Abracadabra pspsps

      Andrew lets out a relieved sigh when he steps out on the balcony, the door separating him from the loud voices. Kevin and Neil have started an argument, and at this point Andrew doesn’t know what it is about, like the rest of the people gathered in Aaron’s home.       The birthday party was Katelyn’s idea, so Kevin naturally got roped into it. Renee gladly joined them in the preparations when she heard about the plan, Jean followed her close behind, and that’s probably how Neil got into it, too.        Andrew and Aaron aren’t big on celebrating their birthday, their childhoods ending too fast for them to learn how to.        But he has to admit that it’s nice to spend some time with people he cares about, even if he’s not big on talking.        Unfortunately, Nicky and his husband couldn’t make it (something about ‘a big clusterfuck’ in Erik’s job), but they called a while ago, Nicky’s voice shrieking ‘Happy birthday!’ right into his ear.       Hearing loss is worth it.       As he lights his cigarette, the door behind him opens and closes, cutting off the laughter from inside. A figure leans on the railing just next to him, their shoulders almost touching.       “This stuff will kill you one day,” Aaron says, grimacing.       Andrew shrugs, puffing out the smoke. “Or maybe it will be a ghost.”        Aaron frowns, not finding it funny at all, apparently. Well, Andrew can’t really blame him, given his few close meetings with death that Aaron was forcing him out of.        Aaron sighs, not commenting any further. They’ve been over the topic of smoking a few times now, and Andrew’s mind hasn’t changed so far. Having an outlet is nice, you know.       “So,” Aaron says, rather awkwardly, “what do you think about all this?” He gestures around.       “Loud,” Andrew replies.       “Yeah.”       The silence stretches between them, with Aaron nervously tapping his fingers on the railing. It’s obvious he wants to say something more, so Andrew lets him gather his thoughts while he finishes his cigarette.       “How are you and your orange problem?” There’s a small smirk on Aaron’s face, the question’s essence covered by a teasing note in his voice.       “Good,” Andrew says, curious where this is going.       Aaron looks at him, as if searching for something. “So… have you bonded?” The question is asked hesitantly.       “No.” Andrew stubs out his cigarette and tries to hide his annoyance. The topic is sensitive, and sometimes it doesn’t let him sleep at night, fueling his spiraling thoughts of ‘what if.’       But his brother doesn’t know about it, and Andrew knows better now than to lash out at him.       Despite his efforts though, Aaron still sees something in Andrew’s demeanor, because he asks, “He refused?” His tone has grown cold.       “No.” Andrew grips the railing to have something to focus on. “I haven’t asked.”        And that’s the bottom of the problem – he wants .       “Why?” Aaron asks, this time looking really surprised. Andrew nearly laughs at the expression.       His brother’s question is one that Andrew asks himself everyday, when his heart and mind fight the never ending battle. Sharing a bond with Neil would be the most amazing thing to ever happen to Andrew, the amount of trust bestowed on him far too great to comprehend fully.       But at the same time, it scares the shit out of him.       Because it would be different than a bond with Kevin. The man needed him back then, so he did what he had to, so that the familiar could survive. Was it done how it’s supposed to? Of course not, but at least Kevin is in one piece now, faring quite well from what Andrew can see.       With Neil, Andrew wants it to be perfect, having learned from his mistakes. Most importantly though, the bon should be created out of their free will.       And how can it happen when Neil is living with him, dependent on Andrew’s help? Not to mention that the familiar is still recovering mentally from the shitshow that was Castle Evermore.       So yeah, now doesn’t seem like a good time.       Will there ever be?         Andrew squashes the stray thought.       Aaron is still looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer that Andrew doesn’t have. When the silence continues, he’s the one to break it. “You know,” he says and pauses, gathering his thoughts, “he’ll say yes.” The conviction in his voice almost makes Andrew believe the words.       Aaron sighs, probably having seen the doubt coloring Andrew’s face. He turns towards Andrew to face him fully.       “Do yourself a favor,” Aaron says, “and stop making yourself miserable.” His eyes, so alike to Andrew’s, gain a softer look now, conceiving the message: ‘You deserve to be happy.’ It's similar to the one Andrew shared with him once when Aaron was hesitant about forming a bond with Kevin, afraid of Andrew’s reaction.  When the door closes behind Aaron, Andrew is left alone to stew in his thoughts that are occupied by a certain blue-eyed troublemaker.