The story of one sorcerer

“When I turned 25, I was already used to living alone with a cat. Since then my hair has also changed - it grew long and reached to my lower back, I was very proud of my hair. I never made any friends or a girlfriend, maybe I was just bored or not up to it. After all, I was almost always busy with alchemy, potions and invention. But one day when I was picking mushrooms in the forest, I met the Smurfs again. I tried to catch them but they ran away again. I vowed to catch them. The following days I went out into the forest and searched all the nooks and crannies, but I never found them. I started studying books to learn more about the Smurfs. I even went to France and talked with sorcerers and witches there, I found several books there that mentioned the Smurfs. In one of these books it was written that the Smurfs live in the forests, they live in a village in the middle of the forest, each house in which is in the shape of a mushroom. Then I learned quite a lot about them. It took me about five years to study. Over the years I have changed and not for the better. I started to experience hair loss similar to male pattern baldness. Everything happened too quickly and within a year I had a completely bald top with hair only from ear to ear in the back and sides and a completely bald forehead and crown. It was as if my beautiful hair never existed. Hair grew along the edges of the head but no longer than 10-12 centimeters in length. I also got used to the fact that there were always patches on my clothes, because I never earned enough money, it wasn’t always enough for food, and I also liked to buy new books on alchemy or magic. I have always loved to read, although I did not always have time for it. I usually read sitting at the table in the bedroom or kitchen, leaning on my elbows and propping up my head. And because of this, even my nightgown had patches on the elbows, because when I had insomnia I read. So many years passed, I was very absorbed in what was called the "Philosopher's Stone of Knowledge." But when I turned 55 years old, I found the Smurf again. I remembered my promise to myself - to catch the Smurfs and become a strong and famous sorcerer. I caught the Smurf and took him to my home, I decided to make a philosopher's stone out of him. I gathered the rest of the ingredients and waited for dawn. But at dawn there were almost a hundred Smurfs in my house! All of them were armed, some with forks, some with whatever they could, they came for the Smurf whom I caught. But I was serious and wasn’t going to give it away just like that. The battle has begun. There were too many of them, and in the end I fell and lost consciousness. When I came to my senses they were nowhere to be found. Then I vowed not only to catch them but also to take revenge on them. Thus began another page in my life. Now I had a goal. Nothing can stop a person, much less a sorcerer, who has a goal. I don’t remember how many attempts I made to catch the Smurfs, there were a lot of them. One day I went to the extreme and discovered a new skill in myself - creating homunculi. I found out that all the Smurfs were male and decided to create a Smurf girl from blue clay according to the recipe of a homunculus, a homunculus. I made her and endowed her with all the features of beauty and femininity. But I didn’t take into account one thing: homunculi are often similar to their creators. Therefore, Smurfette (that’s what I called her) came out with a large nose, and with shaggy hair on both sides and sparse hair on the top. After all, when creating it, I used not only a drop of my blood, but also a strand of hair. Then I sewed her clothes from the same scraps that I usually used for patches on my long tunic, and sent her into the forest, giving her a magic mirror so that she could communicate with me. Everything went well right away, but then she went over to the side of the Smurfs. The leader of the Smurfs, Papa Smurf, even changed her appearance, her hair became long and golden and her clothes became more feminine and neat. She became a Smurf, she was no longer a homunculus under my control. The more I tried to catch the Smurfs, the more I learned about them. I learned that they have hidden magic that is inside them. I learned that if you eat a Smurf, you will receive their magic. I also learned that they can be turned into gold. Now my goal has changed a little, I decided to eat them and turn the other part into gold. But I also found out another way to get their magic, it sounded simply incredible, but if you make an invention that drains magic and use it on the Smurfs, you could create a magical elixir, and if you drink 100 drops of this elixir, you can get long life and strong magic . Everything I've ever dreamed of! If I did this, no one would consider me a pitiful old man in rags and a failed sorcerer! One day, as always, I chased the Smurf with Azrael, and he led me by mistake to his village. I was determined to catch them all, but to make my goal a reality I needed all the Smurfs. A group of Smurfs, led by their leader and Smurfette, began to run, they ran to a cave with a waterfall, an unknown force opened a magical portal in the waterfall. The Smurfs were proud and jumped into this portal instead of falling into my hands, I followed them. We all found ourselves in an unknown world, as I later found out it was a portal in time and we found ourselves in 2010, more than 800 years in the future. and I didn’t really like this future, this is not at all how I imagined the future... It so happened that I was stuck 2 years in the future, but I’m a medieval person, so I’m a survivor. And I’m also quite cunning, so I quickly got rich using a small amount of Smurf