has a lot of illnesses… The man’s power is not the one he had before.”       “I dunno…”       “I completely understand your mistrust toward me. I know why you’re still so tense and a little scared.”       “Can’t deny it…” Helene glances aside. “I’m still afraid of you. I’m afraid that you can hurt me and do something terrible.”       “Do you think I would’ve saved you if I’d wished you all the worst and dreamed of your death?”       “I don’t know what you’ve got on your mind.”       “Don’t worry, Helene, I’m not an enemy to you now,” Elijah assures. “Of course, I don’t insist on friendship with you, but if you want, we can get along.”       “Answer one question, please.”       “Which?”       “Why did you save me?” Helene moves her eyes to Elijah. “Why didn’t you let me die? You had a chance not to do this, but you preferred to do something different. To go against Marcus, I would say.”       “I just couldn’t let you die,” Elijah replies quietly, takes the last purchases from the past, puts all of this in the refrigerator, puts it aside, comes to the table, and sits down in front of Helene. “I felt sorry for you. You seemed like a good girl to me. Who shouldn’t have died because of the demons of the old bastard.”       “It’s kinda strange, you know. You were so cold and heartless toward me, as well as the others. But then you suddenly changed.”       “But I guess you understood everything was a little different. Since you begged me for help so desperately, saying I didn’t look like so horrifying and could be kind and fair.”       “Right,” Helene cracks a slight smile. “I feared you less than the others. You didn’t spread such a serious threat, unlike the others. I was especially afraid of the one who tried to drown me… Luther, I think…”       “Agree, he’s a nasty man. And his father was literally a worse bastard than Marcus himself. He literally terrorized the lover he lived with. He beat her, insulted, humiliated, and raped her all the time… He terrified her so much that she was afraid to leave him. That man promised to break her neck and stab all her relatives if she dared to do something.”       “It’s awful…”       “And the others have their own demons. And their fathers aren’t holy. Someone is still alive, someone died of natural causes, and someone was murdered in some fights.”       “Marcus would’ve hardly befriended decent people.”       “But my father was literally holy, unlike them. Even though he wasn’t an angel, either.”       “Weren’t you afraid to go against Marcus like this?” Helene asks hesitantly. “You should’ve known he’d eat you alive if he knew about your betrayal.”       “Oh, do you think I was happy to run after him like a dog and do anything he wanted?” Elijah sighs tiredly. “Marcus is sick! He went crazy over his wife! Yes, I understand that he’s suffering, but it’s been so many years. It’s time to let it go and move on. But no, all these years, Marcus lived with the thought of taking revenge on the one who allegedly killed Julia.”       “You mean revenge on Peter?”       “Exactly.”       “But how’s Peter connected with Marcus and his wife? Why did that man think that he had to do with the death of Julia?”       “Marcus is a father of Peter. And Julia is his real mother.”       “Come on?” Helene opens her eyes widely. “Peter? Marcus’ son?”       “Yes.”       “The son of the bloodthirsty killer known in the entire country after he killed more than two hundred people in the 90s and hasn’t been punished for that yet?”       “It’s correct.”       “My God…” Helene shakes her head with mistrust with an open mouth. “But how? How is it possible?”       “Easy! Julia found out that she was pregnant, and Marcus wasn’t happy with this piece of news, but decided to accept it for his love for his wife and thought he’d get used to the child. But sadly, the woman died the next day after she gave birth to a healthy son. As it turned out, the childbirth was risky for her due to the aneurysm, but she decided to do it for her wish to have a child. And her husband didn’t know it before. But when he found it out, he started to blame the child for everything, not her.”       “Wait! Why do you talk about Julia as the mother of Peter?” Helene coughs quietly. “He said the name of his mother was Cornelia! Or is my mental health too bad after everything I've gone through? I forgot everything and understood it all wrong?”       “No, no, you’re absolutely right. But Cornelia is actually nobody to him.”       “Nobody?”       “She just raised Peter when one of those, to whom Marcus sold his son, gave him to her.”       “What?” Helene opens her eyes widely. “Sold his son? Marcus?”       “They offered a lot of money for selling his son to someone who planned to give him to slavery abroad. And he agreed immediately.”       “It’s awful… To sell your child… It’s some kind of wildness! It’s like marrying a girl to the one she has never met before by force!”       “That boy was very sympathetic when he was born, and the familiar of Marcus, who was a child trafficker, liked him immediately.”       “It means… If Peter hadn’t been lucky, he could’ve become a slave of a family and done any dirty work?”       “Sort of. But he was lucky to meet Cornelia, who agreed to take care of the child. She got the documents for adoption, changed the boy’s name, and became his adopted mother.”       “Changed his name? His name was different?”       “Theodore Longbottom. This is the birth name Peter got. I mean, Julian wanted to name him like this. And Marcus fulfilled her wish and registered his son under this name.”       “And how long did Peter live with Marcus after Julia’s death?”       “Like one year. Marcus bit the bullet, but he tried to become a good father for Peter honestly. But… Alas, his love for his wife was stronger. Just like the thought that her death happened because of his own son.”       “My God, it’s awful…” Helene horrifies as she shakes her head. “I’m shocked…”       “I also don’t understand how he could blame Peter for everything. The child was guilty of nothing. Not guilty of being born. Not guilty of his father going crazy and not even trying to get rid of the wish to get rid of him or even kill him.”       “Does it mean Peter was in great danger all his life but didn’t even know it?”       “Nope, Peter was kind of safe thanks to the name change. Marcus knew nothing about him for several years and thought his son was dead or far from here.”       “He knew about Cornelia?”       “He didn’t do for the time being. And he learned about Peter thanks to his band, with which he went on the tour. They were kind of invited by the famous guys.”       “That’s why…”       “At first, Marcus wasn’t sure, but he got more and more suspicious and started to get deeper. And when he met Cornelia, who had become an incorrigible alcoholic and told him everything about Peter: about how she met him, how her husband Jeffrey left her because of him, how that guy ruined her life, how she hated him and cursed him, how mad she was that he didn’t help her with money. Like, he was a thankless pig, whom she gave herself.”       “And then he started to haunt Peter?”       “Yes. He was obsessed with a wish to take revenge and couldn’t literally sleep, knowing that his son was alive and was somewhere near. Marcus called out all his familiars, who agreed to do what he wanted. Someone did it for money, and someone just made a tribute to their parents, with whom they got along.”       “And since Peter started to perform with the band somewhere two or three years ago, does it mean Marcus tried to kill him for a long time?”       “And every attempt failed. Someone saved Peter, he got away from it somehow, or he was just madly lucky.”       “He never told the guys and me about it.” Helene coughs quietly. “At least, I know nothing. And the men didn’t say anything about it.”       “I can’t say anything about it. But Marcus tried to harm him in all possible ways! His people tried to spit acid over him, walk aggressive dogs for him, even tried to shoot him secretly… There were even attempts to poison him with something by getting on the arenas where he performed, but the security prevented these attempts immediately. And Peter survived even after the purposeful infection of his blood when he was in the hospital after his suicide attempt.”       “I remember you dropped hints on that.”       “It’s true. Marcus persuaded his familiar doctor, who had just recently gotten a job there, to do it, and he agreed. And that guy eventually paid for it by being suspended from work. As we know, Peter was very close to death, but he magically survived. Though the infection in his blood was very strong.”       “Does it mean his doctor knew everything? He knew it but said nothing?”       “Most likely. Who knows why nobody informed you, Peter, and his friends about it.”       “Whoa…” Helene shakes her head in mistrust. “The danger was near all the time, but we knew nothing about it. Peter told us nothing. He didn’t tell us about all those attempts of attacks.”       “He didn’t even know about the bigger part of them.”       “Okay…” Helene pronounces thoughtfully. “But how did Marcus know about the men and me?”       “It wasn’t hard to learn about the mem. Not only thanks to the band but also thanks to the fame of Terrence MacClife. Those who walk around him are examined very closely. And long chases also had to do with it. You know about them well because Marcus’ people watched you all the time.”       “Sometimes I had a feeling that someone was watching me. But when I looked around, I saw nobody. It was scared. And I felt terribly afraid when Marcus’ people showed up out of nowhere and threatened me with words or a knife.”       “I’m really sorry about it…” Elijah apologizes shyly. “I’m really very sorry about what happened.”       “I’ve understood that Marcus wanted to harm Peter by harming me.”       “He decided that you were a perfect candidate for the role of the victim. Besides, you’re dating Peter. He loves you, you love him. Marcus quickly understood that he would make Rose go crazy if he used you for it.”       “If I had had to get through all those tortures for two more weeks, I would’ve preferred to die,” Helene replies thoughtfully, locking tightly her hands folded on the table. “It was the worst time in my life that I never wanna get through again.”       “You won’t believe me, but the guys didn’t wanna hurt you at all. I mean, they didn’t care about you at all. They didn’t care about Peter, they didn’t care about his friends. They didn’t even dare to mention Marcus. Do you think they had so much pleasure from doing anything he wanted and jumping around him like dogs?”       “Yeah, but they went to rape me immediately. They ran as fast as the wind! Everything itched in the bottom!”       “Marcus told them! He told them to come to you and rape you. The guys tried to make him sure that it was too much, but he didn’t listen. Longbottom wanted your pastime there to be a real hell.”       “It was much worse than hell.”       “The guys agreed just to feel you up or kiss you. But they thought that spreading your legs and getting the penis into you crossed all the lines.”       “Yeah?” Helene pronounces with mistrust. “You all said many times that Marcus gifted you to me! You were happily ready to use his gift! They spent a lot of time persuading him to let them do anything to me!”       “The talk was about just feeling you up and kissing you.” Elijah glances aside for a second and exhales sharply. “Okay, maybe Luther really wanted to fuck you. He wanted it since the day he tried to drown you. He gave filthy comments about you all the time: cool boobs, tough ass, or something else.”       “Even if it’s so, none of these men actually minded all of that.”       “These idiots were just hungry for ladies’ attention. They didn’t fuck and didn’t meet girls for nobody the hell knows how long. They tried to fight it, but the instincts did win. And at the end of this shit, the men didn’t resist the perspective to become rappers too hard.”       “I’m glad I was unconscious for most of the time during these moments and didn’t know what was happening.” Helene coughs quietly. “I would hardly forget it all and let it go. The severe pain in my abdomen reminded me of what happened.”       “You’re gonna need a lot of time to come to yourself. You’re still shocked and can’t calm down. The fact that you’re talking about it quietly may be the protective reaction of your organism. But one day, you will probably freak out.”       “You’re right. Nightmares still bother me. I can’t sleep quietly. And I still see something all the time. Marcus or his friends watching me. Something alive creeping on me. Someone coming and harassing me again. Though I feel better and better every day.”       “If it’s too hard for you, I can give you one good sedative so that you sleep as tight as a baby.”       “It will hardly save me from bad dreams, in which Peter comes to me as an evil and heartless man, and Marcus and his friends try to kill me again and again. In which I see Daniel, Edward, and Terrence. Who try to kill me, too. And the girls… All of them…”       “Time heals, Helene,” Elijah says softly, clapping Helene on her hand. “You will forget everything little by little. You will overcome all the stages of the acceptance of the situation and find the strength to move on.”       “I never thought I’d be one of the victims of rape, whom people talk about so much,” Helene sighs heavily. “While one friend of mine was saved in time from it, I could not help myself.”       “You’re a stunning girl. Young, with an attractive body… No wonder the guys lost their minds and wanted you. Raping wasn’t a torture for them. They had pleasure. They had pleasure from fucking the cutie, not an ugly freak.”       “That’s why I don’t believe you didn’t try to do it, either.”       “No, Helene, I’ve told you that I didn’t go further than caressing. Yes, I touched the forbidden areas, I admit it. But I didn’t get my penis out of my pants. My word!”       “Your girlfriend would hardly love it.”       “I don’t have a girlfriend,” Elijah smiles shyly. “I’m gonna tell you more, I’m divorced.”       “Divorced? You were married?”       “I was. When I was a young guy. I was just eighteen when I married my girlfriend. I mean, I was forced by some events.”       “What do you mean?” Helene frowns slightly.       “That one said she was pregnant with me one beautiful day. And she gave me a pregnancy test with two strips and a document from the doctor. And I realized I was in great trouble. Moreover, we slept some time before it happened. Our parents found that out and insisted that we get married. She was happy, and I agreed. Still… Since I could get it in and couldn’t get it out in time, I should’ve taken responsibility.”       “That’s how…”       “We were getting ready super fast because my girlfriend didn’t wanna get married with a big belly. So, we got married a little time later, inviting our close people and relatives. She insisted on a luxury ceremony, but I protested and refused it categorically. Of course, the girl was a little mad, cried, and blamed her hormones and pregnancy for it, but she agreed in the end. Moreover, our parents stood by my side in this case.”       “And where’s your ex-wife now?”       “I dunno. I don’t talk to her after the divorce.”       “But why did you get a divorce? Do you help her with the child?”       “She lied to me,” Elijah states. “As it turned out, the girl was never pregnant and did it all to make me marry her. Her friend helped her fake the test, and her familiar doctor gave her a fake document about her pregnancy after she had persuaded her for a long time. Though she planned to pretend to have a miscarriage some time later.”       “Wow, what a twist…” Helene surprises truly.       “I found it out accidentally when I came back home from work earlier than usual and heard her talking with her friend who was at our home. They were talking about it. And at some moment, I stopped them and told her to explain everything. At first, the girl denied everything, but then she confessed to it. I could not stand this lie and told her to take her stuff and get out to hell. And the next day, I went to file for divorce personally.”       “And how long were you married?”       “It wasn’t even six months! Though I started to have a little doubt in the second month of marriage because her body didn’t change at all, and she didn’t have any weird habits. She always felt great and looked good. But I tried to tell myself to forget it all since I didn’t know what the pregnancy was like. Though I didn’t know it. The only thing I knew about it was the fact that it could happen after sex. If a stamen and a pistil meet, it leads to something like this.”       “You divorced with no problems?”       “My ex-wife refuses to divorce me, but one week later, she agreed to sign the documents. She understood I wasn’t gonna live with her. Since we didn’t have children and joint property, our divorce didn’t end in one or two years.”       “And did you date someone after that?”       “Of course, I had a relationship, but I didn’t propose to anyone. Now I’m not so categorical about a marriage, but I swore I’d never get married again back then.”       “How old are you now?”       “I’m thirty-one.”       “I see.”       “I have girlfriends sometimes. But I’m currently single.”       “Your parents are probably worried that you don’t date anyone.”       “There’s nobody to worry! My father and mother have been dead for ages.”       “Oh, I’m sorry…” Helene pronounces hesitantly, glancing aside. “I didn’t know…”       “It’s okay. It’s been many years since their death. At first, my mother died due to the prolonged illness, and then my father got sick and died.”       “Don’t you feel sad alone? You probably want some warmth, comfort… Care…”       “Honestly, I’m a lone wolf for life. An introvert. I’ve never aimed to be in the party of the company and always preferred to be on my own. Though I try to hide it. Our society is extraverted and can easily eat someone like me. So, I have to pretend to be the one I am not. Though it’s not so hard for me since I’m not a sociopath and don’t fear people. I just feel better when I spend time alone.”       “And do you feel good?”       “Yup, I see no problem with it. And I don’t suffer that I don’t have friends. I really hate loud parties and feel bad in big and unfamiliar companies. I prefer to sit at home, turn on a TV, and watch something from sports, a movie, or a show after cooking something to eat.”       “So, aren’t all the accomplices of Marcus your friends?”       “Oh, are you kidding me? What kind of friends! They aren’t too close to each other and are just united by the same tasks, and I have nothing in common with them.’       “Is it something like your workmates with whom you have to talk?”       “Sort of. I got along with them well, but I didn’t consider any of them my friends.”       “And do you treat Marcus well?” Helene opens her eyes widely.       “And I cannot stand Marcus.”       “That’s how?” Helene coughs quietly. “But he called you his right hand!”       “Yeah, but I am freaking tired of his tricks! His pathological need to watch people suffer, torture, and feel pain scares me to death. I am horrified by the fact that he wanted to kill his own child.”       “Do you know something about his former crimes?”       “Many things. The others can also tell everything about Marcus. They and their fathers helped in some of his crimes. My father participated in some of them, too, and covered him. That old bastard has done a lot… He’d ruined the lives of many people. They say it’s two or three hundred people, but the number is actually much more shocking.”       “Did he keep killing people even after the wave of murders in the 90s was gone?”       “Yes, he did. He did it rarely, but a thirst for blood let him know about it. Again, he did it clearly and left no tracks. The police don’t even guess that he did it.”       “Does it mean you all know where he hid the corpses of his victims?”       “At least, some part of it.”       “My God, even a life sentence would be a too soft punishment for that man! He must be executed! He deserves to burn in hell for everything he has done.”       “I want it, too. I want to see Marcus get through the same torture that he put under those unlucky people, among whom were some of my close ones.”       “He deprived you of your close people?”       “Yes. They were mostly friends. But I could barely accept the death of my childhood friend.”       “Childhood friend?”       “We knew each other literally since we were born: we played in the sandbox, jumped, ran, fooled, shared gifts, even played a funny wedding by making rings of paper. She was my closest person with whom I wasn’t afraid to be me. And when her mother went to our home with tears and said my friend was killed, I was deeply shocked.”       “How long was she?”       “Just nine.”       “Such a baby…”       “The shock was the reason why I couldn’t talk and was in my room for several days. I didn’t wanna eat, didn’t wanna drink, didn’t wanna play… My mother and I went to the psychologist, who brought me to life after several sessions. Though I haven’t yet accepted the death of my friend. I often view our photos and recall the time when we spent hours coming up with games and running after each other. And I think about how she’d look if she were alive.”       “She was beautiful?”       “Yup. Very sweet and sympathetic girl. Kind, funny, flighty, initiative, active… She was never pessimistic! She could find something positive about everything! I would’ve probably fallen in love with her if she hadn’t died.”       “I’m truly sorry about your friend,” Helene replies softly. “I’m very sorry for your loss.”       “It’s the reason why I hate Marcus to death and will call him a murderer until the end of my life.”       “He knows he killed your friend?”       “Nope, I never told him that. And I’m gonna be honest, I was waiting for the moment to take revenge on him. Yes, I wanted him to pay for what he did. I could not accept the fact that he did anything he wanted and remained unpunished. Though I didn’t know how to do it. Starting a fight would’ve been a huge risk ‘cause I could’ve died, but I didn’t have any plan of revenge until today.”       “I think you ruined all his plans by helping me stay alive,” Helene cracks a slight smile. “He would be terribly mad if he knew it.”       “Since I could save someone's life, I couldn’t miss this chance.”       “I’m surprised that you got through that fiery fire. I was like in a trap with no way out. I thought I was doomed.”       “I used the experience from working as a lifeguard.”       “You work as a lifeguard?”       “I did. For several years. I left the job a long time ago, but I still have some skills.”       “I see.”       “Now I work at home and decide how much I want to spend time on it and when. I choose something from the list of orders and work on it quietly by myself on my laptop with a cup of coffee and a movie playing in the background. A perfect way to earn money for an introvert like me. To be honest, working in companies stresses me a lot.”       “Anyway, I’m madly grateful to you for saving my life.”       “I definitely feel much better after doing a good thing.”       “Really, Elijah, thank you so much,” Helene smiles shyly. “I can’t trust you completely, but I was sure I could count on you.”       “Why I wouldn’t help such a sympathetic and sweet girl,” Elijah shrugs.       Helene moves her eyes down with a shy smile, while a slight blush shows up on her cheeks.       “Excuse me, how long will I have to be here?” Helene asks. “When will I be able to come back home?”       “I’m sorry, but it’s impossible now,” Elijah upsets. “You need to wait for some time.”       “The guys are probably going crazy from grief, thinking I’m dead. Peter is fretting and fuming, and my grandma is about to get hysterical. And Sammy…”       “Don’t worry, Helene, you will meet all of them soon. I’m not going to hold you here forever.”       “I miss everyone so badly,” Helene confesses with pity in her eyes. “I wanna meet them so badly. My girls, the men… My doggy… How’s he doing there without me? My heart bleeds at the thought that my boy is suffering.”       “Wait for a while.”       “But all the accomplices of Marcus are arrested!” Helene coughs quietly. “And he's been arrested! Since you say they don’t care about me, does it make sense to stay here?”       “I know, but you'd better stay here for safety. And you need to come to yourself after what happened. The doctor prescribed you a full rest and no worries.”       “I can’t be quiet when I know my close people consider me dead.”       “As far as I know, the police are just investigating at the house where you were kept. I mean, what’s left of it.”       “They’re probably turning themselves on my funerals.”       “To arrange your funeral, they have to find your body or your remains. But they will find nothing because you are not there. I carried you out a few seconds before Marcus’s accomplices activated the bomb that destroyed everything.”       “Okay, and how long will I have to be here?”       “I don’t know yet. At least until Marcus is released from the hospital and put in jail. And as far as I know, he is still in the hospital.”       “And when will he be released?”       “Who knows!”       “Oh, gosh…” Helene sighs tiredly, running her hands over her face.       “I’m doing this for your best,” Elijah smiles shyly. “We need to make sure nothing threatens you, and these freaks can’t find a way to escape the prison.”       “Yeah, but you aren’t also happy to live with a strange person in your own home.”       “Don’t worry about it. You can stay in this apartment for as long as you need. Feel like at home and take anything you need. I bought something to eat and the cure the doctor prescribed to you. Cook something tasty. You need to feed well to have your body come back to normal again.”       “What if the police come here and arrest you, blaming you for holding me here?”       “I’m on the hook of them,” Elijah laughs. “They should arrest me, too, as well as the other accomplices of Marcus. But I’m hiding so far. And have other problems: my sin is that I regularly violate the traffic rules. That’s why I get penalties all the time. Of course, I pay them little by little, but I have too many of them.”       “I see…”       “There was a case when I was deprived of my car and driver’s license due to a very serious thing, and got a huge penalty. It was hard, but I managed to bring back this and that some time later.”       “And aren’t you afraid to drive in the city with unpaid penalties like this?”       “I would say so!”       “You’re gonna have problems if you’re caught and arrested. Paying a penalty won’t be enough.”       “I know. But first, I need to do some business. Now I can’t go to the person.”       “Do you understand you will be arrested early or late?”       “I do. And I am ready for that.”       “As far as I remember, the police know the owner of the car, in which I was taken away on the day of the kidnapping.”       “It’s me. And I know it.”       “And do you drive in the city so quietly?”       “Not quite quietly. I look around all the time and make sure nobody chases me.”       “You’re weird, Elijah, very strange…”       “The police are looking for me in the place where I’m officially registered, but I show up there one or two times per year in the best case.”       “What do you mean? Aren’t you registered here?”       “Nope. It’s not my apartment. I’m registered in another. There is also an apartment of my parents, but my brother, his wife, and two children are living there.”       “But they have the information about all of this! They have the information about all your apartments and cars!”       “I have just one car, but something broke, and I don’t have time to repair it. So, I use the car of my brother who borrowed it to me. He’s a dude with a lot of money and owns several cars and several apartments.”       “So, are you sure the police will not come here? Will they not know you’re here?”       “This apartment is actually registered for my brother.”       “Does your brother know about all your tricks and cover you?”       “Yes, he knows everything. It happened that Nolan and I didn’t talk for several years after a big fight. We didn’t unite even by the funerals of our mother and father. He arrived, but we didn’t even look at each other. And somewhere two years ago, we met, greeted, decided to go to the café, and didn’t notice that we got busy with a talk. By that moment, all the offences were gone, and we forgave each other.”       “I see.”       “When Marcus wanted to get rid of you, and I tried not to let it happen, my brother participated in my plan a lot. Nolan suggested that I use his car and one of the apartments so nobody could find you and me in case I wanted to hide you.”       “Did he agree to do it so easily?”       “Yes, I just asked him for advice, but he decided to help. I was like, I wanted to do a good thing and save the girl. By the way, he didn’t like the fact that our father was so close to Marcus and always closed his eyes to his tricks. Nolan despised Longbottom and didn’t understand what Father could find about him and why he went the wrong way. He didn’t understand why I started to help him with everything.”       “It was your wish or your father’s wish?”       “Mine. I looked at him and thought all his actions were fine. Even when he beat me with a belt for not listening to him, I didn’t think it was wild. I thought it was my fault. I was guilty. I didn’t expect my parents’ expectations.”       “And your brother?”       “He was never holy, either. He did a lot of bad things. But Nolan suddenly changed after he got married to a good girl. And after the birth of a son and a daughter, I could barely recognize him. He works a lot, earns money in an honest way, and travels to warm places with his family regularly… In short, he became an exemplary family man, for whom a family means a lot.”       “And you? What made you stand in the right way?”       “The thought about wasting my time by servicing the old, sick bastard, whose mind left the border of the stratosphere. I just asked myself once about the good things I had done in my life, and I realized that I had done nothing. And I decided that I needed to change something. I needed to take control of everything and live as I wanted.”       “Do you really regret your mistakes?”       “Yes,” Elijah pronounces with sadness in his eyes. “I would fix many things if I could come back to the past. First of all, I would stop acting like Marcus’ actions were normal. I closed my eyes to everything he was doing for several years. I tried so hard to become the replacement of my father, who was his close friend. I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted him to value and praise me.”       “You had a bad relationship with him?”       “Nope, it’s not so bad. I don’t think about him with anger. Vice versa, I am even grateful to him. Grateful to him for teaching me to be strong. Not to break down. To pay for what I do. Though I can’t deny that there’s something I still can’t forgive him for. And my brother didn’t talk to him until he died. He even confessed that he didn’t want to go to his funeral at first. The problem wasn’t me, it was Father. But his wife and children convinced him to do it. Like, it’s not the time to think about the offences.”       “That’s good you learned to differentiate good things from bad.” Helene coughs quietly. “You blindly stopped to do what your father did with the thought that there was nothing criminal about it.”       “Yeah, but it’s too late to regret now. If I just show up at the police station, they are gonna have me arrested. And then the judge will give me a great sentence, after serving which I’m gonna be an old man.”       “I don’t exclude that you may get a shorter one if you confess everything. And you didn’t commit such terrible crimes.”       “Anyway, I’m ready to pay the price I should pay,” Elijah states determinedly. “At least, I did the mission I had – I saved you from death. And I am happy with you already.”       “It’s gonna be good for you.”       “Anyway, if something happens to me… If the police have me arrested while I walk somewhere in the city… If they come here… My older brother will take care of you. Nolan knows the situation well and can help. I gave him instructions and told him what to do just in case.”       “But still, I hope I’ll come back home and calm down the guys by that time.”       “We will see it. Now stay here. Have a rest, come to yourself, eliminate a cold, do something… Use the chance to relax. You probably didn’t have any time to have a break.”       “Partly, yes. My job took my energy out, my friends needed attention, my dog wanted to walk with me, my boyfriend invited me on a date, and my grandmother couldn’t be forgotten.”       “It’s life,” Elijah shrugs. “We always move and get busy with something.”       “I think they’ve already fired me for not showing up at my work. And I’ll have to find a job after I leave this place.”       “I’m sure they’ll understand everything if you explain the reasons.”       “Maybe they will. But nobody is gonna wait for me. There are hundreds of candidates for my job.”       “Who are you working with?”       “I’m a research assistant in the Institute of Chemistry and Biology. I’ve been working in my profession for many years.”       “M-m-m, great!”       “My grandmother wanted me to examine the literature at the university, but my grandfather insisted on a profession related to math or physics.” Helene coughs quietly. “But I decided that I wanted to examine the chemistry and biology. I’ve always been interested, and I received the wonderful scores in these lessons.”       “Were you always educated by your grandfather and grandmother?”       “Since my birth. My parents were teens when they rejected me.”       “So, both of them?”       “Yup. Father refused to take responsibility, but Mother gave a damn about me when he left her. After giving birth, she ran away from home, and we’ve known nothing about her since then. And I don’t want it, honestly.”       “I’m sorry.”       “But the irony is that I found it out recently, even though I used to think they were dead: my mother died during childbirth, and my father died a long time before. And not knowing it, I participated in the bullying of the girl who was growing up without her parents and was educated by her grandfather. We all called her a beggar orphan who wore clothes of other people and was really insecure and timid.”       “It’s not a secret for me,” Elijah says quietly. “Marcus and I found out everything about you a long time ago.”       “Even what the others don’t know?”       “Even that.”       Helene says nothing for two seconds and glances aside with a heavy sigh.       “Yeah, you’re right…” Helene confirms. “I did many terrible things that I’m now ashamed of so badly. I’m ashamed of those I hurt. Ashamed of my grandmother and grandfather, who had to get embarrassed because of me and spend a lot of time apologizing to everyone and solving it all.”       “Marcus said some of those who told him about you are still mad at you,” Elijah notices. “And they were happy to dirty you. Especially in the eyes of your close people.”       “I regret not telling the guys all the truth when Peter introduced me to them as his girlfriend.” Helene coughs quietly. “They heard just a part of the story. The girls, who knew everything well, could’ve taken revenge for everything and told them the truth, but they didn’t do it. They haven’t done.”       “Do you mean the girls know everything, but the men don’t?”       “My actions are related to them and many other people. That’s why they know everything about me.”       “But why haven’t you told the men everything?”       “I was afraid they’d turn their backs on me.” Helene swallows nervously, looking at her hands. “They weren’t happy when they heard a part of the story. And if they’d known much more, there could’ve been no talk about the friendship. Just like the relationship with Peter.”       “Do you think he wouldn’t have understood?”       “He would’ve left me if he knew I wasn’t so holy and fluffy. And while Marcus was chasing Peter, I was praying so hard that he told him nothing.”       “He wanted but changed his mind. He thought he had washed his brains enough and made him doubt your loyalty with several messages about your lie, and… The explicit photos that Marcus’s accomplices took.”       “I’m afraid just to imagine what he had on his mind when he viewed those photos. And saw me… Being naked and felt up by a lot of unfamiliar men like a prostitute…”       “He hardly thought about it when Marcus tried to kill you two and your friends. Peter didn’t care about it – he just wanted you to be alive and healthy.”       “I don’t know how I’m gonna look into his eyes when we meet. How I’m gonna excuse myself for him and beg for forgiveness.”       “I don’t think you’ll have to excuse yourself,” Elijah smiles shyly. “If Peter is a smart man, he will understand it all. And his friends will try to reassure him that he was fooled.”       “Who knows, Elijah…” Helen sighs heavily. “But I feel that it’s gonna be a hard talk.”       “Here’s my advice, Helene, be honest with everyone. Tell everyone what you’re hiding. Since you got a chance after they learned the first part of the story, they could give you another. As I understand, you’ve been showing the best side of you: getting along with the girls and getting the trust of the men… And Peter closed his eyes to those things… You’ve given them no reason to doubt your good attitude toward the men and the girls and have been a wonderful friend to them.”       “You think they will understand and forgive me?”       “You do regret. When someone regrets, they deserve to be forgiven.”       “I’m really sorry about everything. I’m sorry about behaving like that. I guess what happened to me is my punishment. The postponed pay for the sufferings I somehow inflicted on people. I lived quietly for many years and didn’t think about it, but then time came.”       “But your prayers for forgiveness were heard. So, here you are, alive and healthy. Isn’t it a reason to fix all your mistakes? Not a reason to start it all again?”       “If I could, I’d ask for forgiveness from everyone I’d ever hurt. The problem with the girls is kinda solved, but there are still many people who may hate me. And suffer from the consequences of my actions.”       “If you have a chance, do it. Don’t sit quietly aside like a coward with the hope that things will get better by themselves.”       “I will not.” Helene coughs quietly. “I will prove that I’ve changed. I will prove that I’m not that mean and nasty girl who never missed a chance to harm someone.”       “Can’t promise everyone’s gonna forgive you immediately. Maybe your friends will be mad at you and ignore you for some time. But someday they will get cold, forgive you, and keep talking to you.”       “I really want it,” Helene smiles shyly. “I’ve been so attracted to these guys, and I don’t wanna lose them. I love them like my brothers and sisters. And I know I can count on them if I have problems.”       “It’s all in your hands, girl. You’re the only one who can fix your mistakes. People must solve their own problems.”       “Yeah…” Helene rubs her forehead. “I think I should really have a good rest while I have a chance. Because when I’m gonna be free, I’ll have many things to do.”       “Did you eat something when I went to the shop?”       “Nope. I was gonna do.”       “I’m glad you have a good appetite. It means you’re getting well.”       “Oh, I was hungry for so long that I’m ready to eat anything and a lot now,” Helene confesses with a slight smile. “At least I finally stopped fainting and suffering from dizziness and stomach pain.”       “Yeah… If I hadn’t given you some food two or three times, you would’ve died.”       “And I’m grateful to you for that.” Helene coughs quietly. “You’re the only one to think of my comfort just a little.”       “Yeah, but I was powerless in most of the cases. I tried to persuade Marcus to keep you in better condition, but he refused categorically.”       “I was so scared and felt so cold at that place. Mosquitoes bit me a lot, cockroaches were everywhere, and mice and rats walked around like at home.”       “Forget it, it’s all in the past now.” Elijah smiles shyly. “There are no rats, cockroaches, or other living creatures in this apartment.”       “After that hell, this apartment is a truly paradisiacal place. With hot water, food, a soft bed… I finally managed to take a shower, wash my head, and wash my clothes I wore for one week. And I saw the light. It was always dark there. Candles didn’t save the situation at all.”       “If you don’t feel comfortable in this robe, I can go to a shop and buy something simple that fits your size.”       “No, no, I really love this robe.” Helene fixes the collar of the bathroom robe slightly that she is wearing. “Although it’s big for me, I can wear it if I tighten the belt.”       “Actually, it’s mine,” Elijah confesses. “Giving you a robe was the best thought I came up with.”       “It’s okay. I’m gonna wear it. And when I’m able to leave, I will put on the clothes I wore.”       “Okay, as you wish.”       Helene says nothing and just smiles shyly. That’s why silence settles in the air for two seconds.       “Alright, let’s think about what to cook from what I bought,” Elijah suggests cheerfully. “Moreover, the time of lunch is getting closer. It’s my time to eat a little.”       “I hope you won’t feel bad about my food,” Helene expresses hope funnily.       “You can’t cook?”       “I can. But common and simple dishes that only take half an hour or one hour to cook. I’ve never spent hours in front of the cooker, coming up with recipes. No wish, no time.”       “I don’t like any delights. The simpler it is, the better it is for me. I’m not a fan of restaurant dishes. Either home food from my childhood or something simple from the delivery.”       “You definitely made me happy.”       Laughing shyly and coughing quietly, Helene gets up from the table first and goes to the kitchen counter, fixing her hair she has brushed in a ponytail on the way. And Elijah follows her to talk about the dish they want to cook for lunch and sort out what he has not put in its place after being busy with the talk with the girl.