Chapter 4. Like hamster in the spinning wheel
February 1, 2024 at 12:11 PM
After the encouraging news about the approval of all participants, the day of the first rehearsal was appointed, or rather the beginning of the organization of the entire event directly with the participants and in the hall. Surprisingly, the spacious room turned out to be too small for everyone, as those who were initially not at all concerned with the event honored them with their presence.
Perhaps the only point for the preparation of which no one was afraid was the speech and the participation of the presenter. Seungmin didn't doubt himself either, so he wasn't particularly worried. This allowed him to focus on helping Professor Bang, calming Hyunjin's bouts of drama, working on a personal project related to these two… And, of course, to throw the remaining forces at rapprochement with Changbin.
Seungmin assumed that he would be present at the rehearsals and was working out possible tactics to attract attention. To be honest, he sincerely did not understand how Changbin, who perfectly saw through the feelings of others, could not notice the romantic interest in his own person. This brought Seungmin to the verge of despair, but he was not used to giving up, so he tried all possible ways.
Their acquaintance was predetermined by their mutual friends, but at first both were in no hurry to get closer. Seungmin tended to communicate with many people and in large numbers, and Changbin seemed withdrawn. There was a feeling that it was as if he did not want to make contact. Although in fact, it turned out that Changbin was still a jerk. To be so, he needed the company of close friends, or to get used to the role of Matchmaker of the Century. And Seungmin found out about this fact of his personal life only after six months of their acquaintance. It took that much to get used to and become friends.
Upon learning that they have at least one hobby in common, Seungmin unexpectedly even rejoiced. Besides, their hobby was too unusual to find at least one like-minded person at all. At this point, and thanks to the discussion of the blog, their restrained communication moved from a dead point. Previously, at their mutual meetings, Minho and Hyunjin tirelessly discussed dancing. And there was a silent awkwardness between the “matchmakers”, which Seungmin tried to dilute with his specific jokes. Changbin – with comments on dishes… So they had something to discuss. And sometimes their discussions even turned into enormous controversy. At the same time, each of them, while remaining true to his own opinion, respected the other's point of view and methods, as there are no clear rules in love.
So word by word and meeting by meeting they became closer to each other. And they themselves did not notice how they spent more time not only at breaks, but also outside the university. Their special entertainment was a competition in comparing the number of couples who found happiness at their hands. Sometimes Seungmin liked to make fun of Changbin, testing some tackles on him. He almost never understood the jokes and cracks of Seungmin, and if they were with someone else, the "explanatory team" saved the situation, but in private the joker had to explain everything himself. At first it was infuriating, but then he noticed that there were advantages to it. For example, if Changbin understood the meaning of a joke or a tackle, then for Seungmin it was an indicator that the statement was quite mediocre. Fortunately, the proud Seungmin and unfortunately everyone else with a probability of 99% of his statements did not reach the goal. But after thorough explanations that it was a training tackle and that he was practicing possible strategies, Changbin inevitably became embarrassed and awkwardly moved his fork around the plate, drawing circles.
Seungmin got a taste. He liked it when Binnie was embarrassed, even after a lot of explanations. But if at first he was openly amused by the impenetrability of his friend, then over time, Seungmo began to feel an unknown heaviness to him. It was as if every time his words bounced off the wall of misunderstanding (and suddenly unwillingness to understand?) and they settled, pressed, accumulated because they did not reach the goal. Seungmin, though not immediately, was still able to sort himself out. Thanks to his experience. So he came to the conclusion that he liked Changbin romantically. It was necessary, of course, to make sure completely, so he decided to act, otherwise with someone like Binnie you will not wait for the weather by the sea.
When Seungmin had just started to pay attention to the “object of sympathy”, he started with the most usual way – he tried to cross their paths more often at the university. To do this, he thoroughly studied Changbin's schedule, found out where he dined more often – and all in order to casually show up once again, to attract attention. During the conversations, he showed interest in Changbin's stories and was generally a grateful listener, despite the fact that he usually liked to act as a narrator himself.
