dark wave.

you were like an ocean breeze in a cold autumn. cold but so soothing. your laugh just like cold strong waves hitting the grey stones under the cliff. your lips just like a setting sun, warm and cozy, but dissapear from me. your voice was like a storm to my fragile little ship. now you hit the rocks and my body with your cold waves. ' i saw you today. you were happy. alone. without me. goddamn im the dumbest person alive. how could i lose you? how could i lose your heart? it leaked through my fingers just like sea foam leaving a small track about it's presence. i couldn't look at you without tears. your always shining face and perfect hair make me weak and upset. I'm running away from you as you wave at me with your friendly smile. i can't handle being your friend. i want you to kiss me on the mouth and love me like a sailor. '– what's my flavor? "sea salt, i love it. and i love you". – i love you too' ' my dad is a sailor. he just got back from his month long journey, and as always he invites me on his fragile little ship. the ocean is mad today. is it because i ran away from you? im sorry, but i can't look you in the eyes. but i love you, im sorry. dad sails the ocean professionally as the professional he is. i think about you all this time. grey sky looks like it's about to cry, me too. i keep my tears back as dad glances at me sometimes. – how have you been, sweetheart? – he asks me. and i can't let my voice crack. "good as always". he responds with a slow nod and i don't need anything else. somewhere deep in the clouds i hear loud thunder. that doesn't scare me, while dad quietly cusses under his breath turning the ship around to the beach. im looking in the depths of the dark ocean waves that slowly start to become more intense. and the house on the beach is so far from us i can barely see it. dad, you're professional aren't you? didn't you look up the forecast? i laugh ironically. and i already resigned myself. im sorry, that it will touch you too, dad. it should've happen only to me. because i love her, and she does not. soon a big dark wave hits our little ship and it crashes into small wooden pieces, taking us underwater. dad, how many times mom told you to buy a bigger ship? im not trying to swim. im going with the wave's deep underwater flow, and it almost sends me to the bottom. but i don't know what happens after. air leaves my lungs and im slowly turning into lifeless piece of flesh. i think they tried to find my body, but it was nowhere near the spot we were crashed on. weeks later your little brother found it in the rocks, as you brang him to look on the ocean that swallowed me up withouth chewing. you know, i saw your tear, don't need to hide it now, i won't say anything about it to you. but i miss you too, im sorry.