After all, there is no one left...

I was walking through the evening city. Approaching the familiar entrance, I took out the keys from a small backpack with textbooks and opened the front door. As I rode the elevator up to the twelfth floor, suspicion crept into my soul. Something terrible was about to happen. The anticipation tormented me, and the elevator obediently counted down the floors. I turned the key and opened the door to the apartment. — Mom? Dad? Andrey? Where are you? — I shouted. They didn’t answer me. Quickly taking off my shoes and throwing my jacket on the floor, I ran to the kitchen, the only room where the light was on. I froze on the threshold. My mother, sitting on a chair, was shaking with sobs, my father stood behind her and held her by the shoulders. — What? What happened? — I asked, turning pale. My mother looked up at me with tear-stained eyes. — Andrey ran away… — she whispered. — In terms of? Why do you think so? Maybe I just stayed late at the club, — I suggested. — No, Sasha. He left us a note. He said he wouldn’t come back, — the father said. It was clear that he was holding on only for the sake of his mother. — Then why are you sitting? Did you call the police? Maybe they’ll find him! — I exclaimed. — We already called. They said they would try. But I don’t believe them, — the mother answered. My shoulders slumped. This was to be expected. But I didn’t blame my brother. It’s all the parents. They didn’t love him, didn’t care about their own son. It was predictable. His parents didn’t care about him. Everything could have turned out differently. They did nothing when they found out that Andrei smokes and drinks, that he goes to clubs. And now… They say correctly, they begin to appreciate only when they lose it. I was afraid that I would never see him again. I loved him, and he loved me. Yes, he was not a perfect brother, but he was brave and strong-willed. There are few such people. I admired him and considered him an example. I knew that sooner or later this would happen. But that didn’t make it any easier. I woke up. It was just a dream. But that day remained in my memory for a long time. They say the pain subsides with time. However, this is far from the case. True pain does not melt, no matter how many numbers change on the calendar. It is incredibly difficult to remember lost loved ones, and the desire to grab onto smiles and voiced laughs remains only in dreams. Pain does not dry up, but becomes forever sewn into every part of our existence, in the appearance of our individuality, one of the prisms through which we perceive the world around us. And our meeting fourteen years later only made the situation worse. I felt sorry for him. But not the Andrei whom I saw in the interrogation room, but the one who made a mistake with his choice then, many years ago… Today I had to… go to work again. My life was returning to its normal rhythm. Everything that happened seemed like a bad dream, however, the inner voice and the number on the wrist did not agree. Of course, it will take a long time to forget everything, but I am sure I will succeed. At the police station, all my colleagues tried to congratulate me on my belated birthday from the very morning and give me a gift. During the entire working day, I worked a little with documentation, and the rest of the time I chatted with friends in the hall. The boss even let me go home early. Everything was for me. But at the same time it seemed unreal. Pretentious. I brushed aside the thoughts, citing the fact that I had to go through a lot and my psyche had suffered, but suspicions did not leave me. On the way home from work, I stopped by the kindergarten to pick up Yulia. Katya was supposed to come home only in an hour, so I decided to while away the time with my daughter on the playground. In the evening, after dinner, we sat down on a comfortable sofa in the living room and watched a movie together. I didn’t really follow the plot, being immersed in memories. How have I gotten out of the habit of spending time like this… My family is nearby, no one bothers us… I’m not alone. In that world I almost lost my mind. Now everything will be fine. The film is over. It was already late, and tomorrow it was early for work. After putting Yulia to bed, Katya and I went to bed ourselves. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep.