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The next day, another heavy rain was falling outside, pouring like from buckets. There was a heavy silence reigning in Jinshi's office. The only sounds were the rain's violent drumming against the window and the occasional sighs coming from the young lord himself. The latter was, once again, sitting at his desk with his cheek resting on his palm and holding his brush in his other hand. Grumpily looking down on the document lying in front of him without really seeing it. Neither he nor Gaoshun, who was as always standing behind him, pronounced even one word. But even if the aide had said something, Jinshi most likely wouldn't have listened to him, since he very obviously seemed to be completely immersed in thought. In thought about a certain someone. "She and her plants," the young lord finally grumbled after a while, breaking the silence. "As if these things were worth risking one’s health like that..." Then he let out a snort. "But why am I even surprised? After all, we're talking here about someone who willingly ingests poison. And even enjoys it..." Conveniently "forgetting" the fact that Maomao had made him similar reproaches regarding his work.  Gaoshun didn't comment on that. It rather seemed as if Jinshi was talking to himself, anyway, hence the aide decided to not intervene and to just let his lord let off steam to his heart's content. A cup of tea was standing on the desk, but since Jinshi hadn't touched it, it had already turned ice-cold. As cold as the atmosphere in the room was, despite the burning brazier. Jinshi placed the brush on the desk, gritted his teeth, and buried his face in his hands for a moment. Then he turned around to his aide and gave him an exhausted look. The circles around his eyes were the best proof of how horribly he had slept the previous night. "Gaoshun." "Yes, sir?" Because he had been sick. Sick with worry. About Maomao. His brows curved downwards, creating an expression of deep sorrow on his incredibly gorgeous face. "This is all my fault." These words expressed what was tormenting him the most right now. The last time he had seen the apothecary before going to bed, she had been sniffling and sneezing from time to time, but actually looked pretty fine after her hot bath. The same Maomao as always, you could say. And even though she had explicitly reassured him that she was alright, Jinshi still couldn't help ignoring her irritated gaze and placing his hand on her forehead in order to check her temperature himself. The fact that she didn't have a fever had managed to bring him a slight relief, but somehow he still hadn't been able to get rid of the unpleasant feeling that everything was merely the calm before the storm. And, unfortunately, his premonition had hit the mark: *** The next morning had arrived. Suiren brought Jinshi his breakfast, and he thanked her, but didn't start eating. Instead, he let his gaze wander through his chambers with a frown on his face. The chief lady-in-waiting knew exactly whom he was looking for. She looked a bit surprised as well. "Hm, Xiaomao is late today," she commented. "Normally, she would already be here to receive the instructions for the day. She was always on time until now." She gave the concerned Jinshi a look. "I will go to her to find out what the matter is. Please eat in the meantime, young master." The young noble dipped his spoon into his congee, but then just stared at it, without bringing it to his mouth. His appetite was mostly gone after the almost sleepless night, however, he still forced himself to eat a few bites after a while. But his worry was constricting his throat to such a point that he was barely able to swallow. Time passed. Suiren still hadn't returned. The completely tense Jinshi had already begun to count the seconds in his head. After approximately five minutes, he finally couldn't take it anymore and put his breakfast aside in order to get up and go look on his own. And just as he was about to place the spoon next to the bowl, Suiren returned and looked at him with sadness. "Young master, Xiaomao has a fever. She needs to stay in bed for today and probably the next few days as well." The spoon fell out of Jinshi's hand. He widened his eyes and jumped to his feet. "I knew it! I... I knew it! I have to go see her at once!" He wanted to run out of the room, but Suiren stepped in front of the door. "She asked me to not let you get too close to her in order to keep you from catching another cold. And I agree with her here. You mustn't fall ill again, young master." Jinshi froze and looked at her with an expression that was most likely making the elder lady's heart ache. He already intended to open his mouth and object, but then closed it again, clenched his hands into fists, and lowered his head. The gaze in his eyes was hard to describe. "Please take care of her, Suiren..." he merely said quietly. His voice showed just how much effort it took him to pull himself together. She gave him a little smile. “Of course, young master. That goes without saying. I brought her water and helped her change into fresh clothes. She's sleeping at the moment, but I will get her something to eat later as well." "Thank you." "She told me that she would manage by herself just fine and that I shouldn't trouble myself with her since she's nothing but a simple maid, but, of course, I have no intention of leaving her to her own devices." Jinshi looked up again and then let out a sigh. "Yes... that sounds exactly like her. Don't listen to her, Suiren..." At that moment, Gaoshun arrived to accompany Jinshi to work. *** "Yes, exactly. My fault. Mine," he muttered now, sitting in his office, putting his head on the desk and staring at nowhere with a blank look on his face. "Please don't blame yourself, sir," Gaoshun replied with slight sympathy in his voice and clasped his hands behind his back. "It was Xiaomao's own idea to collect herbs in the rain. This has nothing to do with you." "True, but if I hadn't infected her with my cold, she might not have gotten sick in the first place, even after having been out in that rain… her health is pretty robust..." "I know, sir. And precisely because of that, she will recover quickly, you'll see. If Xiaomao was