Ursaphobia

It was getting late at night. We set up tents to gather firewood and make a fire, fortunately there is plenty of this good in the taiga. Summer in Siberia is hot, but it's a little cold in the evening, I want to get warm. — Then you stay at the tents, I'll get the firewood. — Wait, don't go away! — Yes, not with you, Rusik, what is there so-and-so? — Bears... – Ruslan answered with alarm in his voice, fear was clearly visible in his eyes — Are you afraid of bears? Don't you think that this is a bit too much for a city in Siberia? — I'm not afraid of anything! They're just really dangerous types! I'm worried about you! — Yes, I can see that you are afraid! – Dugar did not let up — It's not true! If there's anything I'm afraid of, it's your babr. That's true, what kind of half-cancer-half-dick is this? — Why did you get to him? Is it just a tiger, are we talking about bears now or what? – he squatted down next to Ruslan sitting on a log – Do you even know that bears are daytime animals. They sleep at night, but you're not afraid to walk during the day. Anyway, they're afraid of fire, so you're going to sit in the tent, and I have to go get some firewood. Dugar left and Ruslan was left alone. Again… He hated loneliness and silence, he hated this endless, empty and lifeless taiga with all his soul. Irkutsk's words made it easier to breathe, but the ringing silence gave birth to millions of unbearable, buzzing thoughts in my head. To drown out the noise, to shout it over in his head, Ruslan read poetry, it helped at least a little to get rid of obsessive thoughts, think about something else and distract himself. "How many centuries, you, the water of the Yenisei, Rolling with the Sayan wave after wave, We, the Krasnoyarsk people, by our river They embraced the country before the ocean. Hugged to the ocean… How many centuries, you water Yenisei" When it didn't help, he read aloud and louder, louder, louder. When Dugar left, it was still quite light, but it seemed as if half an hour, an hour, two had passed, and he was still gone and it became noticeably darker. And besides, there will be no fire until he comes. It is good that Irkutsk did not take long to wait any more. They lit a fire, it became somehow quieter. And even in the middle of the dark, endless taiga. It was already completely dark. — You never told me that you were afraid of bears, I thought you loved them. We went to the circus to watch them, I thought you liked it? — Well... I wouldn't say. Ruslan suddenly stopped talking. — And yet, what happened? There must be some reason, right? They can't even do anything to you! Or have you ever been bitten by bears? — Well, how can I tell you… — Tell it like it is — What can I tell you!? – Unable to stand it, he shouted – Yes, I don't really remember anything myself! The brain erases negative memories sometimes, have you ever heard of such a thing? — And what, you don't remember anything at all? I'm sorry if something is wrong, but if you talk it out, it will be easier. — Well, do you remember in the seventies, when you came to me, your horse died? – Dugar nodded affirmatively – So that's it. I gave you my horse then and walked through the forest… Krasnoyarsk would have continued to tell, but he was interrupted. — Oh my God, Rushik, you don't have to tell me any more, I get it… — Yes, I don't remember much further than that. There were only two goats on horses, they abandoned me and left, I don't even remember their names now… — I'm sorry, please, I probably shouldn't have taken your horse. — You have nothing to do with it, I offered to give you a horse.… And so they would probably have eaten the horse, but she does not know how to grow her hands – the last phrase was said with a good-natured mockery, but soon a light laugh turned into a gushing cough. It's a pity that the lungs can't recover like that. The tea that night was especially delicious.