It ' is my life. That are our life.

Part seven. Bouquet for… Supermarket… (Chronicles of poltergeist and poltergeister). The right to sell and be sold. The right to buy and be bought. A. Valentinov, M. and S. Dyachenko, G. L. Oldie, “Pentacle”. I want to build a dacha. Where, that’s the main task. Only the local committee. Doesn’t give an answer yet!… From the works of the poet Pochkin. From the book by A. and B. Strugatsky “Monday begins on Saturday.” Instead of the second epigraph… …Happened in Hollywood: Roses, scarlet, then white and only then red and yellow, mixed in colors and shades, began to appear in armfuls and bouquets on checkout counters, shelves and tables. The world of television has gone crazy, and my polished TV box diligently supported everyone, broadcasting various interviews to me. The cameramen were filming, the TV presenters were discussing and telling stories. I turned off the TV, but I tossed and turned in my chair for a long time, I was too lazy to move to the sofa, so I couldn’t sleep. I got up late, woke up in bed, was dressed in pajamas, socks and slippers, jumped to my feet and found myself, as if with the only weapon, with the control panel in my tightly clenched right hand. I rushed from the bedroom into the room, tripped over the threshold in darkness. “Vasily is joking!” I understood, gradually waking up and gaining the ability to reason. The brownie likes my strong coffee, brewed “Turkish” and “humanly.” The brownie’s affection for the strong drink spread the coffee smells in waves throughout all the rooms of the house, leading me behind you. Vasily is a strange house-elf, he is most likely a “stray.” And he did not stray to the house, but became attached to me… One complicated case and a similar bachelor life gradually made us friends. Vaska lives quietly, easily drags her things along with her from one rented apartment to another, rarely causes harm, and helps to the best of her own understanding about the possible harmfulness of “domestic” forces. A domestic tormentor, he saved me tonight. He covered me with a blanket, turned off the power supply of the TV, turned off the light. And all night then he tried, I understood, Vasily sat over me, watched over me, waved his furry paw and hung strange ones on me — Hollywood and rose-colored, unlike anything else, dreams… — You only now realize how much beer you had last night! — My poor head moaned and ached. My brownie Vasily was sitting on a chair in the kitchen, again solving my problems, looking for an analgin tablet, making coffee for himself and me, and twitching his furry leg displeasedly. I didn’t notice me on principle. I didn’t notice him, and neither did my house-elder Vasily. In the morning, my stomach rebelled strongly. I received such attacks of nausea from it, after which you doubt life in general, your own health in particular. You begin to listen to your body, you sit on a chair, with difficulty, you don’t eat or drink anything, because not a sip or a piece will fit into your throat. And you think, like a stranger, about your own tired liver. “I warned you.” It was written on the brownie’s furry face. Vaska devoured the second sandwich with a satisfied look. I couldn’t see the sausage now! - Get lost! — I answered him. — Lost evil spirits! — Unhurried Vaska went under the table, offended, there, under the table, he rustled with something, then fell silent. The home telephone, confident in itself, beeped persistently and cooingly in short trills. I picked up the phone from him, I didn’t throw the phone on the floor, I didn’t even break the phone. I think because the phone was the owner’s, I signed the tenancy agreement for the safety of the phone. And I didn’t want to be responsible for the damage and damage at all… Therefore, I accepted the call and agreed with the demands of the call. And he sat silently on a chair, realizing the importance of the call he had received, resigning himself to the need to continue living. I poured a portion of cognac from a bottle given to me by a grateful client into the strong coffee that Vasily prepared according to the brownie’s recipe. I just sniffed the smell of coffee and cognac, did not drink, changed the cup, and left the entire coffee pot on the table. And along with it — instructions: — Vasily, don’t get drunk without me and don’t be naughty! Organize dishwashing and wet cleaning of the premises. Take care of your apartment and things, they are expensive, negotiable, and rented. I might return from the mission, I had no doubt about it, but I was tired and sick, so I remained quiet and thoughtful, I knew Vaska was listening to me carefully from the underground. So, I’ll come back (if you can, then you’ll come back — my stomach told me again, under the control of consciousness and no longer subordinate to me), we’ll go for a walk, I’ll take you in my bag and take you to the children’s park, scratch your tails and manes, clean your hooves rental horses in the park’s stables! “The answer was dissatisfied silence, but I noticed that the tablecloth under the table moved. - Water the flowers in the front garden, I forgot to leave instructions! — The quiet and grumpy voice from Vasily caught up with me. I didn’t pay attention, I fumbled with the keys to the front door. And Vaska grumbled. — I can’t water without an order. You’ll wait, master! They will refuse you from home! Where will you look for a new apartment? And so on the edge of the city, it’s almost like we’re living in a dacha! We’re