Sunlit oak tree

Today Augustine had a day off, and he and Yum went for a walk to the park for ice cream, which they both loved more than candy or any other sweets. Hume smiled from ear to ear, and Augustine looked at the leaves around, contemplating nature. It was warm spring weather. Augustine, according to established tradition, took Yunna and Yuma for a walk on such days, but today his sister wanted to make a pie with Agnes. Augustine was not very upset about this. Yunna was more attached to Alex and Agnes, and spoke infrequently with Augustine. When they walked together, Hume and Yunna often argued, and Augustine had to separate the two teenagers, saying that they were both wrong. Hume always reminded Augustine of himself in childhood, when that very turning point in life happened, and they lost the benefits of a wealthy family. It’s probably good that Hume was little then, because his soul was still heavy to this day when Augustine recalled in every detail the move to the apartment with Anna and Wilhelm, the return of his mother, the move to Austria for six months and his distraught father. Augustine was sometimes surprised how Hume did not hold a grudge against anyone and could forgive a lot. Agnes considered this a weakness in the character of her younger brother, Alex was understanding, and Augustine was sympathetic. Yunna was not so kind-hearted. She considered Anna and Wilhelm to be real parents and always said that if her father and mother had not been locked up in a mental hospital, she still would not have wanted to keep in touch with them. Augustine and Agnes were silent, because they could hardly do anything about Yunna’s hostility, not to mention explain the situation better to the younger ones. Since Yunna took more cues from Agnes, Augustine was not too worried about their relationship. He attached greater importance to communication with Hume. Hume loved his older brother very much, but Augustine often began to be touched by anxiety that Hume, deep down in his soul, was offended by him for leaving then, without telling him anything, to Munich. But Hume did not hold a grudge against him; on the contrary, he regarded this act as heroic, giving it color. Hume tried to follow his brother’s example in everything, although Augustine did not always understand how exactly the younger wanted to be like him. Augustine was a little confused about himself and his life; he was ashamed of the academy and the fact that he had to leave for Munich, but Hume was fascinated by all the episodes of Augustine’s life. It seemed that Hume had mental color blindness, and he did not see things in the light in which they are; he saw courage and strength in his brother’s actions, while Augustine saw weakness and unwillingness to go against circumstances. Hume was very quiet and thoughtful today; He usually ran around and was extremely emotional, talking about school and about his friends, and Augustine was alarmed by this. Did he have a fight with his friends at school, or did something happen that made him behave differently today? — Yum, are you okay? — Augustine turned to his brother. — Yes, sure. “Hum responded immediately. — Why do you ask? “You’re surprisingly quiet today and not too talkative,” Augustine said, half-jokingly. — Usually you’re different. That’s why I’m asking. — Brother, tell me, would you like me to become just like you? — Augustine turned away from contemplating nature and, frowning, asked what he meant. — Well, I don’t know, for example, that I would join the Hitler Youth just like you. “A shudder ran through Augustine; he didn’t even allow such a thought, let alone even talk about desire. Augustine quickly turned over the options in his head, why Hume could suddenly have such an idea. He gave no reason to admire him — on the contrary, he told his brother very little and in very scanty details and kept silent about a lot of things, realizing what impression this could make on a child in today’s realities of life. “No, of course not, I wouldn’t want that,” Augustine protested. “I would like you to finish school, go to university and do what I couldn’t do in my time,” he searched for words as they sat on a bench by the river, looking at the ducks. — Tell me, what brought you to these thoughts? — Yum shrugged. “And yet these thoughts do not appear out of nowhere. — I don’t know, I always look at those posters that were hung in our school, and I think that I would make a good fighter. I remember the parades we went to. — Augustine smiled sarcastically and leaned towards his brother, patting him on the head. Well, of course, how did he not take into account the fact that the party is now actively promoting its values ​​in all schools? Hume grew up praising the exploits of ancient heroes, extolling the valor of the SS or pilots, and parades made an impression on all children and teenagers. Yes, of course, it was spectacular, but they did not understand that behind the bright scenery there is not always something right. — Yum, you don’t quite understand what you’re talking about. — Augustine was choosing words to more correctly explain what the party’s policy