Six cigarettes after sex

      The midday sun of Midgard was blazing its rays down the streets of the bustling city. People rushing in every direction hurried past a small café nestled on the corner of the lively street, paying no attention to the dark-haired girl in a waitress apron.              She smiled brightly, fluttered between the small tables, sweetly chatted with the patrons, completely unaware that one person was watching her.       Loki stood on the opposite side of the street, concealed in the shadow of a sprawling tree, which somehow managed to survive in these concrete jungles, now shielding not only passersby from the scorching rays of the summer sun but also Loki from the gaze of a certain dark-haired girl.       He had been coming here every day for the last five months. Loki had managed to find her after all this time, yet he was afraid to approach her. He no longer wanted to cause her pain, he saw that she was happy now, smiling. He was afraid that if he approached her, she would push him away, reject him and not want to listen. He felt so guilty in front of her...       But today, Loki came here with only one intention—to finally gather his courage and step out of the shadows, to ask for forgiveness and to look into her incredible eyes one last time. He knew he probably didn't have the right to do so, but it was vital for Loki to feel her presence, to hear her voice, to talk to her, even if this conversation would be the last…       Looking around, the man adjusted his black suit and stepped decisively out from under the shadow of the tree. Squinting for a second against the bright Midgard sun, he made his way towards the café, his gaze fixed on the dark-haired girl he had long lost…

      ***

      She was wiping down a small table near the entrance to the cafe when she felt someone approaching her.       "Hey," a painfully familiar voice said, causing her to catch her breath and her heart to beat wildly, painfully pounding against her ribs. The girl slowly straightened up and turned to face Loki, her gaze locking onto his pale face.       "Hey," she replied softly.       It's been a whole year since she left him, escaping from Asgard to Midgard. For a whole year, she hadn't seen Loki, hadn't heard his voice, and hadn't looked into his mischievous eyes. But now, for some reason, there was something missing in his gaze, those sparkles that had been so memorable for her. They no longer had that playfulness, there was no more mischief or roguishness. Loki seemed even paler, his features sharper, and his eyes held a universal weariness.       "You've changed a bit," she said, still speaking softly, afraid to continue looking at the dark-haired god.       "And you haven't at all," the man nervously cleared his throat. "You're just the same as I remembered you. Beautiful. Divine.”       His words sent shivers down the girl's spine.       "I would like to talk to you," Loki continued, gazing into her large eyes.       "I'm working right now…" she responded, but noticing the fleeting plea in the man's eyes, she added, "but soon I'll have a break, then we can talk if it's not for too long."       "Then I will wait," the man's voice was slightly hoarse with excitement. "Over there, under that tree."       Loki pointed to the sprawling tree where he had recently been hiding from her gaze.       A slight smile touched the girl's lips as she nodded. Something about Loki had changed; she had never seen him this way while living in the palace with him. And as she walked along the wide street during her break, her heart trembled painfully, urging her to be next to Loki as quickly as possible. Her foolish heart still loved him… but she didn't want to fall into his sweet trap again. She was ready to listen to him, to put an end to their relationship once and for all, and leave everything behind, leaving her first and last love behind.       Loki stood with his eyes closed, leaning back against the mighty tree trunk. His black suit accentuated his slender figure, long legs, strong arms, narrow shoulders, and the incredible paleness of his expressive face.       "Beautiful," echoed in her head as she stopped next to him. "Still so beautiful… Still love you the same…"       As if sensing her presence, Loki opened his eyes and turned towards her.       "I'm glad you came," the man said, giving her a gentle smile.       "Thought I might change my mind?"       "I was afraid that you would change your mind," the girl raised her eyebrows in surprise and crossed her arms over her chest. She no longer wanted to believe him…       "So what did you want to talk about?"       "I wanted to ask for forgiveness," Loki replied, making her look him straight in the eyes.       The sounds of the big city, the hum of voices, and the noise of passing cars suddenly fell silent. They stood in the shadow of a sprawling tree, looking into each other's eyes. They both longed, both in pain.       Loki hated himself for what he had done to her. He couldn't forgive himself, couldn't forget the morning he woke up alone in a cold bed and realized that he had lost her. That he had done everything in his power to betray her, break her heart, and lose her.       And it was painful for her. Painful to realize that she still loved him, that she still remembered all those happy moments spent with him, overshadowing everything else.       "I apologize to you for all the pain I caused," Loki finally burst the bubble of silence in which they had both been submerged, drowning in sad gazes directed at each other. "I know I should have told you this long ago, back when you were still around… But I couldn't… I couldn't say 'forgive me,' I couldn't stop, I couldn't stop hurting you."       "Why?" she blurted out, tears welling up in her eyes.       "Because I knew exactly how I was treating you, how I was breaking your heart every day, every second, time and time again. And every day I promised myself to become better. I never wanted you to leave me. From the first day you arrived at the palace, I knew I was in love, and I was lost. I showed you love in the only way I knew, and I ask for forgiveness. I beg you for it and blame myself for everything that has happened.”       She took in a deep breath and swallowed her tears, not allowing herself to be weak.       "I couldn't change in Asgard," the man continued, taking a small step towards the girl he loved so much. "Every day, I was trapped in my own vicious cycle, a trap that I had created for us with my own hands… When I woke up that morning and realized you were gone, it hurt. I thought I would die, my heart stopped, and my soul felt like it had been torn in half. But I was so happy for you. You were able to leave after all…"       "You knew I wanted to leave you and didn't stop me?" the girl's voice trembled with betrayal.       "I knew and I had no intention of stopping you. I understood that in order to break this painful, vicious cycle, someone needed to be stronger, to take the first step. I was weaker. I couldn't stop being who I was, and you could. You could leave me, leaving behind a parting gift.”       And reaching into the pocket of his black jacket, Loki pulled out a photograph. The very photograph that she had once given to him, as a sign, as a cry for help. A keepsake.       "Forgive me," the dark-haired man repeated. "Forgive me for making you unhappy, for breaking your heart, and causing so much pain.”       "Thank you," the girl said after a momentary pause, feeling the stone vices that had previously prevented her heart from beating normally weaken their painful grip.       "What?" Loki's heart skipped a beat and he looked at her with surprise.       "Thank you for letting me go back then," she replied, looking at the man with gratitude.       And at that moment, as they stood just a meter apart, paying no attention to people passing by and the cars whizzing past, something shifted in their inner world. It became easier to breathe, the world around them regained its colors and sounds, feeling warmer and a little kinder.       Loki was able to confess, to tell her that he loved her, always had. He apologized, and even if he could never forgive himself, she… her eyes suddenly lit up. She needed those words, she had to know. They put a period on the past, were able to look each other in the eyes again and feel how their hearts slowly began to beat in unison.       "By the way, I now live in Midgard too. On Earth," Loki smiled shyly. "Perhaps one day, by fate's will, we will meet again and be able to try to start over."       "Maybe," she smiled back, and without saying goodbye, headed towards the coffee shop, where work awaited her.       And Loki remained standing in the shadow of a sprawling tree, watching her go with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes that, as he thought, he had lost a year ago when he woke up alone in a cold bed, sensing the faint smell of bitter Midgardian cigarettes…