essence, but I didn’t like the modern world, I was rich but continued to wear my patched rags because they were much closer and more convenient for me than anything of that time. It is also worth noting an interesting fact: that my cat Azrael learned to use modern devices more quickly than I did, although they say cats are smart creatures. But soon the elixir of the Smurfs began to run out, the bottle that I wore around my neck became almost empty, then I took a risky step: I created two Smurf homunculi. But I couldn’t find blue clay and created them from ordinary clay, they were very weak and I had to give them a drop of the Smurfs’ elixir every 3 days. There were two of them, a boy and a girl. To create the girl I used a strand of my hair and to create the boy I used a strand of Azrael's hair. I named them Vexy and Hakus. Since they were smurf homunculi, they could be annoying, but they were homunculi that I raised and in which there was a piece of me, so I even gave Vexy a gold bracelet with sapphires that she wore around her waist. The plan worked and I was able to open a portal to the past, Vexy caught Smurfette and I was able to get more Smurf essence. I don’t remember everything that happened later well, because the Smurfs escaped this time too. I just remember Vexy and Hakus betraying me as Smurfette... And then... I only remember the explosion of the essence of the Smurfs and the fall... Falling from a great height. It seems that I fell straight onto the roof of my house, which softened the fall, but I fell through the roof. But fortunately I remained alive, I survived the fall, but lost my memory then. Therefore, for several years I forgot about traveling to the future and, even worse, I forgot about the essence of the Smurfs, remembering only that they can be made into gold or eaten to get magic. I still had with me the wand with the top of the silver dragon into which I had previously poured the essence of the Smurfs, but then I did not remember borrowing this wand. I put it in my box and hid it in one of the walls of the bedroom where I have a hiding place and forgot about it for a long time... The following years passed as usual: I tried to catch the Smurfs, but each time they escaped in one way or another. But there were several joyful and at the same time sad events that are worth mentioning. First of all, I saw my brother Gurmelin several times. As it turned out, after being expelled from the school of sorcerers and being taken by Aunt Grisella to Paris, he lived an ordinary life, married a childhood friend and even had several children, all of whom were similar to him and me, he also loved to travel the world. Like me, he was poor. But what surprised me then was that he was dressed exactly like me, with the exception of blue slippers and stockings. It was as if we had a long-distance connection. But he still practiced magic a little amateurishly, and so he had a magic harmonica, and when he played it, the birds began to sing along with him. He has changed little over the years, he remains the same kind and sincere, always with a desire to help someone. And although when he found out about my desire to catch the Smurfs, he was not happy, he still tried to help me catch them once, and when he realized that he did not want to do this, he quietly left leaving a note. I saw him a few more times after that but... Soon hard times began - the first Inquisition. And Gurmelin became one of the victims of this merciless beast. He was condemned as a heretic. I will never forgive the inquisitors for this, and when I become a strong sorcerer, I will make the Inquisition cease to exist!.. But even after many years, I still miss my brother. There is a belief that twins always have a strong deep connection and this is true... There were also two more events during these years. A very unexpected event. The first event was this: several Smurfs snuck into my house and stole a page from my notebook, which described the recipe for creating a homunculus - a Smurf using my formula. They also tore a tuft of Azrael's fur and ran away. The result did not take long to arrive and within a few days a Smurf girl with fiery red hair braided in two pigtails appeared on the threshold of my house. I immediately understood that they had created a homunculus and revived him, or rather her. And this Smurf girl screamed that I was her dad! Dad? How can this even happen!? I can’t be a dad to a Smurf homunculus, especially one whom I didn’t create at all! And I’m not ready to be a father for anyone, even if it’s not a Smurf. As I learned, they called this creature Sassette. Quite a fitting name for something like this. The second event was even more annoying: The director of the school of sorcerers where I studied was already an old man and apparently he had completely become senile, and he decided to throw one of the loser students at me, and not just a loser but also a bully. It was a boy, 8 years old. Red-haired, redder than Azrael. Despite my protests, this child was still delivered to my home. His name was Scruple. He treated me with disrespect and ridicule all the time, he reminded me of my own former classmates. I lived with him for 4 years and as soon as he grew up, I put him back in the school of sorcerers, learning a little alchemy and potions. Meanwhile, Balthazar considered it necessary to use me, he hated me with all his might. He had a daughter, Dennis, an orphan on her mother's side, since Balthazar's wife had a short and unhappy life. And to my bad luck, Denniss, like Gruble, was blamed on me, and to even greater misfortune, the girl became friends with the Smurfs. While I was also somewhat surprisingly happy about it, it meant she wouldn't grow up to be like Balthazar."