was. Augustine, like other parents in the class, was not enthusiastic about the fact that instead of Latin, children had to learn the rules of survival on campaigns, and instead of mathematics, go to rallies and weed beds in villages, helping peasants. All this entertainment for teenagers was paid for, of course, not by the state, but by their parents. and such pleasures sometimes hit the wallets of even such wealthy people as Augustine, not to mention modestly living families, where children also begged their elders for stamps to buy uniforms. Patriotism and love for the Motherland are, of course, good, but Augustine always saw the other side of the coin. Filled with propaganda, rowdy teenagers often began to measure their strength against each other, proving their superiority to their peers. German society allowed violence — and this permission was not always perceived correctly. The romanticization of military power also applied to girls — statistics showed a sharp increase in teenage pregnancies. Girls on the wave of fashion, justifying themselves by promoting family values, considered it normal to seduce young soldiers. Such youth values ​​moved the whole country. Yes, even at the school where Hume and Yunna studied there were enough conflicts based on state values, which could not please Augustine. He looked at Yume and realized that it would be difficult to convince him, because a veil of dreams and lies lay on his young shoulders. — Dreaming of becoming a fighter and a soldier are not quite the same thing as actually being one. You are still young and don’t realize many things. The fires of indignation danced in his brother’s eyes. “Maybe,” he said angrily, “but most of the boys from our class have already joined the Hitler Youth, why are you against it?” — Discontent grew. — I want to be like you, like them. Why the hell should I go to this university? — Augustine understood what feelings were guiding his brother. he was afraid of becoming an outcast in society. — Do you really want to be laughed at? — Augustine just sighed heavily: you need to talk to Agnes, maybe she can somehow convince him. Or delay this nightmare. — No, of course not. Let’s not ruin our walk and talk about this properly with my sister later, okay? And… your ice cream melts. “The boy nodded, but this was not what Augustine expected from his younger brother. The rest of their walk passed in cold silence and concern for his brother; Augustine now imagined the life of the younger one too sadly. Just yesterday, somewhere in the back of his mind he cherished the thought that Hume would not fall into this abyss, but he was mistaken. A little more, and Yum will run and jump into it. *** The bell rang in Agnes and Alex’s apartment. The girl jumped up in fright, but still, having come to her senses, she opened the door. Augustine stood on the threshold. — Sorry it’s so late, I was late with my colleagues. We left the restaurant late. I brought you some cakes. Agnes leads him into the kitchen and puts on the kettle. — Have you seen the time? — she asks ironically. Augustine, slightly embarrassed, looks at his watch and is surprised. — Damn, but it’s true. It’s already twelve! — He looks at his sister in bewilderment. — Why aren’t you sleeping? — Yum fell ill after your walk the day before yesterday. Today I had to sit with him, it was not enough for Yunna to catch the infection. Have you come to give away the cakes? — Agnes gets up, takes the kettle, turns off the stove and pours it into mugs. “No,” Augustine sighs heavily, realizing that the conversation will be long. — I came to talk to you. — He pulls the mug of tea towards him. — Augustine, couldn’t the conversation wait until tomorrow? — The girl sits down opposite him. “They could, but I missed you so much that I just wanted to see you.” Besides, it concerns Hume. Agnes became wary. — Why did nostalgia suddenly attack you? You’ve never been known for her attacks. — Agnes rubs her drooping eyes. She’s tired today. — And what did you want to say about Yuma? He returned from your walk somehow wary, and I wouldn’t say very happy. — There is some truth in this, I also didn’t really like how we spent the day. — What is it, did you quarrel? Augustine shakes his head. — Well, yes… Hume said that he wants to join the Hitler Youth, but I don’t know how correct and reasonable this is. On the one hand, this will soon become mandatory, on the other hand, when I remember how I settled down in this barracks, I shudder. He says that all his friends have already joined, and he wants to be like everyone else, but, Agnes, I thought that this moment would never come. I remembered the children in Austria who, remember, also went to meetings, wore badges and sang songs. It looked so rude, stupid and vulgar that it still scares me. I never thought that my brother would want to become the same, maybe you can talk to him? — Augustine spoke quickly. These words accumulated in him for a long time. — No, don’t get me wrong, it just seems rude to me. Well, tell me, what kind of patriotic mood can there be, and patriotism in general, without education and critical thinking? — He