True feelings

***

It was hard to see anything outside the window because of some fatigue. But soon his attention was attracted by the TV set, which had the same programs as always. Ah, boring… Just so that the news wouldn’t start to rattle on again with their strange, already somewhat hackneyed topics. Nothing good had happened in the last couple of days, the news was always talking about a maniac that had recently been operating in one of the districts. He kept a close eye on what was being shown on TV, not missing anything. And only when it became clear that nothing threatened his own life, the man took pills and went to the kitchen. Again and again he wanted to call the number he knew, which was fixed right at the top and was in his favorites. But he didn’t want to distract the boy from his work. The man only corresponded with him. And then the message came again. “Hello!” A little perturbed, Kiren picked up his phone. He stared at the message the young man had sent him and remained online, clearly waiting for him to act. Still, he had to reply, no matter how frantically his heart was pounding. “Hello. Haven’t seen you in a while.” “I’ve been helping my grandfather on his property, so I apologize for missing you.” “That’s okay. I’ve been waiting for you.” “What for?” “No reason. Just to talk… I missed you.” A sweet smile flashed across the young man’s face. He was glad to talk to someone he had known for about a few years again. And even though he was a vampire, this boy, he was somewhat scared to be around this man. The strange behavior, the pills… Even though the man was reluctant to tell him that there was something wrong with his head, Sirno tried to just be simply friendly with him. And the blue-haired man didn’t seem to mind that, even if he did express his displeasure on his face when the young man pestered him. But well… Their conversation continued for a while longer, though Kiren was acting a little strange at times. He wasn’t himself on the phone, but he cited fatigue. — Sorry, I’m tired. Feeling a little sick — he lied a little, though it was the truth. He was tired of his own thoughts and how he felt in general. Oh well… I guess. Sirno chuckled with a smile, turning over on the bed, adjusting his headphones, continuing to say something while his relatives could be heard talking in the background as they decided to visit his grandfather as well. Kiren would sometimes listen to what was being said in the background when it was clearly audible, sometimes even interjecting Sirno when he said something. — What’s wrong with you, really? — asked the young man when the man once again asked him with excitement in his voice. — I… I was just listening to the conversations. Yeah. What’s there to talk about, I don’t understand? — It’s just the family discussing domestic matters. No big deal. — Mm-hmm. All right, then. — What are you planning on doing? Kieren thought for a moment. He stared at his phone screen, looked outside, where the evening beauty was already slowly approaching thanks to the sun. — Maybe take a walk. All day all I’ve been doing is sitting at home. What about you? You’re resting, I take it. — to which he got a positive answer. — Well, good luck with your walk. I’ll be waiting for your messages! And the young man ended the conversation. When he heard the beeps, the man leaned back in his chair and exhaled disappointedly. It became somehow dreary on his soul. It was probably because it was over so quickly… But who cared? The most important thing now was that Sirno was with his relatives and trying to help them, despite his own problems. I wanted to spend time alone with the boy, even if he was far away from Kieren’s location. To lie together, to be near him, even just to be near him in his room, or even in the kitchen… And then to come up from behind, to hug him, and rest his head against the whitish head of the boy who had just woken up. But he was afraid to even tell the guy himself. He’s the same monster, just a night shadow. Sirno was exactly the same as Kiren, only sincere and so… Pleasant. Repelling him with his behavior — making himself feel bad after these incidents. What if he turned him down by offering to stay friends? Kiren was very scared, even though he was overwhelmed by very different emotions at times, despite his troubles with his head and the pills that would stabilize him. “Damn it, you’re a grown man that makes a living in creepy ways… Why are you so attached to this… Unfortunate immortal creature? That never happened before… Yes, there were girls, there were instant crushes, but… not like this. Not like this…” — I need to calm down. I wanted to go for a walk, right? Exhaling heavily, the man still gets ready. Tucking his phone and headphones into his back pocket, he steps out of the entryway into the warm street where there weren’t many people. There were a hell of a lot of cars, but what can I do — a lot of people were on their way back from work or even their weekend getaways. What did he care where these people were? They’d had a good vacation anyway, and they were ready to just spend the day in their apartments or houses. Blue hair tied back in a ponytail and big square headphones on his ears, with rock playing at almost full volume to drown out the intrusive thoughts in his head and the noises of the street. And why did he have such a soft spot for this boy? Why was it so hard for him to confess his feelings to him… And he had been hiding his feelings for him for some time now.