here right now, she would probably tell you that it's useless to rack your brains over something one cannot change anymore. You know her, after all." "Oh, and how I do." A bitter smile had now posed itself onto Jinshi's lips. He ran his hand over his face. His aide was right, and Jinshi really appreciated the latter's attempt to cheer him up, but the feeling of guilt was holding his heart in such a firm iron grip that words didn't have a lot of effect on him. It would vanish only after him seeing with his own eyes that Maomao was completely healthy and back to her usual self again. And until then he would have to torment himself. To concentrate on his work had become an impossible task for now. Utterly impossible. Gaoshun, who knew his lord perfectly, seemed to have realized that as well. And because of knowing him so well, he was also aware of what Jinshi was currently wishing to do the most. The aide sighed and briefly rubbed the bridge of his nose before speaking up once more: "I see that you're not progressing right now, sir. So how about you take a little break and check on Xiaomao? I believe you will feel better afterward." As soon as Jinshi heard these words, he immediately raised his head from the desk and got up so abruptly that he almost swept the teacup to the floor. *** Jinshi had already been given the opportunity to go see the apothecary in the morning, after he had managed to convince Suiren after breakfast to let him into her room at least for a few minutes so that he could check on her with his own eyes. His main argument was that, otherwise, he wouldn't be able to find any peace for the entire day. Of course, he had already known back then that his anxiety wouldn't be completely soothed by a short visit, but refrained from mentioning it, fearing that Suiren would change her mind.  Nervously twisting his fingers that were hidden in his broad sleeves, he was thus walking to Maomao's room, followed by Suiren and Gaoshun. It cost him almost his entire self-control to keep himself from accelerating his pace and starting to run. What luck that, at least, in his own residence and in the sole presence of his servants, he wasn’t forced to put on his usual mask. Maomao was lying in bed with her back to him. Due to that position, he couldn’t see her face, but judging from the regular movements of her ribcage, she must be sound asleep. It was a more or less peaceful sleep, as he noticed with relief. According to her breathing sounds, her nose was probably stuffed at the moment. Just as his had been during his own cold. He planned to ask Suiren later to prepare Maomao one of those inhalations. Jinshi gulped. Very quietly, in order to not disturb her, he made a few steps into her direction to take a closer look at her. Lying in bed, Maomao looked so incredibly small and delicate that Jinshi’s heart started to ache at the sight of her, and he felt an almost irresistible urge to wrap his arms around her and to protect her. But then he grabbed his left forearm with his right hand and almost buried his nails into his own skin in order to come to his senses and pull himself together. The physical pain offered a welcome, however, small distraction from the emotional one. He slightly leaned over Maomao and contemplated her face that was reddened from the fever and her petite, trembling body. Her hands were balled into fists once again. She twitched a bit, as if she could sense his presence. The young lord sighed. Even if he should give in to his urge, he was still unable to protect his little apothecary from her cold, anyway. Contrary to her, who had taken such great care of him when he had been sick himself and had known the right remedy for every single one of his symptoms, he was utterly useless in that regard. There was barely anything he could do for her. Barely anything to relieve her suffering. That thought almost brought tears into the young lord’s eyes. This was the very first time in his life that he had to see a person he cared for in such a state. The first time he was experiencing strong enough feelings for someone that his worry about that person was devouring him from the inside. It could not be described with words. Swallowing his pain with some difficulty, he grabbed the blanket that had slid down a bit and covered Maomao up to her chin. Next, his hand wanted to stretch out towards her face in order to gently stroke her cheek, but froze mid-air, when he heard Suiren’s voice behind him. “Please, not too close, young master.” Ah, yes. He forgot. But to be honest, he actually pretty much didn’t care if he got infected or not. Because for him, it was a thousand times better to be sick himself than to see Maomao being sick. The former was unpleasant, while the latter was the purest torture to him. If someone had offered him to take Maomao’s cold from her and pass it on to him, he would have agreed without a second thought. Oh, how he would have loved to do something for her, to help her somehow… *** But this time, shortly before his second visit, the premonition, the uneasy feeling in his stomach had returned and was stronger than ever before. And it was still getting worse the more he was approaching her room. It was so bad, he even feared that he would need to vomit any minute from sheer anxiety. Like alarm bells ringing inside of him. An overwhelming fear that something had happened to his apothecary during his absence. Trying to hide his current condition, Jinshi hoped that Gaoshun, who was walking a few steps behind him, as always, would not notice his inner struggle. But since that man was one of the people who knew him best, he wasn’t sure if he succeeded. “Calm down. You have to calm down,” he told himself mentally while taking deep breaths. “The apothecary is alright. She’s surely still lying in bed and sleeping. And her fever’s probably gone down, too. There’s nothing to worry about.” But it was no use. He just wasn’t able to calm down. Finally, Jinshi’s slightly trembling hand opened the door to her room… …and right after that, his heart-wrenching cry was resounding through the entire residence. “MAOMAO!!!” The apothecary was lying on the floor between the bed and the table. Her eyes were closed, and she wasn’t moving. Her body was shivering like a leaf.