looks at his sister. She sits down next to him, taking his hand, as if supporting him. Agnes also suffered from party pressure. Hume also did not listen to Agnes, and Agnes did not dare to tell Augustine that she had no authority in the eyes of her younger brother. Apparently, as she noted, Augustine hoped that she could have at least some influence on Hume, but this was no longer the case. — Augustine, you were not a child who wanted this, you grew up under different living conditions and with a different view. He dreams of being like those heroes from the posters. You and I saw life differently. It’s clear that today’s children are completely different from us. Sometimes, looking at Yunna, who is also eager to join the Hitler Youth, I understand that much more separates us than just age. — Agnes hesitated, thinking over her words. “I also don’t want to repeat such a fate for my brother and sister, but what can we do? Always pay fines? This is fabulous money, and besides, they will be there under supervision. Yes, you’re right, I’m not too eager to give them there either. “Yes, they will be under supervision,” Augustine said coldly, “but under what kind of supervision?!” — He raised his voice, stood up and began to walk around the room; he was bursting with contradictions. — They will be under state supervision, and this is the worst supervision and education. But then I’ll have to worry about what they’ll be like when they come out. — Augustine scratches his head. — You see, not everything is as simple as you think. They only look harmless from the outside. Let’s assume that we can pull the form, but the point is not even that, but the fact that… “But you also graduated,” Agnes interrupts him. Augustine was instantly overwhelmed by the black darkness of memories of his relationship with Gustav and his teachers. — That’s the point, I was only good at science, of which there was little, and bad at physical sports, and after the brawl they turned a blind eye to my mistakes and barely dragged me to graduation, and only because the director a good and long-time acquaintance of our father, otherwise I probably would never have graduated. There is horror there, it just looks like beautiful candy. And inside it, Agnes, there is a bitter and poisonous impregnation and filling. Maybe all is not lost yet, maybe he will go to the naval school — there at least something remains of the same honor, not based on violence. “But Yum loves to fight.” He doesn’t have much strength, so calm down. I think you can keep an eye on him. Besides, what choice do we have? — Agnes quickly cooled down Augustine. “But I’ll think about the naval school.” — Yes, you’re right, I made up too much for myself, sorry. — No, it’s okay, you’re doing great. Just understand that in our eyes they are still small — this is an eternal veil and self-deception. Agnes got up and went to make the bed, and Augustine sat still, looking at the mug of cooled tea. He was full of doubts and worries. He really didn’t like to remember the time when he was locked in the barracks, and he suffered for a very long time, after returning he woke up from nightmares in the middle of the night. It always seemed to him that he was still being persecuted by both the academy and Gustav, and that he would take revenge on him for having once been kicked out of there. Maybe he really doesn’t know Hume and doesn’t understand what he needs? Maybe he sees in his brother only what he wants to see, and not the reality that actually exists? *** Augustine was overcome by anxiety — Hume’s words still couldn’t get out of his head. He thought about it all the time, drawing parallels between his brother and himself. That day he was slow and rude to his subordinates. The operation, organized a couple of days ago, was successful, and all the traitors to the homeland were captured. All that remained was to find the remaining members of the group, who were scattered throughout the country. Today Augustine was doing his least favorite job — he and his subordinates were writing a report on the last group of communists. To do this, he needed to go down to the basement and take the last recording of the interrogation and the recording on tape. It was necessary to end this. He entered a gloomy basement, strewn with crumbs of concrete that had fallen from the ceiling, and overwhelmed by screams and groans from the torture and interrogation chambers. Augustine approached one of the cells, the guard straightened up at the sight of the chief and opened the door — Augustine stepped into the cell. Julius tortured the man for the fourth day in a row, but, as he said, there were no results. He carefully walked to the table and the soldier handed him the newly typed papers and interrogation tapes. The scream in the cell was so loud that it filled your ears; blood spatters were visible everywhere. Julius tortured people in a particularly perverted way — this was his talent. — Will he finish soon? “We need to submit a report,” Augustine asked the soldier quietly; he shrugged. Julius loosened his grip slightly, turned to the private and smiled at Augustine. “You better