As soon as Seungmin did not try to establish contact: with various verbal formulations, ranging from complex and ornately poetic to frankly straight as rails. Physical contact has also been tested – then he will sit closer, then he will put his head on his shoulder, then he will hug him tighter goodbye…
Of course, this did not pass by the keen gaze of close friends. And they already simply sympathized, assisted or supported Seungmin as they possibly could, but did not feel pity for him - Seungmo would not have stood it.
What about now? Now Seungmo was almost at the last stage of despair and frankly did not know what else he could do. At the same time, asking for help from friends was beyond his dignity, because he was a professional in love affairs and simply could not lose face in front of them. Friends saw and understood his condition, but in fact they could not really help in any way, and even so that it was unnoticeable.
However, Seungmin didn't have to beg for too long: Changbin decided on his own that he would come under the pretext of moral support for the starving participants. The news was pleasant – Seungmin was only for his company. Warmly greeting him without the usual tackle, so as he does not run away, Seungmin attracted everyone's attention for Hyunjin's introductory words, so that everyone would remember their duties and tune in to fruitful work. After that, everything went much faster. And the first rehearsal, which flew by too quickly, was followed by others.
At the same time, Changbin's real goal was to implement his “love plan”, for which Minho had to be brought to rehearsals. Well, how to bring… Minho actually followed Changbin himself as soon as he found out that Han would also be performing. Sungie told him this in one of their correspondence, which imperceptibly became everyday.
The awkwardness after they missed Minho, who was “very busy in the studio”, passed when the elder explained everything from his side with stress and mood swings, Jisung, it's not your fault, really. Let me redeem myself after lectures! You just wanted to try a new seasonal offer – sesame cheesecake. At the same time, he did not just pay off, but sincerely wanted to negate the new distance in their communication. Sungie did not doubt for long and yet appeared at the appointed time in their place, as promised. Apologizing that he was not alone, because his friends, Jeongin and Felix, followed him. And by the end of the evening, he had to pay again for a whole cake to feed the poor students who did not come off each other. Minho received only polite general questions, and all attempts to engage in a direct dialogue with Sungie flowed into a discussion of the topic around the table. Sometimes he had to look too enthusiastic about food, so as not to cause a new portion of guilt in his "fourth cat".
“Was it possible to hope for something and consider him still his own?”
Despite the correspondence and meetings, inconvenient little things made it difficult to understand the dynamics of their relationship with Sungie. He seemed to react to him – he was embarrassed, answered messages and did not run away from the conversation when they met. At the same time, it was sometimes difficult to restrain his stupid jealousy towards this nice guy: the circle of communication-the Squirrel's rotation was not limited only to his company. Sungie was often with Jeongin. This was understandable, they were childhood friends. But sometimes he watched too closely how Sungie patted his friend on the head or hugged him with the words that he was doing well. Innocent and friendly. Not for Minho.
On the other hand, Minho was pleased to note that Jisung became part of the company of his friends, and found a common language with Hyunjin and even with Changbin (food can beyond all doubt conquer the world). With Hyunjin, the usual communication somehow turned to flirting when Jisung found a way to help Seungmin calm down his friend and redirect the focus of attention from another drama to a funny wordplay.
In one of these conversations, the usually not vindictive Hyunjin remembered how he wanted to come up with a punishment for Changbin and asked Sungie for help, and Minho just stood next to him and also volunteered for a brainstorming session. They did not come up with anything worthwhile during the meeting, until Seungmin returned to them, from the threshold he recalled the last rehearsal to several people present: he had never been responsible for dancing yet, but then Minho really did not interfere with the “free body”, and for three hours Seungmin miraculously did not break down while helping the guys with support. So that no one would be upset, he decided not to remind who almost strangled him, and who mixed up his shoulder and his neck with his feet. His body still hurt. He even had to consult with Minho at night. Fortunately, his friend went with him to the pharmacy and helped him buy everything he needed. It looked, maybe, confused, but the pain subsided a little, and Seungmin was ready for new exploits.
Hyunjin was lucky, and the idea for punishment was not long in coming. Changbin dug himself a hole thanks to his misunderstanding.
“Do you think you can come looking like this and embarrass everyone around?” Changbin turned a little sharply to Seungmin.
“What kind of view? Dazzling?” The presenter did not understand what caused such interest in his outfit, but decided to play along.
“If you have a personal life, you don't have to be so obvious.”
“Mm??? My personal life is only in the future. Before my eyes” Seungmin says with a hint and still asks for help from Hyunjin with a look. Han almost choked with laughter at this phrase and clutched his stomach. Even the serious Minho has a faint smirk on his face.
It seemed to Changbin that he had put Seungmo in a dubious position in front of friends who were whispering on the sidelines. He was clearly uncomfortable, most of all from his own thoughts, so he decided to leave the hall and cool his head. The next tackle of Seungmo was appreciated only by the audience… Again and again.
“What did he see there?” Minho was indignant.
The others just shrugged. Seungmin also didn't understand why his friend had suddenly flared up, because Changbin had never been angry in his presence before.
“How are you doing?” Minho broke the silence from Changbin's departure. “Is the neck okay?”
At this point, it was Han who provided Seungmin with an ambiguous look, and then turned towards Minho. But Seungmo, having crushed his shoulder and neck in the area of the retainer, calmly replied.
“Yes, everything is fine, Minho. Thanks for helping out yesterday after training. I think if it wasn't for this fixative and ointment, I wouldn't have made it to uni today.”
Hyunjin brightened up, and a satisfied smile lit up his face, and his eyes turned into two cunning slits.
“I think I've come up with an idea,” Hyunjin whispered his thoughts aloud in euphoria from his own genius and already addressed loudly, “Seungmin-ah, do you by any chance need there, well, massa—a—ge?”
“It would be nice, but I don't really want to feel your rake on my delicate shoulders.”
“And that was a shame!” he pouted his lips. “Although I wasn't going to do that!”
Looking around, he found Changbin had already returned. I jumped up to him, threw my arm over his shoulders in a brotherly way.
“Oh, you're back in time, Binnie! We just need your help, or rather, I came up with a punishment for you!”
Everyone was quiet, waiting for the continuation. Changbin tensed, even though he knew that Hyunjin wouldn't have been able to come up with anything frankly offensive.
“Well, share your way of punishment.”
“You know, our Seungmo has been getting so tired of preparing the show lately that his shoulders ached from the strain. Give him a massage!”
Minho and Han nodded approvingly. Seungmin immediately got used to the role of “poor swan”. And Changbin hesitated. He wanted to be embarrassed, as usual. Besides, he didn't go to get some air for nothing, and then they returned him to Seungmin again. But you cannot get rid of the punishment, you will still have to do it. And after hearing that Seungmo was unwell, worries about the health of his ¿friend? outweighed the scales of his personal priorities. Binnie turned to Seungmin.
“And the massage won't hurt you, don't you mind yourself?”
“If it's you, then everything is fine,” Minho, hearing another flirtation performed by Seungmin, hurried to close Jisung's eyes and turn him around to the unattended bento. While there were no competitors, they could have lunch with Changbin's masterpieces and, perhaps, and finally talk, just the two of them.
***
Despite the fact that he did not volunteer to speak, Felix actively participated in the preparation. More precisely, it was a kind of “support group”. He knew many of the participants personally. He was the first one to clap his hands from the successful run of the girls' dance number, the first one ran up to cheer if something didn't work out. But when he saw Jeongin on stage, he himself was slightly thrown up with excitement, as if he personally was there instead of his friend. I.N... on stage, he was exactly that, as if he was becoming a different person. At least that's what Felix thought. I.N’s voice is incredibly clean and sonorous. Lix literally fell out of reality when he heard it live. it sounded almost the same as on the recordings... but... somehow closer? the effect of presence? it seems to be there, far away on the stage, but it seems to be nearby at the same time… After the show was announced, Jeongin knew for sure that he would be performing. It was only necessary to decide on the song. His repertoire was great. Some of the compositions were composed by Han, Jeongin was more often engaged in song lyrics. Some, however, he composed entirely himself. He was especially proud of them. Felix listened to all the recordings Ninnie sent. Surprisingly, the choice of both fell on the song HUG ME. Lixi noted that it matches Ninnie's image in all respects. Although he kept silent about an additional point in favor of this composition, which he was even afraid to admit to himself – listening to him, he imagined how Ninnie was hugging him, and that their meetings had recently become associated with him and these kinds of imaginations. For I.N, this song was one of the few that he created on his own, and that's what he hadn't presented anywhere yet. Even Han hasn't heard the full finished version yet. Jeongin even considered announcing after his performance that this song is dedicated to a special person in his life. He also wanted to spend time with Jisung, held on to this idea until the last moment and continued to believe that everything would be as before. However, deep down in his soul, he was beginning to feel that something had changed, just recently. He didn't really understand what it was, but it wasn't a pleasant feeling. It was as if someone had invaded their private world. In university life, he did not notice anything special, everything seemed to be as usual… Or does Han somehow too often not look up from the phone with a big smile? But who knows who could write to him? Classmates, participants of the show. Some memes were constantly being sent there in the chats, so this may be a reason for his happiness? Jeongin definitely believed that with the help of a common number and his song, he would be able to take a step towards his passion in the form of a restless, but the best person in his life. So he thought, but with the beginning of a more thorough preparation for the event, he again returned to that ambiguous state, to which excitement for his friend was also added. Felix wouldn't be Felix if he hadn't noticed the way Ninnie was looking at Jisung. Sometimes it wasn't the look of a best friend. It clearly read the romantic context. He noticed it almost in the first month of acquaintance with these two. At first, he did not attach much importance to this. He didn't want to get into their long-term friendship in this way, he thought they would figure it out themselves. Besides, Felix was clearly more interested in new acquaintances and hangouts than in the problems of someone else's personal life, even though his friendship with them became closer. But everything changed after that buffet. Jisung began to disappear more often, and Lix began to spend more time alone with Ninnie. Thanks to this development, they finally managed to talk and get to know each other better. Jeongin was not very sociable and almost every time Jisung talked for both of them. But over time Ninnie began to open up to Felix a little, and it turned out that he could discuss music for hours. Felix did not notice how immersed he was in communication with Ninnie, how he could not take his eyes off the sparkling smile, how he wanted to be the source of this smile. But Ninnie seemed to see only Jisung in front of him. And if before that Lix did not want to interfere, now, with the awareness of his own interest, he began to delve more into what was happening around. It was then that it became obvious that Jisung clearly had something (or someone) more interesting than his best friend. And that Ninnie's unrequited love, which gives him the meaning of life now, may soon cause him very severe pain. Lix decided that if possible, he would try, if not to prevent this, then at least to reduce the suffering.***
