Chapter 1
May 5, 2024 at 6:00 AM
It was like a death sentence to know that I would never be able to hug you, never be able to tell you what you mean to me.
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Michael hugs his beloved classmate tightly, stroking his white hair, and he, in turn, does not mind, but only clings more tightly to the hot body of his beloved. But it's a pity that these are just Vladimir's dreams and hopes in love... Vlad's clouded mind slowly begins to wake up from the annoying ringing of the alarm clock. His thin body slowly rises from the bed and turns off the alarm clock with his scarred hands. With pain all over his body, the teenager gets out of bed and lazily trudges into the bathroom. After entering the bathroom, Russia leans against the sink and looks at herself in the mirror. — My God, how miserable I am... — Vlad said in a whisper, looking at his reflection. He was disgusted to look at himself. He didn't like his sky-colored eyes, his pale skin, wavy white shoulder-length hair, and his weight. It seems to him that for a guy with a height of 167, the weight of 43 kilograms is a lot. Therefore, in order not to gain weight, he went on a hunger strike. And no one could scold him: he has no friends at school, he has no brother or sister, he is the only child in the family, he does not know his father, and his mother died two months ago, so he was left alone… After washing with cold water and brushing his teeth, Vlad took out the blade and lowered his gaze to his already scarred hand. After drawing three bloody lines, Vladimir removed the blade, then wrapped his hand in a bandage. After leaving the bathroom and putting on a white shirt, black trousers and a mourning knitted vest over the shirt, Vladimir went into the kitchen and began making black tea without sugar.***
Having brewed tea and sipped it, Russia passed away. Where he is not humiliated at school, his mother is alive and still continues to take care of Vladik, and Mike loves him like his life… Vlad was brought out of his trance by a notification from the teacher:«Vlad, the lesson will start in 40 minutes. Don't be late!!!»
The Russian smiled at the class teacher's concern, then put on a jacket and went to school.***
Walking down the corridor, Vladimir looked around so that he would not meet him and his friends on the way. But luck, as always, is not on his side… One of the British tripped the Russian, and because of her Vlad fell on the cold and hard tile. — Haha, can't your legs hold you up anymore? — Laughing, Michael said, clutching his classmate's white hair. Vladimir was fascinated by this beautiful laugh, but also deeply wounded by the insulting words of the American. He had been in love with this sadistic bully for a long time… — Loser, can't you answer me already? — The elder Brown replied skeptically. — I'm not a loser... — Vlad looked up at the bully. — Vladik, did you say something? You can repeat it, I didn't hear you,— Michael growled angrily, squeezing the albino's hair harder, then slapped him in the face. — How dare you say that to me, loser?! Because of the scream, Vlad shrank, then looked away from the red eyes in which he could drown… Seeing the bullying of the student, the students bypassed this incident, sympathizing with the Russian. Michael, having punched Vlad in the stomach one last time, turned his face to his own and said: — Not a word to the class teacher. Understood? — I understand ... — Vladimir said softly, afraid to get more blows from his beloved. The Mexican, the Canadian and the American left the Russian and went to the class with satisfied faces. Meanwhile, Vlad was getting up from the tile with a new pain in his whole body. Salty tears welled up in his eyes, but he held on. He held on so as not to cry like the most snotty girl. But he couldn't keep calm, because of this, he still had a couple of salty tears, after which there were wet tracks on Vladimir's face. Getting up and brushing off the dust, Vlad trudged to class for algebra, in which he did not understand anything.***
Sitting on the fourth desk near the window, Vladimir looks out the window. Snow was falling behind him, falling slowly to the ground in large flakes. There was a fluffy frost on the trees. After staring and dreaming, Vlad did not notice the angry look of the teacher looking directly at him. — Vladimir, repeat what I said, you listened to me so attentively, — the teacher was waiting for an answer, but there was none. Realizing that she would not wait for an answer, she said, "It's clear, Vladimir, I'm giving you two for today's lesson. Laughter immediately spread throughout the class, ridiculing his classmate. Tears began to accumulate in Vlad's eyes, quietly sniffing his nose, he buried himself in his textbooks.***
As soon as the bell rang from the last lesson, many students ran to the locker room to go for a walk after school or go straight home so that their parents would not worry. Vladimir also ran almost at full speed to the wardrobe, but for a completely different reason. And that reason is to put a note in the pocket of Michael Brown's jacket. Running up to the coveted jacket and putting the letter down, Vlad began to dress with a calm soul. After getting dressed, he left the school. There was a slight frost outside, which reddened the pale skin of the Russian. Snowflakes were spinning in a slow dance and a weak wind was blowing. «Perfect weather for suicide,» Vlad thought.***
When Michael got home, he hung up his jacket and started looking for the phone he had left in his pocket. But he found a piece of paper in the place of the phone. Opening it, the elder Brown began to read it. «Hi, Michael. I would like to tell you that I was very lucky to meet you. I was always ready to get ridicule from you in my address, just to see your smile. Michael, you've always made me melt like ice cream in the sun. I hope that you will not try to dissuade me from this idea, because there is no way to convince me… I want to say that I love you, Michael, and I will always love you...Vladimir Akim»
Michael, reading this, did not understand the meaning of Vlad's handwriting. The most he understood was that Vladimir, the man he had always bullied, loved him? For mocking him, calling him a loser, and even beating him up?***
The next day, the Russian did not come to school, and neither the next day nor a month later did he show up. He didn't find out if his feelings were mutual.…***
In an empty, cold and dirty apartment, his lifeless body hangs on the chandelier in Vlad's room. He hung himself on a strong rope. Now his soul does not feel pain, loneliness and self-loathing. He won't see Michael again, won't hear his mesmerizing laugh, won't drown in scarlet eyes and won't blush when meeting him at school. His mind, body and soul had already made a decision long ago, but hope gave him the strength to live. However, over time it faded away, and yesterday it finally collapsed… Everyone has the strength to live, But for many it is fading away… Unable to let go of his love, The broken soul eventually dies… Vladimir could not stand the game of fate, Because hope has gone out… He wanted to feel someone else's lips on him, Because of this, his love got bogged down. And Michael wasn't paying attention to him., Not knowing the feelings of his classmate… Looking at his suffering, As blood-red liquid flowed out of his wounds… Vlad loved him despite the pain, But he broke down. Playing a pathetic role, He was terribly and pitifully scared. Afraid of non-reciprocal feelings, Vladimir hanged himself. Not knowing strong follies, He trusted his heart. And how it was in vain, Michael loves him. Even now, in the middle of January, It's not easy on his soul…