wash your face, you look creepy.” Julius waved it off. — So why did you come? The smell of blood and human flesh knocked Augustine out of his thoughts. For a minute or two he forgot how to breathe, his throat became so dry, his vision darkened. “I came…” he began, but another cry of pain drowned out his voice, “I came to pick up what you found out, we need to submit documents.” When will you give it all away? — Julius shook his hand — it was covered in blood. Augustine winced. Julius just laughed and called Augustine a girl. He repeated the question. — I think in about thirty minutes. There is no point in questioning this anymore. Let’s take on the next one. Augustine just rolled his eyes and left the cell. The cold and the smell of blood hit my nose again, which literally permeated every centimeter of this basement. He felt like a corpse here, and not like a living person, it seemed to him that when you descend here, you are descending into hell, and your breathing slows down, dissolving in general pain and agony. Augustine walked out quickly. Julius is always setting him up. Of course, he can torture people for an eternity, but he doesn’t care about time limits. Coming out of the basement, Augustine went to the toilet to wash off the blood, which began to dry and tighten the skin unpleasantly. Having washed and tidied himself up, Augustine headed to his office. He, walking at a fast pace, did not notice the female figure, so unusually crowded among the male military uniforms. Passing by her and the private, who was explaining something to her, Augustine did not even listen to the familiar voice at first. Only after walking about five meters did I realize who it was — Irene. He stopped and turned around: yes, it was her — still as beautiful, slender, with bright lipstick on her lips and in an expensive dress. Augustine slowed down two workers carrying furniture into Arthur’s office. — Who is this woman? — Augustine asked, quickly pointing at her so that she wouldn’t see. “This is…” One of them glanced at Irene. “I don’t even know,” he said. The other, scratching his head, let it slip. — This, in my opinion, is the boss’s wife. But I’m not sure. Augustine let them go, and he quickly turned around and went into the office so as not to run into her. He’s not ready for this now. So that’s where she disappeared to — she got married and left, well, of course, Alex was talking about how Arthur went to Austria. Now everything is falling into place. Well, why did she come here? And why now, after so many years, is his heart pounding again, like when he was sixteen? Pictures of their last meeting, Alex’s birthday, appeared one after another before his eyes. Damn, how much time has passed, and she seems to have frozen at this age. Or does he just think so? Augustine thought about everything for about two minutes. He quickly came to his senses, looking at the two surprised soldiers who stood rooted to the spot from the sudden arrival of their superiors. — Should I tell you something? — the man standing next to him said cheerfully, but hesitantly. — No, I just came to see if everything was in its place. Have you already completed what I asked you to do? — Yes, of course, today, and yesterday. — The private handed out the papers. Augustine looked up with blurred eyes. — Okay, well done. — Having said something stupid, Augustine left the office. By this time, Irene was no longer there, and he walked along the long corridors of the headquarters in a state of airiness and some kind of stupid love that had long been forgotten. And he didn’t need Julius’s conclusion at all — he was in the oblivion of the twilight and even closed his eyes, remembering those summer days of the long-past 1926. He smiled, which was rare for him, and felt embarrassed, imagining that maybe he would accidentally cross paths with her. I wonder if she remembers him too? Or did he still remain that stupid boy for her? Augustine sat and turned the pen in his hands, and was completely unable to gather his thoughts. Behind these sighs, he did not even notice that his subordinate burst into the office with bulging eyes. Augustine was about to reproach him for why he dared to behave this way. The subordinate quickly explained that he had knocked, but the boss had not heard him. When asked what happened, it turned out that Arthur was urgently calling him to his place. This news left the ground beneath Augustine’s feet. He quickly disappeared into a series of corridors and, rushing between people, almost ran to the office. He also missed these problems, and he had already decided that everything would be calm now, but somehow it wasn’t like that. Exhaling in front of the office, he hesitated for a long time, and the soldier who came after him and almost crashed into his back handed him a folder that he had forgotten. Augustine thanked him and opened the door. Arthur, as always, sat in his chair and scolded the next boss — this time it was the head of the department for reports from the protectorates of Austria and the Czech Republic. Arthur quickly looked at him and ordered the one who had been standing before to leave.