Since the rehearsals began, Jisung has never performed his song (“Close”) at them. At first, he really thought of playing guitar for Jeongin to work out part of it, but Minho often broke into rehearsals with Changbin, which made Han lose his way every now and then. Jisung didn't want Minho to hear the song before the performance, so he asked Jeongin not to rehearse without him and without music. He was ashamed in front of his friend for interrupting too abruptly and constantly using excuses not to perform a single piece within the walls of the university. "There are so many people around, and it distracts me. I'm sorry I can't concentrate and get lost, I'll pull myself together. There is still a lot of time, we will rehearse at home and we will have time for everything." He trusted Jeongin. He wanted to share his feelings with his friend more than ever, but after the confession, so that for sure. Very quickly, he noticed Minho trying to listen to the words from Jeongin's part. Jisung couldn't let him hear everything. He wanted Minho to hear it for the first time at a concert, so that there would remain special memories after his performance. To explain his reasons and at the same time keep everything a secret also seemed to him something impossible. It seems that he owes this kind of thinking to Hyunjin. Escalating the situation leads to the fact that he begins to disrupt rehearsals. He doesn't do it seriously, so as not to interfere too much with others, and he agrees with I.N that they will rehearse normally at home. He says the words are too personal to be heard by others. He promises that he will continue to walk and observe the progress of his friend. When Han doesn't come on purpose, he gives Jeongin time to concentrate, and he sits at home and repeats his own words. As if from a player on repeat, the song bursts out from under his fingers again and again. He can't stop singing because there's so much he wants to tell through it Han already knows hundreds of different versions of the same three minutes and forty-six seconds. How to sing and play them romantically and in high spirits. How to repeat individual parts in his special manner and how to choke on every word. How to jam the strings and shout at the end when the words hurt him too much, but he can't help but keep singing because he needs to finish. It's hard to imagine how he will perform it with Jeongin in front of Lee Know. Jeongin may be a guarantee that Jisung won't disrupt anything, or maybe that won't be enough. One thing is for sure. To be heard, he will finish any version. As a result, in the studio, Jeongin stays to sing, and Jisung, running to them, joins them while others are resting, joking, starts going around all the students, which are engaged in rehearsals, or goes to chat on his phone. They created a chat strictly for participants on the initiative of girls quite recently. They wanted to discuss something in the team first, then they started joking that they could add someone, but without the organizers. So it turned out that Jisung's phone was constantly bursting from their discussions. And if at normal times the messages were distracting and could be a little annoying, during rehearsals, Jisung thanked the creators of the chat and took everything into his own hands. Starting to joke and speak out loud, at the same time he enlivens the chat. Throws memes, cheers everyone around, noticing and noting their progress for everyone. Sometimes it seems to him that the works of his fingers and restless mind can be safely screened and sent to Hyunjin to report them. He won't write more details anyway. By the way, he also sticks to Hyunjin in the hidden hope of being asked not to come and shine again until the show itself. Minho did not miss such a strange behavior. When Sungie switches from restlessly winding circles around the studio to joking dialogues with Hyunjin, he does not stop him. It is pleasant to see a smile, even if it is not caused by interaction with him. Minho waits for him to play enough to attract Sungie's attention himself or through Changbin. A break for snacks and water always works. Before his eyes, Jisung goes through all the steps from communicating with Hyunjin to gatherings over food prepared by Changbin. Everything follows a similar scenario up to a certain point. The next rehearsal, at the moment when Hyunjin's nerves suddenly give up after talking with Sungie, Bang Chan comes into their studio. The last thing Minho wants to do is to be obvious right now, but with Chan at the door and Hyunjin on the verge of hysteria, he has no choice but to protect Jisung, even if it's all his fault. Minho takes him by the hand to take him away and cover him with own body. Hyunjin helps him clarify the situation. “Guys, it's okay. I'm just laughing.” Bang Chan never believes. Yeji and Seungmin, who left for a while and returned only now, confirm. In Hyunjin's case, shaking and laughing to tears is normal. Pleased with the professor's reaction, Seungmin thinks that he will need to ask what kind of tackle Jisung worked on him this time in order to use it on Changbin.***