huddled in the very outskirts, there’s nowhere else to go! I arrived at the office. The brains were ventilated by the cold wind, then they moved or shrank and gradually began to become covered with convolutions. It was time to start thinking. I gave myself another, serious, unfulfillable vow in my life — never drink again at corporate parties, even “for brotherhood,” especially with women! And never drink beer alone again! And after an hour of studying the materials about the events faxed to the office, a lot became clear to me. I called customers, witnesses, eyewitnesses, and arranged meetings. Catherine was not at work. And it was so wonderful! My secretary is a girl with a character: Simple, calm, strong, purely Russian. But I don’t like to live in the state of a horse that must and must be stopped in its gallop! And they force you to continue, either to run or to stand rooted to the spot! And, in general, as a boss, I am strict! I don’t welcome the absence of subordinates from work. I decided not to notice Ekaterina’s absenteeism today, if it happens! . I worked without stress or interruptions, gradually getting to grips with the topic. It was three o'clock, but I still did not understand what had happened. Eyewitnesses saw one thing, witnesses pointed to something exactly the opposite. For those who had points of view, they were disturbed, like incorrect viewing angles and planes of intersection. I also didn’t like the lack of conclusions and thoughts in the explanations because it didn’t explain anything... - I’ll have to go to the place. - I explained to myself. - From the office, sitting in it all the time, you won’t understand the situation, and you won’t be able to resolve it, apparently... I arrived at the “University”, arrived quickly, entered through the main entrance and instructed the security guard to report himself to the store management. He looked around, assessing the situation. She turned out to be incomprehensible. Instead of working with customers, during working hours, two women - security guards in the store, as well as a receptionist for a storage room for customers' bags and other bulky items, leafed through and examined the album. And shared their impressions of the photographs. The dogs, photographed by unknown photographers in family photos, behaved lively inside the photographs, wagging their tails, blinking their eyes, trying to bark, but the gloss of the photographs, the frames and the corners fixed in the corners dampened extraneous sounds, so the album with photographs was silent and quiet. To receive and take testimony, I needed direct witnesses to the events, so I securely attached myself to a large shopping cart, which inspired me the most confidence, and went to the trading floor. I walked through aisles of merchandise and past department store shelves lined with things that were so different, then completely different. I saw that the majority of customers are friendly towards the store. . They walk between the goods, carefully choosing purchases. And only the trust of customers saves the enterprise, the entire store, from immediate collapse. However, not everyone discovers the underside of brilliant or pleasant events. I also met informants among buyers: Confused and dissatisfied. A middle-aged woman said: “I walked through the hall, chose a product to buy, noticed the same prices and a row of cheeses identically fused into a cheerful pyramid. I figured out the prices, understood the location, and bought the goods. I checked the receipt at home and was surprised: the overpayment that I didn’t understand amounted to one and a half to three rubles per briquette of cheese! However, this did not affect the quality of the product; my daughter ate the cheesecake. - During the conversation, the customer sheepishly added to me, “I live very close to this “Universal Store.” - The cheeses turned out to be eaten, but I returned to the “Supermarket” and clarified: The price of processed cheese on the label has not changed. I called the saleswoman and began to explain to her. The girl tore two labels from the general price tag on the rack, told me that she would sort it out, then promised to help. She left and walked around the store with the labels for a very long time. She never came back to me! Then events happened like this. I moved with the cart into the depths of the trading floor. Then, returning with the purchases, I again looked for the missing girl - the saleswoman. And I didn’t find it! But I found an elf! Masking the wings that were unnecessary for him in this reality, the elf, or rather the little elf, worked around the counter with products. And I mistook the elf for a person and even asked for help! - Elf - Minchanzingizer! - The elf introduced herself to me unkindly. - We are not in the business of helping people and customers! - The elven princess freed her wings, scarf and crown, blinding me with the radiance of elven jewelry, then fell into a deep and black out-of-store hole, dragging behind her the remains of a rack with unclaimed products from the Elf Corporation. Suddenly I felt dizzy and I was leaning on a shopping cart. A young saleswoman noticed a moment of weakness. She offered to help. I showed her selected places of my shopping adventures, those that I managed to film on my phone, and also told her about the events. We walked through the hall together, looking for the missing saleswoman. My frustrated head was now spinning more. I missed the moment when my