“Hyunjin, are you sure everything's okay?” Bang Chan handed him a glass of water to calm him down faster, and he took a mug to brew another coffee. “Yes, Professor, don't worry,” Hyunjin was almost ready when he noticed the drip bag in the teacher's hands. First of all, the hands themselves attracted attention – the veins on them were still noticeable and seemed to hypnotize. The student's hands itched to make a photo reference for further sketches, but he did not want to be obvious and frighten others with his interest. Hyunjin captured the image in his mind, licked his lips and forced himself to look away. However, diverting his attention to coffee was a fatal mistake, because Bang Chan, who learned to be extremely sparing even on time, during his university period, held the drip packaging in one hand, and kept the kettle ready in the other. Anyone in his place would have freed his other hand for this, but Bang Chan helped himself with his mouth right in front of his eyes, tearing off the top of the package with his teeth. The idea of what else he could tear so passionately with his teeth made his throat dry up sharply, and Hyunjin allowed himself a second glass of water. “run away while you can” “Professor?” “Mm?” part of the packaging prevented him from speaking clearly. At least, he made it clear that he was paying attention. “I'm... going to get some water… This one, it seems, is not enough,” having successfully seen Seungmin coming up next to him, he pulled him close to whisper confusedly in his ear. “Seungmo, distract him, please, I'm not taking him out anymore.” Seungmin grinned, squeezed his hand, nodded quickly and switched to Bang Chan. “And it happens. You know, I had a great idea. Let's send a compilation of Jinnie's laughter to the general chat. For so many years, so many different situations have accumulated that they are like memes, for all occasions. And you will feel calm, and the guys will understand that he has a different kind of hysteria that looks incomparable with minutes earlier. What do you think?” “Would your friend mind? He's vulnerable, he might not appreciate it.” “No, no, you can be sure. With your permission, I'm uploading.” Despite Bang Chan's words, it was clear that he was ready to watch this compilation video, one of the first. Hyper-responsiveness could also speak in him, but Seungmin felt it. He needs to push. “Oh, sorry, I accidentally sent it to you. And in general, for some reason, the voice instead of the video was attached ... Now I will add a normal file to the chat. While it's loading, we can just watch it with you. I'm just warning you, it's better to put the coffee aside, otherwise it will end up on your shirt. Here you have a skeptical look, but let's argue. If you laugh at least once, you have to fulfill my wish – add an infectious laugh from the voice record to all sound notifications in your phone.” Bang Chan was too gambling and confident in his abilities to refuse and did not suspect the planned operation to direct his attention to the best friend of the presenter.***
Bang Chan's morning started with a headache named Hwang Hyunjin. The professor basically separated his work activities and personal life, but his subconscious screamed that everything could change at any moment. In his dream, he saw a continuation after the student's recent message. In all colors. After waking up, the frames flashed before his eyes as if under a transparent film. His breath was lost against his will. The desire to review the dream and feel it again, however, lost to Chan's hyper-responsiveness, and he began to get ready for university. It seemed impossible to survive the day calmly, when there was a couple with the hero of his dreams, but it was worth a try. A sudden laugh from the phone, a new alarm, made him jump. On the verge of a heart attack, he reached out to turn off the sound. The road to the university left room for thoughts, which Bang Chan went into. Sound notifications frightened him every two seconds. Reluctantly, Chan switched everything to silent mode. Probably, he will have to wait until the end of the concert program to change the signals back, but, returning to sleep again, somewhere inside he already had a feeling that he would want to cheer up with specific sounds after. An ordinary pigeon, blocking the road, pulled him out of his thoughts. For the first time in Bang Chan's memory, the infernal bird did not have to be bypassed – the pigeon, purring at him, jumped away by itself. From the pocket, voicing the situation, there was a loud infectious laugh. damn calendars and plenary sessions! The gates of the university were around the corner, so Chan, allowing himself to count to ten, picked up his pace. No one attached importance to the crumpled appearance of the teacher. Chan was often late for rehearsals due to the fact that he had a lot of things to do at the department. To be more precise, almost all the young employees (yes, there were still more girls in the teaching staff, even the young ones) seemed to have conspired and went on maternity leave at once. No, well, it's really hard to believe, but it almost looked like an epidemic. Bang Chan was undoubtedly happy for the girls, but at the same time all their work was gradually taking away the slightest piece of already unfree time. And then the organization of Talent Shows was hung up on him. Nevertheless, he was imbued with romance, because all these girls, before going on vacation, kept talking about their husbands, dates, and how nice everything was there. One lonely evening, Chan even almost let out a stingy bachelor tear from the fact that he suddenly wanted love and these sweets, bouquets and the like. Hyunjin has definitely read and listened to a lot of Seungmin posts in vain. Yesterday, after asking a friend why there were fewer updates, he received in response a presentation of a publication plan for six months ahead. And this is taking into account the “sensations”. The commitment to the cause was impressive, but it did not affect his night's rest. Stories. All these plots that Seungmin managed to link together. For the emotion, surprise and heart attack of his target audience. A chain reaction, he called it. Hyunjin was usually interested in conclusions and analyses, but rather superficially. This time was different in that Seungmin did not take his eyes off him. All the time he was talking, Hwang's eyes were hypnotizing him. For a second, he imagined that he was in a fairy tale about a pied piper, and the pied piper was definitely not him. Perhaps Hyunjin's paranoia turned on, but everything seemed to hint that you were next, yes, yes, it was you. And you'll drown in it. Being a topic of conversation would be both funny and disturbing at the same time. Faith in friendship was also present. The confidence that Seungmin will not do anything behind his back and at least ask before writing about his life publicly. Other thoughts suggested to him that this was a mistake. Who should he start a relationship with at all? Not with Seungmin and not with Minho. The latter was definitely missing in the boy Hyunjin remembered from the beginning of the year. Few people listened to him and Seungmin so attentively. Attention with a touch of respect is always nice. Thoughts of respect led back to Minho, their long friendship and help during their dance era. It was worth writing and asking if they could put something together again not for a competition, but for now for themselves, just like that. He didn't want to get out of bed to get the phone, and he didn't want to put it off either, so he quickly found himself at the table before he changed his mind, picked up the phone and began scribbling to Minho. After sending the message, with a sense of accomplishment, he put the phone back on the table, or rather on the album forgotten on it. The perfectionist in Hyunjin dictated to him to put the phone next to him and close the album. Only the first one turned out. The album was not released from his hands, so it was decided to go to bed with him and paint until morning. The readiness to draw returned to the usual course, and he calmed down and took up a pencil. Hyunjin opened his eyes and tried to figure out where he was and why his hands were gray. That's right, it was hard to resist in the evening. He probably fell asleep in the process and got a little dirty. The sheets will have to be sent to the laundry again under the talking looks of others. Don't you dare judge me, it’s not what you are thinking about. After collecting the laundry and putting it to wash, he returned to the album and searched for a pencil. Critically noticed the flaws in the drawings. Flowers and a cafe where he was recently with Seungmin. And the last finished one was a dance scene. It did not depict Hyunjin himself, nor any of his friends or acquaintances, but the very image attracted the eye and did not let go. His subconscious was telling him where and why he wanted to go back. The fingertips twitched, feeling the warmth spread, and the album was closed. It was necessary to urgently put it in a bag and get ready before leaving in order to present himself before Seungmin on time. Otherwise, jokes cannot be avoided. Had he dreamed something after yesterday's conversations? And he dreamed. He remembered how, after the scene, his fingers began stubbornly to draw on paper a portrait of an elusive thought about a possible person for him. Without details, just a sketch. Something prevented him from moving on to the face and specifics. Abstract lines were noticeably circled several times, not always accurately, in an attempt to add at least something. The silhouette was still blurry in the end. On paper, but not in a dream. Chan's posing meant something. There was nothing vulgar, downright vulgar about it. In a dream, Hyunjin was painting a portrait of professor Bang at the university. They didn't talk, but there was something comfortable and intriguing about it. Hwang wasn't naive either, no matter what others might think. He rarely painted portraits, they were not friends with the professor. Inspired by hints from Seungmin, the answer to the question was in his memories of a non-existent canvas. Hwang decided to immerse himself in daydreams about this at uni. How to recreate the drawing. If the previous image was purely from an aesthetic point of view, here he had to convey a hidden meaning. Identical. Maybe it won't work, but everything will be obvious. The drawing will be the personification of acceptance and his statement to himself.