companion slipped down or even into the distance along a narrow and black corridor. She was missing! She's gone too! And I escaped, but with great difficulty, using the cart as a counterweight, then I got scared, horrified, trembling, and decided that I would never tell anyone about all this. And I will never come to this store to buy groceries again! I’m afraid that it won’t be long before I get ready to go shopping at the supermarket closest to me, where a “BLACK HOLE” appears, where people disappear so simply and easily! I listened to the frightened customer, said goodbye, walked around the sales floor and realized that my frightened random informant was right. The goods in the General Store lay wherever they wanted. They themselves attracted the most attractive price tags and the most gullible buyers. There was no supervision over the quality of goods, so some select groups (not only buyers, but also goods) cost truly astronomical sums. Conflicts or fights over the best place between goods have not yet been observed. But regular customers quickly left the store. And the formidable name “REASSORTING OF GOODS” was found in the trading floors at every turn. A middle - aged woman, attractive and powerful, caught up with me at a brisk pace. She ordered sternly: “Let’s go.” - We set off together, we walked through the hall together, I followed a middle - aged lady, into the fascinating world of the trading backstage, warehouses and storerooms. We walked further, past the ticket offices. The saleswoman at the cash register, a young girl, slightly angular and very tall, could be attractive and stylish if she became a fashion model. Noved didn’t want to, couldn’t, or didn’t rush into the fashionable world of models. And the girl’s job as an ordinary cashier also failed to become familiar and familiar. She turned to my interlocutor and companion for help: “The package was torn again, an expensive bottle of wine was broken.” The package is also ours, the package was purchased - a new T-shirt. We will, by agreement, replace?... So, my companion suddenly turned out to be not the store administrator, as I initially understood, but the deputy director at the local Branch of the Whole Chain of Supermarkets. She spoke briefly and was strict. I also saw the customer, confused and awkward. She did not expect the misfortune that suddenly happened next to her, she was putting a bottle of wine and other purchases into a new bag that she had bought again in this store, she heard a ringing sound, saw a bright puddle under her feet, stood there, not knowing what to do or say now. And the director asked sternly, without specifically addressing anyone: - What do you think about this? - There was an expectant pause. The confused customer was silent. I thought honestly, and realized that again I did not understand anything. The store's selfless act, returning the cost of an expensive bottle to the customer, broken and spilled alcohol through no fault of hers, was supposed to remove the consistent unreality of the events that have recently often been happening inside the "Universal". But I was still very far from making final conclusions; I compared, had a presentiment, and checked. The cleaning lady broke the tension. She shoved a dirty rag at my feet and growled fiercely: “Can’t you stand in another place?” “One minute,” I answered and moved to a dry place. And I immediately felt that nothing had happened. And it didn’t matter what the lady, the director, who was present next to me would allow now, what she would do. Two oppositely directed actions will mutually destroy each other with a mutually null effect, even if, after prolonging the pause to a reasonable extent and increasingly demonstrating her own power, the deputy director allows the customer to restore, compensate or replace the damaged purchase. So who is the nightmare of those who mistreat customers who unwillingly participate in other people’s small and medium-sized businesses, buying things they need for food or life?... Who is tormenting ordinary people who must be drawn to stores to make purchases, since without consumer participation no business can take place can not? And who, and why, collects free bouquets for customers inside the "Universal" not flowers and not even roses with thorns and thorns, but troubles, failures in the work of the store, mistakes and mis-grading of goods, so that the store becomes dangerous for customers and shopping trips?... And people, gradually, stop going to this grocery store!... Someone else's successful slogan, a verbal parasite, was buzzing and singing inside me, obscuring and pushing inside my own consciousness a successful solution to the problem that would save me from the general and black hole of mediocre entrepreneurship, not only this, but also any other that works poorly, not paying any attention to the needs of ordinary people, ordinary customers. My plan would be useful for a business - a small, medium or very large enterprise. - There you go, just a little bit left. Just a little more and I’ll come up with the right solution! “I thought hurriedly and turned my excited gaze from the cleaning lady to the cashier, then to the deputy director and her customer, stunned, disfigured or dumbfounded, both by unexpected changes of scenery - by the possibilities of applying store - local laws previously unknown to her, and by agreements involved in connection with momentary decisions of employees of the administrative and management level!...